KOTLC React to ships
by A very obsessed fangirl
Summary: The main KOTLC characters react to different ships, and other ship-related things! Although each chapter starts out with them discussing the ship, the chapter can become very strange and off topic. Lots of Fitz/Sophitz-bashing, especially in earlier chapters, which I apologize for, but the chapters are funny. -THIS IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY, OKAY?
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: Sophitz shippers, I am VERY Team Keefoster. This fanfiction** ** _will_** **insult Sophitz quite often. Don't read if you ship Sophitz. Or if you don't ship Keefoster.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Keefoster:**

Keefe: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

Sophie: I ship it too.

Me: OTP OTP OTP OTP CUTEST COUPLE EVER!

Fitz: Team Sophitz will always be cooler.

Keefe: Dude, stop acting like a wannabe me. It will not make Foster like you.

Fitz: I am not acting like a wannabe you!

Keefe: And yet your hair is styled differently today…

Fitz: Maybe I just wanted to change my hairstyle.

Keefe: A hairstyle that looks exactly like mine?

Fitz: By pure coincidence.

Dex: Sure Wonderboy. Obviously.

Me: Okay, everyone else, tell us what you think about TEAM FOSTER KEEFE FOR THE WIN! Oh, and if anyone else doesn't like it, I will make you punch yourself in the face.

Fitz: She can't do that.

Fitz: *Punches himself in the face.*

Linh: Are you a mesmer?

Me: I wish. I'm just a writer. *Sobs*

Linh: So anyway, I can't believe it took Sophie that long to realize that Keefe liked her, and even longer to realize that she liked him back, but they're a great couple.

Tam: Well, I don't want Keefe to be happy-

Keefe: Feeling the love, Bangs Boy.

Tam: But honestly they were made for each other.

Dex: Yeah, I'm kind of jealous that Sophie doesn't like me, but I'm glad she's happy. I'm also glad she's not with Wonderboy.

Biana: OMG THEY ARE THE GREATEST COUPLE EVER OTP!

Fitz: *Gasps* My own sister, shipping Keefoster!

Tam: Fitz, DUH. SOPHITZ SINKS!

Me: I think the whole world ships Keefoster. Except for Sophitz shippers. *Sighs* They live a miserable life.

 **PLEASE REVIEW PEOPLE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Undecided13: Thank you! You are my first review. And also my only review. But it's only been up a day, so that's pretty good, I guess.**

 **Sophitz:**

Keefe: I ship it!

Sophie: WHAT? I am your GIRLFRIEND. YOU DON'T SHIP YOUR GIRLFRIEND WITH ANOTHER BOY.

Keefe: In fact, I _Titanic_ it.

Me: YEAH GO KEEFE!

Fitz: But… the Titanic sank…

Keefe: Exactly.

Dex: Sink. Sophie's too good for Wonderboy.

Tam: NOPE.

Linh: NEVER.

Sophie: NO KEEFOSTER FOR LIFE.

Biana: NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

Fitz: I… I ship it. SOPHITZ FOR THE WIN!

Sophie: NO.

Keefe: I AM ASHAMED TO HAVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND.

Biana: EXILE HIM.

Mr. Forkle: Mr. Vacker, for the crime of shipping Sophitz, I have no choice but to release you from your oath. You may leave now.

Fitz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 **Sorry! I know, it's short! So sorry! Next chapter will be longer, I promise! Please review! You know, so I can be motivated to write longer chapters. Not because I'm one of those pathetic people who needs reviews to survive. Obviously.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Booksforlife23: Did you mean "I ship Keefoster and Sophitz sucks."? If not, I believe reviews are for CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, not for insulting my ship. If you do not like the ships in the story, do not read the story.**

 **Sodex:**

Fitz: Never gonna happen.

Dex: Wow, you could at least be nice about it, Wonderboy.

Keefe: It's Fitz. He can't be nice, Dex. I thought you knew that.

Fitz: HEY I CAN BE NICE!

Keefe: Oh really? Name one time.

Fitz: Well I always bring Sophie presents…

Keefe: That doesn't count. You were just trying to get her to _l_ _ike_ you.

Fitz: YOU'RE NOT NICE EITHER, KEEFE!

Keefe: I do _lots_ of nice things!

Fitz: Like pranking Dame Alina?

Keefe: THAT BENEFITS ALL OF FOXFIRE!

Fitz: Well, the Great Gulon Incident _was_ pretty awesome…

Sophie: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THAT IS!?

Me: I KNOW RIGHT IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE! I MUST KNOW!

Keefe: Well I can't tell you right now.

Sophie: WHY NOT!?

Keefe: Because A very obsessed fangirl is writing everything I say and she has no idea either.

Me: OH SURE. BLAME EVERYTHING ON _ME._

Keefe: But it _is_ your fault.

Me: Well… *searches brain for way to get out of this* Why are we talking about the Great Gulon Incident? This is the Sodex discussion!

Keefe: You're being really obvious you know.

Me: WELL REALLY IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT TELLING SOPHIE WHAT IT IS!

Sophie: *Sighs* HI TAM! HI BIANA! HI LINH! HI DEX!

Tam: The nerve of them, starting without us.

Biana: I know. How dare they?

Linh: How rude.

Dex: I know. I say two things and then they completely ignore me.

Me: I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

Linh: OK! I don't really have anything to do with Sodex anyway!

Tam: You're too nice, Linh.

Me: So, you, you don't forgive me?

Tam: No, I'll forgive you because you give me mallowmelt.

Dex: Yeah. And because you insult Wonderboy.

Biana: You're forgiven!

Me: So back to Sodex...

Dex: Well I kinda like another girl, actually...

Keefe: REALLY?! WHO?

Dex: *Looks at Biana* *Blushes*

Tam: *Glares at Dex*

 **Please review! And also, please vote on my poll, Diana vs. Tiana. I CANNOT DECIDE AND IT WILL BE REALLY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY LATER! And also review. And did I mention review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Guest-who-ships-Keefoster: THANK YOU! Yes, poor Sophitz shippers. My friend is one (sobs). I call it Keefoster but you can call it whichever you prefer. AND YES WE WILL FIGHT!**

 **Cressida123: So that's one vote for Diana... Ugh yeah I hate Fitz. I won't kill him though because his reactions are funny. AND I WILL NEVER STOP SHIPPING KEEFOSTER, EVEN AFTER FLASHBACK! I AM A LOYAL SHIPPER!**

 **Guest-who-ships-Sophitz: Cressida123 says "Did you actually just come here to insult her? Wow. That's lower than low- especially since she warned you about it in the freaking summery! Geez. If you have nothing nice to say, I think you should leave and find a Sophitz story. Thank you." And also I made Fitz sad because I can.**

 **Undecided13: Thank you! Tiana or Diana?**

 **Tophie:**

Keefe: NO! BANGS BOY DOES NOT GET MY FOSTER!

Tam: Dude, I don't even like her.

Keefe: YOU DON'T LIKE FOSTER! LEAVE! NOW!

Tam: *Facepalms* I meant I don't _like-like_ her, moron.

Me: Now boys, be nice. Actually don't because it's fun to write people arguing.

Keefe: Wow, you control what we do?

Me: *Smiles proudly* Yep.

Keefe: Can I punch Fitz?

Me: Of course!

Keefe: *Punches Fitz*

Fitz: OW!

Keefe: Cool! Now can I kiss Foster?

Me: OF COURSE YOU CAN!

Keefe: Yay! *Kisses Sophie*

Fitz: GRRRRRRRRR!

Tam: Isn't this the Tophie chapter and not the Keefoster chapter?

Me: (Whining) But I loooooooooooooooove Keefoster!

Tam: I'm sorry but we need to react to Tophie.

Me: *Cries* YOU'RE MEAN! AND SINCE I CONTROL YOU I WILL GET REVENGE! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Dex: Is she mentally okay?

Me: I STOPPED BEING MENTALLY OKAY THE MOMENT I JOINED MY FIRST FANDOM!

Biana: Anyway… Tophie? Nope. I don't see it.

Linh: NO KEEFOSTER FOR LIFE!

Me: YES!

Fitz: No. Out of all the Sophie ships I think this is least likely to happen.

Me: You would think that, but then you see the next ship… nope I'm not telling you what it is.

 **I'm evil :). But if you review, I will be motivated to update sooner! So you should review to find out what the next ship will be!**

 **I'm pathetic, aren't I?**

 **Just review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Undecided13: Yay Tam! And okay, that's one for Tiana.**

 **Guest: Thank you! AND YES I MUST KNOW WHAT THE GREAT GULON INCIDENT IS!**

 **Cressida123: Don't worry, it's not Feefe... yet. Yeah, I'm such a procrastinator usually but with this I update so quickly. And my revenge on Tam... *Cackles evilly***

 **Sovalin(Is that the name?):**

Fitz: I was wrong.

Me, Dex, Tam, Linh, Fitz, and Biana: *Run away from disgustingness of this ship.*

Me: Oh, Tammy, it's time for my revenge!

Tam: NOOOOOOOOO!

Me: Oh, yes! And you must...

Tam: *Praying to every deity he knows of*

Me: Die your hair pink! **(This was in my other story but it's the best form of Tam-torture so I'm using it again.)**

Tam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dex: *Gives Tam elixir*

Biana: Where did you get that?

Me: Author powers.

Tam: *Dyes hair*

Me: Beautiful.

 **Now lets see how Sophie, Keefe, and Valin react to Sovalin!**

Sophie: EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! NO! NEVER! NOT EVEN IF HE WAS THE LAST PERSON/ELF LEFT ON EARTH!

Keefe(mimicking Valin): Sophie, if you date me, you can be drooly too! I WILL SHOW YOU THE GLORY OF DROOLING!

Sophie: EW Keefe.

Valin: YEAH SHIP SHIP SHIP!

Sophie: Valin?

Valin: Yes Sophie I will marry you.

Sophie: That's not what I was going to say.

Keefe: *Is practically exploding with the effort of trying not to laugh.*

Valin: Ugh I guess we can just date for now. I suppose we are a bit young for marriage

Sophie: WE ARE SIXTEEN! WE ARE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR MARRIAGE! AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!

Valin: You said you didn't like Keefe and now you're dating him.

Sophie: IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN, OKAY!?

Valin: Okay! We were agreeing to get married, right?

Keefe: Um, Valin? If you don't want to die, back away slowly. I am getting some very murderous vibes from Miss F.

Valin: YOU JUST WANT HER ALL FOR YOURSELF!

Keefe: I warned you.

Sophie: *Sucker punches Valin*

 **Be sure to review people! If you do I'll give you... um... all of my Christmas presents... yeah...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Undecided13: I don't celebrate Christmas. Also, my mom's allergic so I CAN'T GET A PUPPY!(SOBS). I REALLY WANT A PUPPY! Sorry about Tam, I also think he's awesome. Yeah, Doing a Fitz/Marella react is a good idea, thanks.**

 **Diana:**

Me: Hang on, before we start... Tam you have a message from Undecided13, a fellow author. She says "Hi." She is also a huge fan of you.

Tam: Wait I have fans?

Me: And now, back to DIANA!

Dex: Yay!

Biana: Maybe.

Dex: Why not?

Fitz: Maybe because you hate Vackers?

Dex: I don't hate Vackers, I just hate Wonderboy.

Sophie: Yeah, you guys are cute together! Why didn't I think of this before?

Me: I totally thought of this before. HA! I'm smarter than Sophie!

Sophie: Do you ship it?

Me: I'm torn between Diana and Tiana.

Dex: CHOOSE DIANA!

Tam: CHOOSE TIANA!

Biana: UM… I choose… Um… I HAVE NO IDEA!

Me: BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE.

Biana: It's a tie.

Me: BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE.

Biana: It's up to Shannon Messenger.

Me: BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE.

Tam/Dex: IT'S UP TO BIANA!

Me: BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE.

Sophie: Diana or Bam? Diana or Bam? But if you had to choose.

Me: Dear Shannon Messenger, Biana's indecisive so who are you promoting? But if you had to choose!

Keefe: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS SINGING?!

Sophie: HAMILTON!

 **Yeah, I am a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Hamilton fan. My friend Glitterbutt23 and I literally quote Hamilton in like 90% of our conversations. And next chapter, the winner of Tiana vs. Diana will be revealed! And I will be singing (writing?) more Hamilton! Please review, especially if you ship Tiana! Diana's winning, so if you want Tiana to win you have to tell me!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow, my last chapter has only been up 4 hours and already I have 4 reviews… I feel popular!**

 **Cressida123: When you said you had stopped responding, I knew… YOU'LL BE BACK! I am way too obsessed with Hamilton… whenever someone mentions the Vacker legacy I'm like "Legacy. What is a legacy?"**

 **Guest: I doubt anyone actually ships it, I just thought it would be hilarious. I used to ship Linh/Fitz, but then I started shipping Lylie, so now fitz is lonely! The Diana vs Tiana is actually going to be resolved this chapter!**

 **DangerousPie1: Sorry… a majority of people voted for Diana.**

 **Timelord20a: Sorry… I don't ship that.**

 **Undecided13: Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own KOTLC. If I did, I would have made Keefoster happen already. Also, I do not own Hamilton. I cannot sing. My friend Glitterbutt23 can vouch.**

Tam: YES!

Everyone else: …

Tam: I mean huh cool.

Me: BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!

Fitz: Not this again.

Sophie: *GASPS* YOU DID NOT JUST INSULT HAMILTON!

Fitz: Um… Well it's just a bunch of songs.

Me: IT IS NOT JUST "A BUNCH OF SONGS"! IT IS A WORK OF COMPLETE AND UTTER GENIUS.

Linh: BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!

Keefe: OH!

Biana: The people are asking to hear my voice.

Keefe: OH!

Biana: For the fandom is facing a difficult choice.

Keefe: OH!

Biana: And if you were to ask me who I'd promote.

Keefe: OH!

Biana: Diana has my vote.

Dex: YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Tam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY BIANA?!

Me: I'M SO SORRY TAM! IT WAS THE OTHER PEOPLE'S FAULT, THEY'RE THE ONES WHO VOTED FOR DIANA!

Tam: Dear Dex Dizznee, I am slow to anger, but I toe the line, as I reckon with the effects of your life on mine. I look back on where I failed, and in every place I checked, the only common thread has been your disrespect.

Me: Please don't let this end the same way Hamilton ended.

Tam: No promises. *Brings out eighteenth century dueling pistols*

Me: WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?!

Fitz: How did Hamilton end?

Tam: Would you like a demonstration?

Me: YEAH GO TAM!

Fitz: Does he kill Burr?

Sophie: FITZROY AVERY VACKER, I AM ASHAMED OF YOU!

Keefe: Everyone else here knows how Hamilton ends.

Fitz: HOW DOES IT END?!1

Me: Burr kills Hamilton.

Fitz: Well now you spoiled it!

 **Wow, I updated twice in one day! To thank me, you should review...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Glitterbutt23(otherwise known as Bobrina): You're finally in this chapter! You're welcome!**

 **Guest: Sorry, Diana has been chosen. But Tiana's great too!**

 **Somebody Random: TEAM FOSTER KEEFE WILL ALWAYS BE COOLER!**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you! I love your username!**

 **Beefe:**

Me: Hey everyone, my friend is joining us today.

Glitterbutt23: HI EVERYONE!

Keefe: Not a huge fan of the ship, but the ship name is great.

Me: YESSSSSSSSS!

Glitterbutt23: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFE!

Biana: Do you ship it?

Glitterbutt23: NOOOOOOOOO KEEFOSTER 4 LIFE!

Me: WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE FRIENDS?!

Tam: NO BIANA! YOU DESERVE BETTER!

Keefe: What like you?

Tam: Maybe? Are you a Tiana shipper, Bobrina?

Glitterbutt23: Diana for now. I also ship LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Fitz: What does that mean?

Me: It's the ship name for Linh and Wylie.

Fitz: Why do you ship them?

Me: Well there are many reasons. First of all-

Keefe: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY FITZ?

Sophie: SHE'S NEVER GOING TO SHUT UP!

Biana: SHE'LL JUST KEEP RANTING ABOUT HER SHIPS FOREVER!

Me: Don't you want to hear about LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Tam: NO.

Linh: Well actually I kinda want to hear about how Wylie and I might make a good couple.

Glitterbutt23: _OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_ LINH _LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES_ WYLIE!

Me: Glitterbutt23 stop acting like a five year old!

Glitterbutt23: But I _like_ acting like a five year old!

Me: Linh is like 16 or something! It is perfectly normal for her to have a crush!

Dex: Aren't we supposed to discuss Beefe?

Fitz: *Gasps* DEXTER I FORGET YOUR MIDDLE NAME DIZZNEE! ELVES ARE VEGETARIAN!

Dex: I KNOW. THAT'S THE SHIP NAME, YOU IDIOT!

Keefe: So, back to the actual ship, NO.

Biana: Nah.

Tam: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dex: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: NOPE NOPE NOPE!

Glitterbutt23: GLITTER BUTT! IGGY! GLITTER BUTT! IGGY! GLITTER-

Me: *Slaps her* WE'RE DISCUSSING BEEFE, YOU IDIOT!

Fitz: Are you sure you guys are friends?

Me: THIS IS TRUE FRIENDSHIP HOW DARE YOU!

Glitterbutt23: IDIOTNESS IS HOW WE EXPRESS OUR INNERMOST FEELINGS! And I hate Beefe, no offense guys.

Linh: No.

Fitz: I ship it.

Me: So what exactly are your ships?

Fitz: SOPHITZ!

All: *GAGS* Continue.

Fitz: Beefe, Dinh, keep Tam lonely.

Keefe: I support that last part.

Tam: HEY! I SHIPPED YOU AND SOPHIE!

Keefe: Yeah but we're meant to be. *Puts arm around Sophie.*

 **Yay! A little bit of Keefoster to end the Beefe chapter, because yeah that totally makes sense. Please review, um, because Glitterbutt23 wants to know what people think of her... yeah... not because I'm a pathetic person who is desperate for reviews... totally.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Glitterbutt23: You're welcome! Really sorry I didn't come on Sunday. When will you be back?**

 **KeefosterSokeefe: Thank you! I will include your messages! Sorry about making it Diana. And sorry but I ship Lylie. Fitz can be lonely, I don't care.**

 **Teefe:**

Keefe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOO! *Runs away. Far, far away.*

Tam: I'd rather die.

Keefe: *Screams* I'D RATHER LIVE LIFE WITHOUT PRANKING!

Tam: I'd rather dye my hair pink again.

Keefe: *Still screaming* I'D RATHER KISS A GULON!

Tam: I'd rather go back to living with my parents.

Keefe: I'D RATHER READ DAD'S BOOK AGAIN!

Dex: Um, can the rest of us give our opinions?

Keefe: I'D RATHER SHAVE MY HEAD!

Biana: Can you please use author powers to SHUT THEM UP!

Me: But I like listening to them argue…

All except Keefe/Tam: PLEASE!

Me: Okay. *Snaps fingers*

Tam: *Moves mouth but no sound comes out*

Keefe: *Moves mouth but no sound comes out*

Linh: Ah, peace and quiet.

Glitterbutt23: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH! ARE WE REACTING TO TEEFE?!

Me: Peace and quiet died. A long, long time ago.

Glitterbutt23: In a galaxy far, far away.

Me: I WISH YOU WERE IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY!

Biana: So, Teefe. Never.

Linh: They're really similar, but… no.

Dex: They would kill each other.

Fitz: The only way this would ever happen is if they were mesmerized.

Me: No, Grady would never do something _that_ awful to Keefe.

Keefe: *Moves mouth* *mouths "Can I please talk?"*

Sophie: Promise you won't scream about how awful Tam is?

Keefe: *Nods*

Me: *Snaps fingers*

Keefe: I definitely think Grady would do that to me.

Me: He doesn't hate you _THAT_ much.

Keefe: _Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure_ he doesn't.

Me: Well he would never take you away from Sophie.

Keefe: Okay, that's true.

Grady: WAIT DID I JUST HEAR THAT THERE IS A WAY TO KEEP _THAT BOY_ AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!?

Sophie: Wait Dad how did you get here?

Me: Oh, I used author powers. AND NO GRADY KEEFE AND SOPHIE ARE THE BEST COUPLE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!

Grady: I beg to differ.

Keefe: Well I beg to differ... on your... difference...

Grady: I can't be around THAT BOY any longer! *Leaves*

Fitz: I think Sophie and I are the best couple in the history of the universe.

All: SHUT UP FITZ NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS!

Me: Okay… peoples I have a message from KeefosterSokeefe. She is a person who is reading this story. Keefe, she says that she is in love with you-

Keefe: Who isn't?

All but Sophie: *Raises hand*

Keefe: *Pouts*

Glitterbutt23: But she won't interfere with you and Sophie. Tam, she says you're cute. Biana, she says you should've picked Tam.

Tam: I like this girl!

Biana: To all Tiana shippers: I'M SORRY A MAJORITY VOTED FOR DIANA!

Me: Dex, she apologizes but says you should be lonely.

Dex: How rude.

Glitterbutt23: Linh, she says you should if anything you should pick Fitz. I DISAGREE! LYLIE FOR THE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Me: And Fitz, STOP ACTING LIKE A JERK AND BACK OFF FROM KEEFOSTER!

Dex: It's hilarious how these people think Fitz will stop being an idiot.

Me: AND EVERYONE SHE LOVES YOU AND THANKS YOU FOR SUPPORTING KEEFOSTER! Well, everyone but you, Fitz.

 **Wow that was a long chapter! It's 600 words! (Okay, not that long... but I have an average of like 350, so it's long for ME.) PLEASE REVIEW! And happy holidays people!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Glitterbutt23: WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE SOMETHING! And make it good or me kills you! FYI Fintan says hi!**

 **Undecided13: Lol. Thank you! Apology accepted!**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you! And actually, this chapter is LYLIE FOR THE WINH!**

 **Lylie:**

Linh: YEAH! LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Everyone else: What?

Linh: I mean, yeah that would be nice.

Wylie: Wait what's Lylie?

Tam: That's a ship name for you and Linh.

Wylie: Why are people shipping me with Linh?

Linh: BECAUSE WE'RE MEANT TO BEEEEEEEEEE! I mean um...

Me: YAY! LYLIE!

Wylie: Is she one of those weird shipping people?

All: YES.

Fitz: But she doesn't ship Sophitz how rude.

Dex: Who invited you?

Me: Sorry guys.

Glitterbutt23: Sorry I was late I was making these "LYLIE FOR THE WINH!" Posters.

Wylie: WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE INVADING MY PERSONAL LIFE?!

Me: I'm sorry that's the disadvantage of being a book character.

Wylie: I THOUGHT I WOULD BE DEFEATING THE NEVERSEEN! NOT TALKING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE!

Glitterbutt23: SO… who do you _like?_

Me: Wow very subtle.

Wylie: I'm not telling you!

Glitterbutt23: But sharing is caring, so you should share your crush!

Wylie: NO.

Me: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE?

Wylie: Fine then share _your_ crush!

Me: Okay! *Sighs dreamily* I'm… in love with… MALLOWMELT!

Wylie: You're in love with mallowmelt.

Me: Yep. And now everyone has shared their crush, so it's your turn!

Fitz: Wait we did?

Me: YES! Sophie and Keefe are dating, Fitz likes Sophie, Dex and Tam like Biana, Biana likes Dex, and Linh like Wylie.

Wylie: WAIT LINH LIKES ME?!

Glitterbutt23: Yes. And now we know who you like… Thank you.

Wylie: Come on Linh, let's leave these morons.

Linh: THANK YOU!

Tam: TAKE ME WITH YOU!

Linh: Um, Tam? I think this is kind of maybe like possibly a date?

Tam: UGH SOME SISTER YOU ARE, LEAVING ME WITH _THEM!_

Me: Hey we're not THAT bad!

Tam: Trust me. You are.

 **So... Tam hates me. Probably because I chose Diana. Sorry Tam! And Wylie doesn't like me either. Fictional characters don't like me... I'm sad. Make me feel better by reviewing!**

 **Also, I'm going to start writing another story where the characters read one Sophitz, one Sodex, and one Keefoster moment for each book. The moment for book one will be when Sophie meets each boy. I will take requests for moments. (Please request moments)**


	11. Chapter 11

**DangerousPie1: Thank you! And a lot of people ship Lylie! Thank you for the request!**

 **Flowergirl15: Thank you! AARGGGGGGGGGGH I hate Fitz. I was ok with him until Flashback. Lylie... one of my friends doesn't care and one (Glitterbutt23) is also going "YAY LYLIE!"**

 **Undecided13: I'm doing one moment per book per ship. Twenty one chapters... assuming I finish before book 8. Well that's going to be fun. Thank you for the requests! Yes I was originally going to make it just the Sodex kiss but then I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO they must read a Keefoster moment!"**

 **IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I JUST BAKED MALLOWMELT. MOST GLORIOUS THING THIS WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.**

 **Litz:**

Linh: Sorry, but I like-

Fitz: Yeah yeah. *Is staring at Sophie*

Linh: HOW RUDE HE DIDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME!

Fitz: Could you move? You're blocking my view.

Linh: What view? *Turns around* *Sees Sophie* *Sighs* Fitz…

Me: FITZ! SOPHIE WILL NEVER LIKE YOU! STOP ACTING LIKE A MORON… oh wait my bad you can't do that. Now tragically Glitterbutt23 cannot join us today…

Dex: Wait how is that _tragic?_

Me: Well...

Glitterbutt23: HI GUYS!

Me: I thought you couldn't join us.

Glitterbutt23: I wasn't going to until I heard (read?) the word MALLOWMELT.

Me: *Sighs* Idiot. Do you have like a sixth sense that alerts you when someone mentions mallowmelt? Also, somewhat more tragically, Tam cannot join us today. Neither can Wylie.

Linh: Is Wylie joining us regularly?

Me: I don't know. *Takes out imparter.* Show me Wylie.

Wylie: How may I help- OH NO, IT'S _YOU!_

Me: Are you going to be joining the reacts regularly?

Wylie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Glitterbutt23: Is that a yes?

Me: *Smacks her*

Wylie: Now goodb-

Me: WAIT WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LITZ?

Wylie: Is that a ship name for Fitz and Linh?

Me: Yeah!

Wylie: NEVER! I HATE THIS SHIP! Now can I leave? And never come back?

Me: Okay. You're kind of hard to write anyway.

Wylie: What do you mean, "Hard to write?"

Keefe: Oh, she's an author and she controls everything we do. Did we forget to mention?

Wylie: Um...She controls us?

Me: Yep.

Wylie: MY LIFE IS IN THE HANDS OF A STUPID LITTLE GIRL?!

Me: Well you don't have to call me stupid.

Wylie: But you made me call you stupid… So really you're calling yourself stupid.

Me: Um... BYE!

Wylie: FINALLY I CAN LEAVE-

Me: WAIT! We'll never see each other ever again ever-

Wylie: HALLELUJAH! *Hangs up*

Keefe: It's okay. He thinks you're an immature moron, but I think you're amazing because you ship Keefoster and torture Fitz!

Fitz: Where were you, Biana, and Dex last time?

Keefe: I was fixing my hair, Dex was babysitting the triplets, and Biana was practicing vanishing with Della.

Fitz: You were fixing your hair.

Keefe: Duh.

 **I NEED TWO REVIEWS TO BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD! ONLY TWO REVIEWS! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Wow… I got so many reviews. Thank you guys so much!**

 **Cressida123: Yes I love Hamilton! I definitely agree with your opinion on Beefe. Choose Lylie! And great Hamilton reference! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!**

 **Flowergirl15: Yes mallowmelt is glorious. And yes NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU FITZ! GO AWAY AND QUIT MESSING WITH KEEFOSTER!**

 **KeefosterSokeefe: Okay… I'll try to remember all that. And Marella isn't here yet, but I'll try to remember when she does come.**

 **Guest: Thank you!**

Me: Hey everyone!

Biana: Aren't you going to tell us the ship?

Me: Well first I have some messages from KeefosterSokeefe. Fitz- I hate you! You're a jerk and you will NEVER EVER deserve Sophie! Tam- You're amazing and you and Biana are meant to be and I will always stand by that! You still have a fighting chance to win her over! Just keep TRYING! Keefe- Don't even know where to start but, your amazing and hot and amazing in every way and you and Sophie are meant to be! Don't ever let Fitz bring you down! Sokeefe for the win! Linh- I actually believe that now Fitz should be alone forever and live in misery so I'm not exactly sure who I ship you with but, you are an amazing person and I'm so sorry that Keeper fans are in control of your life right now. Biana- Please pick Tam! He's in love with you and your meant to be! Dex- Hi there Dex... Biana is supposed to be with Tam and I'm sorry your such an underappreciated character but... I'm sorry. Sophie- Never forget that you and Keefe belong together, and please learn martial arts or something so you can kick Fitz's face off. And now, the ship!

 **Fitz/Dex:**

Dex: …

Fitz: …

Keefe: …

Everyone else: …

Dex: (has recovered from his shock) NEVER!

Fitz: Why not?

Dex: You… YOU CALLED ME DECK!

Fitz: Oh, I'm so sorry Desk.

Glitterbutt23: *Cracks up*

Keefe: Um… What's the ship name for this?

Sophie: Ditz?

Linh: Fex?

Biana: Fidex?

Sophie: FedEx! Ship it like FedEx!

Tam: What…

Sophie: I decided to go on FanFiction yesterday to see if everyone else was as…interesting as A very obsessed fangirl and Glitterbutt23. I read a story about Fitz and Dex, and the author said they "Ship it like FedEx"

Dex: I really do not understand the fandom.

Me: I only understand the Keefoster shippers. And the Lylie shippers. And the Diana/Tiana shippers. And I sort of understand Litz shippers.

Fitz: What about the Sophitz shippers?

Glitterbutt23: I don't understand them. At all.

Sophie: You're members of the fandom. What are they like?

Me: Well there are varying levels of insanity…

Tam: You're at the top level, I'm guessing?

Me: No. She is though. *Points at Glitterbutt23*

Dex: Woah.

Sophie: So what are they doing?

Me: Dying while waiting for book eight. And dying while wondering WHAT THE GREAT GULON INCIDENT IS!

Glitterbutt: Well technically I'm dying because I'm waiting for Nightfall. And I'm dying because FORK MAN!

Me: Shh guys don't spoil anything for her.

Sophie: Why are you dying so much?

Me: BECAUSE SHANNON MESSENGER IS EVIL!

Sophie: Who?

Me: Your creator.

Sophie: MR FORKLE IS SHANNON MESSENGER?!

Me: No… I mean the person who created this fictional world you live in.

Sophie: What do you mean, FICTIONAL?

Me: Um… forget everything I said about Shannon Messenger. She's a woman who recorded your story and shared it with us miserable humans.

Sophie: Oh… so humans think we're fictional characters.

Me: Um, yes.

Sophie: You still haven't told us why the fandom is dying.

Me: Because… book seven… ended… with a cliffhanger.

Biana: What's a cliffhanger?

Me: A FANGIRL'S WORST NIGHTMARE!

Keefe: Well if we're hanging off a cliff, we can just let go and Foster will teleport us.

Me: That's not exactly what a cliffhanger is.

Sophie: A cliffhanger is an ending to an episode of a serial drama that leaves the audience in suspense.

Keefe: How do you know this?

Sophie: I used to be very into a series called Harry Potter. Most major book series have cliffhangers.

Me: Oh, did you hear the new Fantastic Beasts came out?

Sophie: OMG! *Puts on glasses and draws lightning scar* I HAVE TO GO! *Levitates* *Teleports to Forbidden Cities*

Keefe: Yes… "Used to be…"

Tam: So what's this big cliffhanger?

Me: Glitterbutt23 go away for a second.

 **Flashback Spoilers!**

Me: It ends with the words "Sophie Foster is unmatchable."

 **Spoiler ended.**

Keefe: Oh no, that would be horrible… for you.

Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "FOR ME"?

Keefe: Well we lived through this stuff. WE already know what happens. And you know we can't tell you, so don't bother asking.

Me: How rude.

Keefe: Too bad so sad.

Me: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE TELL ME!

Keefe: Well…

Sophie: Keefe don't you dare.

Keefe: *Whispers what happens in books 8/9/maybe 10 to me*

Me: OMG! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Sophie: *Hails washer dude that I forgot the name of* Can you please wash her memories?

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Washer dude that I forgot the name of: Sure!

Me: At least I achieved true happiness for about 30 seconds.

 **Woah... That's a very long chapter. Over 900 words... Wow.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Undecided13: Lol Keefe's hair. Thanks for reviewing anyway, the more reviews the better! That part was based on one of my favorite memes. And yes, sanity is the price of being a fangirl. And I only wrote this chapter because you asked, so, you're welcome!**

 **Keephie-13: Thank you! I literally CANNOT choose between Tiana and Diana. I just let the other people choose. And yessssssssssssssss, HAMILTON!**

 **Fitz/Marella:**

Fitz: Well, um-

Me: I WOULD SHIP IT, BUT DEX AND TAM BOTH DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND, SO TAM GETS MARELLA AND FITZ IS LONELY SORRY NOT SORRY FITZ!

Fitz: Um…

Marella: Ugh no I used to think he was cute but then I saw the Lodestar cover and was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Fitz: Well,

Keefe: Well I mean this wouldn't be too bad, and if Fitz had a girlfriend that would eliminate the biggest Keefoster threat, I don't know…

Fitz: I-

Sophie: No, I don't think so. Yes, Marella did like Fitz, but it was just a stupid crush, so I don't think they will end up together.

Fitz: I think-

Biana: No Marella deserves better than this idiot.

Fitz: WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE JUST LET ME TALK ALREADY!?

Glitterbutt23: Nope! Wait, A very obsessed fangirl can make him say anything! Go ahead, Fitz!

Fitz: *In a trance* I do solemnly swear to give A very obsessed fangirl all of my mallowmelt- HEY! *Snaps out of trance* Why did you make me do that?!

Me: What? I didn't do anything.

Fitz: WHY YOU LITTLE- Lord of the universe who deserves all of the mallowmelt. UGH WILL YOU JUST LET ME REACT TO THE SHIP ALREADY!

Glitterbutt23: Nope!

Fitz: Hmm, what are my most embarrassing secrets? Ooh, I know! There was that time I- WAIT WHY AM I REVEALING ALL OF MY SECRETS!?

Me: Because… I want you to?

Fitz: I THINK FITZARELLA-

Keefe: *Snorts* That sounds like a fairy princess name.

Glitterbutt23: Yeah, it does!

Fitz: I THINK FITZARELLA SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN BECAUSE THEN I'D BE A BAD MATCH!

Marella: I changed my mind, Fitzarella _should_ happen so he can be the first Vacker bad match, and then we will divorce so he can be the first Vacker match fail! Perfect solution!

Me: I like the way you think! But instead of torturing Fitz-

Glitterbutt23: -Which is still a great idea-

Me: -I think Fitz should be a councillor!

Keefe: Why?

Me: Well first of all councillors can't marry, so that would solve our little Sophitz problem, and also, Fitz's middle name, Avery, means elf counsel. And the rest of your name's meanings fit you very well, so I don't think Fitz's middle name is a coincidence.

Keefe: Really? What does my name mean?

Glitterbutt23: Handsome.

Keefe: *Grins* Perfect.

Me: Sophie, your name means wise-

Keefe: Hmm, the Wise Miss F. doesn't really have the same ring to it.

Glitterbutt23: Fitz means son of the king, Tam means twin-

Tam: Wow our parents are stupid. They wanted to disguise the fact that we were twins, and then they named me twin!

Linh: Wow that's just sad.

Me: And Linh means soul or spirit.

Linh: Ooh, that's a pretty name!

Sophie: What does your name mean?

Me: Well it means that I'm a fangirl and I am very obsessed with my fandoms.

Sophie: No, like, you're real name.

Me: Yeah I'm not telling.

Glitterbutt23: Ooh! I know! It means-

Glitterbutt23: *Turns into a potato*

Keefe: Why a potato?

Me: I don't know, it was the first thing I thought of. Now children-

Tam: We're all older than you. By several years.

Me: NOW CHILDREN, what is the moral of the story?

Keefe: Team Foster Keefe will always be cooler?

Me: Good try, but the true moral is: Never annoy a writer or she will put you in a story and turn you into a potato.

Dex: Are… you… sure... _that's_... the... moral?

Me: Do you want to become a potato?

Dex: Yes, of course it's the moral!

Me: Good. You can go now.

Tam: YAY!

Me: WAIT! MARELLA! KeefosterSokeefe says you are amazing and you belong with Dex. Okay, now you can go.

 **Okay, I REALLY want to get fifty reviews on a story, but I'm only at 36 right now, I am only planning on two more chapters, and I get about 3 reviews per chapter. It's unrealistic to hope for seven reviews each chapter, so please request ships you want them to react to and review.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Flowergirl15: Thank you! Yeah here is Dex/Linh as you requested. Happy new year!**

 **Maria: Thank you!**

 **NA: ... No comment.**

 **Dinh:**

Sophie: That could happen, if you guys didn't like other people. But I can kinda see it.

Glitterbutt23: Well I hate it.

Me: Your opinions don't matter.

Glitterbutt23: Then why am I here?

Me: Because you are my best friend and you begged me. Also I can write it so that you are an idiot and YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! HA! And I can turn you into a potato!

Glittterbutt23: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not that again.

Fitz: Back to Dinh… I ship it!

Linh: *Gags* I don't.

Dex: Ugh, who came up with that ship?

Biana: Eh, like _maybe_ that could happen, but I don't really think…

Tam: It wouldn't be the worst thing. *Cough because then Biana would be available Cough*

Keefe: I mean, _maybe._ But doubtful.

Me: And now… we can see how Wylie reacts to Dinh!

Glitterbutt23: *Hails Wylie*

Me: You thought you were rid of me forever… but I'LL BE BACK! SOON YOU'LL SEE!

Wylie: Why are you singing songs about the American revolution?

Glitterbutt23: Well why _shouldn't_ we sing songs about the American revolution?

Wylie: *Sighs* Can we just get this over with?

Me: Well… maybe… but I just _love_ torturing fictional characters…

Linh: Guys, please, he doesn't want to-

Glitterbutt23: Of _course_ he wants to answer our questions. Who doesn't?

Tam, Wylie, and Fitz: *Raises hand*

Me: They hate us. Get used to it. So what do you think of Dinh?

Wylie: The ship name sucks and the ship is worse. But it's still not as bad as... Finh! Now can I leave and _actually_ never come back?

Me: Well… I'm not sure… you'll have to come back if I write about Solinh or Linhiana or Leefe…

Glitterbutt23: Or maybe we'll just drag you back for the fun of it…

Me: But you can leave for now…

Glitterbutt23: But…

Me and Glitterbutt23: YOU'LL BE BACK! SOON YOU'LL SEE!

Wylie: Just kill me now.

Neverseen: *Shows up*

Neverseen: If you insist.

Dex: WHY DO YOU KEEP INVITING THESE PEOPLE?!

Me: So I can turn them into a potato! *Snaps fingers*

Neverseen: *Turns into potato*

Keefe: WE SPENT SO LONG FIGHTING THE NEVERSEEN AND WE COULD HAVE JUST TURNED THEM INTO A POTATO?!

 **HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLES!**

 **And also please review. I NEED NINE MORE... and including this, I have three more chapters... I have an average of three reviews per chapter... OMG I COULD GET 50 REVIEWS ON THIS STORY! IT'S NOT JUST ONE OF THOSE RANDOM GOALS I WILL NEVER ACHIEVE!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Guest: Maybe... I wrote one but it was awful, so I probably won't do Solinh. This chapter is Tam/Marella. And thank you!**

 **Gracie: Thank you! Wait, is it the _only_ thing you've read all month?**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you! And also this chapter has a lot of Hamilton, so, YAY!**

 **Flowergirl15: Yes Keefe is amazing. YES HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER! Thank you!**

 **Tam/Marella:**

Marella: I like that ship.

Tam: Surprisingly enough, this is not a completely horrible ship, unlike most of the ships we were forced to react to.

Linh: He likes brunettes.

Dex: Yeah but the only brunette in our group is taken *Cough* by me *Cough*

Tam: I can still kill you. With my eighteenth century dueling pistols.

Glitterbutt23: What's your name, man?

Tam: Uh, Tam?

Me: Wrong!

All: ALEXANDER HAMILTON! MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON! And there's a million things I haven't done, but just you WAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Marella: Um, shouldn't we be discussing the ship?

Glitterbutt23: Nah, I'd rather sing Hamilton.

Fitz: I HATE THIS SHIP BECAUSE REASONS.

Me: No I actually think this would be a good ship. They both have abilities that make them misunderstood, I doubt Tam cares about being a bad match, and they both liked a Vacker at some point.

Tam: Hmm, for once what you are saying even remotely makes sense.

Biana: Wait where are Sophie, Keefe, Wylie, and Linh?

Glitterbutt23: They left us to go on a double date. HOW DARE THEY!?

Dex: Wait why can't Biana and I go on a date?

Me: Because then we would only have Fitz, Marella, and Tam and that wouldn't be very fun.

Tam: But what if Mare and I went on a date?

Marella: NO NICKNAMES!

Tam: Sorry. What if Marella and I went on a date?

Marella: HOLD ON ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT?

Tam: Um, yes?

Marella: Yeah lets go.

Tam/Marella: *Leaves*

Biana: WHY DO THEY GET TO GO ON A DATE? WE ASKED FIRST!

Dex: Wait why do we need her permission?

Glitterbutt23: Because she is a writer and she controls everything we do. Like turn us into potatoes.

Dex: I have a plan.

Biana: Are you going to create a super awesome gadget?

Dex: No. My plan is simpler than that.

Biana: Then what are you going to do?

Dex: I'm not throwing away my shot, I am not throwing away my shot.

Glitterbutt23 and Me: I AM JUST LIKE MY COUNTRY, I'M YOUNG SCRAPPY AND HUNGRY, AND I'M NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!

Dex and Biana: *Sneak away*

Me: HEY WHERE DID THEY GO!?

Glitterbutt23: Well… looks like it's just you and us, Fitzy boy.

Me: Hmm… what should we do now?

 **LATER…**

Fitz: HEY LET ME DOWN!

Glitterbutt23: Nope!

Me: Bye chandelier head!

 **Please! I need 5 reviews! Pretty please! Only five! It's not that hard to type "Great story!" and hit a button! You can do it!**

 **UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I have to go to school tomorrow! (SOB). I'm so depressed. You know, I might feel better if I get some reviews... Please?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Undecided13: YES YOU ARE! I HAVE FIFTY REVIEWS! (Fifty one, but one is just insulting Keefoster so I'm gonna delete it.) And yeah, sorry, I just like torturing characters and Fitz is the best option. I don't really hate him THAT much, though. I'll let them know you support them.**

 **BigKeefosterFan: Thank you! I'm so sorry… two of my friends are Keefoster, one is Sophitz, and one is formerly Keefoster but now Sophitz. Maybe…**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you and I HATE SCHOOL!**

 **Coco: Go read a Sophitz story, and don't insult my story just because you don't like my ship.**

 **Lalala: Ok. Thank you!**

 **I**

 **GOT**

 **FIFTY**

 **REVIEWS**

 **!**

 **I'm sure all the authors who get like 500 per chapter are saying "SO?"**

 **BUT I FEEL ACCOMPLISHED!**

 **I was going to write the last chapter, but you guys kept begging me, so…**

 **Keefitz!**

Keefe: *bursts out laughing*

Keefe: No one actually expects this to happen, right?

Keefe: No way I would date *Gestures to Fitz* THAT.

Fitz: Wait I am a "That" to you?

Keefe: Trust me that was a compliment.

Fitz: NO ONE LIKES ME!

Me: Well we liked you until Flashback.

Fitz: Does anyone still like me?

Me: Actually a fellow author, Undecided13, says that she loves you, Keefe, Tam, and Dex. So to be nice to her **(You're welcome!)** I will make you a deal. No mentioning Sophitz, and I'll be nice. Got it?

Fitz: Deal.

Biana: Okay so ummmmmm Keefitz.

Tam: It's… _interesting._ And not in a good way.

Biana: Nooooooooooooooo not Keefitz.

Dex: Better than FedEx, but still. Not good.

Me: Actually FedEx isn't bad at all. I kinda like it.

All: *Stares at me*

Me: You know what, off topic, back to Keefitz, blah blah blah.

Linh: I think Keefitz, if they ever got together, would sink. Very, VERY badly.

Me: Hmm, I can't torture Fitz this chapter… who should I torture?

Glitterbutt23: Torture Fitz!

Me: NO, Glitterbutt23. Ooh, I know! Keefe... *Evil laugh*

Keefe: Not the Hair, not the Hair, anything but the Hair.

Me: Would you rather…

Fitz: This is not going to end well-

Tam: -For you. It's going to be great for us! *Starts eating popcorn*

Me: Keefitz or Teefe?

Keefe: Secret option #3: Keefoster!

Me: Nope!

Keefe: Secret option #4: Single.

Glitterbutt23: Nuh- uh.

Keefe: Secret option #5: Death?

Me: Keefitz or Teefe? No secret options!

Keefe: Obvious option #3: OR!

Me: Keefe. Answer. Now. Or… *Dramatic music* THE AUTHOR POWERS!

Keefe: *Whimpers* I choose Keefitz.

Me: Explain why.

Tam: You sound like a teacher.

Me: Okay, class dismissed. Your homework is to review my story. If you don't do your homework you fail the class.

 **PLEASE REVIEW! And tell me- which would you rather I write, Linhinana, Solinh, or both? If- WHEN you review, please tell me which you want. And still, just request ships you want me to write.**

 **And also do you think 75 reviews is realistic, considering I get 3-4 reviews per chapter? Tell me IN THE REVIEWS what you think a realistic goal is.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Wow. So. Many. Reviews. You guys are the best. Well, second best. After me of course. Wait, third best. After me and Keefe.**

 **WritingLover21: Thank you!**

 **BigKeefosterFan: Thank you! Yeah, I'll probably do both, so I can get more chapters, so I can get more reviews! I'm writing a chapter where the parents react, so yes you will get to see overprotective Grady. And ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Flashback killed me. Very painfully.**

 **Lalala: As I said before, I'll do both because I want more reviews. I'll put in your messages, except the one for Tam becasue spoilers. And I totally agree with everything you said except Keefe is my favorite instead of Linh.**

 **Flowergirl15: Great idea! *Frantically searches "Possible KOTLC ships"* Yeah Keefe is the greatest… WHY CAN'T YOU REALIZE THAT SOPHIE?! *Deep breath* I'm okay. I'm okay.**

 **DangerousPie1: Yes the HAIR. And KEEFE KEEFE KEEFE (In silveny mode). I wrote a chapter on the parents like you asked but I'm not posting it yet. You're welcome.**

 **Undecided13: Well I won't complain if you do that… I think it's completely fair. You're welcome. I think Keefe is hilarious in every chapter… but I'm the one writing it so I might be biased. Aldina is actually a pretty good idea, thanks! And that's okay, long reviews are awesome reviews!**

 **Keephie13: I'm so sorry, I'm in the exact same predictment. I'm writing both, and thank you so much.**

 **Wow that was a long author's note. I think it's longer than the Sophitz chapter. So, naturally, right now I'm making it even longer.**

 **Linhiana:**

Linh: Okay um…

Biana: Well it's not bad ship…

Linh and Biana: I'm just not into you that way.

Me: OMG, they're talking at the same time! LINHIANA!

Glitterbutt23: You… YOU DON'T EVEN SHIP THEM YOU IDIOT.

Me: Oh yeah.

Keefe: Okay, the ship name kinda sucks. Like Keefoster just sounds perfect… but Linhiana…

Sophie: Yeah not the greatest ship name, but Linh and Biana are two names that just don't go together well.

Dex: Um… Liana?

Tam: That sounds okay, but…

Keefe: Binh.

Glitterbutt23: BINH! IT SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL!

Me: It does not, you idiot.

Glitterbutt23: She.. she called me an idiot…

Glitterbutt23: I thought I was a _moron_ …

Glitterbutt23: MY LIFE IS A LIE!

Me: *Sighs* Ooh, this is a Linh ship!

Dex: You just realized.

Me: That means…

Linh: Oh no. A very obsessed fangirl, please-

Me: I GET TO INVITE WYLIE!

Linh: Invite Wylie or force him to come?

Me: Uh… invite him and if he refuses, THEN force him to come.

Tam: You mean WHEN he refuses, right?

Me: Yes that is exactly what I mean!

Wylie: UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH did you choose a Linh ship just to torture me?

Me: … Maybe?

Wylie: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay can I just react quickly so I can go as soon as possible?

Glitterbutt23: No.

Wylie: Why do you like torturing me so much.

Me: It's not torture. _Veeeeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy_ deep down, you think it's fun!

Wylie: I really don't.

Me: Okay, um, lets see if this makes you like it better. Linh, Lalala says that you are the best charater in the history of KOTLC! So, Wylie, you and Lalala both have something in common, you think Linh is awesome. Lalala likes the story, therefore you should.

Wylie: Your reasoning is not reasonable. So Linhiana… yeah I don't like it. And for future reference, any Linh ship that is not Lylie I hate. So now you don't have to make me come to get my opinion.

Me: Oh, I already knew that. I make you come because it's fun.

Wylie: *Light leaps away*

Me: Okay… Glitterbutt23, would you like to deliver Lalala's messages? I'm going to go mourn my loss.

Biana: What loss?

Me: Oh, well technically it's an unfortunate gain… I have a lot of math homework this weekend.

Glitterbutt23: Of course I will deliver the messages! Um, what do they say?

Tam: *Facepalms*

Me: Wait omg I just realized… Fitz isn't here! Quick someone come up with a good excuse, fast!

Keefe: He's sick!

Linh: He's practicing telepathy!

Dex: He left to go read a Sophitz story.

Me: Oh, he's looking for a Sophitz story? Tell him he should read "Team Foster-Keefe will always be cooler" by _moi!_ **(Self promotion)**

Sophie: Um, isn't that a Keefoster story?

Me: Oh, well he should still read it.

Glitterbuut23: Okay, I read the messages! She said to tell Fitz… oh, he isn't here.

Biana: I'll tell him.

Glitterbutt23: She says Fitz is the second worst non-Neverseen character, after Lord Cassius.

Keefe: That is the truest thing I have ever heard.

Glitterbutt23: Keefe, she says you are awesome and you and Sophie belong together.

Keefe: That is even truer than the truest thing I have ever heard.

Sophie: Keefe that isn't possible.

Keefe: That is the falsest thing I have ever heard!

 **Did you like it? Never mind, of course you did. PLEASE REVIEW, my new goal is 75 and I currently have 58! If you review my story I'll review one of your stories and make my friends read them! And if you don't have any stories, I'll tell you how awesome you are next chapter! So you should review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Random question for fellow Hamilton fans: Can anyone else picture Marella singing "Burn" if she ever got dumped?**

 **Undecided13: I've already reviewed to the one shots… and No one… I need to review to your third story. And I've already told Glitterbutt23 to read them. I FINISHED THE HOMEWORK! Well no, actually I still have like 3 problems left. Procrastination rules! Thank you.**

 **Lalala: Thank you! Um… maybe I'll do Sobiana, idk.**

 **BigKeefosterFan: YES! RO IS AWESOME! GO RO! GO RO! And ugh flashback. Makes me glad I hadn't eaten much the day I read it. And I actually think Keefoster will be victorious in the end, Don't lose hope! Be an optimist!**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you!**

 **Keephie13: Yes, I kinda feel bad about torturing Wylie, but it's just so fun…**

 **KitKat: I was already going to do a parents and an Aldina. Thank you for all of the suggestions! (More chapters… more REVIEWS!)**

 **Lylie4theWinh: Thank you!**

 **EyesThatSearchInDarkness: Yeah this chapter is Solinh. (People keep requesting ships and then the next chapter is that ship… it's weird)**

 **Dear Universe: OMG I LOVE YOUR WRITING PLEASE UPDATE SOON! *Deep breath* Wow, you're one of my favorite authors on fanfiction. I CANNOT believe you read and reviewed my story. Wow. I did the weird fangirl squeal when I saw you had reviewed. Wow, you came up with "Ship it like Fedex"? And acutally it was** _ **your**_ **Detz story. Speaking of "More than meets the eye"... I LOVE IT WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING MY STORY?! GO! UPDATE! MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE! NOW!**

 **Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I might actually get 75 this chapter! 6! MORE! REVIEWS! And then… I try for 100. You guys think I can do it?**

 **Solinh:**

Me: I ship Keefoster so hard and I ship Lylie so hard but for some reason I really like Solinh stories.

Dex: Um, can you maybe let US react?

Me: Nah.

Tam: Well this is a story where KOTLC characters react to ships. You are not a KOTLC character. Therefore you may not react to ships.

Me: :( … WELL MAYBE I'M REALLY RO DISGUISED AS A HUMAN GIRL! **(I sorta have Ro's personality)**

Ro: No you're not.

Me: Maybe… I'm… a… side… character… who hasn't been mentioned yet?

Tam: Okay… um… YOU SHOULD GO GET WYLIE AND LEAVE US ALONE!

Me: Okay!

Linh: It's going to be a looooooooooooooong time before she comes back.

Tam: Good. Now, Solinh. React! GO!

Sophie: Okay so uh… no.

Linh: I'm sorry but I like Wylie.

Sophie: You don't need to apologize! You and Wylie are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute together!

Tam: I think the fangirl-ness is contagious.

Dex: You think?

Biana: LYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Tam: It definitly is.

Dex: Okay, um, guys, back to Solinh… I don't really like it. But I'm not against it either.

Keefe: NO I CANNOT LOOSE MY FOSTER! And waaaaaaaiiit… If Solinh happens… and they get married… FOSTER WILL BE RELATED TO BANGS BOY!

Tam: Keefe, calm down.

Biana: At least it's better than Tophie!

Fitz: Eh, Solinh's okay.

Me: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! With Wylie!

Wylie: You know I hate you, right?

Me: Blame the people who asked for Solinh!

Wylie: Yeah, Solinh, I hate it, can I leave now?

Me: You can…

Wylie: YES!

Me: But then…

Wylie: What?

Me: You won't have… MALLOWMELT!

Wylie: Hmm, I hate you but I love mallowmelt… decisions, decisions…

Linh: You should stay because you hate her but you love mallowmelt AND you love me!

Wylie: ...Okay.

Me: *GASP* WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE IS THE REAL WYLIE ENDAL?!

Wylie: *Steals mallowmelt, grabs Linh's hand, and light leaps away*

Me: :(

Glitterbutt23: Hey guys! What are we reacting to today?

Me: Glitterbutt23?

Glitterbutt23: Yes?

Me: The react is over.

All: *Leave*

Glitterbutt23: Wait what?

 **Remember what I said… 6 MORE REVIEWS! COME ON PEOPLE! MAKE ME HAPPY!**

 **And also I apologize in advance for any errors, I did not have time to proofread.**

 **R**

 **E**

 **V**

 **I  
E  
W  
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! **


	19. Chapter 19

**Flowergirl15: Ugh, it's awful when people do that. I would never make the characters homophobic. Oh, whoops. Uh, maybe it's been a few years and I just didn't tell you? Thank you. Yes, I love talking to the characters even though some of them hate me and they all think I'm insane. I answered your question about Tam through private messaging.**

 **Cressdia123: I totally forgive you for not reviewing! Nice Hamilton reference, and you shouldn't choose because you won't be upset either way. Yeah FedEx is okay. I'm sorry, my mind has already been erased. (SOB). UGH FITZ AND MATCHMAKING! I totally did hear something, because I think the same thing! Potato potato potato! And Wylie is soooooooooo fun! Don't worry, Tam won't kill you. (He'll go after Glitterbutt23 first.) It's okay, I can punch them. Thanks for offering! Sorry about Fitz (I'll add more torture later). And NO THE POTATO CANNOT COME BETWEEN KEEFE AND SOPHIE! I should do that to Wylie, thanks! But sadly we might be done with the Linh ships. I think Linhiana's cute, but I don't ship it. Sorry, I lied. I'm not an elf (as far as I know). And wow I read that I don't have to answer all that after I typed most of this and I don't want to delete it. (159 words).**

 **Keephie13: Yeah lol. And I should add more Ro, thanks!**

 **Glitterbutt23: GO WRITE SOMETHING YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT! And YOU are my 75th review! You win… me letting you read Flashback.**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you! YES I LOVE MALLOWMELT! And Wylie DID admit that! (Waves "LYLIE FOR THE WINH" flag)**

 **Lylie4theWinh: Thank you! Yes she will burn the guy, lol. And you WILL contribute to the 100 reviews. I command you.**

 **KitKat: Thank you! And sorry… you're the 78th. But I'm still glad you reviewed!**

 **Lalala: Thank you! And you gotta OWN your insanity!**

 **Guest: Thank you, and I'm going to.**

 **Guest: Maybe… I'm definitly doing Dex/Stina.**

 **Lylie4theWinh: Yep.**

 **KitKat: Thank you… okay!**

 **Guest: Yeah thanks.**

 **Guest: Maybe…**

 **Guest: You are absolutely right!**

 **Reviewer: That is… you are an awful person. I am deleting your review and I do NOT tolerate homophobia.**

 **89 reviews… well 88 because I'm deleting the homophobic statement. Wow, thanks guys!**

 **Wow, this was almost 400 words… they keep getting longer.**

 **Greyveny!**

Keefe: I think it should be Greybutt. Ooh, or Glitterfall!

Me: GLITTERFALL! GLITTERFALL!

Sophie: I'm glad Silveny's happy and I'm glad Luna and Wynn were born, but them _playing_ …

Keefe: *GASP* WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THIS!

Sophie: You told me not to. I never agreed.

Glitterbutt23: Yeah Greyveny!

Me: It's Glitterfall.

Glitterbutt23: Yeah Glitterfall!

Sophie: Where are the others?

Me: They didn't come. You're here to translate what the alicorns say, and Keefe is here because he's awesome.

Silveny: KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE!

Greyfall: Hi. *****

Sophie: How are Luna and Wynn?

Me: LUNA FOR THE WYNN!

All: *Stare at me.*

Me: Sorry, couldn't resist.

Greyfall: They're doing well, thanks. *****

Silveny: BABY OKAY! BABY OKAY!

Keefe: So what do you guys think of Glitterfall?

Silveny: GLITTERFALL! GLITTERFALL! GLITTERFALL!

Glitterbutt23: Do you even know what that is?

Greyfall: We have no idea. *****

Me: It's the ship name for you two. Like, a couple name.

Silveny: GLITTTERFALL! GLITTERFALL! GLITTERFALL! LIKE GLITTERFALL!

Greyfall: I also like Glitterfall. *****

Me: We all do!

Silveny: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

 ***In alicorn language, translated by Sophie.**

 **Please review... I need 12 more to reach 100. I don't expect to get there this chapter... but maybe next chapter... Two things about reviews:**

 **1) If you are a guest, please give yourself a name. When I respond to the review I want you to actually know when I'm talking to you.**

 **2) No ship bashing and NO racist, sexist, or homophobic statements.**

 **Well that's all. I hope you liked the chapter and please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Wow… I got two whole reviews within one hour of the story being up. Thanks guys! And I now have 3000 views!**

 **Lylie4theWinh: Thank you! Yeah I'll do that EVENTUALLY. Just… not yet. And I'm doing a Dex/Stina. (Ew… Stinex). And yeah, Stina/Valin is okay, but what's better is… Stina and Iggy fart.**

 **I am weird: Thank you! It was kind of inspired by my friend (The Sophitz shipper… ugh). And maybe… but I don't even know what my stuffed animal ships are so… probably not…**

 **KitKat: If you review 4 times, I definitly will… but yeah I actually think I can reach 100. Which is INSANE. And AWESOME. And of course I will have a lot more chapters.**

 **Keephie-13: Yeah the alicorns RULE. Sophie totally is soooooooooo lucky, and would totally trade places with her if I had the chance. Thank you. WHY DO YOU WRITE LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME? WRITE DAY AND NIGHT LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME- okay, I'll stop.**

 **Undecided13: OMG! I had like, the exact same mental picture. Glitterbutt23 did too. We had an in-depth discussion about glitterfalls at lunch. (Wow we're weird.) Thank you so much. FYI, I reviewed on all three of your stories now.**

 **Lylie4theWinh: I will. :) Nice Hamilton reference. But as the Forklenator would say, "You kids have to be patient."**

 **Guest(L): Yeah… you don't HAVE to, but when I respond to your review you'll be able to tell which one is yours. Thank you! And it's not at all strange that you ship them, I sort of do too.**

 **DangerousPie1: Thanks! Luna for the Wynn!**

 **And now, the next ship!**

 **Stinex!**

Dex: Ew, no.

Me: That's… a very disturbing ship.

Keefe: Blech.

Sophie: Noo…

Biana: NO! NO ONE EXCEPT ME CAN HAVE DEX, BUT ESPECIALLY NOT STINA!

Tam: No.

Linh: If that's what they want I won't stop them… but ew no.

Fitz: Ewww…

Glitterbutt23: Wow even Fitz hates it. The ship has to be _really_ bad for that to happen.

Me: Like, worse than Beefe. Which he ships. Ew.

Keefe: Don't even MENTION Beefe.

Sophie: We can't take any more disgustingness.

Stina: *Arrives* Ugh, why are THEY here? And who are you people?

Me: I am your master and I control you. And can I just say how much I hate you?

Glitterbutt23: I'm her friend. And also a moron- WAIT WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME SAY THAT?!

Me: I am not sorry.

Stina: Okaaaaaaaaaay… wait, what's Stinex?

Glitterbutt23: Well have you ever heard of ship names?

Stina: No.

Me: When two people are a couple, their names are combined to form a ship name. Stinex is a ship name for-

Stina: Oh no. No. NONONONONONO.

Glitterbutt23: Yep. Stina and Dex.

Stina: EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW NO!

Me: We all hate it. **(I actually was going to stop here… until I realized how short it was.)**

Glitterbutt23: What's an alternate Stina ship?

Me: Stina/Alicorn poo!

Silveny **(I always think of Silveny as Glitter Butt... so I initially wrote Glitterbutt23 instead of Silveny. VERY glad I caught that!)** (As translated by Sophie): Hey don't do that to my poo! It's SPARKLY and _far_ too precious for HER!

Glitterbutt23: Okay… how about…

Sophie: Stina and a gulon!

Keefe: Hey, gulons are awesome! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too good for Stina!

Me: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE GREAT GULON INCIDENT IS! I want to read the Great Gulon Incident short story! I want to read book 8. I want Shannon to have some ability where she can write super fast!

Glitterbutt23: Well you can't get everything you want in life. That's why Keephie hasn't happened yet.

Me: Sadly. BUT IT WILL! I could go on listing my reasons forever and ever and ever and ever- but I won't. **(Forever… and ever… and ever and ever and ever… you'll be back! Soon you'll see!)**

Linh: Guys I'm sure Shannon Messenger is doing the best she can. Calm down.

Glitterbutt23: I don't think we have the ability to be calm.

Dex: Back to alternate Stina ships…

Keefe: Ooh, I know! Stina with Valin!

Biana: Perfect.

Keefe: Or even better... Stina and Iggy fart.

Sophie: THAT one is TRUE perfection.

 **I**

 **Need**

 **Four**

 **More**

 **Reviews.**

 **Only four.**

 **To reach 100.**

 **Please, guys?**

 **Pretty please with mallowmelt on top?**


	21. Chapter 21

**I**

 **I did**

 **I did it.**

 **I got over 100 reviews.**

 **Wow.**

 **If someone told me a month ago that I would get 100 reviews on a story, I would tell them to go to a mental hospital.**

 **Thank you so, _so_ much, guys.**

 **DangerousPie1:** **Stiggy fart for life! Thank you! And tell me- what's the difference between a maniac and a fangirl?**

 **Keephie-13: Thank you! Yeah, that's part of my reasoning for Keefoster. And I think she did!**

 **GirlOfManyFloods: Thank you, thank you, thank you, and yes, you were! You win… well what do you want?**

 **Undecided13: Thank you! You totally should make goals for reviews. Ooh, you're really close. I promise I'll review a lot. And weird minds are the great ones, obviously.**

 **Flowergirl15: Yeah I'm not really sure if anyone ships Stinex. Ugh. And actually three more, since you reviewed. Or by the time I post this… even less. Or maybe none? Thank you for reviewing and for your encouragement. (I wrote this when I was at 97 and was too lazy to change it.)**

 **Aldina:**

Alina: Why am I here? I could be doing much better things! Like looking at my reflection!

Me: … What do you think of the ship Alden/Alina?

Alina: Me likes ship! **(Bad grammar intentional, because I want to write Alina as** _ **really**_ **stupid. Ugh I hate her.)**

Me: But then you can't be councillor!

Alina: Me no likes ship!

Alden: No reason to worry, this ship will never happen.

Della: AIHWAEFOIUSPRT#&(DSFER$WERVBHNHTYF! **(Me punching my computer)** I HATE THIS SHIP!

Me: Do know what another ship name could be?

Alden: No, what?

Glitterbutt23: Alien.

Me: Hey Glitterbutt23?

Glitterbutt23: What?

Me: Where are the other characters?

Glitterbutt23: Oh yeah them. They're eating mallowmelt.

Me: EATING MALLOWMELT?! WITHOUT ME! *Magically disappears*

Glitterbutt23: *Magically disappears with me*

Alden: I'm sure they'll be back soon, no reason to worry.

Me and Glitterbutt23: YOU'LL BE BACK! SOON YOU'LL SEE!

Me: HOW DARE YOU EAT MALLOWMELT WITHOUT ME!

Glitterbutt23: And me!

Keefe: Uh… IT WAS FITZ'S IDEA!

Fitz: It was not!

Keefe: Fine. IT WAS TAM'S IDEA!

Me: It doesn't matter who's idea it was. All of you will be punished. But this next ship is probably bad enough to sufficiently punish you. I am going to eat some mallowmelt and then you will react to… ALDINA.

Fitz: Whhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Biana: NO NOT ALDINA!

Sophie: THAT IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE… *Thinks* THIRD WORST SHIP! After Sovalin and Fitzphie.

ME: *Eats mallowmelt* I'll talk to you later, the adults are probably getting worried.

Glitterbutt23: Well everyone but Alden.

Us: *Returns* WE'LL BE BACK! SOON YOU'LL SEE!

Glitterbutt23: Does anyone know the real reason Alden dumped Alina?

Della: Tell us!

Me: So they were a "happy" couple until Alina told Alden that there was a reason to worry and Alden dumped her.

Alden: Hey, I'm not THAT obsessed with "No reason to worry"!

Glitterbutt23: _Suuuuuuuuuuuuurre_ …

Alden: Okay, okay, I'm obsessed.

Me: Hey there's nothing wrong with being obsessed! Being obsessed is awesome! Now, back to the other characters!

Me and Glitterbutt23: *Leaves*

Me: Hi guys, so, back to Aldina.

Fitz: If that happened Biana and I wouldn't be born.

Me: Hmm, so if Aldina happened Alvar wouldn't be born, which is good, Biana wouldn't be born, which is bad, and Fitz wouldn't be born, which, as much as I hate him, would be bad.

Keefe: I think we all hate this ship, so…

Dex: Yeah we don't really need to say we do.

Sophie: Literally no one ships it. And if they do… I will hit them with my full inflicting power.

 **Yeah guys! Don't ship Aldina! I doubt any of you actually do anyway!**

 **I honestly don't care if you guys review, I have 105 and that's enough.**

 **Wow. I'm still in shock.**


	22. Chapter 22

**DangerousPie1: There is no difference. And I don't like Fitz either, but he was the one who found Sophie, and Sophie and Keefe became close through Fitz, so I guess he's useful.**

 **GirlOfManyFloods: Thank you! AND NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE MALLOWMELT ANYTHING BUT THE MALLOWMELT! And ohhhh, I was wondering where Lylie4theWinh went.**

 **L: Thank you! Yeah I loved stupid Alina! Thankfully, no one does. Hmm, that probably will change.**

 **Guest: Um… cool. And yeah… Stinex sucks. Cool! And what do you mean, MAY? Keefoster WILL prevail!**

 **Keephie-13: Lol. I can't turn Alden human and make him stalk you, but in every response to your review I will say "No reason to worry." Then you can read my story whenever you're worried! And you have to review if you want me to say it! Though you will probably review anyway. Ugh yeah I hate Alina.**

 **Totally Keephie: Thank you! Based on your name, you're probably a nice person too!**

 **The council reacting to some ships! Lets just pretend that this is some alternate universe where Kenric is *SPOILERS* still alive. And I'm only with Bronte, Kenric, Oralie, and Emery.**

Me: Hi everyone!

Bronte: WHAT IS THIS STUPID LITTLE GIRL-

Me: OOH, your ears are pointy! Can I touch the points?!

Bronte: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Me: Okay, we're here to discuss ships!

Emery: What, like the Titanic?

Me: NO! A ship is like a couple! They have ship names that are a combination of the two names! For example, KORALIE!

Kenric: *Blushes*

Oralie: *Blushes more*

Me: Oh, everyone thinks you should just leave the council and get married because you're so obviously in love.

Oralie: *Blushes even more*

Me: Our first ship we are discussing is… Bronte, can you do a drumroll?

Bronte: OF COURSE NOT!

Me: Well I think you should be nice to me, because I know all of your secrets.

Bronte: You're bluffing.

Me: Oh really? Well then anything I tell the council about when Sophie tried to inflict happiness on you probably won't be real, right?

Bronte: *Pales* I'll do the drumroll.

Me: Our first ship we are discussing is…

Bronte: *Drumroll*

Me: KEEFOSTER!

Kenric: Oh, I totally ship them!

Oralie: Really? Me too! They're just meant to be…

Bronte: Why do we care about teenage relationships?

Me: *Glares at him*

Bronte: Oh, I totally ship them!

Terik: I think that their relationship has a lot of potential… I would know.

Emery: Terik I don't think your ability as a descryer makes you able to sense potential in relationships.

Terik: OF COURSE IT DOES, DON'T QUESTION MY DESCRYING!

Alina: Well-

Me: HEY! KENRIC'S ALIVE IN THIS! YOU'RE NOT A COUNCILLOR! GO BACK TO FOXFIRE! FYI, I think Keefe put a gulon in your office.

Emery: Quite honestly I don't care about Miss Foster's love life.

Kenric: I think telepaths and empaths are good together.

Oralie: …

Kenric: As like, a general statement, I didn't have any specific people in mind. *Not so subtly glances at Oralie.*

Me: OMG KORALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *Squeals*

Bronte: *Looks at me like I'm mentally damaged (which I am)*

Me: Um, our second ship is LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Bronte: Um, who are they?

Me: Linh and Wylie.

Oralie: I know who Wylie is... but who's Linh?

Kenric: Wait, I think I remember her. She was the girl who flooded Atlantis.

Oralie: Oh yeah. But isn't she in Exillium?

Me: Uh, never mind, now we're reacting to... DIANA!

Emery: Is that Biana Vacker and Dex Dizznee?

Me: Yep.

Terik: But don't they hate each other?

Me: For now...

Oralie: Do you ship them?

Me: Kinda, but I'm leaning towards Tiana- wait you don't know Tam. Uh, yeah, I ship them.

Glitterbutt23: I SHIP DIANA!

Me: HOW DID YOU EVEN GET HERE?!

Glitterbutt23: Author powers. I wrote that one chapter... which you still haven't published, how rude.

Me: BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN ME THE PAPER, YOU IDIOT!

Kenric: Um, who is this?

Me: Oh, the weird idiot? She's my best friend. And now, we will react to my worst nightmare.

Terik: Which is?

Me: Sophitz!

Oralie: Um, well it's entirely up to Sophie who she wants to marry, but-

Kenric: NO NEVER!

Oralie: Yeah that's basically what I was thinking.

Terik: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…

Bronte: I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT SOPHIE'S LOVE LIFE AND I HATE THIS SHIP!

Emery: I ship it.

Mr. Forkle: And that, people, is why our council sucks.

 **Rest in peace, Kenric!**

 **And please review? I'm going for 150 now. I think that's realistic, because of how many chapters I have coming. I'll probably need 7-8 chapters to get 150. Yay, (at least) 7-8 more chapters!**


	23. Chapter 23

**GirlOfManyFloods: Thank you! And if you review this chapter 33 times, I will have already achieved it! :( that's sad. I think banning someone from fanfiction is a horrible crime, but...**

 **Cressida123: Thanks! It's fine if you kill someone for 100 reviews, just... don't kill me. *Shoves GB23 in front of me* TAKE HER! The main reason I update so quickly is I've already written the next, like, 5 chapters, cause I had nothing else to do over winter break. STIGGY FART! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KENRIC! And yeah, I hate Emery, mostly because of the ability restrictor.**

 **DangerousPie1: Uhh, because he's an idiot? AND NO KORALIE! I was gonna write a Koralie chapter, but I kept writing "NOOOOOOOO KENRIC! NOOOOOOOOO KORALIE!", so I decided against it.**

 **Keephie-13: Yay more reviews! There is no reason to worry... And Koralie...**

 **My parents- Why are you on the floor screaming "KENRIC!"**

 **Me- Fangirl reasons.**

 **L: Um, that's kind of sad... Thank you! Booooooooooo everyone on the council except Bronte, Oralie, Terik, and Kenric!**

 **Undecided13: That's fine! And wow, you reviewed my story at the same time I reviewed your story (Caught in Between)! Yeah I think that was probably my best chapter. Thank you so much!**

 **And now, the bodyguards (Sandor, Grizel, Bo, and Ro) shall react to... THE SHIPS!**

Sandor: Can I leave? I have to go protect Miss Foster.

Me: Oh, she's perfectly safe. This is my story. I won't let any harm come to Sophie.

Fitz: *Screams in background*

Me: Fitz, however… don't worry, he's not seriously injured. And now we shall react to ships! First up is Keefsoter!

Ro: YEAH TEAM FOSTER KEEFE WILL RULE!

Bo: Why do we care?

Grizel: Yeah I ship it. But shh don't tell Fitz.

Me: HEY FITZ!

Grizel: I. Will. Kill. You.

Fitz: What?

Grizel: *Draws sword* Think very carefully about what you say.

Me: *Whimpers* Your bodyguard is scary.

Fitz: I know, right?

Sophie: Wait Fitz is afraid of Grizel?

Fitz: NO! I HAVE NO FEARS!

Me: Really? Well I'm holding Mr. Snuggles hostage...

Fitz: NO NOT MR SNUGGLES!

Me: Oh wait no I'm not. Never mind. Back to the ships! And, because I don't feel like making you react to the other normal ships, you will react to bodyguard ships!

Ro: WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

Me: Cause it's fun! First up...

Sandor: *Whispering* Please not Sandel, Please not Sandel-

Me: Sandel/Grandor!

Sandor: *Groans*

All except Sandor and Bo: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO CUTE!

Grizel and Sandor: *Blushing. Very, VERY much.*

Me: When is Sandor going to do the dancing?

Sandor: Can I leave now?

Me: Ok. But then you'll miss… BORO!

Sandor: Fine by me. *Leaves*

Grizel: *Leaves*

Me: Wha- but- why- what- don't- Anyway, time for BoRo!

Ro: I hate this ship.

Bo: I hate this ship more.

Ro: WELL I HATE THIS SHIP MOST!

Me: Yeah… It's not a very good ship. But I love the ship name.

Bo: This girl is really annoying.

Ro: I might like her… DO YOU SHIP KEEFOSTER?

Me: Of course! Duh, have you read the other chapters?

Ro: No.

Me: Well I'm veeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry Keefoster and very anti-Sophitz.

Ro: I like this girl!

Me: Ro likes me... *Faints*

Ro: Is she okay?

Everyone in the entire universe: Nope.

 **I am most definitely NOT okay, so you must review!**

 **Keefe: Fix me, Foster. You're my only hope.**

 **Me: Fix me, reviewers. You're my only hope.**

 **But reviews are NOT the only thing that can fix me! Favorites and followers can fix me too!**

 **But reviews are most important!**

 **But I also like follows and favorites!**

 **But I like reviews most!**

 **I'll shut up now...**


	24. Chapter 24

**LOL OP: Thank you so much! It's really great that a SOPHITZ shipper likes this! And out of curiosity... how would I convert you to Keefoster?**

 **GirlOfManyFloods: Of... course... I... don't... yeah... though half the time I'm checking to see if I got more reviews. Thank you! Definitely, Ro's awesome! And me too! And in response to your review for The Ballad of Bo and Ro... Thanks!**

 **DangerousPie1: We're not. Thank you! And in response to your review for the Ballad of Bo and Ro... Thanks! Obviously.**

 **Undecided13: Thanks! I know, right? If you want, you can tell Sandor it was my idea. I'll look forward to reading Sandor's special guest thingy!**

 **L: Grandor is also a good ship name! And I actually have a lot of the other random people reacting, so, yay! Thanks!**

 **Flowergirl15: Thank you! Yes Sandel is awesome. It's one of the few ships people can actually agree on. AND GO RO! GO RO! GO RO!**

 **Keephie-13: Yeah the bodyguards are awesome... but you're right, I don't want five. Maybe if I had like, Ro as my bodyguard. Though I can't imagine what I'd need a bodyguard for. Maybe if I annoy them enough, Tam, Wylie, and Fitz will start attacking me.**

 **The collective! Well, Forkle, Granite, and Squall, I don't really know the others well enough.**

Me: So we'll be reacting to some KOTLC ships-

Forkle: What's KOTLC?

Me: It stands for Keeper of the Lost Cities. It's a book series about Sophie. We'll be reacting to some couples with KOTLC characters.

Granite: Wait. How does the author know about the elves?

Me: I don't know. Maybe she is an elf or something? Or maybe... I'M THE AUTHOR!

Squall: You are?

Me: No, of course not. If I was I would have made Keefoster happen already. And what a perfect transition into our first react! What do you guys think of Keefoster?

Forkle: Yeah I ship it.

Granite: Sure, why not?

Fitz: Well I can think of many reasons why you shouldn't ship-

All: SHUT UP, YOU'RE NOT INVITED.

Me: Next, Sodex!

Squall: Yeah I ship that because Dex really likes Sophie and I want Dex to be happy.

Forkle: Understandable. It's not too bad.

Granite: It wouldn't be the worst thing…

Me: Sophitz!

Granite: That would.

Me: I agree.

Forkle: Noooooooooooooooooooo.

Squall: Hate it.

Granite: Ugh.

Me: And now… LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Forkle: Oh, I get it! Winh is like Wylie and Linh put together, but it's also WIN.

Squall: Uh, yeah we know.

Granite: This is awkward… I don't really want to discuss my son's love life… BYE!

Squall: HEY, I TALKED ABOUT SODEX! COME BACK!

Granite: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! *Light leaps away*

Me: Um, I'll make him come back using author powers. *Snaps fingers*

Granite: Huh. Apparently you can make me.

Me: And now, the third best ship of all-

Squall: What are the best two ships?

Me: KEEFOSTER and Lylie. And the third best is... SOPHIEMELT! Or is it Mallowphie? Hmm...

Granite: Wait, is that Sophie and... mallowmelt?

Forkle: Why do people ship Sophie with mallowmelt?

Me: I think the real question is... why do people _not_ ship Sophie with mallowmelt? Oh, wait, I know why. It's because THE MALLOWMELT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

Squall: Is she okay?

Granite: I don't think so.

 **Yeah! Fangirlmelt for life! Or Mallowgirl? Um, it works better with my real name.**

 **Please review!**

 **And check out my other story, The Ballad of Bo and Ro!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Flowergirl15: Thanks!**

 **GirlOfManyFloods: Thank you so much! And... this one is the parents. Tell Lalala and KitKat I said thanks!**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you! Yeah it really would be. UGH!**

 **angelicaschyler: Sorry... a majority was Diana. NOT MY FAULT, I HAVE NO PREFERENCE. GLITTERBUTT23 IS A DIANA SHIPPER, BLAME HER! YEAH SHE BETTER! Though she's writing as fast as she can and I'm 99.99% sure Keefoster will be endgame.**

 **Keephie-13: I'll think of you when I eat it. It's almost like eating it yourself... it is sooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood! And yeah I want Ro as a bodyguard and the Keepers crew is amazing. Is it wrong that I like fictional characters better than most real people?**

 **Undecided13: Thank you! I hope you go back to writing soon, your stories are really funny. And... great... out of all the Keepers characters Sandor is the one I _really_ don't want mad at me... cause he can probably kill me... thanks for the sneak peak! And woah that's close. You're also pretty close to 100, hope you get there!**

 **BigKeefosterFan: Yeah I remember you! You're the one who made me write all those messages for the characters, right? Ugh schoolwork is the worst. It's what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Yeah I've been wanting to, I'm just... too lazy. If you haven't read "Team Foster Keefe will always be cooler" by _moi_ you probably should. I hope you can review more, thanks.**

 **And now...**

 **The parents! (Alden, Della, Grady, Edaline, Juline, and Kesler) (Lord Cassius will be done seperately)**

Me: Um, hi guys.

Grady: Hi! Wait… are you that girl who wrote the story where I randomly come in and start screaming about THAT BOY?

Me: Yes. It really is a great story. You guys all know what ships are, right? Not the boat kind. The couple kind.

All: Yeah.

Me: First up is… KEEFOSTER!

Edaline: YES THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!

Della: I KNOW OTP OTP OTP!

Alden: Yeah it's okay, whoever makes Sophie happy is fine.

Juline: Yeah they're cute together.

Kesler: Sure, why not.

Grady: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HATE THAT BOY! KEEFOSTER SHOULD SINK!

Me: You. Did. Not. Say. That.

Grady: Yes I did.

Me: B-But Keefe is my favorite character...

Grady: How does anyone like… THAT BOY?!

Me: EVERYONE LIKES KEEFE! HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES! BETTER THAN YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND-

Kesler: Is she mentally okay?

Alden: Eh, I'm sure there's no reason to worry.

Me: (Once I have calmed down) Next is Diana.

Edaline: Biana and…

Me: Dex.

Grady: Okay. WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY better than the last ship.

Juline: Yeah I ship it.

Kesler: …

Della: Yeah! Diana!

Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand finally, FedEx.

Kesler: Who?

Juline: Dex and who?

Me: Dex and Fitz.

Edaline: YEAH SHIP IT LIKE FEDEX!

All: *Look at her*

Edaline: Um…

Me: Okay time to go!

 **And now, Lord Cassius reacts to ships!**

Me: Okay, so we'll be reacting to ships in just a minute. I need to do something really important.

Lord Cassius: Okay?

Me: *Deep breath* *Cracks knuckles* *Walks over to Lord Cassius*

Lord Cassius: Should I be scared?

Me: Yep. *PUNCHES HIM AS HARD AS I CAN (Which is pretty hard)* YOU IDIOT! HOW DARE YOU HURT KEEFE! HOW DARE YOU CALL HIM A DISAPPOINTMENT! KEEFE IS THE GREATEST ELF TO EVER WALK THE EARTH! I AM ASHAMED TO EVEN BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU!

Lord Cassius: OW! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Me: WHAT'S WRONG WITH _YOU? YOU'RE_ THE ONE WHO MADE KEEFE FEEL WORTHLESS! Okay. I _will_ punch you more later, but for now you can react to ships.

Lord Cassius: ...

Me: Couples.

Lord Cassius: Okay. Why does anyone go around thinking about who should date who?

Me: Honestly I don't know, it's a fangirl thing. I don't know why I do it but I can't stop.

Lord Cassius: Can we just get this over with?

Me: Well I was _going_ to make this quick, but since you want to I will take forever.

Lord Cassius: *Says some inappropriate words*

Me: Hey! No cursing in my story!

Lord Cassius: My _sincere_ apologies.

Me: So lets make this last _reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllly_ loooooooooooooooooooooong, okay?

Lord Cassius: Most definitely NOT okay.

Me: Okay! So you must listen to me rant about each of my ships. And I have a _lot_ because I can't decide on a lot of them. Like, do I ship Tiana or Diana? Which one? WHICH ONE!? TELL ME!

Lord Cassius: ...

 **Five hours later (The time it takes for me to rant about my ships)**

Lord Cassius: Can I go now?

Me: Nope! You still have to react to ships!

Lord Cassius: *Says some more inappropriate words*

Me: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CURSING?!

Lord Cassius: *Whimpers* Sorry.

Me: Now, what do you think of Keefoster?

Lord Cassius: I'm sorry, I am an idiot and do not understand anything you say.

Me: Keefe and Sophie.

Lord Cassius: HEY WAIT, WHY DID I JUST CALL MYSELF AN IDIOT?!

Me: Because... you are one?

Lord Cassius: No I'm not!

Me: I'm pretty sure you are.

Lord Cassius: No I'm not!

Me: Yes you are.

Lord Cassius: No I'm not!

Me: Yes you are.

Lord Cassius: No I'm not!

Me: Yes you are.

Lord Cassius: No I'm not!

Me: No you're not.

Lord Cassius: Yes I am!

Me: Glad we agree. Now, idiot, react to Keefoster!

Lord Cassius: That ship is either perfect or terrible.

Me: It's PERFECTION! And I'm just gonna make you react to the Keefe ships! But not all of them because I'm too lazy. Keefe/Biana!

Lord Cassius: Okay, at least my son will marry someone _noble._

Me: What about... Keefe/Linh?

Lord Cassius: My son... WITH A WAYWARD?! NEVER!

Me: Guessing you wouldn't be a fan of Tam/Keefe then.

Lord Cassius: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 **Wow, that's a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong chapter! Over 1000 words! Oh, wait, I forgot to punch Lord Cassius again.**

Me: *Punches Lord Cassius even harder than before, because now I have the sucker punch* *Knocks him out* That felt good.

 **Okay, now I'm done. Please review, and check out my story "The Ballad of Bo and Ro". And then review that.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hi everyone! I want to thank everyone who I PM'd asking for ideas! I especially want to thank Undecided13 for giving me the idea for this chapter! Come one guys, let thank her KOTLC style! (By giving her virtual mallowmelt!)**

 **Ugh I had writers block these past few days. And I've been sick. :(**

 **So now the afterlife (Anyone who died in KOTLC) will react to ships! Don't ask me how I got to the afterlife. Maybe this horrible disease killed me. (I have a cold and possibly a minor fever).**

 **Keephie-13: They truly are. *Cries with you* Thank you! Yeah... punching Lord Cassius is the sole reason I started martial arts... I started four years before I knew KOTLC existed... Again, thank you for reviewing and for the suggestions.**

 **Flowergirl15: Ugh so many people do. He deserves more than a FEW. Thank you and thanks for answering my PM.**

 **DangerousPie1: He does. You're welcome! Yeah... ship it like FedEx... sometimes (I'm considering shipping it but haven't decided yet). Thank you and thanks for the suggestions.**

 **Stardust020: HE DESEREVES TO BE PUNCHED ONE GAZILLION TIMES! (Yes of course that's a real number). Thank you and tell Lalala and KitKat thanks too! And also thanks for responding to my PM.**

 **L: Thanks! Lol yeah. And hmm, you're right! Oh, it definitely will be, sorry Grady. Of course! Alden and worries go together like Sophie and Fitz! Ya he does. And it is! I've had some in the 900s but that was my first 1000.**

 **HelenaPotter: KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! HAMILTON! HAMILTON! HAMILTON! LYLIE! LYLIE! SORRY ABOUT DIANA! SORRY! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! SO MANY REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! Guess I'm in Silveny mode today. Thank you for reviewing so many times, you've gotten me waaaaaaay closer to my goal of 150!**

 **And now, the afterlife!**

 **Warning: Lots and lots of spoilers for Everblaze through Nightfall.**

Me: *Arrives to see Ghost-Jolie strangling Ghost-Brant* Uhhhhhhhhh, am I interupting?

Jolie: Not at all! In fact, if you want to help me hurt Brant...

Me: Okay! *Knocks him out with a punch* Oh, darn, I need him awake for the chapter. I'll wake him up later. Can you get... um... Kenric and Forkle 1?

Jolie: Forkle 1?

Me: Yeah Forkle has an identical twin.

Jolie: I'm sorry what?

Me: Long story. Can you also get Calla?

Jolie: Okay. *Walks away muttering "Forkle has a twin?!"*

Me: Now Brant...

Brant: *Wakes up*

Me: *Punches Brant and knock him out again.*

Jolie: *Returns with Kenric, Calla, and Forkle 1.* FORKLE! Explain this whole _twin_ thing to me! There are two of you?!

Forkle: Um, yes. *Goes into explanation that I don't feel like writing, read Nightfall if you want the explanation*

Jolie: _Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh._

Kenric: Did Sophie take good care of my cache?

Me: Uhhhhhhhh, funny story, the Neverseen have it.

Kenric: *Says some colorful words*

Me: HEY! I rated this K+! No cursing in my story!

Kenric: What? I said colorful words like red and blue!

Me: ...oh. So anyway, we should react to ships!

Kenric: Oh wait! You're the one who wrote that alternate universe where I was alive and forced the council to react to ships!

Me: Yep. So I already what you'll answer, so you don't have to. Now the first ship, Keefoster!

Jolie: Who... are these people?

Me: You're adoptive sister and her soulmate.

Jolie: Adoptive sister?

Me: Yeah. And her soulmate.

Jolie: Well if they're soulmates I guess I should ship them.

Forkle: I SHIP THEM!

Me: I assumed, since Forkle 2 does.

Jolie: THIS IS SO CONFUSING!

Me: Yeah it really is.

Calla: Well it should be Sophie's choice but I think she'd be happiest with Keefe.

Me: Okay, Kenric I already know you ship it so... LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Kenric: Still don't know who those are.

Forkle: Oh I get it! Winh is like their ship-

Me: We know. If it weren't INCREDIBLY obvious already, you're brother said the same thing when I interviewed the collective.

Forkle: Um, yeah I definitely ship them!

Me: Wait if we're reacting to Lylie should I bring Cyrah?

All: *Shrugs*

Me: That's a yes. *Snaps fingers*

Cyrah: *Appears*

Jolie: Woah you're a really talented conjurer.

Me: No, I just have author powers.

Jolie: What are... author powers?

Me: It means I control everything that happens in this story.

Jolie: Ohhhhhhhh... kaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

Me: So, what do you think of LYLIE FOR THE WINH!?

Jolie: I have NO IDEA who those people are.

Me: Linh and Wylie.

Jolie: Who?

Me: Wylie and Linh.

Jolie: Who?

Me: Never mind.

Calla: Um I've met each of them like once but okay.

Cyrah: I don't know who on earth Linh is-

Me: Oh she's a hydrokinetic and a wayward and the girl of many floods and she has silver hair and a twin and she's Wylie's soulmate-

Cyrah: I still don't know who Linh is, but if Wylie likes her then I ship it.

Me: Okay how about... BAM! IT'S TIANA!

Forkle: BAM! IT'S TIANA! I SHIP IT!

Calla: Sure, but I kinda ship Diana more.

Jolie: I don't know these people, but it should be this... what's the girl's name?

Me: Biana.

Jolie: It should be Biana's choice.

Calla: Who did she choose?

Me: Dex.

Forkle: HOW COULD YOU!?

Me: Because a majority voted.

Kenric: Which one do you ship, Bam or Diana.

Glitterbutt23: But if you had to choose, if you had to choose.

Forkle: Who are you?

Glitterbutt23: ALEXANDER HAMILTON! MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON!

Kenric: What?

Me: There's a million things I haven't done, but just you waaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt!

All: What?

Me and Glitterbutt23: I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT, I AM NOT THROWING A WAY MY SHOT!

All: *Walk away*

Me and Glitterbutt23: YOU'LL BE BACK! SOON YOU'LL SEE!

Forkle: NO WE WON'T!

 **Please review guys! And give me some suggestions for ships/groups to react to ships!**

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	27. Chapter 27

**ANNOUNCEMENT! VERY IMPORTANT! IF YOU ARE A TRUE KOTLC FAN, READ THIS: *Clears throat***

 **SHANNON MESSENGER HAS DECIDED ON A TITLE! SHE ISN'T TELLING US WHAT IT IS, BUT SHE DECIDED ON ONE! AND THIS MEANS WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT SOON!**

 **Also important: I started reading the Sky Fall trilogy. It's really good.**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you! HAMILTON! And I might try that.**

 **Keephie-13: Yay more long chapter! They are, lol. Thank you!**

 **Flowergirl15: Thank you! LOL yes.**

 **Undecided13: Thank you! And the mallowmelt was great, wasn't it? Thank you. Yeah I think so too, but she might have gotten a little madder at him after he killed her, you know? That's just what I think. Thanks again!**

 **Guest: (You're L, right?) Thank you! Yeah I originally intended to make him curse, but the actual color thing was too funny to not use. Yeah they're basically the same person so... lol yeah.**

 **Keefex!**

Keefe: Wait what?

Dex: People actually ship this?

Me: Yep.

Dex/Keefe: THEY DO?!

Me: Aw, they're talking at the same time!

Glitterbutt23: *Slaps me*

Me: Sheesh, Glitterbutt, it's not like I'm gonna betray Team Foster Keefe. Relax.

Sophie: NO! NOT KEEFEX!

Biana: NO! NOT KEEFEX!

Me: Are we getting some Sobiana here? Cause I don't ship it.

Sophie: NO! You are getting Keefoster and Diana!

Me: Ooh, I love Keefoster and Diana!

Sophie: *Sighs* Why is she so weird?

Me: TEAM FOSTER KEEFE!

Glitterbutt23: SOPHITZ WILL SINK LIKE THE TITANIC!

Biana: Correction: Why are _they_ so weird?

Me: IT'S A FANGIRL THING!

Biana: Seriously, it's like a disease.

Sophie: Maybe we should call Elwin.

Keefe: Does Foster have another medical emergency?

Dex: She's gone almost two weeks without one.

Keefe: I know, right? It's like a new record.

Sophie: Shut _up_ , guys.

Keefe: Nope!

Sophie: I don't need Elwin, _they_ need him!

Me/Glitterbutt23: *Running around screaming about the Hunger Games*

Dex: Hmm, you're right.

Keefe: When is she not?

Dex: When she had a crush on Fitz.

Keefe: Oh yeah.

Sophie: Shouldn't we get back to the ships? And where are the others?

Me: Well Fitz is studying for some test- wait, Keefe, shouldn't you be studying too?

Keefe: Nope. Photographic memory.

Me: Well you still should be studying, but that's okay, because I should be doing my math homework. PROCRASTINATION RULES!

Keefe: YEAH PROCRASTINATION!

Dex: So where are Tam and Linh?

Me: Well Tam's mad at Keefe for stealing his hair products and filling the bottles with gulon gas-

Keefe: It was _funny_ , okay?

Me: I'm not saying it wasn't. And Linh's with Wylie. *Grumbles about stupid teenagers, always leaving me to go on dates*

Glitterbutt23: Well why don't we make both of them come?

Me: That's a great idea!

Glitterbutt23: Yay! I'm smarter than A very obsessed fangirl!

Me: Well technically I made you say that, so really I'm the smart one.

Glitterbutt23: Just when I thought I had gained a _tiny_ bit of intelligence...

 **Five hours later (The amount of time it takes to convince Wylie to come)**

Me: It's not a _Linh_ ship, I just want you to come!

Wylie: No!

Me: Linh, don't you enjoy doing this?

Linh: I'm... just... Well it's sometimes fun but if Wylie doesn't want to come...

Me: NO! WRONG ANSWER!

Wylie: YOU WILL ACCEPT WHATEVER ANSWER LINH GIVES!

Me: Hmm, this is hard. Maybe I'll hail Glitterbutt23. *Takes out imparter* Show me Glitterbutt23.

Glitterbutt23: *Holds whispered conversation with me*

Wylie: Quick, lets escape while she's distracted.

Linh: By light leaping?

Wylie: No she stole all of the leaping crystals.

Linh: How then?

Wylie: Well she's human. We could just levitate away.

Linh: Okay, good idea.

Lylie: *Levitates*

Me: *Also levitates* *Grabs onto Linh* *Teleports*

Wylie: Wait, she can teleport now?

Me: Never underestimate *Thunder booms* THE AUTHOR POWERS!

Lylie: ...

Me: I'm weird. Deal with it. Now, lets react to ships, shall we?

Wylie: We shall not.

Me: Hmm, I probably shouldn't have phrased that as a question. What I meant was: Now we will react to ships. You can't leave until you do, so try to go as fast as possible. I have stuff to do.

Linh: Okay, fine. What's the ship?

Me: Keefex.

Wylie: YOU MEAN YOU WASTED FIVE HOURS OF OUR LIVES SO WE CAN REACT TO... KEEFEX?!

Me: Yes.

Wylie: Um, I doubt it's going to happen.

Linh: It's more likely than the majority of ships we react to though.

Me: See? That wasn't so bad.

Wylie: Yes it was.

 **Okay, to trick you guys into reviewing... I didn't say that out loud, did I? I did? Darn. Anyway, we now have a competition! In your reviews, guess the title of book eight. If you're right, you win a prize! Don't ask what the prize is. Because it's a secret... yeah... not because I have no idea...**

 **Please review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Keephie-13: YAY! And it's not a year, it's only... 9 and a half months... I'm dying here. I'm not really sure either... I think she's supposed to tell us in the first week of February. P** **rocrastination is- uh, I'll finish that sentence later.**

 **Flowergirl15: Not many people... duh, of course he does. AHHHHHHHHH I KNOW RIGHT! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Yeah I hope so too. Of course it does.**

 **DangerousPie1: Good guesses. Yeah! Please don't die of a fangirl heart attack before the story is over... I like the reviews.**

 **Undecided13: Ooh, that's one I haven't heard before. But who will they revive? UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH I NEED BOOK 8 TO COME OUT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN! Uh, I'm okay. Thank you!**

 **L: Yeah I thought so. (I AM SO SMART!) It might be, but it still doesn't even _begin_ to describe how weird I am! Yeah, Dex and Keefe are great as friends but in a romantic relationship... not so much. (No offence to any Keefex shippers out there!) **

**Stardust020: Thank you! And you can say it as many times as you want, I don't mind. Hmm, that would be AWESOME! It's not likely but... anything's possible? Out of all the title guesses that was by far the best (Least likely though). I don't either (Why do you think I started the contest?)**

 **BigKeefosterFan: Thanks! And you're studying history now... elvin history. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?! Ugh. Well THEY'RE ALL WRONG! Neither do I. Keefoster DOES. You will win. If you need any help, ask me!**

 **Mellisa: I know. *GAGS* But I think, without a doubt, they will break up eventually. And yeah, I've read Flashback. And you don't have a ship... what will it take to get you to the Sokeefe side?**

 **BoRo!**

Ro: Oh, doing it just with the bodyguards wasn't enough?

Me: Nope!

Ro: For someone who was so excited when I liked them, you sure aren't very nice to me.

Me: Oh no! I'll do anything for your forgiveness!

Ro: How about you give me a lot of mallowmelt?

Me: ANYTHING BUT THE MALLOWMELT!

Ro: Nope. Either give me the mallowmelt or live with one of your favorite fictional characters hating you.

Me: *Sobs* *Bring mallowmelt close to me* I'll never forget you, my love. *Gives mallowmelt to Ro*

Ro: Thanks! *Eats it in one bite*

Me: *Sobs*

Tam: So... is she ever going to let the rest of us react?

Me: Ro, tell them that I'm not letting them react because I'm mad at them.

All: Why are you mad at us?

Keefe: Even ME?!

Me: Yes even you Keefe.

Keefe: This doesn't make sense. How could anyone be mad at... ME!?

All: Well gosh I wonder.

Keefe: I know, it's one of those questions no one will ever know the answer to.

Me: Well I'm mad at all of you because you always leave me with cliffhangers!

Sophie: But this _Shannon Messenger_ person made us do that!

Me: But then it's your fault for not arguing with her like you do with me!

Linh: Oh, we're sorry. We'll try next time.

Me: Thank you Linh. Now the rest of you should follow her example.

All: Sorry.

Me: Okay. 250 words in, we can start reacting to ships.

Keefe: So... Bo and Ro... shame they don't really love each other.

Dex: I know, right? It was hilarious until we found out the actual story.

Tam: Yeah that was pretty sad.

Fitz: I honestly can't believe Ro didn't kill you for all those jokes.

Keefe: I can't either.

All: Me neither.

Ro: Me neither.

Biana: Are you ever going to tell us what was in the ballad?

Keefe: Naaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

Me: But if you want to read it, check out _The Ballad of Bo and Ro_ by A very obsessed fangirl.

Biana: Wow, she is really obsessed with self promotion.

Me: Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeee reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad it and revieeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

All: Wow.

Tam: That's kind of pathetic.

Me: But I looooooooooove revieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwsssssssss!

All: *Sighs*

Me: What does Bo think of BoRo?

Ro: He hates it.

Me: Should I invite him?

All: NO.

Ro: He will murder you on the spot.

Sophie: And then we would have a ton of paperwork to do because you died on FanFiction.

Me: *Sighs* I guess I can't invite Bo. But I _can_ invite...

Linh: Please not Wylie.

Me: Oh, good idea, I'll invite him! But I can _also_ invite... GLITTERBUTT23!

Tam: Oh no not her.

Me: Yes her. *Snaps fingers*

Glitterbutt23: It's about time! Why am I almost never here anymore?

Me: Because I'm more important than you. Now, REACT TO BORO!

Glitterbutt23: FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, IT SHOULD BE "BRO"!

Me: AND FOR THE MILLION-AND-ONE-TH TIME-

Keefe: Is that... grammatically correct? 'Cause it sounds weird.

Me: Of _course_ it's grammatically correct! FOR THE MILLION-AND-ONE-TH TIME, THE OFFICIAL NAME IS BORO SO DEAL WITH IT!

Glitterbutt23: FINE! *Grumbles about stupid ship names*

Me: So what do you think of BORO!

Glitterbutt23: *Cough* bro *Cough* Their names rhyme but Bo is an idiot.

Ro: Truer words were never spoken.

Me: Thank you, Glitterbutt23. And now I shall invite Wylie!

Linh: Please don't.

Me: But I _want_ to!

Linh: But Wylie _doesn't_ want to!

Me: Deep down, he does!

Linh: No he doesn't!

Me: Yes he does!

Linh: No he doesn't!

Me: But he does! He does! He does! He does! He does he does he does he does he does he does he does he does he does he does he does he does he does HE DOES!

Linh: FINE! But don't tell him I gave you the idea.

Me: Of course I won't! I don't want Wylie to be even mildly annoyed with you! You must completely and fully love each oth-

Tam: Can you shut up? I think you're making Linh uncomfortable. And everyone else.

Me: Okay. I'll make Wylie come now. *Snaps fingers*

Wylie: *Appears* *Light leaps away*

Me: *Snaps fingers*

Wylie: *Appears* *Light leaps away*

 **This goes on for hours**

Me: *Snaps fingers*

 **Every leaping crystal in existence disappears.**

Me: *Snaps fingers*

Wylie: *Appears* *Tries to light leap* *Realizes he has no crystal* Sophie, can you teleport me away?

Me: No she can't.

Wylie: So what torture must I endure today?

Glitterbutt23: No torture!

Wylie: Wait what?

Me: You just have to react to-

Wylie: You do realize that _is_ torture, right?

Me: Oh, never mind then. You _do_ have to endure torture! You will react to... BORO!

Wylie: Isn't Bo that stupid ogre who hates Linh?

Glitterbutt23: That's the one!

Wylie: And Ro is-

Ro: ME!

Wylie: The one who's kind of annoying but mostly okay.

Me: Like me! I'm annoying but I'm mostly okay!

Wylie: No you're not okay at all.

Me: Well that's rude.

Wylie: But it's true.

Glitterbutt23: It really is.

Me: Oh, like _you're_ okay!

Glitterbutt23: I am!

Me: You're really not.

Glitterbutt23: I'm not.

Me: Ah, the amazingness of being a writer and controlling people. Now, Wylie hasn't actually _reacted_ yet.

Glitterbutt23: We should just keep arguing so he has to stay even longer.

Me: Nah, I'm pretty hungry. Let's try to finish soon.

Glitterbutt23: Well you could just get a snack and keep writing later.

Me: Yeah but I want to post this as soon as possible! I'm sure that my readers are practically dying because they're waiting for the next chapter.

Glitterbutt23: I love to break it to you, Fangirl, but they're not.

Me: So Wylie, react to BORO now.

Wylie: Ro shouldn't have to be with someone that stupid.

Ro: True. Very true.

Me: And remember, I wrote the Ballad. You guys should read it! And review it!

Dex: Us?

Me: No, my readers.

 **I decided the prize for guessing the title correctly! But it only works for people with an account. I will PM you a chapter to ANY ship requested by you! Cool prize, right? And you can also request a group to react! But if you ask for a ship I was already planning on doing, choose another one because I'm going to post that chapter for everyone.**

 **And wow this is loooooooooooooooooong! Almost 1500 words! So now I'm making it longer.**

 **Please review!**

 **Well that's it.**

 **Bye peoples!**

 **(And remember to review.)**


	29. INTERMISSION

**INTERMISSION**

 **(** **It is unclear why I have intermission here, but okay!)**

 **First, respond to reviews...**

 **UNEXPECTED LOVE: Idk. Thanks!**

 **L: Great! Please review! That's unfortunate. Lol, definitely! Thanks!**

 **FlowerGirl15: Me too. Thank you!**

 **DangerousPie1: Thank you! But don't die.**

 **Stargirl020: Thanks! I DON'T KNOW EITHER! IT DOES! AHH! None of us are fine. Tell lalala and KitKat I said thanks too! Bye!**

 **Keepers react to this story/ to me... An exclusive interview.**

Interviewer (Glitterbutt23): So, it's intermission.

Tam: Why do we have an intermission?

Interviewer: Look, I don't know. This was Fangirl's idea. Anyway, one at a time. Who's first?

Dex: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!

Interviewer: Nice reference.

Dex: Reference?

Interviewer: Never mind. Okay, so the challenge is, you have to describe this story in five words. Dex, you start.

Dex: At least I'm finally relevant. Wait, does 'I'm' count as one word or two?

Interviewer: I think one. Tam, go.

Tam: How does this have fans?

Interviewer: Um, I'm sure A. Fan appreciates that. Sophie?

Sophie: Mildly entertaining, but extremely weird. How about Keefe?

Keefe: Confusing, but it ships Keefoster.

Linh: Proud of how it's improved.

Tam: It's improved?

Interviewer: Yeah, I bet A. Fan appreciates that too. Thanks, Tam. Biana, your turn.

Biana: Diana or Bam was intense.

Interviewer: Hey, ad break! I (Glitterbutt23) have a story called "Diana or Bam!" It's very insane. Go read it! Ad break over. Fitz?

Fitz: Sokeefe sucks, Fitzphie shall rule.

Interviewer: Yeah, no. Okay, I'm sort of dreading this one... Wylie?

Wylie: OH-MY-MALLOWMELT! THIS-STORY-SUCKS-MORE-THAN-ANYTHING-ELSE-IN-THE-HISTORY-OF-SUCKING! THE-AUTHOR-IS-TERRIBLE,-INCOMPETENT-AND-ANNOYING! I-WISH-I-HAD-NEVER-BECOME-A-CHARACTER-IN-THIS-STUPID-FANFICTION! I-HATE-IT-SO-MUCH!

Interviewer: I don't quite know if that counts.

Wylie: Of course it does!

 **All right, so, I mostly wrote this chapter because I deleted an announcement chapter... and it threw all of the reviews off, which bothered me, so I'm replacing it with this intermission.**

 **Good news from a year and three months ago! In the announcement chapter, I declared when the title of book eight was about to be released! I also reminded everyone to hurry up if they want to enter my guessing contest!**

 **All right, that's it. Hope you enjoyed!**


	30. Chapter 29

**Hey guys! I still didn't get the paper, but honestly I'm just going to write it anyway, if I had any REALLY good ideas I'll remember them.**

 **GUESS WHAT!? YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW, SHANNON MESSENGER WILL BE POSTING REJECTED TITLES FOR BOOK 8! YESTERDAY'S WAS** ** _INCEPTION_** **, TODAY'S WAS** ** _DEADLOCK_** **, AND DON'T ASK ME WHAT TOMORROW'S IS I DON'T KNOW. AND THEN...**

 _ **THE TITLE FOR BOOK 8 WILL BE RELEASED! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_

 **Wow. Okay. Responding to reviews now.**

 **Stardust020: Thank you! No you won't. None of us are OK. Tell them thanks for me! I KNOW RIGHT ME TOO AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THURSDAY CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH!**

 **DangerousPie1: Thanks! Well then. I'm sorry I'm killing you. And we won't, because she must wait until almost the END before she chooses a ship to be endgame. (Cough sophitz won't last Cough)**

 **Flowergirl15: Yeah poor Ro. Aw, thank you! Writing these sort of solves my depression. But the only thing that can really solve my depression is just pure KEEFOSTER. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IKR?**

 **Keephie-13: Oh wow,** ** _thanks._** **JK, I know it is. YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!**

 **L: Well, review it now then! Yeah, even Ro was surprised! Wow,** ** _thanks._** **Well I know it is so... *shrugs* YAY THAT'S ONLY THURSDAY!**

 **CrystaltheBookworm: I don't know. You might be, it's not like I know were you live, I'm not a stalker... Or am I? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!**

 **Okay. The Neverseen react to ships!**

Fintan: Why am I even here?

Me: Because you are.

Fintan: Let me leave.

Me: Nope!

Fintan: Let me leave or I will BURN YOU!

Me: No you won't!

Fintan: *Tries to ignite everblaze.* *Fails* Huh?

Marella: *Walks in* THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIII- why isn't it working?

Me: Pyrokinesis doesn't work today, as a safety precaution against Fintan.

Marella: Okay, makes sense. *Walks away.*

Me: So your powers won't work. Now react to ships! The sooner you react, the sooner your powers come back!

Fintan: I ship Sokeefe, Sophitz, Sodex, Lylie, Bam, Diana, Litz, Keefiana, Tarella, Dexella, FedEx, Solinh, Sophiana-

Me: Okay, you can stop now!

Fintan: THANK GOODNESS!

Gisela: Is she gonna make the rest of us react? It's fine if she isn't...

Me: *Deep breath* *PUNCHES LADY GISELA EVEN HARDER THAN I PUNCHED LORD CASSIUS, THEN KICK HER IN THE HEAD BECAUSE SHE'S SHORT ENOUGH FOR ME TO DO THAT* *SCREAM ABOUT HOW AWFUL SHE IS AND HOW KEEFE DESERVED BETTER AND HER LEGACY SUCKS*

Gisela: OW! *Goes to get medical attention*

Me: Good. She's gone. Now, what do those remaining think of Sokeefe?

Umber: They-

Fintan: Wait, didn't she... ***FLASHBACK SPOILERS*** die?

Me: Yep. I brought her back for the chapter. Yes I can do that.

Fintan: Woah can you bring back Brant?

Me: Yeah like that's happening. And he already reacted, so, no.

Alvar: I'm leaning towards Sophitz.

Me: Alvar! We're dying to know: Tell us about the Vacker Legacy.

Alvar: Well it's-

Me: Wait, is the Vacker legacy... tearing apart the most precious and beautiful relationship in the history of the entire world both fictional and real? Cause that's what it seems like to me...

Alvar: No it...

Official Lord Of No Spoilers: HEY! You are not allowed to reveal anything about KOTLC that they don't already know! Punishment... is death. But Keefe will never be given the death sentence because he can never be taken away from Sophie, and he was peer pressured by SOMEONE!

Me: Well can't imagine who that would be.

Official Lord Of No Spoilers: Alvar Soren Vacker, you're spending the night in jail. *Leaves with Alvar.*

Me: Why do they keep leeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaving me?!

Fintan: Well gosh I wonder.

Me: So Alvar is team Sophitz, Fintan ships all of them. I envy you, by the way. I wish I could be neutral. Then I would be far more emotionally intact. But it's fine. At least I picked the winning side! Vespera, what do you think?

Vespera: I refuse to be involved with anything as ridiculous as this.

Me: *GASP* SHIPPING IS NOT "RIDICULOUS"! SHIPPING IS THE MOST AMAZING AND GLORIOUS THING EVER, AND THE BEST SHIP OF ALL IS... KEEFOSTER!

Vespera: If I agree to ship Keefoster, will you leave me alone?

Me: Probably not, but I'll interrogate Umber for a while.

Vespera: Deal. SOKEEFE!

Me: So, Umber, what do you think?

Umber: I think all of them should die so none of them can be shipped.

Me: Well that's not morbid or psychotic at all.

 **Sorry this chapter was shorter than usual! Remember, you have two days to enter the contest. The prize is at the end of chapter 28, as I'm too lazy to type it again.**

 **Well that's all.**

 **Bye peeps and please review!**


	31. Chapter 30

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

 **THE TITLE IS LEGACY!**

 **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

 **And the winner is... DANGEROUSPIE1!**

 **DangerousPie1: YAY! CONGRATS! Give me ANY ship and I'll have to write a chapter for it... JUST FOR YOU! (Please make it easy, please make it easy.) Um, yeah, I mean Lylie is great and there's not as much buildup around it like the Sophie love triangle.**

 **Stardust020: Thanks! Well, Thursday passed now! And, um, please don't kill me... (It's a little over 9 months.)**

 **Undecided13: Heheheh... heh. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Yay! Hmm... if you really hate being undecided so much you could always just join the Keefoster side...**

 **Keephie-13: I actually used to ship Umber with Trix! (I wasn't really paying attention when I typed this so I originally typed FITZ instead of TRIX XD Fitz and Umber... Umbitz... maybe they should react to that lol). YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY TITLE A FEW DAYS AGO!**

 **Guest: On instagram. Or just scroll up, it's in caps lock at the top of this chapter. Kinda concerning if you didn't see it.**

 **L: Yeah, I actually really liked Rematch as a rejected title. And deadlock! Yeah... me too. Oh, I HATE Sophitz. Lol Umber. Thanks! Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **Amy reacts to ships! Special thanks to Flowergirl15 for giving me the idea!**

Amy: So who are you?

Me: A fangirl.

Amy: Mind explaining what that is?

Me: I read books about your sister and obsess over them.

Amy: And I thought I was weird...

Me: Aw, that's okay! Just because I'm weirder doesn't mean you can't be weird! We can all be weird! Now, you know what couple ships are, correct?

Amy: Yeah...

Me: So I'm going to give you EVERY. POTENTIAL. SOPHIE. SHIP. EVER.

Amy: What?

Me: I'm going to list people. You probably know most if not all of them. Then you will tell me what you think of that person dating Sophie.

Amy: Okay.

Me: So the first ship is- WAIT!

Amy: _What?_

Me: We need a microphone! *Snaps fingers*

Microphone: *Appears* Hey, what's up?

Amy: A talking microphone?

Me: Yeah that's totally normal, you know?

Amy: I think your world is even weirder than the elf world.

Me: You have _no_ idea.

Amy: I don't think I want to have an idea.

Microphone: Can we just get on with it?

Me: Okay! *Prepares to speak in microphone*

Microphone: Your breath smells like cinnamon.

Me: I know, I just ate a cinnamon roll.

The entire fandom: YOU ATE DEX?!

Me: No, like, an actual cinnamon roll. The food kind. I would never eat the poor technopath. That would make his chances of being on the cover of Legacy even lower! Also it would be disgusting.

Amy: ... I have no words.

Me: Well that's okay. I have lots of words!

Microphone: Way too many words.

Me: Well when I'm a writer that's a good thing. When I'm supposed to stop talking in class it's not.

Microphone: When your trying to be sane it's not a good thing.

Me: When you get insulted by a microphone... you know your life is sad.

Amy: It probably is.

Me: I've been talking to Amy and microphone-

Microphone: Hey, my name deserves a capital M!

Me: But you're not a person! You're just an inanimate object who I made able to talk! And honestly I wish I didn't.

Microphone: Fine.

Me: Now, I've been talking to Amy and **m** icrophone for 400 words, and we still haven't reacted to ships!

Microphone: Now that's just sad. What's our first ship?

Me: *Speaks into microphone* SOOOOOOOKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFE!

Amy: Hmm, Sophie and Keefe... yeah I like it. He definitely likes her...

Me: But Sophie doesn't even realize it!

Amy: I know, right? She's like the most oblivious person on earth!

Me: Exactly! So are you a Sokeefe shipper?

Amy: Yeah, I guess.

Me: Welcome to the Keefoster side! We have mallowmelt!

Amy: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH, MALLOWMELT! I AM _DEFINITELY_ TEAM KEEFOSTER!

Me: *Snaps fingers* *Mallowmelt appears*

Amy: (After eating the mallowmelt in one bite) So are you a... what's it called... Sophie's adoptive mom has that ability?

Me: Conjurer?

Amy: Yeah, are you a conjurer?

Me: No. I'm just using author powers.

Amy: That makes sense.

Me: So our next ship is... Sophi- *Gags* -I'm sorry I can't even say it.

Microphone: She means Sophitz.

Me: Yes... *Shudders* _THAT._

Amy: Sophie and Fitz... well Sophie has a crush on him, but I don't know, she kinda acts weird around him, y'know?

Me: Yes I do know!

Amy: Yeah she's kinda different around Fitz. But if she really wants...

Me: Nope! SOKEEFE MUST PREVAIL NO MATTER WHAT!

Amy: Oooooooookay then. Next ship?

Me: Sodex!

Amy: That guy she kissed?

Me: That's the one!

Amy: Wait, is he that cinnamon roll person?

Me: Yes! Dex the poor underappreciated technopathic cinnamon roll! That's his official title by the way.

Amy: Okay. Well since Sophie rejected hiim I don't think Dex the poor underappreciated technopatic cinnamon roll has a chance.

Me: He probably doesn't. RIP Dexphie.

Amy: RIP. Next ship.

Me: Tam and Sophie.

Amy: Tam's the really salty one, right? With the silver bangs? And the twin?

Me: THE REALLY SALTY ONE XD!

Amy: ...Anyway no they're good friends but they have like zero romantic interest in each other.

Me: THE REALLY SALTY... sorry, what? Oh! Yeah. Next ship is Solinh. You know Linh, right? Silver hair, twin of salty boy...

Amy: Twin of salt... pepper?

Me: YES LINH IS PEPPER NOW!

Amy: So, again, just friends. Also Linh seemed to like that Wylie guy...

Me: LYLIE FOR THE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINH!

Amy: Next ship?

Me: Next and final ship... Sobiana.

Amy: Biana... Vanisher, Fitz's sister, super pretty?

Me: *Nods*

Amy: No way, Biana belongs with salty boy.

Me: Heh heh heh heh... she's dating Dex the poor underappreciated technopathic cinnamon roll.

Amy: WHAT?

Me: And... I'm the one who made that happened.

Amy: WHAT?

Me: It was the reviewers fault! I ship Biana with salty boy now, but noooooooooo, my reviewers voted Dex! **(No offense to my reviewers! You guys are awesome, and if I had been a Tiana shipper when I wrote those chapters I wouldn't have let you guys decide!)**

Amy: WHAT?

Me: You know what let's move on. Oh, um, actually I've done the major Sophie ships, soooooooo that's it! Bye Amy!

Amy: Bye!

Amy: *Leaves*

Me: *Leaves*

Microphone: Oh, they don't say goodbye to ME!

 **Well, please review! And DangerousPie1, you can request the ships through reviews or private messaging, either is fine. Bye guys!**


	32. Chapter 31

**Stardust020: Well actually, I had a headcanon where** ** _Keefe_** **is pepper. It makes sense, okay? Just hear me out. (Or** ** _read_** **me out, or... I'll stop.) Salt and pepper are sort of rivals... and also Keefe and Tam are so similar that they MUST be salt and pepper. Linh can be sugar because she's so sweet. (I bet Wylie agrees with me...)**

 **Undecided13: Thanks! Wait... Keephie still has a chance!? PRAISE ALL THINGS SPARKLY! OMG YES LEGACY! And... she wasn't before?**

 **Keephie-13: It does! Credit goes to Flowergirl15 for giving me the idea. Yeah, me too. FIBER OMG YES! And... I WILL write a chapter for them! And... it will be THIS chapter!**

 **L: IKR! And NINE MONTHS! ONLY NINE MONTHS! Yes, a talking microphone. Don't ask where I got the idea. I don't know. (It came to me in a dream... No it didn't.) I'm honestly not sure why I enjoyed writing it so much. Yes. It was a very delicious non-Dex cinnamon roll. AND I WOULD NEVER EAT THE POOR UNDERAPPRECIATED TECHNOPATHIC CINNAMON ROLL! (Now I'm referring to Dex.) I actually am calling him that from now on. When a ship discussion with a talking microphone is** ** _normal_** **for you... that's when you know you're weird. If you didn't already, which you did. No, sovalin isn't real and my fingers were hurting so Amy was spared the reaction to Sovalin. Wow that was long. Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **DangerousPie1: IKR! Yeah I ship it. Yeah Amy is cool. Thanks! And what chapter are you going to force me to write?**

 **Fiber!**

Fitz/Umber: WHY WHY WHY ON EARTH IS THIS EVEN A SHIP!?

Me: OMG they're speaking at the same time! What a great Fiber moment!

Fitz/Umber: Just kill me now.

Me: Wow, again!

Glitterbutt23: Now I'm curious, why IS this a ship?

Me: Oh there you are! Long time no see!

Glitterbutt23: You... you saw me on Friday.

Me: I meant in the story, idiot.

Glitterbutt23: WELL MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE YOU NEVER WRITE ABOUT ME ANYMORE! I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE DEX HERE!

Me: No. Dex is better than you.

Glitterbutt23: Back to the original question, where did you come up with this ship?

Me: *Gets faraway look in eyes* It all started with a typo...

Umber/Fitz: Is she okay?

Everyone else in the history of everything: Nope.

Keefe: Wow, haven't seen you in a while.

Tam: Not since chapter 28.

Linh: Yeah, what's up with that?

Me: Why hello my salt/pepper/sugar peeps.

Keefe/Tam/Linh: WHAT?

Me: Tam is salt, Keefe is pepper, and Linh is sugar.

Keefe/Tam/Linh: WHAT?

Me: Wait I'm not done. Dex is cinnamon, Marella is chili powder, and Fitz is Ritz cracker crumbs.

All: WHAT?

Me: Still haven't decided for Sophie and Biana.

Sophie: Thank goodness.

Me: So, you guys should react to Fiber!

Dex: Who?

Me: Fitz...

Glitterbutt23: And Umber.

All: EW EW EW EW WHAT THE HECK?

Me: Do you guys want to hear the story?

Dex: Yay, story time!

Me: *Gets faraway look in eyes again* It all started with a typo...

Glitterbutt23: It was a dark and stormy night...

Me: Well it was dark and it was night.

Glitterbutt23: Fangirl was responding to her reviews...

Me: And Keephie-13 said Umber will not be shipped with anyone.

Glitterbutt23: But Fangirl disagreed, thinking that Umber should be shipped with Trix... before she died anyway.

Me: I meant to type _that._

Glitterbutt23: But it was late.

Me: And I was tired.

Glitterbutt23: And a typo occurred.

Me: Now if I had spelled it _Tri..._

Glitterbutt23: Or _Rix..._

Me: That would've been okay.

Glitterbutt23: But no...

Me: Instead I typed...

Me and Glitterbutt23: FITZ!

Me: And Fiber was born.

Tam: Wow. That was the weirdest story I've ever heard.

Me: And the greatest?

Tam: NO.

Keefe: It was the greatest story I've ever heard.

Me: REALLY!?

Keefe: Yep. But keep in mind my parents weren't the type to read bedtime stories...

All fangirls: *Get mad at Keefe's parents*

Keefe: So most stories I've heard involve Foster almost dying...

Sophie: Doesn't happen THAT much!

All: _Suuuuuuuure._

Keefe: ...Or me almost dying...

Linh: Yep that happens a lot too.

Keefe: ...Or one of our friends almost dying... or Fitzphie... So yeah that was the best story I've ever heard because I've never heard any good stories.

Me: Well I'll take it.

Biana: Anyone else think Keefe deserves to hear a good story?

Me: He just did!

Fitz/Umber: Uh-huh. _Right._

Glitterbutt23: Fine. We'll tell him another story...

Me: In song form!

Tam: Oh no.

Glitterbutt23 and Me: _There once was a boy named Harry_

*Sophie joins in* _Destined to be a star._

 _His parents were killed by Voldemort_

 _Who gave him a lightning scar._

Keefe: WHAT?

Sophie: Trust me, the books are better than the song.

Biana: So have we actually reacted to Fiber or did we just scream "EW!"?

Glitterbutt23: You're right, you must properly react!

Dex: Is there any actual evidence for this ship?

Fitz/Umber: I hope not.

Linh: Well _that's_ evidence. *Points to Umber/Fitz*

Fitz/Umber: What's evidence?

Tam: I see what you mean. Is there any other evidence?

Keefe: Apparently Fangirl and GB23 think that Umber wanted to kill Foster because Fitz liked Foster-

Biana: Well honestly, almost every dude she meets has a crush on her.

Sophie: No they don't!

Everyone: *Raises eyebrow*

Fitz: I did.

Dex: I did.

Keefe: I do.

Valin: So do I!

Everyone: GET OUT.

Sophie: Okay, I guess. Keefe, continue.

Keefe: And Umber was jealous.

Dex: That is one of the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And I live with the triplets.

Keefe: Wasn't my theory. Fangirl transmitted it to me.

Tam: Wait she's a telepath?

Me: Yep. And GB23 is my cognate! We're cognates! Yay!

Umber/Fitz: Can we leave now?

Me: Sure. Why, eager to go on a date?

Umber/Fitz: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't ask too much about your personal life. But can you invite me to the wedding?

Umber/Fitz: WE ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A WEDDING!

Glitterbutt23: Sure you aren't. Just let me check my schedule... is February 14th okay?

Umber/Fitz: For your death date?

Me: No, for your wedding! ...My death is scheduled for April 25th.

Tam: You schedule your death?

Me: ...That's beside the point. Fitz, Umber, of course you can leave! After we're done.

Fitz: Can you-

Umber: (At the same time) Can I-

Fitz/Umber: Kill her with creepy shadows?

Glitterbutt23: No no no, of course not! You have to wait until Wylie reacts!

Me: And I already told you, I'm dying on April 25th!

Linh: Well since I know Wylie so well-

Me and Glitterbutt23: _Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww_ , LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Tam: Can you do the world a favor and SHUT UP!?

Me: I WILL NOT BE SILENCED! MY VOICE WILL BE HEARD!

Dex: Oooooooookay then.

Me: Now, I have homework, so I'm just going to conjure Wylie. I really don't have time to chase him down. *Snaps fingers*

Wylie: *Appears* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Glitterbutt23: YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Now what do you think of Fiber?

Wylie: Thank goodness it's not a ship! Um, fiber is an excellent source of nutrition...

Biana: Uhhhh, it kinda _is_ a ship...

Wylie: WHAT?

Sophie: It ships Fitz and Umber.

Wylie: Didn't Umber... die?

Glitterbutt23: They're love is so strong that even death can't come between them...

All except me: EW GROSS!

Wylie: This ship _sucks!_ Who came up with it?

Me: *Gets faraway look in eyes* It all started with a typo...

Tam: Fangirl's fault.

Me: What do you mean, _FAULT?_

Keefe: Gosh I wonder.

Glitterbutt23: Read the chapter for the full story.

Wylie: Well as much as I'd just *Gags* _love_ to read the chapter, I have... places... to be and... stuff... to do.

Me: Did you hear that, GB23? He loves our story! I knew it!

Wylie: Wait, did I say _love_? I meant _hate._ My bad.

Me: *Pouts* (Grumbles) Yes. Your bad.

 **Well, that was my longest chapter! You're welcome, world! Also, I'm too lazy to make a poll so tell me in the reviews: Would you rather they react to Fitz/Chandelier, Sophie/Pockets, or Keefe/Hair? Or all three in one chapter? And please review!**

 **Bye peeps!**


	33. Chapter 32

**Okay, so, you know how I said this chapter would be Chandelitz, Foskets, or Keefair? I lied. That chapter** ** _will_** **come eventually though, I promise. And this chapter is also pretty good!**

 **Keephie-13: Yay! I love long chapters! Hmmm... you** ** _sure_** **he doesn't deserve it? *Remembers I'm trying to not hate Fitz* Of** ** _course_** **he doesn't!**

 **Flowergirl15: Yes. Yes it was. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH NEITHER CAN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!**

 **Stardust020: Thanks! No I'm not doing Sophiemelt because mallowmelt belongs with ME! FANGIRLMELT 4 LIFE!**

 **Undecided13: No, of course not! It the date of my black belt test in martial arts. Three+ hours of pure torture! ...Fun. Don't worry, I'll come back to life! Thank you! Woah, you and Tam** ** _are_** **destined to be... best friends. Yes yes I am. Though GB23 and I brainstormed lots of good ships, and people to interview, so I don't need to resort to that quite yet. I didn't forget, but literally** ** _every_** **time I go to write the Livwin chapter, I get writers block. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Ugh.**

 **HopelessRomantic: Okay, later. Thanks!**

 **L: Thank you! I know, I'm a** ** _very_** **funny person! Please give suggestions for Sophie and Biana spices. Thanks! It's a true story. Credit for the Harry Potter song goes to whoever wrote it 'cause honestly I'm too lazy to google it. Well I hope you are! I do not associate with normal people. Yes, I am doing that. Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **DangerousPie1: Hi! Like, a react, or an actual oneshot? I can do either, even though they've already reacted to Tiana. ...You... you sure about that?**

 **Charlotte O CATS KOTLC: Um... well it is sweet, yeah. Thank you for reviewing?**

 **Fluff: Okay then.**

 **Hi: Thanks!**

 **Guest: Umber? Part of the Neverseen, creepy shade shadow lady... have you read Flashback yet?**

 **Stylie! *Suggested by GB23***

 **Co-written by GB23. Though most of the credit goes to me.**

 **Glitterbutt23: Hey, we each did half!**

 **Me: Nope. Majority of the credit goes to me. Now, the react!**

Wylie: WHAT. IS. THIS?

Me: Heh heh heh heh... shipping you with Stina Heks.

Wylie: WHAT?!

Me: *Points at Glitterbutt23* Her idea!

Glitterbutt23: Yes I take full credit. Aren't I a genius?

Me: Sure... and Tam's not salty.

Glitterbutt23: DO NOT QUESTION ME! **(AN: She says this to me almost every day. Kind of annoying really.)**

Me: No no no. We're not questioning _you._ We're questioning your _sanity_.

Linh: Does... Stylie... mean... STINA with WYLIE!? *Floods room*

 **I'm sorry, there have been some technical difficulties. Please wait while we teleport to GB23's house. Thank you for your patience and understanding.**

Me: Linh I-don't-know-your-middle-name Song! Why did you destroy my house?

Linh: BECAUSE WYLIE IS MINE! ALL MINE!

Glitterbutt23: Wylie, go calm your girlfriend while we explain this to our parents.

Mrs. Glitterbutt (GB23's mom): WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE IN OUR HOUSE?!

Glitterbutt23: Relax, mom. They're just fictional characters from KOTLC!

Mrs. Glitterbutt: *Sighs* You kids...

All: *GASP* FORK MAN!

Mrs. Glitterbutt: What? Never mind, I don't want to know. Bye. Try not to destroy anything. *Leaves*

Me: What if we try but don't succeed?

Tam: *Appears* WYLIE ENDAL! ARE YOU CHEATING ON MY SISTER?! *Points saltshaker at Wylie*

Wylie: How... how are you going to hurt me with that?

Tam: _Never_ underestimate the power of... SALT!

Wylie: *Facepalms* And _this_ is going to be my brother someday.

Me/GB23/All fangirls reading: _**DID HE JUST PROPOSE**_ _ **?!**_

Wylie: *Blushes* No, I said I was _going_ to propose in the future. We're a little young for marriage right now.

Linh: ... ... ... *Almost floods the house in excitement*

Glitterbutt23: NO! Not another house!

Me: Hey. Stina should come. *Snaps fingers*

Stina: *Appears*

Glitterbutt23: HEY! Who invited _you?_

Me: Heh heh heh... *Raises hand*

Stina: So who are you shipping me with now?

Me: Wylie!

Stina: Ew no.

Linh: HEY! Wylie's amazing! How dare you suggest otherwise?!

Tam: ...Linh? Isn't it better if she _doesn't_ like him?

Linh: Oh yeah. *Whispers to Stina* _If you steal my boyfriend, I_ will _drown you._

Stina: Wasn't planning on it.

Linh: Good.

Glitterbutt23: Hey, I just realized Wylie hasn't screamed "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" _once_ this entire chapter!

Me: *Hisses* _Glitterbutt23!_

Wylie: Well honestly I learned it was useless. Also, the longer I'm here, the "Funnier" the chapter is. If the chapter is "funny", Fangirl gets more reviews. If she gets more reviews, she's happy! When she's happy, she's nice and won't make me do this as much!

Me: Wylie, Wylie, Wylie. I will _never_ be nice.

Wylie: Well then. *Grabs Linh's hand and light leaps away*

Me: Wait! I was just kidding! Of _course_ I'm nice!

Glitterbutt23: Cough No you're not Cough.

Me: Shut _up!_


	34. Chapter 33

**YES! I GOT 200 REVIEWS! YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!**

 **Stardust020: OF COURSE NOT! YES! But I mean, we already knew this, they're soooo in love. They're just too young right now. LYLIE 4 THE WINH! Oh, that's ok. I moved in with GB23! Thank you! No, no it isn't. Stylie is just one of GB23's MANY idiotic ideas. YAY! There's a TON of Sokeefe evidence and I NEVER lost hope... but what is the evidence you found?**

 **DangerousPie1: I can do a Tiana oneshot! I was planning to do one anyway... to make it up to the Tiana shippers who surely hate me now. Thanks!**

 **Keephie-13: Yep. Blame GB23. I will! And... okay then. Sure. You mean a** ** _chapter,_** **right? Not an actual story where they fall in love... blech. I've never met anyone who ships Sophie/Stina. What would their ship name be anyway? Stiphie? Sopha? HELP.**

 **Undecided13: LOL yes. It was originally an actual weapon... BUT THE SALTSHAKER IS SO MUCH BETTER XD! Yep you two are totally BFFs. Just out of curiosity, what do your** ** _real_** **friends think of your friendship with Tam? Of course not, I can't die before KOTLC is finished! ...Though KOTLC being** ** _un_** **finished is killing me... help. Good good good. Eh, GB23's not important... (offence intended GB23).** ** _I'm_** **the important one... bye.**

 **L: It won't. If it does I'll organize a protest. Yes yes she is. My house... at least I saved my books. You kids... EEP I KNOW I'M SO EXCITED EEEEEEEEEEE! Well now I have them. EEP! Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **TheWeird1: Thank you! Yeah that was a great part! (Complementing myself. And GB23. But mostly me.) I will! Well... I kinda am now... yeah Foskets is a pretty funny ship.**

 **Guest: Okay then.**

 **Other guest (Or are they the same person? THIS IS WHY I TELL YOU TO GIVE YOURSELF A NAME, PEOPLE!): Yesssssss Team Foster Keefe will** ** _ALWAYS_** **be cooler.**

 **KitKat: Yeah I remember you! Oof... that's sad :'(. But yay, you're back! Thank you! Okay! And oof... so sorry, you were #201.**

 **Guest #3 (Sophitz guest): Well I have been writing this for over two months... Hmm, I don't want to punch you. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to. It actually means a lot that a Sophitz shipper likes this, considering all the Sophitz bashing in early chapters.**

 **Guest #4: Thanks! :D**

 **Interview with Lady Galvin and Lady Cadence!**

 **I will be interviewing Galvin, while GB23 interviews Lady Cadence.**

 **Lady Galvin:**

Me: Hi!

Lady Galvin: Um, hello?

Me: You remember Sophie Foster, right?

Lady Galvin: Ugh, _her_? Kinda hard to forget your worst ever prodigy!

Me: Oh, I've been meaning to ask if you have the following elixirs. *Pulls out mile long list* 1) To make me know everything so I don't have to go to school. 2) To magically give me more reviews. 3) To force someone to do my math homework for me. 4) To-

Lady Galvin: I AM NOT GIVING YOU ANY OF THOSE!

Me: But you must give me a potion to make me travel into the future and read Legacy!

Lady Galvin: Just tell me why you're here so we can get this over with.

 **Lady Cadence:**

Glitterbutt23: Heh heh heh... I can't believe Fangirl is letting me conduct an interview on my own! She doesn't realize how stupid this is... heh heh heh...

Lady Cadence: Um, mind explaining why we're here?

Glitterbutt23: Hang on, I have to finish doing the evil laugh! *Evil laugh* Okay done!

Lady Cadence: *Backing away slowly...*

Glitterbutt23: *Tries and horribly fails to mimic Lady Cadence's voice* _Okay, so today I'm going to-_

Lady Cadence: That is the _worst_ mimicing I've ever heard. *Mimics GB23's voice* _Hi! I'm super annoying and will trap you here but never ever ever explain why!_

Glitterbutt23: Hey! I don't sound like that- well actually I do. But I don't say that!

Lady Cadence: No but you think it all the time.

Glitterbutt23: Since when are you a telepath?

Lady Cadence: I don't have to be. It's exceedingly obvious. Now, explain why we're here.

 **...**

Me and Glitterbutt23: TO REACT TO SHIPS!

 **Lady Galvin:**

Lady Galvin: WHAT?

Me: I give you two people and you tell me if they make a good couple!

Lady Galvin: I don't understand the purpose of this.

Me: To entertain my readers!

Lady Galvin: PEOPLE ARE READING THIS?!

Me: Yeah. Did I not mention?

Lady Galvin: ...

Me: Oh, silly me. I also forgot to mention that I control everything you do!

Lady Galvin: ...

 **Lady Cadence:**

Lady Cadence: What?

Glitterbutt23: I give you a ship and you tell me if it's good, like Keephie, or bad, like Sophitz.

Lady Cadence: ...

Me: *Communicating telepathically* _You have to explain what ships_ are, _you idiot!_

Glitterbutt23: HEY! My explanation was perfect!

Lady Cadence: Who... who are you talking to?

Glitterbutt23: My cognate, A very obsessed fangirl!

Lady Cadence: That's... an interesting name. But _Glitterbutt23_ is even worse.

Glitterbutt23: GLITTERBUTT23 IS A GREAT NAME! DO NOT QUESTION ME! OR THE AMAZINGNESS OF GLITTERBUTTS!

Lady Cadence: ...

 **Lady Galvin:**

Lady Galvin: So anyway, back to those... _ships_. What's the first one?

Me: First and totally best, KEEPHIE! In case you don't know, that's Sophie and Keefe.

Lady Galvin: Hmm... they're both insufferable and horrible at alchemy... but I'm kind of scared of what will happen if I have to mentor their child.

Me: If you ship them, I'll reward you by making sure the kid has a different mentor.

Lady Galvin: Deal!

*We shake hands*

Lady Galvin: What's the next ship?

Me: Sophie and Dex!

Lady Galvin: Hmm... they do say opposites attract...

Me: Sophie and Dex aren't opposites!

Lady Galvin: Well when you consider their alchemy skill...

Me: *Rolls eyes* Does your life revolve around alchemy?

Lady Galvin: Pretty much, yeah.

 **Lady Cadence:**

Glitterbutt23: So what do you think of the greatest ship in all shipping history, KEEPHIE!

Lady Cadence: YOU STILL HAVEN'T EXPLAINED WHAT THESE "SHIPS" ARE!

Glitterbutt23: I haven't?

Me: *Transmiting* _YOU HAVEN'T! TELL HER, YOU MORON!_

Glitterbutt23: Okay fine!

Lady Cadence: Your cognate again?

Glitterbutt23: Yep. A ship is like a couple.

Lady Cadence: Oh, okay! So... why do they call it "ships"?

Glitterbutt23: I don't know! So, Keefe and Sophie? Any thoughts? Hint: THEY ARE A GLORIOUS COUPLE!

Lady Cadence: I mean, they're cute together, I guess. They seem to _like_ each other...

Glitterbutt23: Yes yes they do.

Lady Cadence: I "ship" them, I guess.

Glitterbutt23: Great! What do you think of Dexphie? And if you ship it, fair warning, they sank like the Titanic.

Lady Cadence: SOPHIE AND DEX DROWNED?! Oh wait... everyone already thought they did... is that what you mean?

Glitterbutt23: No, Dex was rejected. And that's about the time his appreciation died.

Lady Cadence: Well if he was turned down they won't be a couple will they?

Glitterbutt23: No. But what do you _think_ of them?

Lady Cadence: Question: Who's Dex?

You, Me, and Glitterbutt23: ASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMQWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKL HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO DEX IS?! HE IS SO UNDERAPPRECIATED! WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY-

Lady Cadence: Okay, sorry. Sheesh. *Backs away*

Glitterbutt23: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?

 **Lady Galvin:**

Me: So, Fitz and Sophie.

Lady Galvin: Um, why not?

Me: WHY NOT? THERE ARE INFINITE REASONS WHY NOT! FIRST OF ALL-

Lady Galvin: Okay, I don't need to hear those reasons. Next ship.

Me: Sophie and Tam.

Lady Galvin: Tam. He's that one who _always adds salt_ to his elixirs. Way too much salt. Even when salt is nowhere in the recipe! WHAT IS IT WITH THAT GUY AND SALT?!

Me: *Stifling laughter* I don't know. Why is Tam so salty?

 **Lady Cadence:**

Glitterbutt23: Okay, I've recovered. I'm okay.

Me: *Transmits* _As okay as you ever are._

Glitterbutt23: Oh shut up. Lady Cadence, what do you think of the worst thing ever, Fitzphie!

Lady Cadence: Well if it's the worst thing ever I don't think it's very good.

Glitterbutt23: Sophie and Fitz?

Lady Cadence: Oh, definitely not good.

Glitterbutt23: Excellent. What about Sophie and Tam?

Lady Cadence: Have they ever expressed any romantic interest in each other whatsoever?

Glitterbutt23: Nope.

Lady Cadence: Don't think I ship it then.

 **...**

Me and Glitterbutt23: AND NOW, FOR OUR SPECIAL SURPRISE...

*We are all teleported into the same room (My house, which was somehow rebuilt)*

Me and Glitterbutt23: LADY GALDENCE!

Lady Galvin: Is this a ship?

Me: Nope! Just felt like doing it.

Lady Cadence: Well okay then.

Lady Galvin: This is kind of weird...

Lady Cadence: Yeah...

Lady Galvin: Lets go.

Lady Cadence: Okay.

Both: *Leave*

Me: Well they left us.

Glitterbutt23: What should we do now?

Me: Well I'm inviting Wylie.

Glitterbutt23: Why?

Me: I need to trap him here for next chapter.

Glitterbutt23: Okay then.

Both of us: *EVIL LAUGHTER!*

 **Wow, now this is my longest chapter! By about 100 words! Please review guys!**


	35. Chapter 34

**LOLUNEEDAREVIEW: Well, thanks for the reviews!**

 **SOLINH: Like, an actual fic? Or a chapter for this. 'Cause I already did a chapter... if you meant an actual story, I'll** ** _try_** **.**

 **WhyLylie: Well... you really want me to list** ** _all_** **the reasons? First of all, the two of them have a spark that's not just there because someone said "Wow" to Linh's ability. Wylie seems to like Linh for** ** _Linh_** **, not just because of her hydrokinesis. And he definitely likes her. In Nightfall, he steals glances at her, loves hanging out with her, and in Flashback he gets all protective of her. Also, don't forget, Linh was the first person to make Wylie smile after his kidnapping! I just think they're cute, they seem to like each other, and something that we don't know about may have happened while they hang out all the time!**

 **VehdReddy: Thanks!**

 **SOFITZ: That was a joke, and it was because our ship is going to win! YAY SOKEEFE! But you can have your own opinion, and you can definitely have a happy life! Like I said, that was just a joke.**

 **L: Thanks! Same! I HAVE NO IDEA! Yes, poor Dex *Too laxy to type out full name* Yes that was hilarious! I think about 1500 words. I meant it beat my previous record by 100 words. Sorry for the confusion! Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **Keephie-13: Well I actually didn't know until later. But you'll find out... later bwa ha ha ha ha! I'm posting... soon-ish... well, I'm posting now, okay! Yes yes it would XD.**

 **Stardust020: Thanks! Yep, it's very fortunate, though in this chapter I'm just hanging out at GB23's house. Well... I'm updating now... that's good enough, right?**

 **Undecided13: Oof, sorry! Hope you revive in time to review this chapter! And, you know, so you're alive. Lol yeah. Hmm, that's sad. Try to force them into it! GB23 wouldn't have read KOTLC if she hadn't stolen my copy of book one (I am** ** _still_** **mad about that!) Yeah so do I! It's like this big happy friend group where we all hate each other and are secretly wishing we could kill each other! Heh heh heh... IKR?! Your secret's safe with me... *Runs off to tell the universe* JK, I won't tell! Thanks!**

 **DangerousPie1: Yesssssssssssss salty Tam is the greatest thing on earth!**

 **MidnightBunny: Sorry! But I won't stop! Hmm, yeah, something like that. Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Wophie! (Wylie/Sophie) Written with GB23. At GB23's house even though mine was rebuilt.**

Wylie: Can I go _baaaaaaaaaaaack_!?

Me: To the lost cities? No! It'll be so hard to get you back here!

Wylie: No, to Glitterbutt23's room!

Glitterbutt23: Explain.

Wylie: After you so rudely trapped me-

Me: Oh shut up, it wasn't _that_ bad! I gave you mallowmelt!

Wylie: *Ignores me* -I had nothing to do. So I started reading some of her books. AND THEN YOU DRAGGED ME HERE RIGHT AFTER PERCABETH FELL INTO TARTARUS!

Glitterbutt23: Oh you poor poor thing. *We go to her room*

Glitterbutt23: Hey, where's Iggy the hamster? **(Not the hamsters actual name. But GB23 does have a hamster)**

Wylie: Oh, _that_. I set it free after it pooped on my head.

Glitterbutt23: You... YOU LOST MY HAMSTER!?

Me: Buy her a new one!

Iggy: No need, guys. I'm right here. You guys are such _drama_ queens!

Glitterbutt23: IGGY! YOU TALKED!

Iggy: Um, yeah, I've always talked. But thanks to author powers, you can understand me.

Me: Woah. So I'm doing this? YOU'RE WELCOME, WORLD!

Glitterbutt23: Wow, what if my dog can talk?

*We run downstairs*

Dog: Hi!

Me: Hi!

Glitterbutt23: ...omg...

Dog: Guess what? I am now scarred for life!

Me: Why?

*We run to the next room*

Keefe and Sophie: *Kissing*

Dog: Censored. Censored.

Fitz: *Opens door* Hey guys, what's- AAAAHHHHHHHHH! NO! SOPHIE! Don't kiss Keefe, kiss me!

Glitterbutt23: HEY! Didn't you read the sign? This is a SOPHITZ FREE ENVIRONMENT!

Me: You can read, right?

Tam: No I don't think he can. What do you think, Linh.

*Silence*

Tam: Linh?

Linh: *Is kissing Wylie*

Me: UGH! Why is everyone kissing?

Dex: Maybe it's a late Valentine's day thing?

Me: STOP! I rated this K+!

Biana: You know people can kiss in K+ stories, right?

Me: ...That's beside the point! We need to react to Wophie!

Keefe: That name though.

Glitterbutt23: Proof that it's not a very good ship. Good ships have good names! Like KEEPHIE! And WINH! And-

Me: Bam?

Glitterbutt23: *Attacks me* **(She is very against my partial shipping of Tiana)**

Me: BAM! IT'S TIANA! Be sure to read my story, A Tiana Oneshot!

*This does not make Glitterbutt23 very happy...*

Sophie: ...What should we do while they fight?

Tam: Leave?

Dex: Steal all of their food?

Keefe: Put gulons in their rooms?

Fitz: Ship sophitz?

Wylie: Read House of Hades?

Linh: Flood the house?

Biana: Makeover?

Sophie: No, sure, okay, absolutely not, sure, please don't, and OH NO!

Keefe: Well what if we react to ships?

All: *Stare at him*

Me: Yes that is exactly what we should do!

Biana: You're back!

Me: Yep! We had a minor disagreement *Cough* Her fault *Cough* but I'm okay!

Glitterbutt23: *Weakly* I'm not...

Me: This is why you don't fight someone who is almost a black belt! Idiot.

Glitterbutt23: Medic...

Me: Here's an imparter. Go call Elwin.

Linh: So I hate this ship, no offense Sophie.

Keefe: I hate it too, don't care if you take offense Wylie.

Wylie: Don't like the ship.

Sophie: Really not a fan of the ship.

Biana: Weird ship.

Dex: VERY weird ship.

Tam: *Shadow whispers to Wylie* You break my sister's heart and I'll kill you with a saltshaker.

 **What a great ending to the chapter! Tam threatening people with a saltshaker! Beautiful. Well, please review!**


	36. Chapter 35

**I am so sorry for the long wait, guys! Really sorry! Please don't hate me... or form a mob and come after me with saltshakers... I'll try to make this chapter extra good to make up for it! Key word: Try. It's _not_ going to make up for the two week wait. I'm really sorry. Well, I'll stop rambling about my patheticness and let you read the chapter... or the reviews for the chapter... JUST READ IT!**

 **OnChapterFour/OnChapter13Now: Oof sorry. TEAM FOSTER KEEFE WILL ALWAYS BE COOLER! But I guess you're allowed to have your own opinion. It is true. Very true. And sorry again. I'm trying to be nicer. I kinda ship Detz too! Don't worry, I ship soooooo many conflicting ships. Thanks!**

 **Guest: Thanks! I really appreciate that! Yay sokeefe! I'll totally be your friend, but the link you gave me didn't show up. Just tell me your name on the wiki. I'm TeamFosterKeefeWillAlwaysBeCooler.**

 **Maria: Sorry. Um... thanks? I guess? And NO WAY.**

 **Keephie-13: It is amazing! D: D: PERCABETH! That's the point, and thanks! Hey, saltshakers are _very_ dangerous!**

 **L: Yep. Poor him. I _almost_ feel bad. Probably... Thanks! I love it when people who ship different ships still like the story. Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **Undecided13: You- you will? Okay... Pepper. Salt. Pepper. And Fretty. Great. It's not _that_ annoying. Thanks! Also, GB23 was reading this over my shoulder. She plays guitar too. **

**DangerousPie1: Thanks! I KNOW.**

 **Stargirl020: Thanks! Six hours? (Sarcastically) What a tragedy... I HAD TO WAIT LIKE AN ENTIRE DAY! Oof they probably think you're a psycho. If they didn't already. Heh heh heh... is two weeks _soon?_ Sorry! I'm really sorry!**

 **Flowergirl15: Yep. Don't die! I'll miss your reviews! I mean, obviously not, but it was fun to write. Thanks!**

 **Sophie/Stina (Let's call it Stiphie)**

Sophie: Me... with HER?

Keefe: NO I CANNOT LOSE SOPHIE TO STINA!

Linh and Biana: Yep. Feel our pain. Stina is slowly stealing everyone.

Stina: Ew I don't want to be with Sophie. She's so weird.

Dex: So? Cool people like weird!

Stina: So all of you hate weirdness then?

Keefe: No no no of course not!

Wylie: Well I kinda do.

Glitterbutt23: WYLIE CAME HERE ON HIS OWN, WITH OUT BEING ASKED OR FORCED TO COME?!

Me: He stayed to read House of Hades. And Blood of Olympus. And Magnus Chase. Basically, all Rick Riordan books.

Glitterbutt23: Oh.

Me: HE WAS IN YOUR HOUSE! HOW DID YOU NOT REALIZE!?

Glitterbutt23: Heh heh heh... So explain why you "kinda do hate weirdness"!

Wylie: Simple. You two are the essence of weirdness. I hate you guys. Therefore I hate weirdness.

Me: HOW COULD YOU HATE US?!

Wylie: You really want ALL of my reasons? Because I have a LOT.

Me: How could anyone... hate _me?!_

Glitterbutt23: And... and _me?!_

Me: No, it's obvious why people hate _you._ But how could anyone hate _me?_

Stina, Wylie, and Tam: Well gosh I wonder.

Me: If you don't like me, you're free to leave.

Wylie: Wait, REALLY?

Me: Uh-huh.

Tam: Great!

Stina: See you never!

Wylie: Sayonara, peeps! And Linh I'll meet you in Atlantis at six, okay? Now where was I? Oh yeah... SAYONARA PEEPS!

*All three leave*

Glitterbutt23: Fangirl, how could you let this happen?

Me: Maybe I was feeling nice today. Now, DEX! What do you think of Stiphie?

Dex: BLECH NO!

Me: That wasn't a yes/no question...

Dex: That ship is hideously disgusting and horrible and *Discreetly googles "Synonyms for disgusting"* revolting, repellent, repulsive, sickening, nauseating, nauseous, stomach-churning, stomach-turning, off-putting, foul, and nasty.

Me: Wow.

Glitterbutt23: Hey Fangirl why do you keep checking your watch and glancing at the door?

Me: Any second now...

*Stina, Wylie, and Tam run in*

Tam: Don't go outside!

Wylie: Mob of evil Iggies!

Stina: No, it's beautiful outside! Go on out, Sophie!

Wylie and Tam: EVIL IGGIES!

Glitterbutt23: What color?

Stina: ALL OF THEM!

Me: This is why you don't mess with *Thunder*

Glitterbutt23: You know you're trying to be dramatic, but you look like an idiot.

Me: Shut up! *Thunder* FANGIRLS!

Glitterbutt23: So pathetic.

Me: *Stage whispers* _She's just jealous of my author powers!_

Marella: *Walks in* You might not want to go outside. A lot of Iggies.

Tam: OH REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW!

Marella: Anyway, what ship are we reacting to today?

Me: Stiphie!

Marella: Oh my... *Runs out of room*

Tam: IS SHE OKAY?

Me: She'll be fine. Everyone has a negative reaction to Stiphie.

Marella: *Returning* Sorry. Anyway, Stiphie is DISGUSTING!

Glitterbutt23: Yeah no kidding.

Biana: Even sparkles can't make it better!

Me: Is there anything else to be said about it?

*Silence* Guess not. Well, this chapter's over. Glitterbutt23, can you stay late to work on Cognate exercises- I mean, _homework._

Glitterbutt23: Sure!

Me: Bye!

*They leave*

Glitterbutt23: I can't believe they forgot about...

All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IGGIES!

Glitterbutt23: -That.

Me: I didn't have anything to do with it! Author powers surely aren't that powerful!

Iggies: *Break down door*

Me: Oh, alicorn poo.

Glitterbutt23: RUN FOR IT!

Me: Idiot. IGGIES! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!

Iggy leader: LOL no.

Me: You forgot about... AUTHOR POWERS! *Snaps fingers*

*Nothing happens*

Me: OH NO! THE IGGIES ARE TOO STRONG! WE HAVE TO LIGHT LEAP!

*Nothing happens*

Glitterbutt23: ALICORN POO! WE LIGHT-LEAP PROOFED THE HOUSE SO WYLIE COULDN'T LEAVE!

Me: *Turns to Wylie* THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

Wylie: Excuse me, WHO _BROUGHT_ THE IGGIES?

Me: *Whistling casually* Wasn't me...

Glitterbutt23: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE IGGIES!

*Marty the cat rides in on Silveny*

Marty the cat: IGGIES! *Throws bottle of red dye*

Iggies: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *All run out to catch the red dye*

Marty the cat: Problem solved.

All: O.O

Marty the cat: I was never here...

Silveny: *Flies away*

 **Well, I hope you liked it! Probably didn't make up for the two weeks... BUT I TRIED, OKAY? I promise I'll update faster for next chapter! Please review!**

 **Also I apologize for any typos: I was too lazy to proofread.**


	37. Chapter 36

**HAHAH: I KNOW IT'S AMAZING**

 **HAMILTON FANGIRL: You're welcome! HE WAS SHOT IN THE LIVER.**

 **Unknown Fangirl: Okay... believe whatever you like. You're welcome!**

 **L: Okay... yeah it's sad when that happens. It is. Yes it was _totally_ Dex and not me... I know, I loved that part.**

 **BookLover3212019: Thanks! That's... a lot of shipping info. I also hate Fitz, yeah... Thanks!**

 **Undecided13: Great! Thanks! I'm pretty sure GB23 responded to that by PM... on my account.**

 **DangerousPie1: Thanks! I guess Iggies did the trick. I hope... *Sigh***

 **Keephie-13: Great! Oh no, the saltshakers! I won't. Um, you can, but they're all psychos...**

 **Important announcement: Glitterbutt23 wrote something, a story called Diana or Bam? Based off of the song in the earlier chapters: _Diana or Bam, Diana or Bam, but if you had to choose_ (A parody to Hamilton election of 1800).**

 **Other important announcement: I will be updating every Sunday from now on. Even though today isn't Sunday. _Someone *_ Cough GB23 Cough* took forever writing it.**

 **Disclaimer: This chapter was written by GB23. Fangirl has a lot of homework to do. Sadly. Please read her story Diana or Bam. -A Very Obsessed Fangirl**

 **Tam and Marella**

Tam: Is this a TIANA ship?

Me (GB23): No, child.

Tam: I'm older than you!

Me: Yes but you're still a child.

Tam: What do you mean not a Tiana ship? Every ship should be Tiana!

Me: But it's Tarella!

Marella: I SHIP IT!

Tam: Wait... If you... ship it... does... that.. mean... you... LIKE ME!?

Marella: *face palms* Yes Tam, that's exactly what it means.

Sophie: AAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I ship it!

Dex: I ship it too!

Keefe: I guess I ship it. It would've been better if Tam just I don't know...DIED IN A HOLE! But this is okay too.

Tam: NO! This is not okay! Who ships this?

Me: About half of the fandom.

Tam: WHAT!

Me: It's true...

Marella: Really? Do you ship it?

Me: I wish I could tell you but that would ruin the ending for DIANA OR BAM?

Biana: I'm neutral. For most of the ships... even DIANA AND BAM!

Dex: YEH LIED TO MEH!

Biana: Dex, I didn't marry you. That is what dating is for, so I can see if I like you better than Tam.

Dex and Tam: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?!

*Dex and Tam start wrestling*

Me: Ummm... Biana? That was unnecessary.

Biana: What, I had to tell them the truth.

Marella: That Tam is mine?

Biana: NO! That I don't know who to chose.

Marella: Oh. Well... TAM IS MINE! BACK OFF BIANA!

*Marella and Biana start "girl fighting"*

Sophie: Welcome to MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING! Today we have two pairs of wrestlers! Biana and Marella wrestling over boys and Tam and Dex wrestling over girls!

Me: AD BREAK! IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, CHECK OUT MY STORY DIANA OR BAM!

A very obsessed fangirl: STOP! YOU'VE ADVERTISED YOUR STORY TWENTY TIMES ALREADY! Why are you even in this story?

Me: I'm writing it!

A very obsessed fangirl: BUT IT"S MY STORY!

Me: Yeah, but you have homework!

A very obsessed fangirl: *cries and walks away*

Me: TELLA FOREVER! DIANA FOREVER! DEXELLA! BAM! I WON"T SPOIL THE ENDING OF DIANA OR BAM! BY THE WAY GO READ THAT NOW! AND PLEASE REVIEW!

 **Well, hope you liked it! Please review, and be sure to read my other story, Legacy. What is a Legacy?**


	38. Chapter 37

**Ack! I'm so sorry I took forever AGAIN! I've had a TON of homework lately (more than should be LEGAL) and I'm under a lot of stress, I really just didn't have the time. AND my sister is using the computer a lot, so I can't even use it that much. Also: Writer's Block. I really am running out of ships.**

 ***** ** _Why do you write like you're running out of ships?*_**

 **But I'll talk more about that at the end.**

 **Kotlcfnagirl13: IKR**

 **Undecided13: Don't you like almost every ship? But yeah that ship is okay. I'll tell her.**

 **L: Yay! It is a fun story. Me too... but what about DEXELLA?!**

 **Stargirl020: I'll tell her**

 **DangerousPie1: IKR! But does GB23 listen? Noooo... I'll tell her anyway.**

 **Keephie-13: I wrote some notes someone will sing for me (Because I can't sing). Exactly! Bam is way better, especially the ship name lol.**

 **And now, without further ado (What does that even mean?)...**

 **DOVER!**

Linh: Dover?

Tam: What is this?

Me: The glorious ship...

Glitterbutt23: Of Dex...

Both of us: AND THE COVER!

Dex: YES! I NEED THIS SHIP! PLEASE SHANNON PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

GB23: Fangirl you know you're supposed to write him as Dex and not you.

Me: Hey, we all know Dex is dying for some appreciation!

Keefe: Wait why aren't people begging for _ME_ on the cover!? Don't they want to see *Pauses for dramatic effect* the HAIR?! And I need to continue having more book covers than Wonderboy! I haven't been on a cover since 2017!

Fitz: So? I haven't been on one since 2016, and I look ugly on it!

Me: You really do.

Glitterbutt23: Truly.

Me: We were seriously questioning why Sophie has ever described you as "handsome".

Sophie: His eyes... so teal...

Me: BUT BIANA'S EYES ARE TEAL!

Keefe: AND ICE BLUE IS PRETTIER!

Fitz: Anyway, my point is, I should be on the next cover.

Biana: You guys are such drama queens, I haven't been on a cover since 20 _15_!

Dex: Guys.

Dex: I was on the cover of book 1.

Dex: Only book one.

Dex: Back in 2012. **(Is that right?)**

Dex: I don't want to hear your complaints.

Dex: Also I'm talking to myself.

Me: Well technically I'm writing all of this so I'm always talking to myself.

Dex: True.

Dex: Also, by doing this you are giving me the most lines, therefore making me relevant.

Me: YOU'RE WELCOME WORLD!

Glitterbutt23: Hey, let's see what Wylie and Marella think of this!

Me: Marella first.

Linh: THANKS.

Tam: But why?

Me: Easy stuff first. The procrastination motto.

Tam: Okay then.

Marella: *Magically appears* Oh, you guys again. What's the ship this time?

Me: Dex and cover. Or, DOVER!

Marella: He's only been on a cover once. So? I've NEVER been on a cover! I should be the one shipped with the cover! MOVER FOR LIFE! Also, DEX IS MINE!

Biana: But don't you like Tam?

Marella: Well that was last chapter.

Tam: So?

Marella: The _true_ author wasn't writing it. Her *Glances at GB23* _friend_ was. And I'm actually undecided, leaning towards DEX!

Dex: See someone appreciates my worth!

Biana: But I do too!

Dex: Wow, two whole people! Who else worships me?

Entire fandom: *Raises hand*

Dex: Wow.

Dex: All these fans.

Dex: WOW.

*Biana and Marella start aggressively fighting the fangirls*

Biana and Marella: BACK OFF, HE'S SORT OF MINE.

Me: Okay, ladies, calm down.

Biana and Marella: Never! FOR DEX!

Tam: Hey what about me?

Tam's fangirls: Don't worry Tam, WE love you!

Biana and Marella: Oh no you don't. HE'S ALSO SORT OF MINE! FOR TAM!

Me: Yeah I'm gonna have to stop the chapter right now before someone dies. I'll probably have a lot of paperwork to fill out if that happens, and I _cannot_ deal with that right now.

 **So, I've started the inanimate object ships! But once I'm done with those, I am really running out of ships. So...**

 **Yes, the story is almost done. You may mourn now. *People shrug* Fine. But anyway, if you have any ships that you REALLY want me to do, please tell me and I promise I'll do one.**

 **But I have something very special planned for the final chapter!**

 **And, as I mentioned earlier, my schedule is NUTS this month. Please don't expect regular updates. I'll update Legacy soon though, but you won't get any until Wednesday next week. I have a huge math test on Tuesday I need to study for, plus a lot of other homework. I'll try to keep updates as quick as possible though.**

 **Anyway, please review!**


	39. Chapter 38

**LoganRecord: Thanks, I will!**

 **Fluff: Lol yeah I was going to do that one. Thanks!**

 **L: Yeah, Marella could be with Jensi. I had a Diana or Bam crisis earlier, but I've decided Diana seems more platonic to me. It's definitely still cute though! He absolutely does. Yeah, that seems correct. There's a theory that Keefe was the Neverseen guy on Lodestar though. Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **Glitterbutt23: Yes I will. Very painfully.**

 **Undecided13: Thanks! HE REALLY DOES, IT'S SO SAD. Me too. Yeah, probably, I'm hoping for Dex, Keefe, Marella, and Sophie on book 8, and Sophie, Biana, and someone else on book 9. It's so sad... why do these teachers give us homework, don't they understand MY FANS NEED ME!? Yay! I know...**

 **DangerousPie1: It does. DOVER FOREVER!**

 **Hi! I'm only a few days late, so... yay me! And I realized, ever since I've said I'll update on Sundays, I've been updating on Tuesdays/Wednesdays. That's really pathetic. Anyway... the ship is...**

 **CHANDELITZ!**

Fitz: Excuse me, what? I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS!

Me: *Pulls out thousand page book* According to the laws of shipping...

Glitterbutt23: Page 23...

Me: Paragraph 2...

Glitterbutt23: Here it is!

Me: _In the event that a teal-eyed elf boy is levitating, and gets caught in a chandelier..._

Glitterbutt23: _The boy in question is agreeing..._

Me, Glitterbutt23: _TO BE SHIPPED WITH IT!_

Dex: That's... strangely specific.

Fitz: WHAT?! NOT TRUE! I DEMAND TO SEE THE PAPER! *Snatches it and reads* It's true!? *Rips it to shreds* Now it's not.

Me: HEY! I NEED THE LAWS OF SHIPPING!

Glitterbutt23: How dare you? But anyway... you agreed to this. Now, everyone...

Me: 3,2,1, REACT!

Biana: It's soooooo cute! Chandelitz for life!

Fitz: I GET CAUGHT IN A CHANDELIER ONE TIME PEOPLE! _ONE TIME!_

Me: Once was enough, apparently.

Fitz: But I don't even like the chandelier!

Glitterbutt23: The chandelier likes you...

Chandelier: Ikr? His teal eyes...

Biana: You know _I_ have teal eyes too, right?

Dex, Tam: Does that mean you want to be shipped with the chandelier?

Biana: No, my heart will forever belong to...

Dex: _She's gonna say me!_

Tam: _She's gonna say me!_

Me: _She's choosing!_

Glitterbutt23: _Jefferson or Burr?_

Sophie: _Please say Dex._

Linh: _Please say Tam._

Fitz: _I thought my eyes were_ special!

Chandelier: _What does she mean, she doesn't want to be shipped with me? EVERYONE WANTS TO BE SHIPPED WITH ME!_

Marella: _Yay, now_ I _can choose too!_

Keefe: _When's lunch?_

Biana: ...sparkles.

All: WHAT?!

Dex: BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY _ME!_

Tam: BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY _ME!_

Keefe: WHEN IS LUNCH?!

Sophie: Omg, I ship it! The ship name is... what is the ship name?

Me: Sparkana?

Biana: Good enough. *Throws glitter like confetti*

Chandelier: Wait shouldn't we talk about... CHANDELITZ!?

Me: WE SHOULD!

Glitterbutt23: Fitz obviously likes the chandelier...

Me: I mean how would he get caught in a chandelier if he wasn't trying to?

Fitz: I do _not_ like the chandelier! I'm just... bad at levitating!

Biana: Mmmhmm. Sure. Chandelitz is my forever OTP, by the way.

Fitz: *Whines* Why am I so bad at levitating?

Me: Because you subconsciously wanted to be shipped with the chandelier! DUH!

Fitz: Um...

Glitterbutt23: Don't deny it.

Chandelier: You know it's true...

Keefe: You're always in denial land, Fitz.

Sophie: Why deny yourself this chance at happiness?

Biana: I've always wanted our chandelier as a... sibling in law.

Dex: Wonderboy, you've found true love.

Tam: Just accept it.

Marella: Honestly, Fitz. You agreed to this.

Linh: We want you to be happy, Fitz.

Fitz: FINE! I AM IN LOVE WITH A CHANDELIER! HAPPY?

Me: Very. Now, go get married. I want to be your flower girl, and can you name your first child after me?

Fitz: I'm not naming our first child "A very obsessed fangirl".

Me: BUT I BROUGHT YOU TOGETHER!

Chandelier: Maybe our second child.

Me: *Pouts* Fine. Come on guys, let's give them some space.

*As we leave, Fitz yells*

Fitz: WAIT! HOW DO I KISS A CHANDELIER?!

 **Lol, I hope you enjoyed! This was a really fun chapter to write, and I hope you enjoyed the Chandelitz fluff!**

Keefe: HOLD UP, YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHEN LUNCH WAS!

Me: It's 9 at night. We're not having lunch.

Keefe: MAYBE I LIVE IN A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE!

Me: Oh yeah. Have some pizza. *Snaps fingers, and a pizza appears*

Keefe: *Bows* My hero.

 **Okay, now we're done. Next chapter will probably be Sparkana. If you want the laws of shipping to make a reappearance, please let me know. Legacy, What is a Legacy will most likely be updated tomorrow or Thursday. If you haven't already, and you're a Hamilton fan, please read my other story, Hamilton References. I think that's it! Please review!**


	40. Chapter 39

**L: He might be. Yep. Poor Fitz, but it is funny! Yeah it kinda is like that (No idea if you spelled it right). Yeah, that was probably my favorite part. They should... I should probably _write_ them shouldn't I? Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **Sloth god: Thanks!**

 **Undecided13: Um, thanks... I think? Probably... but that was more fun. Okay!**

 **Stargirl020: YEP! Okay! Thanks! IKR, it is amazing. I ship myself with mallowmelt!**

 **LoganRecord: Yeah...**

 **Keephie-13: It is, isn't it? Thanks! Those were pretty funny XD. When is lunch? About six hours ago, for me anyway.**

 **BookLover3212019: Yes, exactly! Those are okay... you could, hypothetically, just multiship. Some people ship Tam/Wylie, so you could do something like Keephie, Chandelitz, Wytam, Diana, Marellinh, and just keep Jensi lonely or something like that. Thanks! I update (roughly) every week... I actually ship Tam/Salt.**

 **DangerousPie1: Yeah Fitz, you agreed to it, now deal with it. Um, I can write the whole thing, maybe. I need it too... sadly, I haven't written it yet. If you have any ideas for laws, tell me.**

 **Happy April Fool's day, everyone! A little over 7 months until Legacy comes out! tHiS iS tOrTuRe...**

 **Sparkana!**

Biana: WHOOOOOOO! MY FAVORITE SHIP! *Throws sparkles like confetti*

Dex: I can't believe she chose _sparkles_ over _me_!

Sophie: I know, right? Biana how dare you hurt my precious cinnamon roll Dexy like that?!

Biana: B-But _sparkles!_

Sophie: But Dexy!

Dex: Sophie, please don't call me Dexy.

Sophie: Nonsense. Dexy is my precious cinnamon roll, and you do _not_ betray him for _sparkles!_

Glitterbutt23: She made her choice. And at least it's better than Biana leaving him for Tam.

Tam: I can't believe she chose _sparkles_ over _me!_

Keefe: I can.

Tam: HEY!

Keefe: I mean, anyone in their right mind would chose a _trash bag_ over you, Bangs Boy.

Me: Wait, aren't there some Kam shippers out there?

Keefe: When have I ever said I was in my right mind? *Winks* But fear not, I would never leave Foster.

Sophie: *Blushes*

Biana: *Rolling around in sparkles*

Me: Hey, we haven't seen Wylie for like, 3 chapters! This is a mistake we must correct!

Linh: *Facepalms*

Wylie: Ugh, I though I was rid of you.

Me: NEVER!

Wylie: What ships is this?

Biana: SPARKANA!

Wylie: Which is...

Tam: *Grumbles* Biana and sparkles.

Wylie: But sparkles aren't even a PERSON. Or... elf. Or whatever.

Me: Yep.

Wylie: I'm confused.

Glitterbutt23: Yep.

Wylie: You guys are weird.

Me: Yep.

Wylie: Why are you shipping Biana with sparkles?

Glitterbutt23: Yep.

Wylie: Wait that wasn't even a yes/no question!

Me: Yep.

Wylie: This is ridiculous.

Glitterbutt23: Yep.

Wylie: I'm leaving.

Me: Ye- WAIT, WHAT? NO!

Wylie: Darn, I almost thought I'd get away with that! Apparently you're not as stupid as I thought.

Glitterbutt23: Yep!

Me: Never underestimate me. It makes me feel sad about how true it is.

Fitz: What did I miss?

Me: Seventeen.

Glitterbutt23: Se-se-seventeen.

Me: Se-se-seventeen.

Me, Glitterbutt23: SEVENTEEN EIGHTY NINE.

Fitz: I see you guys are being weird as ever.

Me: OH YOU'RE ONE TO TALK ABOUT WEIRDNESS, Mr. Dating-a-chandelier!

Fitz: But didn't you make me do that?

Glitterbutt23: _Details._

Biana: Oh yeah, about that. Fitz could date the chandelier. I want to actually date sparkles.

Me: Fine. *Snaps fingers*

*All the sparkles come together and form a human (elvin?) shape*

Me: Happy?

Biana: *Squeals* Hello, I'm Biana Vacker, and you are my one true love. Now, let's get married. *Grabs the sparkle-person's hand and starts walking away*

Sparkle-person: Help.

Me: Biana, I'm kinda gonna have to break you up eventually... we have to resolve Diana or Bam.

Marella: Yeah, and then we have to resolve Dexella or Tella.

Tam, Dex: Hmm, now that Biana's taken...

Marella: Oh no.

Tam, Dex: Oh YES.

Marella: Oh no. I _liked_ having boys not fighting wars over me!

Me: Too bad.

 **Well, hope you liked it! Please read my other stories, as well as Diana or Bam? by Glitterbutt23. Any ideas for shipping laws are welcomed. Next chapter I believe will be Tam/Salt. Also, please vote on either my poll or GB23's. I COMMAND YOU TO REVIEW! (Pretty please?)**


	41. Chapter 40

**I GOT 10000 VIEWS! YES! YES! HAPPINESS!**

 **FangirlpianoARMY507: YAY! TEAM FOSTER-KEEFE FOREVER! Thank you, have you voted on the poll? Same...**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: Thank you! I'm glad people really enjoy my story! SAME! Have you seen Hamilton? Yeah, I think at this point Hamilton references are just programmed into my brain. We're all crazy here, don't worry. I try to update as regularly as possible but I fail, sorry. Thanks though! Hmmm... YAY! I WILL turn you, JUST YOU WAIT. Tbh, Sokeefe seems more likely. Also, even if it is less likely doesn't mean you shouldn't ship it! You're welcome! It's fine, I've read longer.**

 **SeaPickleMofia: Thanks!**

 **TheCrazyKotlcFan: Thanks! Please vote on the poll if you haven't already.**

 **HopelessRomantic: Thank you so much! I'm glad I wrote it too! Thanks!**

 **Stargirl020: Ah, laziness... I know it well. Thank you! SPARKANA FOREVER**

 **Guest: Thanks! Poor Wylie... *Cackles maniacally* *Coughs***

 **LoganRecord: Okay then. Thanks.**

 **Undecided13: I... don't... know... ? Thanks! Ugh, it really does suck. I guess I'm doing okayish... (GB23 comes and says "NO you're failing and I slap her...) THREE MONTHS?! How about three... seconds? I don't like heat either, but no school and I get to see camp friends, so YAY SUMMER!**

 **Special announcement: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEE! *No one cares* Oh... okay then. Enjoy the chapter!**

 **Tam/Salt:**

Tam: How can I date the salt if... I AM THE SALT!

Fitz: Tam you're salty but you are not salt.

Tam: HOW DARE YOU?

Linh: He actually randomly explodes into salt. It's pretty annoying.

Dex: But fear not.

Keefe: He is...

Everyone who's read Diana or Bam?: TAM THE SALT PHOENIX!

Fitz: Uh huh. _Suuuuuuure._

Tam: YOU DARE DOUBT... THE SALTINESS?

Fitz: Yep.

Tam: *Explodes into salt*

Fitz: I KILLED TAM? Heh heh whoopsy?

Sophie: Nah he'll be fine. Just wait.

Glitterbutt23: JUST YOU WAIT.

Me: JUST YOU-

Me, Glitterbutt23: WAIT.

Marella: Sorry I'm late. So what's going on? Why are Fangirl and GB23 acting like weirdos- wait they always are, never mind. But where's Tam?

Dex: *Points at salt pile* Over here.

Marella: HE DIED?

Keefe: No he just randomly explodes into salt. Should be reviving anytime now...

Tam: TAM THE SALT PHOENIX!

Biana, Marella: *Tackle hug Tam* YAY YOU'RE ALIVE! THANK GOODNESS!

Dex: GRRRRRRRRRRR.

Me: Don't worry Dex, it's only because Tam exploded. They'll be back to indecision in no time. And then Biana will choose Tam and you'll find happiness with Marella- Uh, you didn't hear anything.

Glitterbutt23: BUT FEAR NOT! DIANA OR BAM IS NOT SPOILED! BECAUSE I'M THE IMPORTANT ONE, AND I'M STILL CHOOSING!

Me: Yes yes... "Important"...

Glitterbutt23: Shut up.

Dex: So if I explode they'll like me?

Sophie: Um, you might not want to explode...

Keefe: You see, we have no idea if you'll revive...

Sophie: We also don't know what you'll explode into...

Keefe: Or how to make you explode.

Dex: *Shrugs* We'll figure it out.

Fitz: And by "we" you mean...

Dex: Fangirl.

Me: Nah, I have no idea how to make you explode. But look! **(Guys, this is fake. Don't get excited)** DOVER IS CANON!

Dex: *Explodes into cinnamon*

Me: Ah, cinnamon. I should've known...

Glitterbutt23: I should've known...

Me, Glitterbutt23: THE WORLD WAS WIDE ENOUGH-

Wylie: I'm going to have to stop you right there.

Me: YOU'RE HERE?

Glitterbutt23: WITHOUT US FORCING YOU?

Wylie: I heard people were exploding and decided to take Linh away from the... author powers.

Tam: Linh is perfectly capable of leaving on her own-

Wylie: Yeah but the psychopaths will only let her leave if it's on a date.

Me, Glitterbutt23: LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Wylie: See? It worked! *Grabs Linh's hand and light leaps away*

Glitterbutt23: Darn, they tricked us!

Biana, Marella: *Have finally realized Dex exploded* OH NO, DEX!

Biana: Will he revive?

Marella: I'm not quite sure...

Fitz: Ooh, cinnamon! YUMMY!

Me: That's DEX! Don't eat Dex!

Fitz: Whoops.

Dex: HEY! WERE YOU TRYING TO EAT ME, WONDERBOY?!

Fitz: Um. Nooooooooo...

Biana, Marella: *Tackle hug Dex* YAY YOU'RE ALIVE! THANK GOODNESS!

Tam: GRRRRRRRR.

Dex: I guess they just like me better.

Tam: *Explodes into salt*

Me: Ugh, not again. *Snaps fingers*

Tam: Hug?

Biana, Marella: GROUP HUG! *Try to hug both Dex and Tam*

Dex: Ugh, I don't want to hug SALTYBOY!

Tam: Ugh, I don't want to hug TECHNONERD?

Biana: BOYS!

Dex, Tam: Sorry Biana.

Sophie: So, in summary, Tam is not shipped with salt, as he _is_ salt, Tam and Dex are still fighting over girls, and Fangirl and GB23 are still quoting Hamilton.

Glitterbutt23, out of nowhere: AND PEGGY!

 **Peggy is underappreciated... Like Dex... I ship them now. Perfect logic. Please review, because as mentioned previously, iT's My BiRtHdAy! Vote on the poll of who Biana is shipped with (On either mine or GB23's profile). Read my other stories and GB23's story.**

 **Please review!**


	42. Chapter 41

**Wow, I got a ton of reviews! Thanks, guys! Especially Nom Nom Fish (You should totally get an account btw).**

 **Keephie-13: Maybe? Thanks!**

 **DangerousPie1: Thanks! Me too...**

 **Stargirl020: Thanks! GO TAM (Not my idea though)**

 **BookLover3212019: Exactly. Thank you! Maybe! See ya!**

 **Cressida123: Thanks! We shall!**

 **L: Thanks! Not too late, only a few days.**

 **L (ch. 41): Yeah. Thanks! Ooh, yummy! Hmm. That's true, but... DOVER! Yep. Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **L (ch. 40): Great solution! Yeah, fun part... that was pretty great. Ah, the Keefe/Tam _B_ romance is just too great. Nah, back to Biana. Cause why not? Anyway, I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 33): Oof. Well, you probably are crazy, but...**

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 41): Thanks! Wasn't my idea (credit to my idiot friend GB23), but yeah. Idk either, Deggy is fine *I guess***

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 16) ALL OF THEM.**

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 15): Thanks! OH NO! Tie them up and play the soundtrack really loud. Should work. That's what I did to GB23 (No I didn't. As far as you know...). ~A. Fan.**

 **Nom nom fish (ch.14): YEAH! Ah yes the potatoes XD.**

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 13): Hi! Yay! You're welcome! I think I did... April 9th is Unicorn Day? I could've been born on unicorn day? But noooooooo, I was born on SIBLINGS day. :(. It is a pretty good line. GO SALTY BEANS!**

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 7): You're welcome! Thanks! Maybe you should add "An American Musical" so it doesn't sound so weird. HOW DARE SHE? It's fine, (as you may have noticed) I love reviews.**

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 6): HAMILTON! You're very welcome! Hmm, how about... KOTLC has awesomeness, Twilight has none. (Sorry if you like twilight).**

 **Nom nom fish (ch. 4): Me too! (Kinda, I can't decide for Dex). It could be, I guess? Ship it like FedEx!**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: Yay! I love (virtual) custard bursts! Thanks! Neither have I, but I'm going to in June. I would've seen it OVER A YEAR AGO if GB23 had TAKEN ME WITH HER TO SEE IT! Oof. It really should. Neither ship name is good... we'll think of something. Thanks! It wasn't my exact birthday, but you're welcome! I don't mind.**

 **Undecided13: Thanks! It wasn't my exact birthday, but it was close. It was pretty fun to write! Yeah, not important at all. Me too! I mean, it's APRIL already! PLEASE SHOW US THE COVER SHANNON! Okay, I will at some point! Annoyingness... well if I can tolerate GB23 I can tolerate anything.**

 **LoganRecord: Thanks! I believe so!**

 **Great ship this week! Drumroll please...**

 **Keefe/Hair!**

Keefe: Hunkyhair can be the ship name!

Biana: But it's YOUR nickname!

Keefe: Right, but the hair is- well, _hair_ ,

Sophie: Keefe no.

Keefe: And _I_ am hunky!

Everyone in the entire universe: *Facepalms*

Sophie: It's true though.

Keefe: It is. That's why it's a great ship name.

Dex: But _I_ want to be hunky! Teach me your ways!

Tam: I'm already hunky. *Bangs flip* That's why Biana will choose ME!

Dex: NO!

Tam: YES!

Dex: NO!

Tam: You've already admitted that you're not hunky like me *Bangs flip*

Dex: But I have the DIMPLES!

Tam: BUT I HAVE THE _BANGS_!

Dex: But I can build Biana cool stuff!

Tam: But I have shadowflux superpowers!

Dex: But I'm a cinnamon roll!

Tam: But I have an awesome sister that Biana would want for a sister in law!

Linh: Woah, Tam.

Fitz: Wait, was that a proposal?

Dex: NO! I WANT TO PROPOSE!

*The boys begin shoving each other to kneel in front of Biana*

Keefe: Well, I've never actually proposed to anyone, *Looks at Sophie* ***YET*** but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to give her a ring.

Dex: HA! I've already given her a ring!

Tam: N-NO! *Somehow makes ring out of shadowflux (don't ask)* IF YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR HIS RING WEAR MINE TOO!

Biana: Aren't those things dangerous?

Tam: No, not always. They're made with an emotion. If the emotion is negative, like anger, it can be really painful. But your ring contains the emotion of my UNDYING LOVE!

Dex: WELL MY LOVE IS MORE UNDYING THAN YOURS!

Tam: NO WAY! MY LOVE IS THE UNDYING-EST OF ALL LOVE!

Keefe: Yeah, _suuuuuuuuure._ *Kisses Sophie* Maybe yours is _second_ most.

Dex: No, MINE is second most!

Tam: No, my love for Biana is the second strongest love in history!

Biana: You aren't even going to TRY to argue that yours is stronger than Keefe's?

Tam: *Gestures to Keephie* What ship could compete with that?

Biana: True. Very true. I can't exactly say any ship is better than my OTP.

 **I used 300 words on the Diana or Bam argument. Wow.**

Sophie: Back to hunkyness, Dex. Don't worry. You aren't "hunky", but you're cute!

Biana: Yeah!

Dex: She called me cute! *Faints into Keefe's arms*

Keefe: Dex, you've been eating too much mallowmelt.

Fitz: OH IS HE TOO HEAVY FOR YOU?

Keefe: Nah. *Shifts Dex to one arm and flexes muscles*

Dex: *Wakes up* She called me cute?

Biana: Um, yeah. You are!

Tam: GRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Biana: And Tam is **HOT**.

Tam: She called me hot! *Faints into Linh's arms*

Linh: Uh, Tam, sorry, but you're a little heavy...

Tam: *Wakes up* OH SORRY LINH DID I HURT YOU?! **(Okay guys you can imagine Tam freaking out if he thinks he hurt Linh, right?)**

Linh: No, it's fine-

Me: Back to Keefair?

Keefe: Hunkyhair?

Me: Keefair.

Keefe: Well I do love my hair!

Everyone else: We know.

Keefe: But I also love Foster...

Me: CHOOSE SOPHIE OR I'M SHAVING YOUR HAIR!

Keefe: Of course I'll choose Sophie!

Sophie: GOOD.

Fitz: Dang it.

Linh: Obviously.

Keefe: I would even shave my hair to make her happy!

Sophie: *Blushes* REALLY?

Keefe: Yep.

Tam: Do it then.

Keefe: No.

Fitz: Yes.

Keefe: NO!

Fitz: Do it, do it, do it.

Keefe: Well, I'll do it if it makes Sophie happy. Would that make you happy, Miss Foster.

Sophie: It'll grow back, right?

Dex: Well, eventually...

Me: Don't worry, I'll use author powers at the end of the chapter.

Sophie: Then do it.

Keefe: FINE!

Fitz: Hang on, Ro is going to want to see this.

Biana: And how exactly are we going to remove his hair?

Dex: I get him a balding serum. And get Ro.

Keefe: Not Ro, please.

Tam: NO MERCY.

Keefe: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Dex: I'm BACK! WITH RO!

Ro: Hey, I remember you! Are you going to remove Keefe's hair?

Me: YEP.

Ro: Cool! Can I have popcorn?

Me: Yep! *Snaps fingers*

Ro: Cool! Well, let's get on with it. I don't have all day, you know.

Dex: Here!

Keefe: Cheers.

Me: RAISE A GLASS TO FREEDOM!

Keefe: *Drinks* Something I will never see again...

Ro: THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!

Keefe: THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER!

Sophie: Now I know Keefe truly loves me.

Keefe: That is accurate.

Fitz: You look... great... Keefe. *Trying really really hard not to laugh*

Dex: *Taking photos*

Biana: *Throwing sparkles like confetti*

Tam: *Throwing salt like confetti*

Keefe: HEY COOL IT WITH THE SALT, BANGS BOY! YOU'LL GET IT IN MY H- oh yeah.

Me: Don't worry, the chapter is coming to a close.

Keefe: THANK YOU!

Me: It'll have to wait until after the author's note, I'm afraid.

 **Well, I hope you liked it! I'm going to be rambling for a while, so if you want to skip to where Keefe gets his hair back, feel free.**

 **Wow! I'm almost at 300 reviews, guys! This is awesome! Now compare this to when I started writing this... Then: I'm updating almost every day and I think I might actually get 50 reviews, wow! Now: HAHAHAHA I'm updating like once a week and I'm about to get 300 reviews. (The difference though)**

 **Happy spring break! Happy Easter to people who celebrate! Have a... "fun" time with Passover for Jewish people (I feel your pain guys) (GB23 if you taunt me I will force feed you matzah).**

 **Please review because I am almost at 300!**

Keefe: Are we done yet?

Me: Yep! *Snaps fingers*

Keefe: HALLELUJAH!

 **Please review!**


	43. Chapter 42

**GuestMarella: BURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!**

 **LunaLovegood397: Uh, try not to die. That would probably make me a murderer... aren't you a crazy person? TAM THE SALT PHOENIX FOREVER! We all do. Thanks!**

 **L: Yeah... it's true though. HORAY FOR KEEPHIE! They are. Thanks!**

 **Stargirl020: Almost... Thank you!**

 **LoganRecord: That's one way to put it. That's okay... thanks!**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! I'll try!**

 **BookLover3212019: Thanks! Nah, He's already suffered enough. OOH, YES! Tam/Bangs coming up soon! (Ship names?) I think I already have... maybe... Hmm. Feefe: Yeah, never going to happen. And I'm glad. Teefe isn't too bad, it's my backup for Keefe if Foster-Keefe doesn't work out (but of course it will). Those last two though... EWWWWWWWWW! I will try! See ya!**

 **DangerousPie1: Ugh Ikr? HUNKYHAIR FOR THE WIN!**

 **Sophie/Pockets (Foskets)**

Sophie: What?

Keefe: Wait, is this about the time you were mumbling "pockets are amazing" while falling asleep in the healing center?

Sophie: ...Maybe?

Me: YEP!

Keefe: That was a ship thing?

Sophie: No, that's just the weirdness of-

Glitterbutt23: YEAH, IT'S A SHIP THING! IT'S IN THE LAWS OF SHIPPING!

Me: "Anyone who mumbles about pockets is secretly in love with them." Page 127, paragraph 3, line 5.

Keefe: What?

Sophie: But I don't want to date pockets! I love KEEFE!

Me: Hmm... this gives us quite a problem.

Biana: What's the problem? If it's related to romance, I CAN FIX IT!

Glitterbutt23: _Bob the builder._

Biana: What?

Tam: Of course Biana can fix it!

Dex: She can fix anything!

Tam: She's a genius!

Dex: One of the many things that's so wonderful about her.

Biana: Um, thanks?

Marella: So what _is_ the problem?

Me: Well, you see...

Glitterbutt23: According to shipping law...

Me: Sophie has to love pockets...

Glitterbutt23: But she loves Keefe!

Me: And it's our OTP!

Glitterbutt23: But we cannot disobey shipping law.

Me: Because the book is wise and all-knowing.

*Wylie and Linh arrive just in time to see us bowing to the laws of shipping.*

Wylie: What is going on?

Me: WE ARE BOWING TO THE LAWS OF SHIPPING!

Wylie: What?

Me: QUIET! Wise and all-knowing book, what should we do?

*Book magically flips to page 572*

Me: "In the event that one of the most glorious ships of all time"

Glitterbutt23: " (Keefe Sencen and Sophie Elizabeth Foster, Linh Song and Wylie Endal, Dexter Alvin Dizznee and Biana Vacker-"

Dex: HA! DIANA IS THE MOST GLORIOUS SHIP OF ALL TIME!

Me: "- Tam Song and Biana Vacker-"

Tam: HA!

Me: "- Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, Will Solace and Nico di Angelo,-)"

Glitterbutt23: Wow, this goes on for, like, 5 pages, multiple fandoms.

Me: "Are broken up by any laws mentioned elsewhere in the book-"

Glitterbutt23: "It is up to the center of the love triangle to decide who he or she loves."

Biana: So, Keephie is one of the most glorious ships of all time.

Linh: And apparently some law in the book breaks them up?

Marella: Yeah, the one about mumbling as you fall asleep, I guess. It puts Sophie with pockets.

Linh: Okay. And the center of the love triangle is Sophie.

Biana: Then Sophie must choose who she loves.

Sophie: KEEFE! I LOVE KEEFE! AND I WOULD NEVER LEAVE HIM, EVEN FOR POCKETS!

Keefe: I LOVE YOU TOO!

Me: Okay, we've solved the problem. Now, react!

Biana: I guess Sophie does like pockets.

Tam: She really does. I guess it's no weirder than some of the other ships.

Linh: ...If it makes Sophie happy?

Wylie: NO! You guys are insane! Why do you ship _elves_ with _inanimate objects!_

Me: Because it's fun?

Dex: Cute, I guess. But DOVER and DIANA are both way better!

Sophie: Pockets are pretty great. I suppose it wouldn't be the worst ship.

Keefe: As long as Foster is happy and the pockets are nice to her.

Marella: Ooooooookay then.

Fitz: NO! I HATE POCKETS!

Me: HOW DARE YOU! POCKETS ARE AMAZING!

Glitterbutt23: Are you sure YOU don't want to be shipped with pockets?

Me: No, I'm shipped with mallowmelt. What about you?

Glitterbutt23: No, I'm shipped with pugs.

Me: Okay. Anyway, this chapter had a very important lesson:

All except Fitz/Wylie: KEEPHIE WILL TRIUMPH OVER FOSKETS!

Fitz: POCKETS ARE STUPID!

Wylie: The laws of shipping are stupid!

Me: Well that's rude.

Glitterbutt23: How should we punish them?

Me: *Looks from Fitz to Wylie, laughing manically*

Fitz: Oh no.

Wylie: Should we be afraid.

Glitterbutt23: Yes.

 **I hope you liked it! It was kinda short, but I thought it was funny! AND THE LAWS OF SHIPPING RETURNED! If anyone has an idea for a Linh inanimate object ship, please tell me. Remember, the sole purpose of Linh/Inanimate object is to annoy Wylie. I AM SO CLOSE TO 300, GUYS! PLEASE PLEASE _PLEASE_** **REVIEW!**


	44. Chapter 43

**Random special announcement: I got my black belt omg.**

 **If you like Hamilton, you'll LOVE this chapter! If not... you probably won't get most of it but ok.**

 **The-Vegginonymous-Potato: Thanks! I'll take that into consideration? Is that a vote for Diana? Please vote on the poll.**

 **Keeper people: *Whispers* CHOOSE SOKEEFE.**

 **Nom nom fish: Hi! It's fine. THANKS FOR THE MALLOWMELT! HAHAHAHAHA TOO BAD FOR THEM! (You're such a great friend...)**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 41) You'll like this chapter...**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 40) Yay!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 39): Thanks! HAMILTON FOREVER!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 38): Me too...**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 27): It's not bad.**

 **MagicDaydreamer (26): JUST YOU WAIT! Me too... (well except for brant)... thanks!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (24): Thanks! Fangirlmelt/Mallowfan forever!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 23): Thanks! Ro is awesome.**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 22): NOOOO! Yeah... thanks!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 21): Yep. Thanks!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 18): Yay! You're welcome! Lol.**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 15): Yep! Thanks!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 12) SHIP IT LIKE FEDEX! Thanks! It's true :)**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 9): It is/they are. Thanks!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 8): IGGY AND GLITTERBUTT! (Omg when I typed that my fingers instinctively did " #" aka 23.) XD.**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 6) HAMILTON! YAY!**

 **MagicDaydreamer (ch 5): lol.**

 **GUESThamilton: Thanks! I'll do one!**

 **Hamilguest: Of course.**

 **LoganRecord: SOKEEFE! Hmm, maybe.**

 **L: Lol. I think Foskets sounds better. Exactly. Now I'm way past 300, but thanks! I'll look forward to your next review!**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! Hmm, maybe. (Wylie: YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH MY MUSIC!?).**

 **Stargirl020: Thanks! Maybe, but that's kinda like Tam/Salt (he IS the salt, she IS the floods, they ARE the ocean).**

 **DangerousPie1: KEEPHIE FOREVER! Thank goodness!**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! OH HE SHOULD BE! HOW DARE THEY? Yep.**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: Thanks!**

 **BookLover3212019: Maybe? OOH, great idea!**

 **Dex/Peggy!**

Me: Yes, I have resorted to crossover ships.

Dex: Who is this Peggy person anyway?

Glitterbutt23: NO ONE REMEMBERS PEGGYYYYYYYYYYY! *Cries*

Me: Calm down. He doesn't even know who Alexander Hamilton was.

Dex: Who?

Sophie: The ten dollar

Biana: Founding father

Linh: Without a father

Me: (Who) got a lot farther

Glitterbutt23: By being a lot smarter

Keefe: By being a self starter

Marella: By fourteen, the placed him in charge of a trading charter.

Dex: Oh, the guy the musical is about.

All: Yeah.

Me: Now, because this ship involves Peggy, I have a special surprise...

Wylie: You know what would be a surprise? IF YOU SAID SOMETHING INTELLIGENT!

Me: I am VERY intelligent! I just don't USE my intelligence much!

Glitterbutt23: Back to the surprise...

All: WORK, WORK,

Angelica: *Magically appears* ANGELICAAAAAAA!

All: WORK, WORK,

Eliza: *Magically appears* ELIZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAA!

Fitz: AND FITZROY!

Eliza: The Schuyler- wait what?

Peggy: *Magically appears* *Slaps Fitz* HOW DARE YOU STEAL ONE OF MY ONLY LINES!

 **A/N: The Schuyler sisters are teenagers in this so it isn't too weird for Dex.**

Me: Let's try this again. WORK, WORK,

Angelica: ANGELICAAAAAAA!

All: WORK, WORK,

Eliza: ELIZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAA!

Peggy: AND-

Fitz: Margarita/Margaret-depending-on-the-source!

Peggy: OMG CHILD! JUST LET ME SAY THE LINE!

Me: WORK, WORK,

Angelica: ANGELICAAAAAAA!

All: WORK, WORK,

Eliza: ELIZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAA!

Peggy: AND PEGGY!

All: THE SCHUYLER SISTERS!

Me: Angelica!

Glitterbutt23: Peggy!

Sophie: Eliiiiza!

All: WORK!

 ***Applause***

Schuyler sisters: Thank you, thank you. Now, why are we here?

Me: Well you see, Peggy is underappreciated-

Peggy: WHAT? HOW DARE THEY? I AM THE ALMIGHTY AND PEGGY!

Glitterbutt23: Don't worry, you have an appreciation day!

Peggy: WOAH! COOL!

Me: And next year, my Bat Mitzvah is going to be on Peggy appreciation day!

Glitterbutt23: A-dot-fan? You know no one CARES, right?

Angelica: A-dot-Fan?

Eliza: As in-

Burr, Hamilton: *Magically appear* I HAVE THE HONOR TO BE YOUR OBEDIENT SERVANT!

Hamilton: A-dot-Ham.

Burr: A-dot-Burr.

Me: Go home, Alexander.

Glitterbutt23: That's an order from your commander(s).

Hamilton: But-

Me: GO HOME.

Hamilton: CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME! *Disappears*

Dex: He has problems.

Burr: Indeed. He needs to talk less, and smile more.

Me: Oh no. Burr. Go away.

Burr: But the world is wide enough for both A-dot-fan and me!

Me: *Snaps fingers*

Burr: WAIT FOR IT! *Disappears*

Peggy: But seriously, Alex has problems. I don't see why you guys like him.

Me: Peggy. Such a hypocrite.

Peggy: What?

Me: I know about your secret identity.

Peggy: *Sweats* What secret identity?

Glitterbutt23: MARIA REYNOLDS.

Peggy: Who? *Hyperventilates*

Eliza: What? Maria Reynolds was the random lady who stole my husband!

Peggy: Yeah! Not me...

Me: Don't worry, Peggy was only Maria in an alternate universe.

All: What?

Me: Never mind. Anyway, Peggy is underappreciated. So is Dex.

Dex: *Raises hand* I'm Dex.

Fitz: I thought your name was Deck!

Me: FITZROY AVERY VACKER.

Glitterbutt23: HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING!

Fitz: I know him!

Fitz: Of course I know his name! **/** Me, Glitterbutt23 (at same time): That can't be, he's that little guy-

Me: Sorry, what'd you say?

Fitz: I KNOW DECK, SO OF COURSE I KNOW HIS NAME!

Me: WELL I'M A FANGIRL. I'm NEVER wrong about my fandoms!

Fitz: But I EXIST in the fandom.

Me: But your name rhymes with RITZ CRACKER.

Fitz: But you don't even have a real NAME.

Me: Well, you're FAKE! You're all FICTIONAL! *Points at Schuyler sisters* Not you.

Keefe: What?

Dex: What?

Biana: What?

Marella: What?

Tam: What?

Linh: What?

Wylie: What?

Keefe: I mean,

Dex: I knew fangirl could control us,

Biana: But I thought that was, like,

Marella: Because she had some unique special ability-

Tam: Called a writer!

*All look at Linh and Wylie*

Wylie: We don't even care as long as we become canon.

Linh: *Nods*

Glitterbutt23: AWWWWWWW, LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Sophie: It's really obvious that we're fictional.

Keefe: Really?

Sophie: Yeah! I mean, in real life, I would never like a guy just for his eyes! I'd like him for his personality!

Fitz: True. My personality IS pretty great.

Dex: She was talking about Keefe, you idiot.

Peggy: Okay, now that you've grown accustomed to the fact that YOU DON'T EXIST-

Me: You three know you're dead, right?

Eliza: I'm sorry, WHAT?

Angelica: Nonsense!

Peggy: I'm to young to die!

Me: You died at age 42. From a cold.

Peggy: HOW DARE YOU!

Me: But my author powers have revived you! For this chapter, at least!

Peggy: Um, cool?

Eliza: But this is so weird!

Angelica: I mean, we're DEAD!

Me: *Shrugs* You have no control-

Washington: *Appears* WHO LIVES, WHO DIES, WHO TELLS YOUR STORY!

Me: Thank you.

Glitterbutt23: You may leave now.

Washington: One last TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEEEE! *Disappears*

Me: So, Dex, Peggy. Peggy, Dex. Shake hands.

Dex, Peggy: *Shake hands*

Me: Good. You are the underapprecitated couple.

Peggy: But I'm married!

Me: I don't care about Stephen Van Rensselaer!

Peggy: Neither do I.

Dex: BUT I LOVE BIANA!

Tam: She was going to choose me anyway.

Biana: No I wasn't!

Tam: *Jaw drop*

Dex: HA!

Biana: But then again, I was!

Dex: *Jaw drop*

Tam: HA!

Biana: The indecision! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Marella: Fine, I'll choose for you.

Me: Guys. Don't ruin Diana or Bam.

Biana, Marella, Dex, Tam: FINE.

Peggy: Eh, there are worse ships *COUGH* Maria/Peggy *COUGH*.

Dex: There are worse ships *COUGH* Destina *COUGH*.

Me: Great!

Dex: Can I have your phone number?

Peggy: What's a phone?

 **Hope you liked it, especially my Hamilton fans! Please review! Vote on the poll! Read Diana or Bam! Read Legacy, what is a Legacy! Read Hamilton references! And review!**


	45. Chapter 44

**So, remember a few chapters back when I vowed to torture Wylie and Fitz for insulting the laws of shipping? It's fine if you didn't, BUT THEIR TORTURE IS HERE!**

 **Zora: Thanks! ME TOO! WE ALL NEED HELP! ALL HAIL ME! DON'T HAIL MY IDIOT BEST FRIEND! YOU'LL BE BACK!**

 **SOmeone: Thank you! I am a fangirl of many fandoms.**

 **REVIEW: THANKS!**

 **Sokeefe4life: Thanks! WHAT COULD?!**

 **Guest: ME. TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

 **Nom Nom Fish: Cool! HAMILTON! That's me everyday, just give up on trying to figure it out. ~A. Fan.**

 **Nom Nom Fish: Thanks! Well, that's an... interesting motive. YAY! No, I haven't seen that before, but it's funny.**

 **ProjectFrostedIggy: Well that was dumb. What's the point of reviewing if you're just going to say something completely unrelated? If you don't like it, don't read it, but don't just insult my ship like that. PS: SOKEEFE FARTHER THAN ALL THE WAY! SOKEEFE FOREVER AND EVER! SOKEEFE WILL RULE!**

 **Glitterbutt23: Shut up lol.**

 **LoganRecord: Me too!**

 **L: *GASP* You should listen to the soundtrack. Thanks! _That_ was your favorite part... I'm a little offended lol. **

**Stargirl020: Thanks! Lol, they really do.**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: Wow, you're welcome then. Lol, oops XD. Thanks!**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! I sang as I wrote, so... that's completely normal.**

 **BookLover3212019: Neither have I, but I've listened to the soundtrack. Thanks! I've read the first two books for SGE, and I LOVE Divergent! What faction are you? I'll try to do the crossovers. Bye!**

 **LunaLovegood397: DEGGY FOREVER! Thanks!**

 **DangerousPie1: Yes! Thanks!**

 **Fitz/Wylie!**

Fitz: WHAT?

Wylie: WHAT?

Me: This is what you get for insulting shipping law... and pockets.

Wylie: Well, it's true. Shipping is annoying and the laws are stupid.

Me: The laws beg to differ.

Wylie: Do they?

Me: YEP!

Wylie: Darn.

Me: But we'll deal with you AFTER THE REACT! Fitz, any comments... apologies to the pockets?

Fitz: Pockets are stupid.

Me: MY DOG SPEAKS MORE ELOQUENTLY THAN THEE!

Wylie: Hamilton?

Glitterbutt23: You figured it out! Awesome, wow!

Fitz: Not Hamilton AGAIN! It isn't even that good!

Me: You.

Glitterbutt23: Did.

Me: NOT!

Glitterbutt23: No...

Me: Glitterbutt23, get over here. We need to talk.

Glitterbutt23: You guys react while the grown ups talk.

Wylie: We are OLDER than you!

Fitz: And you guys are only-

Me: Hey, no revealing our ages! This is confidential information!

Wylie: Confidential information?

Fitz: Like where you live?

Wylie: Or your names?

Fitz: That stuff is confidential, isn't it, _A-_ **(Not the actual first letter of my name, but I'm not revealing that.)**

Me: HEY! THAT IS VERY CONFIDENTIAL! INTERNET SAFETY, CHILD! DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING?

Glitterbutt23: *Cough* no *Cough*

Me: Besides, how do you know my name?

Fitz: I'm a telepath.

Me: But I'm a writer.

Fitz: I AM FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU!

Me: Really?

Fitz: Really.

*Fitz stares at me. I stare back*

*The rest of the group appears*

Sophie: Are they okay?

Tam: Are they ever?

Dex: Are they less okay than usual?

Glitterbutt23: Nah, they're just- I'm not really sure, to be honest. Maybe they're having a staring contest?

Me: You know, Cracker Boy, your eyes aren't really that great.

Fitz: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Me: NO.

Fitz: Your eyes aren't pretty either.

Me: So? I'm so amazing that my eyes don't define me.

Fitz: Really? But I thought everyone's eyes defined them...

Me: Well, your eyes are ugly anyway.

Keefe: What the- Never mind, I probably shouldn't ask.

Me: Oh, hi guys!

Biana: Hi.

Me: BIANA! YOUR EYES ARE _BEAUTIFUL!_

Fitz: Wait a second. I have the SAME EYES!

Biana: Well, now you know how I felt when Sophie was constantly gushing over your eyes.

Sophie: Well, he also has a nice smile.

Me: I have a nice smile!

Linh: No offense, but your smile kinda looks like you're going to kill us all- it's pretty though! **(Aw, Linh is too nice.)**

Me: That's what makes it nice!

Glitterbutt23: Mine is nicer!

Me: By which you mean eviler.

Glitterbutt23: Exactly.

Linh: What's the ship anyway?

Wylie: You don't want to know.

Linh: Oh no. What is it?

Me: Fitz/Wylie.

Sophie: EW!

Biana: BLECH!

Keefe: GROSS!

Dex: NASTY!

Tam: DISGUSTING!

Linh: It's pretty bad.

Glitterbutt23: Everyone hates it, as expected. Reaction is over.

Me: Great. Now, Fitzy insulted Hamilton... what should his punishment be?

Glitterbutt23: Keefe, keep him distracted.

*One whispered conversation later*

Me: FITZROY AVERY VACKER!

 ***Ritzroy Savory Cracker**

Glitterbutt23: WE HAVE PASSED JUDGEMENT!

Me: You have to listen to three Hamilton songs.

Fitz: That's not so bad. Do I get to choose?

Me: No. We choose. And you have to do it in order.

Glitterbutt23: To start: Stay Alive, reprise. Make sure it's the reprise.

Sophie: Oof.

Me: NEXT: Dear Theodosia.

Biana: Ooh...

Glitterbutt23: AND FINALLY...

Me: It's Quiet Uptown.

Linh: Oh, _no._

Sophie: NO!

Me: YES!

Glitterbutt23: SAY NO TO THIS!

Me: Shut up.

Glitterbutt23: NO!

Me: YES!

Fitz: Okay, what's so bad about those songs?

Me: *Trying not to laugh* Nothing at all.

Glitterbutt23: Go listen to your songs.

*Fitz leaves*

Keefe: Wow. That is _evil!_ I love it! Can I make my dad do that?

Me: Sure!

Keefe: Cool!

Sophie: What do we do now?

Linh: Eat mallowmelt?

Me: Excellent idea!

*Half an hour later, Fitz returns*

Fitz: *Crying* PHILLIP! HE WAS TOO YOUNG!

Me: Hey Keefe, why was 6 afraid of seven?

Keefe: Because seven ate nine?

Me: No, because George Eacker shot on seven.

Fitz: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

Me: Well, do you appreciate Hamilton yet?

Fitz: It knocked me out, I fell apart.

Glitterbutt23: AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SO SMART! **/** Me: CAN YOU IMAGINE?

Sophie: Huh. I guess that does work for both songs.

Me: Well, now we know who's the optimist.

Glitterbutt23: Look at where we are... look at where we started.

Fitz: STOP! STOP! I BEG YOU!

Me: There are moments that the words don't reach,

Glitterbutt23: There is suffering to terrible to name.

Fitz: I LOVE HAMILTON: AN AMERICAN MUSICAL! JUST STOP!

Me: Listen to That Would Be Enough, Burn, and then Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story, then all will be forgiven.

Fitz: Cool.

Glitterbutt23: Forgiveness.

Me: Can you imagine?

Glitterbutt23: Forgiveness.

Me: CAN YOU IMAGINE?

Glitterbutt23: If you see him in the street, walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity.

Me: They are going through the unimaginable!

 **What a pleasant way to end the chapter! Please review. I believe I am actually approaching 350, wow. Next chapter will be back to inanimate ships. Any suggestions, especially ones that will greatly annoy Wylie, would be welcomed. Again, please review!**


	46. Chapter 45

**Sophitzfan0110: Because I don't like him. You know what's insulting? More insulting than character bashing? Working hard on a story just for people to criticize my opinions. If you like Sophitz so much, go read a Sophitz story and leave me alone. I can't believe you ship Sophitz! You SERIOUSLY need better taste.**

 **L: Thanks! Yeah, I think this is mostly because of MagicDaydreamer. I know... I'm so amazingly evil! You really should!**

 **Keephie-13: Yay Hamilton! Hmm, Biana x Makeup is a pretty good idea. I like it better than Biana x clothes.**

 **Some girl: I've already decided not to do that one, but thanks anyway!**

 **BookLover3212019: Thanks! I have 2 Sokeefe, 1 Dexphie (She's on lodestar), 1 Sophitz, and 1 neutral friend. RITZROY SAVORY CRACKER! I'm trying, but SOMEONE won't lend me her copy of book 3... *Glares at GB23* Maybe I'll do crossovers when I'm done with inanimate objects.**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: Thanks! Hmm... probably. (I've done it and I was okay, lol.) It's a great name. Light leaping crystals is a good idea, I think I'll use that. And Laws of Shipping is a great idea... I'll ship it with Linh. Those were great ideas! :D**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! Linh/Wow is okay, but wow is a concept, not an object, so... but then again, they're all fictional anyway. I think I did... ugh homework.**

 **DangerousPie1: My feelings exactly. Thanks!**

 **OMG GUYS! THE COVER IS GOING TO BE REVEALED ON MAY 13TH... WE'VE WAITED SO LONG! YES! Dex on the cover 2019!**

 **And now, the ship...**

 **Linh/Laws of shipping book (Thanks HedwigIggyLover1214)!**

Wylie: WHAT?

Linh: Um... what?

Keefe: This is a great idea! HedwigIggyLover1214 is a genius, whoever they are!

Me: THEY ARE ONE OF MY ADORING FANS!

Wylie: You have adoring fans?

Me: Yes. They send reviews on how much they love my story.

Wylie: Somehow I have trouble believing anyone would adore you.

Me: HEY!

Sophie: You kinda walked into that one.

Me: True. Now, where is Glitterbutt23?

Glitterbutt23: *Walking into the room (where it happens)* I have absolutely no idea at all.

Fitz: Yeah, I can't find her anywhere. *Picks up rock* GLITTERBUTT23? ARE YOU UNDER HERE?

Glitterbutt23: No. YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME!

Fitz: Maybe she died.

Wylie: Sadly, no.

Glitterbutt23: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, _SADLY!_

Wylie: Well, you see, I hate you.

Glitterbutt23: HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME!

Me: Glitterbutt23, how can anyone in your presence _not_ disrespect you?

Glitterbutt23: HEY!

Dex: *Appears* Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I was busy being forgotten and irrelevant.

Me: Hi Dex! In two days we'll know whether or not you're going to be with your lover.

Tam: You're going to resolve Diana or Bam in two days! *Panics and gives Biana flowers*

Dex: Oh no you don't! *Gives Biana chocolates*

Biana: It'd be a much better gift if one of you gave me decisiveness.

Marella: You know these gifts are so you choose them, right?

Biana: Really? I thought I was getting birthday presents.

Fitz: It's your birthday?

Biana: No, that's why I was confused.

Me: Anyway, I was referring to the cover. The Legacy cover comes out in two days.

Dex: DEX ON THE COVER 2019!

Biana: DEX ON THE COVER 2019!

Tam: How dare you support him?

Biana: You were on the cover last year.

Marella: MARELLA ON THE COVER 2019!

Me: DEXELLA ON THE COVER 2019!

Dex: Wait are you shipping us?

Me: Of course! You guys are so cute together!

Dex: But Diana!

Marella: But I'm still considering Tam!

Tam: But Tiana!

Biana: But indecision!

Dex: Hmm... actually, Dexella wouldn't be so bad. I think Marella is exactly as good as Biana.

Tam: HA! BIANA IS MINE!

Marella: But what about Tarella?

Tam: Hmm... Dex is right, surprisingly enough-

Dex: HEY!

Tam: But Marella is pretty great.

Dex: Wait, is this what indecision feels like?

Tam: Wow, it's weird.

Dex: Biana, is this what you have to live with?

Tam: It's awful! I was so sure I loved Biana, but now I can't choose!

Me: Wait. Tam can't choose between Biana and Marella. Neither can Dex.

Glitterbutt23: And Biana and Marella both can't choose between Dex and Tam.

Keefe: Love square. **(Note: This is not happening in Diana or Bam, as far as I know.)**

Linh: Plot twist: Marelliana.

Marella: *Looks at Biana*

Biana: *Looks at Marella*

Both: Hmm... nah. No offense.

Me: Oh my goodness, they are speaking at the same exact time. MARELLIANA PROOF RIGHT THERE!

Glitterbutt23: Do you ship everything in existence, A. Fan?

Me: They are all so cute! Except for Fitzphie! But I know _BAM! KEEPHIE AND DEXELLA FOR THE WINH!_ will always triumph.

Glitterbutt23: Okay...

Linh: Wait aren't we supposed to be reacting to the ship?

Me: I know! Let's see what the book thinks! *Snaps fingers* OH GREAT SHIPPING LAW, WHAT DO WE DO IF WE'RE SHIPPING SOMEONE WITH YOU?

Book: Well, that depends. Who am I being shipped with?

Wylie: My girlfriend.

Book: Yeah, I don't have eyes. I'm going to need a name.

Tam: My sister.

Book: Not helpful either.

Wylie: Good. I'm not going to lose my girlfriend to a dumb BOOK!

Linh: Calm down, Wylie. I'm not really into the inanimate object ships anyway. LYLIE FOR THE WINH!

Book: Oh, I'm being shipped with Linh Song. Yeah, she's cool. I'm glad I'm being shipped with someone decent.

Wylie: *Grabs paper shredder* THINK VERY CAREFULLY ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.

Me: Wylie, could you do me a favor? Shred this. *Hands him papers*

Wylie: What is this?

Me: Fitzphie confession scene, and my math homework. I need it GONE.

Glitterbutt23: What are you going to tell your teacher.

Me: Sorry, Mrs **~Name removed for security purposes~** , I don't have my homework. Fictional characters destroyed it with a paper shredder.

Tam: Yeah, because she'll totally believe that.

Book: Don't worry, Wylie. It is physically impossible for me to break up one of my OTPs.

Wylie: Cool.

Glitterbutt23: Now, book, we have a problem. Tam, Dex, Biana, and Marella are kind of having a shipping crisis...

Me: Tam likes Biana and Marella, Dex likes Biana and Marella, Biana likes Tam and Dex, and Marella likes Tam and Dex.

Book: Oh dear... that is a problem.

All: HELP US!

Book: So the options are Dexella and Tiana vs Diana and Tarella?

Glitterbutt23: Yep.

Me: DEXELLA TIANA FOREVER!

Book: Here are some laws to help: Tam likes brunettes, Marella called Dex cute, Marella "checks Tam out", and Dex thinks Biana is one of the prettiest girls in school.

Tam: Very helpful.

Book: Thanks!

Dex, Tam, Biana, and Marella: AHH! THE INDECISION!

Glitterbutt23: BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!

Me: BAM! IT'S DEXELLA has my vote!

Glitterbutt23: You are not Hamilton. Your vote does not matter.

Me: FINE! What does Hamilton think?

Hamilton: *Appears* THERE'S A MILLION THINGS I HAVEN'T DONE, BUT JUST YOU WAIT. JUST YOU... WAIT!

Me: O Great Alexander Hamilton Who Sucks But Is A Good Singer, who do you ship? *Pushes Marella and Dex forward while GB23 pushes Tam and Biana*

Hamilton: What does "ship" mean?

Me: Who should be a couple?

Hamilton: *Grumbles* _Teenagers_.

Me: Because you were _very_ decisive about who you loved!

Hamilton: I love Eliza and only Eliza...

Me: The Reynolds Pamphlet.

Hamilton: That was the Reynolds' fault...

Me: My dearest, Angelica...

Hamilton: I dropped my quill in that exact spot!

Me: COLD IN MY PROFESSIONS, WARM IN MY FRIENDSHIPS!

Hamilton: That's different...

Me: What should I ship? Hamiza, Hamgelica, or Lams?

Hamilton: Well- I- uh- I- shouldn't we be talking about your young friends?

Tam: Trust me, she's not my friend.

Me: He doesn't like me.

Hamilton: I can see that. So, is your relationship more Jefferson and me, or Burr and me?

Me: Jefferson. But Glitterbutt23 and I are literally you and Burr.

Glitterbutt23: She's Burr.

Me: Weehawken. Dawn. Guns drawn.

Glitterbutt23: You're on.

Hamilton: Miss Butt, please don't repeat my mistakes. Shoot her.

Me: HEY!

Hamilton: Miss Fangirl-

Me: See, _I_ have a respectable name.

Hamilton: Miss Fangirl, shoot her too. You're both annoying.

Glitterbutt23: HEY!

Hamilton: Can I go now?

Glitterbutt23: Dear Mr. Hamilton

Me: Your fellow Fanpeople would like to know how you'll be voting.

Hamilton: It's quiet uptown.

Me: Dear Mr. Hamilton

Glitterbutt23: Keefe Sencen doesn't stand a chance, so who are you promoting?

Hamilton: It's quiet uptown.

Me: Diana or Bam, Diana or Bam? We know it's lose-lose.

Glitterbutt23: Diana or Bam? But if you had to choose.

Me: Dear Mr. Hamilton

Glitterbutt23: Keefe Sencen doesn't stand a chance, so who are you promoting?

Me: But if you had to choose.

Keefe: OH!

Hamilton: The fangirls are asking to hear my voice.

Sophie: OH!

Hamilton: For the fandom is faced with a difficult choice.

Linh: OH!

Hamilton: And if you were to ask me who I'd promote!

Me, Glitterbutt23: **_OH!_**

Hamilton: Neither has my vote. Why on earth am I doing this? Bye.

Me: HE AIMS HIS PISTOL AT THE SKY!

Glitterbutt23: WAIT!

Hamilton: *Disappears*

Me: Ugh. Darn it.

 **Hope you liked it! Please review! And yay for longest chapter! Also ugh you may have noticed but in the original, I copy and pasted lyrics and forgot to change them, so it actually said "Jefferson or Burr?" Whoops!**


	47. Chapter 46

**OH MY GOODNESS THE COVER IS OUT! THE COVER IS OUT! IT'S BEAUTIFUL! Sophie looks really intense. I wonder who she's inflicting on. Did anyone else notice how she was aiming her inflicting? Does she learn to do that? Keefe looks really concerned about something. Ritzroy just looks like he's posing for a picture. But WHERE'S DEX?! I WANTED DEX ON THE COVER 2019! If not Dex, at least Biana, she's as related to the Vacker legacy as Fitz! Also, cool! They're in London! This probably has something to do with *Spoilers* Keefe's missing memory. And it's midnight! And did anyone else notice how Sophie's holding Keefe's hand? :(. Sophie also has no gloves, no cognate ring (YAY!), and her family crest/pin thingy is different. I hope this doesn't mean she found her parents and left Grady and Edaline. I have a lot of theories about this! Anyway, I've ranted long enough. RESPOND TO REVIEWS!**

 **Jess/Jessica (I am going to assume you are the same person): Thanks!**

 **Guest: Thanks!**

 **MidnightBunny: ALDEN AND WORRIES. *Evil laugh* I'm crazier.**

 **Anonymous: Because I felt like it?**

 **Guest: It truly is.**

 **Guest: But they aren't. You are allowed to love Sophitz, but Keefoster is better than Sophitz.**

 **L: Lol XD. Diana or Bam is amazing even though I ship BAM! Thanks! I know... intentionally so.**

 **KEEFE'SaTRAITOR: First of all: Have you read Lodestar yet? Because if not, you should before you start saying things that aren't true. Second of all: Don't bash my ship. My ship is the best ship. Third: Why on earth is this here? How is this even remotely relevant to the story? Have you even read all the times I have to rant about respecting my ships and the effort I put into writing this? Get a life. Read a Sophitz story. Read Lodestar. I don't care. Just go away and don't come back.**

 **BookLover3212019: OMG IT IS BEAUTIFUL! WHERE'S DEX THOUGH? Thanks!**

 **Some girl again: Maybe. Ikr, BAM! IT'S DEXELLA!**

 **LoganRecord: It kinda is. But thanks!**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: Thanks! Don't thank me, it was _your_ great idea! XD. BAM! But Dexella is adorable, it's not just elimination! AND PEGGY!**

 **LunaLovegood397: Yes, very good thing. What would we do without insanity? BAM! IT'S KEEPHIE AND DEXELLA FOR THE WINH! I know. It's just that since ALL the focus is on the Sophie/Keefe/Fitz triangle, there aren't many good moments for the minor ships. I definitely think Diana is platonic though.**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! *Cries* OUR HOPES WERE CRUSHED! I also ship Bam Dexella, but the arguments are cute so it goes on.**

 **DangerousPie1: Aw, thanks! BAM! IT'S DEXELLA!**

 **Nom nom fish: Yep! I update kinda once a week ish. He isn't... *cries* DOVER! NO! Thank you, those people are annoying, but at least I have "adoring" fans! WE'RE SO CLOSE! WE CAN MAKE IT! ~A. Fan.**

 **Alden x worries! Credit to MidnightBunny for this one. :).**

Alden: What the heck is this? Last time I was here we were discussing my love life... is that what this is?

Me: Kinda... not really. I don't even know what this is anymore. But it's fun. And for purposes of fun-ness-

Councillor Bronte: *Halfway across the world* THAT'S NOT A WORD!

Me: SHUT UP BRONTE! NO ONE ASKED YOU! *Grumbles* We should ship Bronte with happiness.

Councillor Oralie: *Also halfway across the world* YES! HAVE THE COUNCIL REACT TO IT!

Me: COOL! Now, for the purposes of _fun-ness_ , instead of the usual gang we're going to have the parents react to Alden x worries! We have Alden, obviously, Della, Grady-

Juline: Who are you even talking to?

Me: MY READERS OF COURSE!

Tiergan: People are reading this? Actually, better question: This conversation is being recorded?

Me: YOU ONLY EXIST IN WRITING!

Kesler: Excuse me?

Me: You are all fake!

Della: What the MALLOWMELT?

Me: Actually, I'd rather not go through this again. GB23, you explain.

*Silence*

Me: GB23? Glitterbutt? GLITTERBUTT23 GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!

*More silence*

Me: This calls for drastic measures. *Yells* FANGIRL IS THE BETTER SKATER!

Glitterbutt23: NO SHE ISN'T! GLITTERBUTT23 IS BETTER!

Me: Glitterbutt23 just can't accept that I am _far_ superior.

Glitterbutt23: Of course you are the better skater!

Glitterbutt23: Wait what?

Glitterbutt23: No.

Glitterbutt23: SHE MADE ME SAY THAT!

Glitterbutt23: I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

Me: But it's true.

Glitterbutt23: No it's not!

Me: Yes it is!

Glitterbutt23: No it's not!

Me: Yes it is!

Glitterbutt23: No it's not!

Me: Yes it is!

Glitterbutt23: No it's not!

Me: Yes it is!

Our other friend who I am calling the Linh/Eliza of our group: I'm better than both of you. *Magically disappears*

Me, Glitterbutt23: What just happened?

Everyone in the entire universe except for us: CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THE REACT!?

Me: Of course! She started it.

Glitterbutt23: No, she did!

Me: She did!

Glitterbutt23: SHE DID!

Everyone in the entire universe except for us: JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

Me: Okay. So, basically, this is a story where I give you random couples and you tell me what you think of them. Recently, I've been shipping- uh, pairing- people with objects, because why should whether or not both parties are living beings affect the love between them?

Alden: Okay this girl is insane.

Me: Thanks, Captain Obvious.

Grady: Okay, before you explain this couple thingy, please elaborate on your idea that WE ARE ALL FAKE!

Me: Why should I elaborate? You are simply figments of a torture expert's imagination that she decided to write about.

Della: You're a torture expert?

Me: No. Well, yes, but I was referencing a different torture expert who goes by the name of Shannon Messenger. I am simply writing about her characters because I don't have a life. Oh, that reminds me! I keep forgetting disclaimers! I do not own Keeper of the Lost Cities or its characters.

Tiergan: And people are reading this?

Me: Yes and they love it.

Tiegan: People like this trash? I have a hard time believing that.

Glitterbutt23: Like father like son.

Me: It's so true.

Glitterbutt23: DON'T BELIEVE THE LIES WYLIE HAS TOLD YOU ABOUT US!

Me: THEY AREN'T TRUE!

Tiergan: That was already stated. "Not true" is the definition of "lies". You guys are idiots.

Me: HEY! WE ARE THE REASON YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER IN LAW!

Tiergan: Ummm... they aren't even engaged yet.

Glitterbutt23: YOU DARE DISRESPECT THE GLORIOUSNESS OF LYLIE FOR THE WINH!?

Tiergan: You guys are complete psychopaths.

Glitterbutt23: OH SHE'S SWEET BUT A PSYCHO, A LITTLE BIT PSYCHO!

Wylie: Yeah neither of you guys are sweet.

Tiergan: How did you even get here?

Wylie: I had to insult them.

Tiergan: I've raised you well.

Wylie: *Light leaps away*

Me: Anyway, we think Alden is secretly in love with worries.

Alden: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! **(That was so fun to type.)**

Tiergan: I like it! It's so true! He's been in denial this whole time... constantly claiming worries don't exist so that his poor wife never suspects anything...

Della: *Glares at Alden*

Alden: No reason to worry, dear. My heart belongs to you and only you.

Tiergan: Uh huh. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUURREEEEEEEE.

Juline: I think we're done here.

Edaline: Yep.

Kesler: Definitely.

Grady: I sincerely hope we never come back.

Me: Don't worry. You will.

Grady: Cool! I love this place! I hope I come back as soon as possible!

Me: Don't worry. You will.

Grady: Dang it!

Me: Reverse psychology doesn't work on me.

Me: They call it divergent.

Me: *Jumps out window*

All: Okay then.

 **Well, this was... interesting. Next chapter will be Bronte x happiness. Please review! Unless, of course, you're an idiot who doesn't care about the story but just wants to insult my ships and characters, in which case, please don't. :)**


	48. Chapter 47

**Hello my peoples! Happy (Late) Memorial Day!**

 **Dexphie for life: Ooh, I love the land of stories! Yay! Also... your username... I'm so sorry... have you read Nightfall?**

 **Leah: Pretty late but thanks!**

 **Guest: Thank you!**

 **Guest: Thanks! You can totally enjoy it regardless of ships, especially since you're so-neutral.**

 **Project Moonlark: Lol. Both of us? That might be a bit difficult.**

 **MidnightBunny: It was a great idea! Hmm... Leo x Keefe? Idk they're very similar so...**

 **Nom nom fish: Wow. Something beautifully written to describe this insanity. Hmm. That's kinda confusing. Of course!**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! Lol we are obsessed. Of course! What the mallowmelt, oh my mallowmelt, it's all great! Lol.**

 **Blep: Yay Hamilton! Oh my mallowmelt... the astronomy rant... wow. That's a great idea though. Thank you! This is quite long. Ooh, you are writing a book series? I want to read it! Water gun? Lol. WAIT!**

 **Country-Fangirl: Thanks! Lol.**

 **BookLover3212019: Of course! Fun! Ehhh... I know nothing about superheroes so... maybe not.**

 **L: Ugh, yeah. Ikr?! :(. Lol yes. Thanks!**

 **DangerousPie1: They do, don't they. NO DEX AND MARELLAAAA! Yeah... except the WAY they hold hands is just so... sad. But ugh Fitzy. How dare you.**

 **Glitterbutt23: NONSENSE! I AM FAR BETTER! Can you count? It was three, and one of them was your fault! You fell way more than me! And I was better, everyone agrees.**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! They should but they are kinda young... LYLIE FOR THE WINH! Oof. Well, it's your borther's loss!**

 **Council reacts to Bronte x Happiness! And Kenric is still alive because Koralie.**

Me: Hello! You're all idiots! Well not you Kenric and Oralie. But the rest of you!

Oralie: That's... quite an introduction.

Kenric: Is she wrong though?

Oralie: You have a point.

Terik: Hey, what about me? I always support Sophie!

Me: Oh I think you're evil.

Terik: *Sweats* What a ridiculous idea! Of course I'm not evil! Heh heh... heh... heh...

Me: He's evil. But he can't hurt us here. We'll deal with you at the end of the chapter.

Terik: No-no I'm not!

Oralie: Terik, is this true?

Terik: No, I- she- She's insane!

Me: I am insane! But he is evil. Anyway, that's not why I'm here.

Bronte: Why are you here? Just get on with it so you can leave sooner.

Me: We are gathered here today because one of the councillors is in love-

Kenric: What? No! Oralie and I are just friends! That's all!

Me: Mmm hmm. _Sure._ You guys are _so_ in love. But I wasn't referring to you guys. I meant that COUNCILLOR BRONTE

Bronte: What? No! I'm not in love! How could I be in love, if I hate everybody and everything!

Me: This is what I mean! You are smitten, head over heels, infatuated-

Emery: Shut up, Dictionary Girl. No one cares about your cinnamon.

Me: Cinnamon? You mean synonyms? Cinnamon is Dex, and EVERYONE cares about Dex. Well everyone except Shannon Messenger. DEX ON THE COVER 2019!

All: What.

Me: Um, anyway, Bronte is in love with happiness.

Oralie: Oh yeah! I remember you mentioning this when Bronte yelled at you for using the word "Fun-ness"

Bronte: FUN-NESS IS NOT A WORD! HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING! WASH YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP YOUNG LADY!

Me: tHeRe ShOuLd Be A cOmMa BeTwEeN sOaP aNd YoUnG, yOu HyPoCrItE!

Bronte: Ummmmmmm...

Me: So, Bronte, tell us about your lover "Happiness".

Bronte: I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HAPPINESS! HAPPINESS IS OVERRATED! IT SUCKS! MISERY FOREVER!

Me: HEY ARE YOU CHEATING ON HAPPINESS? HOW DARE YOU BREAK ITS HEART LIKE THIS! I HOPE THAT YOU _BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!_

Emery: Um why are you singing, child?

Me: It's called Hamilton and it is glorious.

Emery: Hamilton?

Me: I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT, I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT, YO I'M JUST LIKE MY COUNTRY, I'M YOUNG, SCRAPPY, AND HUNGRY AND I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!

Oralie: Okay then.

Kenric: Shall we continue tormenting Bronte?

Me: Yes we shall! Don't deny your feelings, Bronte. Considering happiness is not a living being or even a physical object, I'm sure you won't get kicked off the council.

Bronte: I am ALLERGIC to happiness! It's a very severe allergy!

Me: It's not an allergy! You just panicked because you were around your crush! That's perfectly normal! Well, I wouldn't know, because the only thing I have a crush on is mallowmelt, and all I feel around it is pure happiness. But I think it's normal to panic around a crush.

Bronte: What?

Me: MALLOWMELT IS GREAT! MALLOWFAN FOREVER!

Oralie: What is even happening?

Me: I don't know, but we aren't leaving until Bronte confesses his love for happiness.

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: YES!

Bronte: No.

Me: Just admit your feelings, Bronte! You. Love. Happiness.

Bronte: Well... I love destroying happiness! Is that good enough for you?

Me: No. You must embrace your feelings. DON'T BE ASHAMED OF THEM! ALLOW YOURSELF TO LOVE HAPPINESS WITH ALL YOUR HEART!

Bronte: Fine, I love happiness!

Me: You do?

Bronte: No, you're just annoying and I wanted you to shut up, so I said it. I didn't mean it though.

Me: Oh. Well, say it again!

Bronte: I love happiness.

Me: YAY! OTP!

Bronte: There, I did it. Happy?

Me: Ew, no, I can't be happy. Then you would be in love with me, and that's just... ew. No. Anyway, now that he's confessed, we need a ship name!

Oralie: Happbronte?

Me: Brappiness?

Bronte: EW, THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING!

Me: Perfect! Brappiness forever!

Bronte: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Me: It's beautiful! True love! Anyway, now... TERIK!

Terik: Oh mallowmelt no.

Me: Oh mallowmelt YES!

Terik: I'm not evil!

Me: Empty your pockets!

Terik: *Empties pockets* See, not evil. All I have is a pathfinder and a note from the Neversee- Oh.

Me: Give it to me.

Terik: Wait, you're just a little girl! Why do I have to listen to you?

Me: Because I'm a black belt and you're too peaceful to fight back. Now, give me the note before I punch you.

Terik: Please. Like it would actually hurt.

Me: Oh it would. Lord Cassius can vouch. *Transmitting* _GLITTERBUTT23! BRING CASSIUS!_

Glitterbutt23: _YOU MEAN LORD_ SASSIUS!

Me: _Yes, yes, Sassius. Just tell him to leap over here._

Glitterbutt23: _Okay! Can I come?_

Me: _Sure!_

*Glitterbutt23 and Lord C/Sassius appear*

S/Cassius: Oh, council! *Bows*

Glitterbutt23: Hello! You're all idiots! Well not you Kenric and Oralie. But the rest of you!

Me: Anyway, S/Cassius, please tell Terik that it hurts when I punch you.

S/Cassius: Oh no. You do NOT want to anger her. Her punch HURTS! It hurts so badly that it's PAINFUL!

Me: Yes, that's what hurt means. Now, Terik, give me the note.

Terik: Okay! You know, I was going to all along...

Me: *Reading note* Hey Terik. How's life, bro? Thanks for telling them I wasn't evil! Haha that was funny! They actually fell for it! Lol. Next Neverseen meeting on Tuesday! XOXO Alvar.

Glitterbutt23: Wow. Okay. Wow.

Me: Yeah, that was interesting. Also, Neverseen members call each other "bro"?

Glitterbutt23: Apparently so.

Me: We'll leave Kenric and Oralie to deal with him. Bronte, thank you for participating. Have a happy face sticker.

Bronte: Oh mallowmelt NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 **Lol, the council. Please review!**


	49. Chapter 48

**This is kinda like a special bonus chapter type thing? I think? The characters are reacting to the final Diana or Bam chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Diana or Bam. I am not Glitterbutt23.**

 **Or am I? Are Glitterbutt23 and I the same person?**

 **Nah. I could never be that stupid.**

 **Anyway, responses to reviews!**

 **MidnightBunny: Lol. CAPS LOCK IS THE BEST! Also, about your "insanity always wins" statement: My friend and I (not GB23) have an inside joke about logic destroying illogical thoughts or illogical thoughts destroying logic.**

 **L: But that doesn't have the same ring to it... IT'S NEVER TOO FAR IN THE FUTURE TO START A CAMPAIGN FOR DEX! DEX ON THE COVER 2047! (That number was so random lol). I totally think he's evil though! Yeah, Alvar is weird. Bro.**

 **SARAisAWESOME: Sokeefe forever! Yeah, me too! Um... you didn't mean Tam and Linh as a ship... right?**

 **Keefoster4thewin: Thanks!**

 **LoganRecord: Yep.**

 **BookLover3212019: Thanks! Yes. Yes I do.**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! XD. Oh mallowmelt no. (I probably will eventually).**

 **DangerousPie1: Brappiness for life! Lol. True. Thanks!**

 **Country-Fangirl: Thanks! That's hilarious. Your poor brother. Actually, not really. The secret to my success is *whispers* copy and paste. Lol yeah.**

 **And now, the chapter!**

Me: Hey guys!

Keefe: Hi, A. Fan!

Linh: We missed you last chapter!

Wylie: *Cough* No we didn't *Cough*

Dex: And the chapter before that!

Tam: Not really.

Me: Shut up guys.

Sophie: Fangirl! It's been two whole weeks!

Wylie: Best two weeks of my life.

Me: Shut up Wylie. Sophie! It's been too long!

Tam: It hasn't been long enough.

Me: Shut _up_ Tam.

Biana: Hey! What's happening this chapter?

Me: You get to choose!

Biana: Really?

Tam: Really?

Dex: Really?

*Tam and Dex panic*

Tam: Biana, your hair looks lovely today!

Dex: YOUR HAIR LOOKS LOVELY EVERYDAY!

Tam: Of course it does! But it looks even prettier today, which I didn't even think possible!

Dex: And may I just say I love your outfit?

Me: Guys. Shut up. She's already chosen in an Alternate Universe. An Alternate Universe that is about to become this universe.

Dex: It was me!

Tam: It was me!

Dex: It was me!

Tam: It was me!

Dex: It was me!

Tam: It was me!

Dex: It was me!

Tam: It was me!

Dex: It was me!

Tam: It was me!

Dex: It was me!

Tam: It was me!

Sophie: It was me!

*Everyone stares at her*

Sophie: Sorry, just had to shut you up.

Glitterbutt23: Anyway, shall we read the chapter?

Me: We shall.

 **WARNING! DIANA OR BAM SPOILERS AHEAD! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE FINAL CHAPTER OF DIANA OR BAM! Or do, but then the ending will be ruined.**

 **Well, I warned you.**

 _Quick recap: All of the girls impersonated Biana. To discover who was the real one, Keefe showed them a brown outfit. This made the real Biana faint, so then Keefe said true love's kiss could revive her. That sparked a fight between Dex and Tam. To prevent them from killing each other, Biana has to choose._

Sophie: Wow, great idea, Keefe.

Keefe: At LeAsT iT mAdE hEr ChOoSe!

 _Biana: I choose..._

 _..._

 _TAAAAMMMMMM!_

Biana: Oh my mallowmelt! I DO choose Tam! It's so clear to me now! Tam, I'm sorry it took me so long! I was confused about how I loved Dex, but now I know he was always like a brother to me!

Dex: Friendzoned by my first crush, brotherzoned by my second... Marella I swear if you cousinzone me...

Tam: YES! I KNEW IT! BAM FOREVER! SALTY TAMTAMS ARE LIFE!

Sophie: *Guiltily looks up from eating TamTams.* ...Whoops. **(TamTams are a real thing. Look them up if you don't believe me.)**

Dex: Oh well. Marella is really great! I love her! Biana, thank you for showing me how much I love Marella!

Marella: Thanks Dex! I think you're amazing too!

Me: Ah, unfortunately, the Dex we are reading about isn't QUITE as thrilled...

Biana: Ah well that sucks. Can I kiss Tam now?

Me: Soon.

 _Dex: NOOOO!_

 _Tam: YEEESSSSS! THE SALT WILL PREVAIL!_

 _Marella: So, Dex... *Winks*_

 _Keefe: KISS! KISS! KISS!_

 _Tam: Okay!_

 _Biana: Sure!_

 _Keefe: Not you, I don't want Bangs Boy to have happiness yet. I WANT A DEXELLA KISSSSSSSSS!_

 _Dex: Wut?_

 _Marella: As you wish, Lord Hunkyhair._

 _*First Dexella kiss in Elvin history unless there were two people named Dex and Marella before them and they liked each other but that is not likely*_

Tam: The author put a lot of thought into this...

Glitterbutt23: Yep!

Me, being the math nerd that I am: I SHALL CALCULATE THE PROBABILITY OF THAT HAPPENING! THERE IS A *Thinks* 3.141592653589793238462643383% **(Yes those are the digits of pi that I have memorized. Yes I am a nerd. Yes apple pie is the best pie and I will never be convinced otherwise.)** chance of that. **(Disclaimer: Not the real statistic. I don't feel like doing that. I'm not _that_ nerdy. Actually I kinda am. But still.)**

Fitz: Nerd.

Me: Fitz! You have given me the greatest of compliments!

Fitz: Wait what that wasn't meant to be a com-

Me: NERDS ARE COOLER THAN COOL PEOPLE! NERDS RULE THE WORLD! NERDS FOREVER!

Sophie: How about we just move on...

Linh: Yeah probably a good idea.

Dex: WAIT NO I NEED TO KISS MARELLA IN THIS STORY!

Me: Then get on with it.

*According to my incorrect earlier calculations, there is a 96.8584073464% chance that this is the second Dexella kiss in history.*

 _Sophie: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!_

 _Linh: BAM! IT'S DEXELLAAAAA!_

Tam: Wow, you really ship this.

Linh: I want Biana to be my sister!

Biana: I know, right? That's be awesome!

Linh: I've always wanted a sister!

Tam: Oh... wow... thanks...

 _Tam: Enough of this! I must kiss Biana! If Biana is okay with it, of course, because I completely respect her boundaries and want her to be 100% comfortable in our relationship._

Biana: Awww... Tam... that's so sweet! People *cough, men, cough* really should be more respectful about what women want in a relationship!

Fitz: Yeah Tam... be nice to my sister.

Tam: Wouldn't dream of doing otherwise.

 _Fitz: Consent is important children!_

Sophie: Mallowmelt, Fitz, now you sound like a sixth grade health teacher.

 _Keefe: Oh, by the way, a reader requested your death, so I'm afraid we have no choice but to kill you._

Fitz: WHAT!? WHO IS THIS READER!

Me: Calm down, Fitz, we probably won't actually kill you.

Glitterbutt23: The key word in that sentence was 'probably'.

Fitz: Wait, you control me in that story? I thought you controlled me in this story!

Glitterbutt23: A. Fan controls you in this story. I control you in Diana or Bam.

Fitz: Oh. So does that mean you guys control who lives, who dies-

Me: WHO TELLS YOUR STORRRRYYYYYYYYYY!

 _Sophie: We'll get to that later, now we need a BAM kiss!_

 _Tam: Biana?_

 _Biana: Tam?_

 _Tam: No, I was asking for permission._

 _Biana: Of course!_

 _Tam: YESSSS *Kisses Biana*_

Tam: Finally! *Kisses Biana*

 _Sophie:_ _AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!_

 _Linh: BAMMMMM ITSSSS DEXELLAAAAAA!_

 _Dex: We get it Linh. You ship it._

 _Fitz: Wait. Does this mean Dex is in a relationship... BeFoRe Me?!_

 _Dex: *Suddenly proud, puts arm around blushing Marella* Well I guess I am!_

Dex: Woah, really? Cool!

 _Fitz: N-no this can't be happening. I'm Fitzroy Avery Vacker..._

 _Keefe: And I'm Lord Hunkyhair. What's your point?_

 _Fitz: Well I'm going to date... THE CHANDELIER!_

Fitz: I love the chandelier! It is my one true love, truer than Sophie, even! IIIIIIII WANNA SWIIIIIINNNGGGGGGG FROM THE CHANDELIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Glitterbutt23: Oh great, now he's singing.

Dex: I think I'm deaf.

Sophie: Sorry, what'd you say? I'm going deaf.

 _Sophie: Fitz. What the mallowmelt._

 _Biana: Anyways... while you guys were arguing I created BAM IT'S DEXELLA! Merchandise. We have hats, sweatshirts, mugs, and dress-_

 _Sophie: Wait. Do. They. Have. POCKETS?!_

Tam: Oh my mallowmelt, Sophie, I think you're a little crazy.

Sophie: pOcKeTs ArE iMpOrTaNt!

 _Biana: Of course what fashion designer designs clothes without pockets?_

 _Sophie: Ummmm, every human women's clothes designer..._

 _Linh: HOW DARE THEY!? THIS IS INEQUALITY! WOMEN DESERVE POCKETS JUST AS MUCH AS MEN! WHY DO_ WE _HAVE THOS FAKE POCKETS!_

Me: *Tries to put hands in pockets and realizes the are those fake 1-millimeter deep ones* I really don't know.

 _Marella: Wow, the only way to make Linh mad is to talk about pockets. Who knew?_

 _Linh: pPpPpPoOoOoOcCcCcKkKkKkKkKkKeEeTtTtTtTsSsSsSsSsSsS!_

Tam: Wow... Linh... We should ship Lockets now.

Linh: LoCkEtS!1!1!1

Wylie: Oooooookay then.

 _Fitz: Pockets aren't that great anyway!_

Sophie: How dare you say such a thing?

 _Linh: *Punches Fitz* You were saying?_

Biana: Wow... Linh...

Linh: Hehe sorry?

 _Sophie: I think we are done here. LET US LEAVE!_

 _Biana: *Casually jumps off cliff*_

Tam: Biana, I love you, but WHAT THE MALLOWMELT WERE YOU THINKING!?

 _Sophie: NO! BIANA! I'M THE TELEPORTER!_

 _Tam: NOOOOOO! BIANA! *Uses shadowflux to catch her*_

 _Biana: My hero!_

 _Linh: Awwwww. Bam fluff._

 _Sophie: OK, seriously. We are done here._

 _Fitz: Sophie. Wait._

 _Sophie: YEEEEEESSSS?_

 _Fitz: I-I-I WANT TO BE SALTY!  
_

All except Glitterbutt23 and me: WHAT!?

Glitterbutt23: Read earlier Diana or Bam chapters to find out.

 _Sophie: What do you mean Fitz?_

 _Fitz: We need to break up._

Fitz: What? I wouldn't dump Sophie to be salty! That's so dumb! I would dump her over something very important like matchmaking, or for the chandelier.

Me: Okay, and that's the end of Diana or Bam! By the way, because Glitterbutt23 is SUCH A BRAINLESS IDIOT THAT SHE CAN'T EVEN PRESS A FEW BUTTONS AND SEND THE LAST CHAPTER TO ME VIA PRIVATE MESSAGING EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HER LIKE A MILLION TIMES, I had to spend **_45 MINUTES_** typing the whole Diana or Bam? chapter out. Ugh. I'm so sick of typing. Wait, why am I still typing? Anyway, you're all welcome for the _45 MINUTES_ I spent copying a chapter because the author was TOO LAZY TO SEND IT TO ME! Credit still goes to Glitterbutt23. She's an idiot, but I'm not a plagiarist. Wait, now I'm just doing the author's note while typing. Whoops. Anyway I updated both Legacy and Hamilton References! Please check those out! And in the reviews tell me (so I can tell GB23) whether you want her to continue Diana or Bam or write a new story. And most importantly of all...

PLEASE REVIEW!

Actually no wait I'm like ten words away from longest chapter... THERE! LONGEST CHAPTER! 1,813 WORDS!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	50. Chapter 49

**Hello! WE ARE SO CLOSE TO THE END OF SCHOOL COME ON GUYS WE CAN MAKE IT!**

 **BookLover3212019: Thanks!**

 **L: Thanks!**

 **Keephie-13: Yay! Thanks! You could ask for Keephie in the actual books!**

 **Glitterbutt23: No I didn't. Fitzroy is just being an iggy fart and lying. Wait why am I typing this? I could've said it to you. Oh well.**

 **MidnightBunny: Ikr? They're actually pretty good.**

 **LunaLovergood397: I know. Typing it sucked. And it's all my idiot best friend's fault. Okay! I use the website.**

 **DangerousPie1: I'll tell Glitterbutt23. YAY! Thanks!**

 **Guest: MORE SHALL COME! I WILL NEVER STOP! I AM NONSTOP! I ACTUALLY PROBABLY WILL STOP EVENTUALLY BUT NOT YET! Nah, I don't mind that you ship sophitz as long as you don't flame me.**

 **And now, the chapter!**

Me: Hello!

Elwin: Uh, hi.

Me: Is Sophie here?

Elwin: Shockingly enough, no.

Me: Wow. She'll probably have a near death experience soon, don't worry.

Elwin: That kinda makes me more worried...

Me: nO rEaSoN tO wOrRy!

Elwin: What?

Me: Sorry. My Inner Alden took over for a second.

Elwin: Okaayyyyyyyyy then. Quick question: Why are you here?

Me: Um, well, for starters, I've decided we should clone you and give five or six clones to Sophie, and then a few to each of her friends. This will help prevent them from coming quite as close to death as they do now.

Elwin: That's a great idea. Do you know how to clone me?

Me: No.

Elwin: Darn.

Me: I also want to interrogate you about someone's love life.

Elwin: Ooooooooh, FUN!

Me: I know, right? But I've done too many interviews about Sophie's love life. I'm SO sick of her triangle. GLITTERBUTT23!

Glitterbutt23: What do you want?

Me: Wait never mind I forgot we aren't friends anymore because YOU CHOSE A _PUG_ OVER _ME!_ **(Disclaimer: We are friends still. She's just an idiot. Btw if you're a Broadway fan check out her story KOTLC on Broadway.)**

Elwin: Bronteway?

Glitterbutt23: wHy DoEs EvErYoNe ThInK iT's BrOnTeWaY? It's Broadway, people. BROADway.

Me: Anyway, Glitterbutt23, who's love life should we interrogate Elwin about?

Glitterbutt23: Biana?

Me: Nah, we just resolved that.

Elwin: You did? Give my congratulations to Dex.

Me: Tam, actually.

Elwin: w-w-w-what? No! This can't be happening! Now what do I do with all my Diana merchandise? *Gestures to mountain of Diana merchandise* Please tell me I don't also have to get rid of my Keephie merchandise *Gestures to room filled with Keephie merchandise*

Me: Don't worry. This is my story. I'll make sure no harm ever, _ever,_ _ever,_ _ **ever, EVER**_ comes to Keephie.

Elwin: Cool. Back to who's love life you're going to interrogate me about.

Glitterbutt23: What about Elwin's?

Me: Nah, his isn't interesting enough. Livwin forever!

Glitterbutt23: You have a point. How about... Linh?

Me: Good idea. Elwin, how well do you know Linh?

Elwin: Pretty well. Am I going to be interrogated about her love life?

Me: Yep! So, first of all: Wylie. Linh and Wylie. Thoughts? Opinions? Please?

Elwin: Yeah, I think they're pretty cute together.

Me: That's good cause they're dating.

Glitterbutt23: And have hinted at wanting to be engaged.

Me: I mean, that was mostly us hinting at wanting them to be engaged.

Glitterbutt23: THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

Me: Of course it isn't!

*Elwin is just looking very confused*

Me: Anyway, next Linh ship!

Elwin: What's a ship?

Me: *Has finally given up on explaining what ships are and is sure that the readers are tired of it too* Glitterbutt23? You have the floor.

Glitterbutt23: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, we fought for these ideals we shouldn't settle for less. These are wise words; enterprising men quote 'em! Don't act surprised, you guys, 'cause I wrote 'em!

Me: Glitterbutt23?

Glitterbutt23: Yes?

Me: I didn't want you to sing. I wanted you to explain what ships are.

Glitterbutt23: Ships? And guns? And so the balance shifts.

Me: I am slow to anger but I toe the line, as I reckon with the effects of your life on mine! Weehawken, dawn, guns drawn.

Glitterbutt23: You're on.

*Music plays*

Glitterbutt23 and I *Applause in background*: I HAVE THE HONOR TO BE YOUR DISOBEDIENT SERVANT!

Glitterbutt23: G-dot-Butt.

Me: A. Fan.

Elwin: What. The. Mallowmelt.

Me: Ooh! Found our doctor for the duel!

Glitterbutt23: Great!

Elwin: Umm...

Me: Sorry about that. It was her fault, as always. Glitterbutt23, explain what ships are.

Glitterbutt23: *Dives in to explanation about ships that I don't want to type because as previously mentioned you guys are sick of reading those*

Elwin: Ah, got it. So, what's the next Linh... ship?

Me: Linh and Fitz.

Elwin: Well I suppose that wouldn't be too bad. He at least seemed to like her, even though she doesn't really like him.

Me: Yeah but he liked her for her powers not for her personality. He doesn't deserve her.

Elwin: True.

Glitterbutt23: Next up is... *Looks at smudged writing on hand* A. Fan, your handwriting really is terrible. Does this say Desk?

Me: Dex, you Iggy fart, Dex.

Glitterbutt23: Not my fault you can't spell.

Me: That's not true! Well actually I am terrible at spelling, but I know how to spell Dex. The thing I can't do is write legibly.

Glitterbutt23: Ohhhhhhh. So, Dex and Linh, what do you think?

Elwin: That one's honestly pretty cute. Like, I don't really ship it, but I wouldn't be disappointed if it happened.

Glitterbutt23: I HATE DINH!

Me: Don't mind her. She's a moron.

Glitterbutt23: HEY! It's true, but HEY!

Me: Linh and Keefe. Go.

Elwin: Linh and... Keefe? No. I can't see it. Have they ever done anything to indicate that they could have a relationship?

Me: Well they both exist and they are in the same general age range, so it's a ship.

Elwin: Wow. Okay then.

Glitterbutt23: Next ship is Linh and... Sophia? Sophie? Mallowmelt, can you just write ONE WORD in such a way that I can read it!?

Me: Not my problem that you can't read.

Glitterbutt23: HEY!

Me: You walked right into that.

Elwin: So Linh and Sophie?

Me: Solinh and Sophie?

Elwin: What.

Me: It's kinda ironic that when mentioning the couple you unintentionally said the ship name.

Elwin: Okay then. They're kinda cute. I ship it the same way I ship Dex and Linh: Not really, but I don't mind the ship.

Glitterbutt23: Cool, cool. Next is... Biana? Hey, I could read that! This is a once in a lifetime event, people!

Me: Shut up. Elwin?

Elwin: Ehhhh... not really. It's okay, but I don't really ship it.

Glitterbutt23: And finally,

Me: MARELLINH!

Elwin: YES! YES! THIS IS MY OTP! I LOVE THE FIRE/WATER THINGY! YES! I SHIP!

Glitterbutt23: *stage whispers* DOES HE REALIZE THAT IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN?

Elwin: Yeah. Lylie is still cute, but... MARELLINH FOREVER!

 **Well, hope you enjoyed. Please review!**

 **Also: Next chapter is chapter fifty. Any requests?**


	51. Chapter 50!

**Hello, my dudes! If you could direct your attention to the little chapter thingy in the corner, you'll see that this is the fiftieth chapter! Yay! So I'm doing something special! And you will find out what it is...**

 **After I respond to reviews.**

 **Heh heh.**

 **Heh.**

 **Oh wait, I also have a special announcement! Be sure to check out my collaborative account with Glitterbutt23, Glitter-Fangirls-23 (You'll never guess how we came up with the name).**

 **MidnightBunny: Which idea? Sorry, my brain is going on vacation and will not be returning anytime soon. And yeah, that story is so sad. It's on my profile.**

 **L: I guess. I used to ship it, but... Dinh is okay... ish... but no. I mostly like Marellinh because of the "opposites" thingy, both in ability and personality.**

 **LunaLovegood397: Oh... okay then... ew. You're welcome! Those are disgusting ship names for an even more disgusting ship. Lol.**

 **Keephie-13: Yeah, Linh is too good for this fandom. I** **mostly like Marellinh because of the "opposites" thingy, both in ability and personality.**

 **County-Fangirl: Thanks! Oh yes I do... *smiles* Oh... um... you're wish shall be granted! I'm a black belt, but... still. Please don't kill me?**

 **DangerousPie1: Thanks so much!**

 **Enjoy the chapter!**

Me: Hey guys! Guess what chapter it is!

Wylie: Um... Let me guess. The one where you act like an idiot? Wait, never mind, that's every chapter. My bad.

Me: Wylie... it's been fifty whole chapters of you hating me and me torturing you! It feels like just yesterday that I was writing your first "I hate you." *Sniffs dramatically*

Sophie: Wait, it's chapter fifty?

Me: Well technically it's chapter fifty one, but one chapter was a special announcement, so yeah. Chapter fifty.

Linh: Wow, congratulations!

Me: Aww, thank you Linh. See Wylie, your girlfriend's nice, why aren't you?

Wylie: Because only someone as amazingly perfect as Linh could ever be nice to someone as incredibly terrible as you.

Tam: I love how you just complimented Linh AND insulted A. Fan in the same sentence! You truly deserve my sister.

Keefe: So do you have anything special planned for chapter fifty?

Me: As a matter of fact, I do! *Snaps fingers* *Paper, pencil, and clipboards appear in everyone's hands* Actually, wait, Wylie, you can leave.

Wylie: *In stunned disbelief. A smile slowly spreads across his face as he realizes what I'm saying*

Me: Before you get too excited, please note that Glitterbutt23 will be with you. We can see how that went next chapter.

Wylie: *Says some words that I really shouldn't put in this story*

Glitterbutt23: LANGUAGE, YOUNG MAN, WHO IS LIKE EIGHT YEARS OLDER THAN ME BUT WHATEVER!

*Glitterbutt23 and Wylie light leap away, some less willingly than others*

Me: Okay, the rest of you... you'll be making a list. Rank the people in this room, myself excluded, in order of how much you'd want to date them.

Biana: You do realize we have some siblings here, right?

Me: Yeah, I know. Linh, instead of Tam you can put Wylie on your list. Biana, you replace Fitz with Jensi. Tam, Fitz, you guys have to put Stina on your list. Probably at the bottom. Ready, set, go!

Me: *Just reads until they're all ready*

Me: Are you guys done yet?

All: Yep.

Me: Okay, Fitz, you go first.

Fitz: *Clears throat* NUMBER ONE: SOPHIE!

Sophie: *Gags*

Fitz: Number two, Sophie.

Keefe: Um, dude? You do realize-

Fitz: Number three, Sophie. Number four, Sophie. Number five, Sophie. Number six, Sophie. Number seven, Sophie. Number eight, Sophie. Number ni-

Biana: Yeah, we get it. And Fitz you do know that's not how it's supposed to work.

Fitz: It's not?

Me: GLITTERBUTT23! GET IN HERE!

Glitterbutt23: What is it?

Me: Explain to Fitz the process of chapter fifty.

Glitterbutt23: Okay! *Drags him away*

Me: *Sighs* Who's next?

Biana: I'll go! Number one, Tam.

Linh: BAM! IT'S TIANA!

Biana: Number two, Dex.

Tam: Y-you mean... YOU WOULD DATE THE COMPETITION! *Punches Dex*

Biana: Tam. I chose you over him, okay? He would be my second choice. I considered dating him for a reason. But I also chose you for a reason.

Tam: You promise you wouldn't leave me for him? *Punches Dex again*

Biana: I promise.

*Tam and Biana lean in closer, about to kiss. The sweet moment is interrupted by Dex groaning "Medic..."*

Tam: YOU INTERRUPTED OUR KISS! *Punches Dex yet _again*_

Me: *Rolls eyes* _Boys_. *Snaps fingers*

Dex: Thanks, A. Fan!

Linh: So, um... number three?

Biana: Three, Sophie.

Me: THREE! I AM HAPPINESS! BECAUSE I TOTALLY DIDN'T MAKE THAT HAPPEN!

Biana: *Rolls eyes* Um, four, Keefe.

Tam: *Growls* *Punches Keefe*

Keefe: How dare you, Bangs Boy! *Punches Tam*

Tam: *Punches Keefe*

Keefe: *Punches Tam*

Yeah... you can probably see where this is going...

*Half an hour and several Elwin visits later...*

Biana: Honestly I should've just lied. Tam, honey, please don't punch anyone else. My fifth is Linh. Six, Marella. Those two were honestly pretty close. And um, seven, Jensi. He's not here to react, so, um... yeah. Okay. Cool. Who's next?

Keefe: I'll go! Number one, SOPHIE!

Sophie: *Hides throwing star behind her back* Um, of course!

Keefe: Two, Linh.

Tam: LINH!? Don't make me punch you again...

Keefe: Dude. Chill. She's nice and the thought of dating her doesn't immediately make me want to die in a hole. That doesn't mean I like her. Three, Tam.

Tam: EW- I mean, that wouldn't be so bad, but still ew.

Me: KAM!?

Tam, Keefe: Ew no.

Me: KAM BROMANCE?!

Tam: Um...

Keefe: Yeah?

Tam: Sure?

Me: KAM BROMANCE!

Tam: Is she okay?

Keefe: Probably not. Four, Marella. Five, Biana. Six, Dex. And seven, Fitz.

Dex: Me next! Me next! So one is Marella, obviously. Two is Biana- and no, Marella, I _am_ over her. Chill. Don't kill anyone. Three is Sophie, and again, I AM over her. Four is Linh. Five is Fitz.

Keefe: Fitz? Ew.

Me: ShIp It LiKe FeDeX!

Dex: Okay weirdo. Six is Keefe, and seven is Tam.

Me: Huh. That was relatively uneventful. Linh, your turn.

Linh: Okay! Just know that I really like everyone on this list and none of you are _bad_ options, so please don't take any offense.

Me: Linh. Is. Too. Nice.

Linh: One, Wylie. Two, Dex. Three, Keefe. Four, Marella. Five, Sophie. Six, Fitz. Seven, Biana.

Tam: Linh is too nice for anyone to even comment on her list. Wow. I'll go now. One, Biana! Two, Marella. Three, Keefe.

Me: KAM BROMANCE!

Tam: ...Four, Sophie. Five, Dex. Six, Fitz. Seven, Stina.

Fitz: Hey guys! I'm back! With the new and improved list! By the way, Glitterbutt23 told me I could put the chandelier on the list.

Me: GLITTER- never mind. Let's just hear your list.

Fitz: One, Chandelier! Two, Sophie!

Sophie: *Gags*

Keefe: *Puts arm around Sophie*

Fitz: Three, Linh! Because she has awesome powers!

Me: Oh sure, her POWERS. Not the fact that she is the nicest elf in the entire history of the world or anything.

Fitz: You get it! Four, Marella. Five, Dex. Wait, Dex? Did I get it right that time?

Me: Never mind, I ship FedEx only outside this story.

Fitz: Six, Tam. Seven, K-K-Keefe.

Keefe: Um okay. Now we just have Marella and Sophie.

Sophie: Marella you go.

Marella: Fine. One, Dex! Two, Tam!

Dex: *Punches Tam*

Linh: GUYS WE SETTLED THIS ALREADY! STOP PUNCHING EACH OTHER!

Dex: Sorry Linh.

Tam: Sorry Linh.

Marella: MAY I CONTINUE?

Boys: *Nod*

Marella: Three, Linh. Four, Keefe. Five, Biana. Six, Sophie. Seven, Fitz.

Fitz: How come I'm always last?

Me: Not always. You were fifth on Dex's list, sixth on Linh's, and not on Biana's.

Fitz: Oh wow, _thanks_.

Me: You're very welcome!

Keefe: Okay, I think we're all dying to know how Sophie ranked us. Sophie?

Sophie: Okay, so, um, first of all, why is everyone so invested in my love life?

Me: Ask Shannon Messenger.

Sophie: I'll do that later.

Me: Wait you're actually gonna-

Sophie: So anyway, one, Keefe! Of course!

Keefe: TEAM FOSTER KEEFE SHALL ALWAYS RULE!

Sophie: My number two is, um, um, kinda... Fitz?

Me: *Runs away and barfs*

Keefe: *Punches Fitz*

Fitz: *Punches Keefe*

Me: *Returning to see them punching each other* Honestly, no one BLOCKS THE PUNCH! IT'S NOT EVEN HARD! I'll teach you once we're done.

Biana: Fitz is your second? Sophie, you've got some explaining to do.

Sophie: He's cute! And he has TEAL EYES!

Biana: AND I DON'T? WHAT COLOR DO YOU THINK MY EYES ARE!? PERIWINKLE!?

Dex: No that's me.

Me: Do I detect jealousy?

Biana, Sophie: *Blushes* NO!

Me: Do I detect... SOPHIANA!

Keefe, Tam: NO!

Me: Do I detect... KAM?

Marella: You have problems.

Me: Thanks. Anyway, Sophie, who's your third?

Sophie: Biana.

Me: I KNEW IT! I KNEW I DETECTED SOPHIANA!

Sophie: Okay weirdo. Four is Linh, five is Dex.

Dex: Ehhhhhh... not what you thought when I gave you crush cuffs.

Sophie: Five, Dex. Five out of seven. That's not high. That is exactly what I thought when you gave me crush cuffs.

Dex: Oh. Well elves don't take math.

Me: *Destroys something* THEY DON'T! WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS!

Tam: *Shrugs* Bronte's, probably.

Me: Good to know. I'll destroy him later.

Sophie: Okay. Um. Six, Tam. Seven, Marella.

Marella: I'm LAST!?

Me: Sophella? Nahhhhhhhh.

All: *Glare at me*

Marella: No. I just can't believe R-r-RITZ CRACKER BEAT ME AT SOMETHING!

Me: Oh yes that is tragic. Anyway, that's everyone!

 **Wow. Fifty chapters. Fifty. Whole. Chapters.** **43109** **(I think) words of this insanity. This is like wow. Just wow. Thank you guys so much for all the reviews, favorites, follows, and support.**

 **Please review!**


	52. Chapter (The other) 51

**Right now I'm thinking about if you guys knew the names I gave these documents. Some of them are pretty weird...**

 **Some examples:**

 **The Fitz/Wylie one is named: Fitz x Wylie: Lol torture.**

 **Foskets is callled: The woes of pocketlessness.**

 **Brappiness is called: Torturing Bronte.**

 **Alden/Worries is called: nO rEaSoN tO wOrRy.**

 **Keefe/Hair is called: NOT THE HAIR! ~Lord Hunkyhair.**

 **This document is called "Alvar? Yucky."**

 **Idk why I'm thinking about this. I just thought it would probably entertain you.**

 **L: Thank you! Yeah, probably, but since when is my story AT ALL similar to canon? Yeah, I guess. Hmm... thank Shannon for Tam and Linh.**

 **Country-Fangirl: Um... *grabs pencil* I'M ARMED! DON'T KILL ME! Thanks! And yes, the face punching. Honestly, you'd think someone would BLOCK eventually. *Sighs in disgust even though I wrote it.***

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! Hmm... THIS CHAPTER SAYS OTHERWISE! Yes it is. Because they're boys, duh.**

 **Stargirl020: Thank you so much!**

 **DangerousPie1: Someone understands me! Thanks! I'll give you a tip: Think of the dumbest possible thing a character could say. Then make them say it. That's how I write this story.**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! Of course there will be more/ THAR WILL BE OAR (A hilarious typo from the one and only Glitterbutt23).**

 **Enjoy "Alvar? Yucky." This chapter is dedicated to LunaLovegood397 for her hardcore Alvrik (Alvar x Terik) shipping, as that is truly the inspiration for this chapter.**

Alvar: Hold on. Are you calling me yucky?

Me: Yeah. So? It's true.

Alvar: So many negative adjectives and you go with YUCKY!? I'm offended.

Me: Fine. How about revolting? Repellent, repulsive, sickening, nauseating, nauseous, stomach-churning, stomach-turning, off-putting, unpalatable, unappetizing, uninviting, unsavory, distasteful, foul, nasty, obnoxious, odious; vomitous; informalyucky, icky, gross, sick-making, gut-churning, offensive, appalling, outrageous, objectionable, displeasing, shocking, horrifying, scandalous, monstrous, unspeakable, shameless, shameful, vulgar, gross, vile, wicked, odious, heinous, abhorrent, loathsome, obnoxious, detestable, hateful, sickening, contemptible, despicable, deplorable, abominable, execrable, unforgivable, unpardonable, inexcusable, intolerable, insupportable, egregious... any of these good enough for you?

Alvar: Nerd.

Me: Thanks! Now, Glitterbutt23 is not here because she is approximately 4,500 miles from where I am typing this. So I get to torture Alvar all by myself!

Alvar: Hold on. Torture?

Me: Yep! We're going to be talking...

*Dramatic music*

Me: About...

*Dramatic music*

Me: YOUR LOVE LIFE!

Alvar: Oh, we're going to be here for a WHILE.

Me: Let's start with Terik.

Alvar: *Scoffs* Terik? Who's Terik.

Me: *Snaps fingers*

Terik: ALVAR! Hey bro, wassup?

Alvar: *Stage whispers* I'm PRETENDING I don't KNOW YOU.

Terik: Oh sorry Alvar. I just figured we were here for a date, with her as a creepy stalker- HEY! I remember you! You were the one who revealed me to the council!

Me: Oh yeah.

Alvar: Okay fine we know each other. But we aren't dating!

Me: THIS NOTE BEGS TO DIFFER!

Note: I differ. Please?

Me: Um... that means you say otherwise.

Note: Oh. "Hey Terik. How's life, bro? Thanks for telling them I wasn't evil! Haha that was funny! They actually fell for it! Lol. Next Neverseen meeting on Tuesday! XOXO Alvar."

Me: EXPLAIN!

Alvar: Oh I always sign notes XOXO. Like, my RSPV for this interrogation.

Me: *Reads note* "Dear S-" Uh, I mean, Fangirl. "Sounds dreadful. I can't wait! XOXO Alvar" And yes, readers, I do schedule these in advance... sometimes. And I'm burning this. *Lights fire with author powers* Just watch it all... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Alvar: Hey that's rude.

Me: So anyway, spill. Are you two dating?

Terik: Yes, actually, we are.

Alvar: We are?

Terik: Yes, we are.

Alvar: No we aren't.

Me: OOOOOOOOOOH! DRAMA! *Starts eating popcorn* **(AN: My little sister is eating popcorn right now and it smells so good and now I'm craving it and yeah I stole some.)**

Terik: Yes we are.

Alvar: No, we WERE.

Terik: ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?!

Alvar: Terik, we've been dating for three whole hours. You can't expect me to commit to much longer.

Terik: Alvar! I thought what we has was true love!

Me: *Kinda wants to throw up from the disgustingness of Alvrik but still eating popcorn* **(Update: I just got some of my own popcorn. :))**

Alvar: Sorry Terik. That's how I roll.

Me: Alvar's a player? Well I suppose it's to be expected by the fact that he had three girlfriends at a time. Those poor women.

Alvar: Maybe in a few days I'll decide I like you again and then we'll date for about a day until I find someone better. Then, a few days later, I break up with that person and repeat.

Terik: Okay, cool. Bye! *Light leaps away*

Me: Up next: Alvar and Ruy. Ralvar. Clearly the best Alvar ship. I mean, they're both so stupid! *Snaps fingers*

Ruy: What?

Me: I'm shipping you with Alvar.

Ruy: Ew, Alvar.

Alvar: Ew, Ruy.

Me: Aww, it's a match made in exile!

Ruy: I LOVE YOU ALVAR!

Alvar: I LOVE YOU TOO RUY! FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS AT LEAST!

Ruy: BRO HUG!

Alvar: _Bro_ hug? I thought we were dating!

Ruy: Well I'm less committed than you are. My relationships tend to last around three seconds.

Alvar: Omg that's so hot.

Ruy: Omg I love you Alvar. I love you so much that the two of us will last more than a minute!

Alvar: Woah, really? *Tears up* That means so much to me.

Me: *Gagging and yet STILL enjoying the popcorn*

Ruy: *Checks watch* Wow, two whole minutes. This really was a great relationship, but I'm afraid it has to end. I'll never forget you, Alvar.

Alvar: I'll never forget you either, Ruy! Bro hug?

Ruy: Nah. Couple hug. I like you again.

Me: *Done with popcorn* OKAY THAT'S IT! RUY GO AWAY!

Ruy: Good bye, my love! Actually wait no now we're just friends. Never mind.

Me: GO! AWAY! BEFORE! I! USE! MY! AUTHOR! POWERS!

Ruy: *Light leaps away*

Me: Let's see, who else... Hmm... who do I love to torture? *Light bulb actually appears above my head* WYLIE!

Wylie: Oh no. No you do not. I will not agree to this. *Light leaps away*

Me: Well that worked. I guess we're done here.

 **LunaLovegood397, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. You other peoples too. Happy summer and please review!**


	53. Chapter 52

**Okay so if you'll direct your attention to the chapter-thingy you'll see that this is chapter fifty two.**

 **And remember that Tam/Marella chapter? The one that was written by Glitterbutt23?**

 **(If anyone can see where this is going you win oxygen)**

 **So, Glitterbutt23 wrote one chapter.**

 **A. Fan wrote... THE OTHER FIFTY ONE!**

 **Sorry. But I'm not really sorry.**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! It's quite accurate! :)**

 **DangerousPie1: If you use the writing tip I can't wait to read your story! And yes, insulting me at every opportunity, how charming!**

 **MidnightBunny: Ah yes that idea! Any requests for specific characters?**

 **L: One way of putting it. Yeah, they should. Ruy is weird. They're all weird. Nice conclusion, but I still ship Ralvar.**

 **Country-Fangirl: I hope you killed Councillor Alina! Or Lord Cassius! Popcorn popcorn popcorn! yEs YoU aRe AnD iT's GrEaT!**

 **BookLover3212019: Thanks! YES YES I DO. I HAVE A LOT OF REASONS THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE TYPING OUT. He probably hurt his leg because a) He wanted/The neverseen wanted him to convince people that he wasn't part of the neverseen, or b) he was being punished for something. I've read a few of them. I'll try... maybe Tedros/Somebody? Or Sophie/Sophie, that'd be funny.**

 **LunaLovegood397: YOU'RE WELCOME! But I ship... RALVAR! THIS SHIP IS AMAZING-ER! Thanks!**

 **Anyway, remember chapter fifty? When I forced Wylie to stay with Glitterbutt23? I asked her (through email) what she did to him. "I gave him fake results of lylie vs leefe polls and then I put him in a room with himh for 24 hours! He did not appreciate it. I do not know why?" (BTW Himh is our nickname for a really annoying pansycake at our school.)**

 **Enjoy the chapter! This document is named "The other fifty one"**

Me: WYLIE!

Wylie: What do you want?

Me: Remember that bonding time you spent with Glitterbutt23 a few chapters ago?

Wylie: WE DO NOT SPEAKETH OF THAT TORTURE!

Me: Don't worry, Wylie. She's on the other side of the planet now. She can't hurt you.

Glitterbutt23: OH REALLY!? THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SUMMARY OF THIS CHAPTER THAT I EMAILED A. FAN?

Me: Never mind. Disregard my meaningless comforting statements. She CAN hurt you. But anyway, the readers want to know about that torture. Actually, I'm not sure if they do, but I want to write about it, AND THEY BETTER LIKE WHAT THEY READ!

Wylie: Why does anyone like this trash?

Me: Actually I've been asking myself that question for a while. But then I remember that it is because I AM A GENIUS AND THEY WORSHIP ME!

Wylie: More like they enjoy reading about you making a fool of yourself.

Me: NO! THEY WORSHIP ME! But anyway, I'm writing about the torture you endured.

Wylie: Well how are you going to find out exactly what happened?

Me: Easy. My friend is a telepath.

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: **(IF YOU'RE READING THIS WHICH YOU AREN'T THEN I'M SORRY ABOUT THE NAME. WE'RE STILL FRIENDS RIGHT?)** Hey Wylie!

Wylie: Go away.

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: Wait, A. Fan? I need permission to read his mind.

Me: Well I'm a mesmer so...

Wylie: YOU CAN READ MY MIND! ACTUALLY NO-

Me: GREAT HE SAID YES GO AHEAD TELEPATHIC_SO-NEUTRAL_FRIEND!

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: Um... are you sure he said yes?

Me: YEP!

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: Okay... *Places hands on Wylie's temples*

Wylie: MALLOWMELT, YOUR HANDS ARE WARM!

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: OVEN HANDS!

Me: Just read his mind already.

 **INSIDE WYLIE'S MIND...**

 _Wylie's mind: Linh is pretty. I love her. I should get her flowers! A. Fan is stupid. So is Glitterbutt23. Wait, can people hear my thoughts? Hmm... I should think of something really annoying so they stop!_

 **(I'm really sorry if you like this song but I hate it with every fiber of my being so yeah.)**

 _Wylie's mind:_ _Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road,_ _I'm gonna riiiiiiiiide 'til I can't no more!_ _I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road,_ _I'm gonna riiiiiiiiiide 'til I can't no more!_

Me: *Crying in agony* MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!

 _Wylie's mind: *Stops (Surprisingly)*_

Me: Oh yeah, I'm a mesmer. Right.

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: Now let's see... Torture with Glitterbutt23? Is that the "key phrase" I'm supposed to transmit?

Me: Yep!

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: TORTURE WITH GLITTERBUTT23! Who's Glitterbutt23?

Me: The short one.

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: I SEE A MEMORY!

Me: ENTER IT ENTER IT ENTER IT!

 _Wylie: Can I leave?_

 _GB23: No._

 _Wylie: Please?_

 _GB23: No._

 _Wylie: Why not?_

 _GB23: BECAUSE A. FAN IS DEPENDING ON ME!_

 _Wylie: That's not the real reason._

 _GB23: Because I like torturing you._

 _Wylie: That makes much more sense. Now let's just get this over with._

 _GB23: Okay! I'm going to show you a poll for the fandom's opinion on who Linh Song should date._

 _Wylie: It's probably about 100% me, right?_

 _GB23: I don't know. I haven't looked at it. Now A. Fan is calling me, something about Fitz being dumb or something? So I have to go. Just FYI, you can't leave this room. Like, it's physically impossible for you to leave this room. So don't even try. And you better read the poll results because I'm going to be quizzing you on them. BYE!_

 _Wylie: What. *Is bored for like five minutes* *Falls asleep* *Dreams about Linh because asdfghjkl*_

 _GB23: WYLIE! WAKE UP! OR I'LL DESTROY YOUR LINH SHRINE!_

 _Wylie: NOT THE LINH SHRINE!_

 _GB23: So, did you read the poll results._

 _Wylie: Nope!_

 _GB23: Well that's too bad. Now I have to read them to you._

 _Wylie: *Regrets life decisions*_

 _GB23: In first place, we have... what is this? Flinh? With 40% of the fandom._ ***PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS ALL FAKE!***

 _Wylie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE LYING!_

 _GB23: The results don't lie, Wylie._ **(Except for the minor fact that she made them up... actually I made them up... whatever. Back to the story)** _Second place, we have... a tie between... Leefe? With 20% of the fandom? And Dinh? Ew. Also 20%. Solinh... with 15%. Liana... 10%. Marellinh... 6.9999999999%. And finally, Lylie, with 0.0000000001% of the fandom! Which is basically A. Fan and me._

 **(Me, cringing at how terrible this math is)**

 _Wylie: *Has been screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO" for like 15 minutes straight when he realizes something...* THAT'S 112 PERCENT! YOU LIAR!_

 _GB23: THE RESULTS DON'T LIE! BUT I DO!_

 _Wylie: WHAT ARE THE REAL RESULTS?_

 _GB23: I'm not telling!_

 _Wylie: Fine. *Looks it up on his phone* *Don't ask me where he got the phone. Dex, probably.* LYLIE HAS MORE THAN 75 PERCENT! YAY!_ **(This one was actually based on a real poll, look up kotlc polls if you want to vote!)**

 _GB23: Fine. My first form of torture didn't work. Okay... HIMH! GET IN HERE!_

 _Himh: WHAT?_

 _GB23: I need you to torture this child._

 _Wylie: I'm an adult._

 _Himh: Why should I do what you want?_

 _GB23: THAT WAS A JOKE! I meant you should be really really nice to him._

 _Himh: WELL THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN! You're going to have to read... MY HAMILBURR FANFICTION!_

 _GB23: I can't decide if I should videotape this and use it as blackmail or just run for my life._

 _Himh:_ **(WARNING: DO NOT READ!)** Burr's POV: Hmm, Alex doesn't like me. Maybe I should duel him? Yeah, that'll work. What a perfect way to express my love!

 _GB23: FORGET IT! EVEN WYLIE DOESN'T DESERVE SUCH TORTURE! GO AWAY HIMH! WE'RE DONE NOW! BYE WYLIE!_

Me: Thank you Wylie!

Wylie: You're not welcome.

Telepathic_So-neutral_Friend: Why does Himh write Hamilburr fanfiction anyway? Also, what is hamilburr?

Me: ...I'll explain later.

 **Well, hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


	54. Chapter 53

**Warning: Even weirder than usual. Not very good. Kinda short. I have know idea what the mallowmelt it is.**

 **DragonMoon88: Hi.**

 **L: Yay for oxygen! Of course there are, have you SEEN the fandom?**

 **Guest: I'M GOING TO ASSUME YOU'RE MIDNIGHTBUNNY OKAY? IF YOU AREN'T THE MEME IS STILL GOOD.**

 **MidnightBunny: Ah yes I love that meme. YOU DO REALIZE THAT'S BASICALLY EVERY CHARACTER, RIGHT? PLEASE NARROW IT DOWN TO 3 CHARACTER REQUESTS MAXIMUM. Sokeefe already IS the most voted for ship, but I can put your announcement on here anyway.**

 **Country-Fangirl: Yay! Hmm... did you kill... FITZROY!? Popcorn chocolate popcorn chocolate mallowmelt blue cookies mallowmelt desserts I'm going crazy random random random.**

 **... okay wow what was that even.**

 **Keephie-13: Thanks! You do? I mean... OF COURSE YOU DO! Lol. Mine too.**

 **BookLover3212019: I'm going to make them react to Sophie Foster X Sophie SFGAE (I forget her last name lol) AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!**

 **LunaLovegood397: That's one way of putting it... idk she probably is. YAY WYLIE TORTURE! IT'S A SMALL PERCENTAGE OKAY? Thanks!**

 **ANNOUNCEMENT:**

 **MidnightBunny says:** **Fangirls unite!** **If you go to this website and vote without an account and come back a few hours later we can bring up the numbers so that Sokeefe is the most voted for ship!**

 **A Very Obsessed Fangirl disagrees. A Very Obsessed Fangirl knows that Team Foster-Keefe is already in the lead without cheating, and sophitz shippers already hate us, so we probably shouldn't give them more reason too. But if you want to do it, I can't stop you.**

 **And now, the chapter!**

Me: *Walking into the room where the reactions happen* Today is going to be a great reaction day! I have a great ship for them to react to! Yay! *Enters room*

Keefe and Sophie: *Kissing*

Linh and Wylie: *Kissing*

Dex and Marella: *Kissing*

Tam and Biana: *Kissing*

Fitz: *Is tangled in a chandelier and singing chandelier by Sia*

Me: Guys?

Me: GUYS!

All: *Keep on doing romance-y stuff*

Me: Guys! You have to react!

Wylie: *Stops kissing Linh* *Looks at me* *Smiles* *Resumes kissing Linh*

Me: *Grumbles* _Teenagers._

*They all ignore me*

Me: That's it! I'm leaving! *Teleports away because I can do that now*

Me: Now what do I do?

Me: I should interview someone about ships.

Me: I should also punish them for not listening to me.

Me: Hmm... how about the triplets!

Me: YES I AM A GENIUS!

Me: Wait I'm talking to myself.

Me: *Teleports to Rimeshire*

Me: *Rings doorbell*

Juline: Hello! Hey, I remember you! What ship is it this time?

Me: Dex was too busy kissing Marella to listen to me so now I want to interview the triplets.

Juline: Sure! Warning: You might get hit by a snowball.

Me: Good! It's really hot where I live! That's why I'm staying indoors and typing this piece of trash.

Juline: What?

Me: Never mind. *Yells* BEX! LEX! REX! TIME TO ANNOY YOUR BROTHER!

Bex, Lex, and Rex: *Run to me so fast it's scary*

Bex: Annoying Dex?

Lex: We love annoying Dex!

Rex: How can we annoy Dex!

Me: Well, you see, your brother has reached that point in life where he falls in looooooooooooooooooooooove!

Lex: Ew!

Bex: Disgusting!

Rex: Revolting!

Me: I know, right? But there are a lot of people with very strong opinions on who Dex should loooooooooooooooooove! So I'm going to give you some options and you're going to tell me what you think. Sound good?

Bex: And this annoys him?

Me: Very much. Especially since he has a girlfriend now.

Rex: Ooooooooooooooooh!

Lex: Who?

Me: I'll tell you at the end. Anyway, you know all of Dex's friends, right?

Lex: Yeah.

Me: Okay. What would you think if he dated Sophie Foster?

Rex: Um, well, they're kind of cousins... so that's a little... weird...

Lex: Yeah. If they weren't adoptive cousins I would ship them.

Bex: Didn't she friendzone him?

Me: How do you know that?

Bex: I read his diary. Duh.

Me: Honestly that makes sense. Okay, how about Biana?

Lex: No, she's mine!

Rex: No, she's _mine!_

Lex: Mine.

Rex: Mine.

Lex: MINE!

Rex: MINE!

Me: GUYS! Biana is not a piece of property. She is a real human- uh, _elvin_ being, and she can choose who she wants to loooooooove. And she did not choose either of you. She chose Sir Salty Shadows. **(YES THAT'S HIS NAME NOW DEAL WITH IT)**

Bex: Who?

Me: Tam.

Bex: Did you give everyone a weird nickname?

Me: Yep! Your brother is the poor underappreciated technopathic cinnamon roll. Keefe is Lord Hunkyhair, Fitz is Ritzroy Savory Cracker. Actually, I don't really have any for the girls. But nicknames are fun! Just as long as they're not, like, from the actual _name._ Ew.

Lex: *Stage whispering* SHE HAS PROBLEMS.

Me: YES I DO. Okay, so next is Linh!

Lex: She's the hydrokinetic, right?

Me: Yep.

Bex: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no DINH CAN DIE IN A HOLE!

Rex: NO I LIKE DINH! I SHIP IT! CINNAMON ROLLS UNITE!

Lex: I guess Dinh isn't that bad.

Me: Remember the Dinh chapter from, like, ancient times? I turned my best friend into a potato. Ah, the good old days.

Bex: Okay what the MALLOWMELT

Me: You uncultured swines have no respect for classic literature AKA this fanfic. Anyway, how about Marella?

Lex: I SHIP!

Bex: It's not OTP, but I ship it.

Me: How do you know these terms?

Bex: I'M A HAMILTON FANGIRL AND I SHIP LAMS!

Me: We are friends now. What about you, Rex?

Rex: I like it!

Me: Excellent, excellent. Now... SHIP IT LIKE FEDEX! Yes or no?

Lex: What?

Me: You uncultured swines! You don't even know the proper ship names for the fandom you live in! FedEx means Fitz and Dex.

Lex: No not wonderboy.

Rex: Anything but wonderboy.

Bex: I SHIP IT LIKE FEDEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

Me: We are now very close friends. Anyway I promised I'd tell you who Dex is dating so... *dramatic pause* It's the cover.

Me: Just kidding, it's Marella.

Me: Oh darn I'm talking to myself again.

Me: I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Me: Please review.

 **What is this even?**


	55. Chapter 54

**Oh my mallowmelt, guys, I've been on here for an entire year. Wow.**

 **ASokeefeFanatic: Me too lol.**

 **MidnightBunny: Because you didn't request a character!**

 **LoganRecord: I believe Bex/Amy is a ship? I only know one person who ships it, but it's still a ship...**

 **Keephie-13: YAS!**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thank you XD.**

 **L: YEP. Yes it was, and yes they are! Thanks!**

 **Country-Fangirl: Hmm... darn.**

 **BookLover3212019: Will do that soon! I think she's just Sophie of the Woods Beyond...? Okay that's a lot of ships for a book series I haven't even read half of.**

 **Pumpkinstripe234 (ch 6): Me too!**

 **Pumpkinstripe234 (ch 1): AW THANKS SOKEEFE FOREVER BYE!**

 **inkyarachne (ch 13): YOU SHOULD, JUST GIVE ME CREDIT!**

 **inkyarachne (ch 3): Well... you're welcome?**

 **inkyarachne (ch 2): Lol yes.**

 **HAS ANYONE ELSE READ _The Fault In Our Stars_ BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN'T YOU SHOULD IT'S ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE (WARNING: READ WITH TISSUES!)**

 **Funny meme that I found and added to:**

 **"Divergent** _ **taught me to make my own way in life.**_

 **Harry Potter _taught me to keep fighting for what I believe in._**

 **Hunger Games _taught me to stand up for what's right._**

 **Percy Jackson _taught me that we are all heroes._**

 **The Fault In Our Stars _taught me the importance of living your life while you have it._**

 **Keeper of the Lost Cities _taught me that different doesn't mean bad._**

 ** _Thank you, school, for teaching me the gradient of a line._ "**

 **Also, I'll be leaving for sleepaway camp pretty soon and I'll be away for three weeks, but I'll _try_ to update this and/or Legacy at least one more time before I leave.**

Me: Hello guys! Glad to see you're actually doing the react... unlike last time.

Linh: Sorry A. Fan!

Wylie: No not really.

Me: Shut up Wylie. Anyway, Dex, you should know that I did the react with the triplets. They now know you're dating Marella. And your sister is awesome. Lams AND FedEx!

Dex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fitz: Ew not FedEck

Me: Dex. DeX! DEX WITH AN X! NOT DECK!

Fitz: Desk?

Me: wHy Is ThIs So HaRd FoR yOu!? Dexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

Fitz: Desks?

Me: Just go away. Ready to find out what the ship is?

Tam: Not really.

Keefe: Definitely not.

Wylie: If your excited, I'm scared.

Me: But it's a great ship!

Sophie: OH NO GUYS IT'S A TERRIBLE SHIP!

Me: Sophie. I think Sokeefe is a great ship. And you better not be saying that Sokeefe is a terrible ship.

Sophie: Okay, Sokeefe is a great ship. But you don't always make the... smartest... shipping choices.

Me: Yes I do!

Biana: Kam.

Me: KaM iS gLoRiOuS! Not as glorious as Sokeefe, but still!

Sophie: FedEx.

Me: I mean with the way I write Fitz in this story of course not. But in canon I would be happy with it.

Biana: Terik/Alvar.

Me: Actually, that's not me. That's LunaLovegood397.

Sophie: Fine then, Ruyvar.

Me: You got me there.

Sophie: Excellent. Now why don't you tell us what this "great" but actually terrible ship is?

Me: First of all, withhold judgement of the ship until you know what it is. Second:

...

...

...

...

...

...

Tam: WILL YOU QUIT IT WITH THE DOT-DOT-DOTS?

Keefe: They're actually called ellipsis.

Tam: How do you know this?

Keefe: BECAUSE I AM A GENIUS!

Sophie: Because one time Keefe called it "dot-dot-dot" and I told him what they were really called.

Tam: Yeah that makes sense.

Me: The ship is...

...

...

...

Tam: *Threateningly holds saltshaker*

Me: Okay okay fine! The ship is Solinhiana.

Biana: What's Solinhiana?

Linh: It sounds like me, Sophie, and Biana as a ship.

Me: *Screams* SOPHIE, BIANA AND ME!

Glitterbutt23: Dang it A. Fan, I was about to applaud but then you said "And ME"! How dare you?

Me: Because it's proper grammar? Also where did you come from? You're supposed to be in Poland.

Glitterbutt23: Sorry but I'm not really sorry but I just HAD to annoy you!

Me: I was enjoying the peace and quiet with you gone!

Glitterbutt23: A. Fan you are a junior counselor for six year olds. I DOUBT you have any peace and quiet.

Me: True. But still, go away. *Snaps fingers*

Glitterbutt23: *Disappears*

 **(In case anyone is wondering, my friends and I *Applause* have an inside joke where whenever someone says _ and I rather than me and _, we applaud. It originates from when Glitterbutt23 got it wrong so many times that we applauded when she got it right.)**

Me: Sorry about that. Where was I?

Wylie: You were about to leave us alone and never come back.

Me: No that doesn't sound quite right.

Linh: You introduced the ship and we were trying to figure out who it was shipping. I guessed Biana, Sophie, and me.

Me: Thank you Linh. You are very nice. And also correct about the ship.

Dex: Wait, three people? How does that work?

Me: It's a polyamorous **(shut up spellcheck, polyamorous IS a real word. Deal. With. It.)** relationship. Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved.

Tam: Did you just copy and paste the dictionary definition?

Me: ... No comment.

Tam: You do realize that's basically a "yes."

Me: I said _NO COMMENT!_

Tam: Yeah but you meant yes.

Me: Shut up Tam.

Tam: Never.

Me: So what do you guys think of Solinhiana?

Wylie, Tam, and Keefe: NO! NO! NO!

Me: Hmm... if Solinhiana happened maybe I should ship the three of you. Let's see... Wytameefe? Teeflie? Wykam? Yes... I like Wykam. The name. Not the ship.

Wylie: Okay but I would never date them. Like, no offense to Tam, (Totally not only because I don't want to be killed with a saltshaker or deemed unworthy for his sister.) but no.

Tam: None taken. I wouldn't want to date either of you either.

Me: B-But Kam!

Keefe: BUT SOKEEFE.

Tam: BUT TIANA!

Me: Okay point taken.

Keefe: No Solinhiana. No Wykam. NO.

Me: Okay what do the people who are actually being shipped think?

Linh: Well I think the same thing as with Linhiana and Solinh: I'm not completely against it, but I prefer my relationship with Wylie.

Sophie: Um yeah same here.

Biana: Hmm... a relationship with two people WOULD give me twice as many presents and compliments...

Tam: *panics* I can give you presents! And compliments! Here are some sparkles! And you look amazing today!

Biana: Tam shut up I was going to say something.

Tam: Sorry Biana. Here's some more sparkles to make it up for you.

Biana: Aww thanks Tam! As I was saying, a relationship with two people WOULD give me twice as many presents and compliments, but I still think my relationship with Tam is amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the presents and compliments that Solinhiana would provide.

Me: Aww will you look at that? I'm finally writing fluff for a ship OTHER than Sokeefe, or Lylie just to annoy Wylie.

Dex: Wow what a miracle. Meanwhile my ship is and underrated ship shipping two underrated characters. I don't think there's any stories about us here! Meanwhile, sokeefe has like a thousand.

Me: Um btw there are only about 700 KOTLC stories on here, and idk how many are about Sokeefe.

Glitterbutt23: That's the most acronyms you've ever used in a sentence.

Me: Probably. Now what the heck are you doing it's 3 AM your time and I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!

Glitterbutt23: i'M nOt A vErY gOoD LiStEnEr!

Me: *Snaps fingers*

Glitterbutt23: *Disappears*

Me: So um yeah idk how many sokeefe stories there are.

Dex: Well I know exactly how many stories there are devoted entirely to Dexella: ZERO!

Me: Hmm that's a problem. Maybe when Glitterbutt23 comes back (for real, rather than just my version of her) we can discuss writing a Dexella story on our collaborative account (Glitter-Fangirls-23)

Wylie: Your self promotions are really pathetic.

Me: OH BTW READERS MY LEGACY STORY IS ALMOST AT A HUNDRED REVIEWS, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO GO REVIEW? THANKS!

Wylie: Weirdo.

Me: Thanks! Okay well we're at over a thousand words WITHOUT the author's notes and I've barely written about Solinhiana but whatever. Chapter's over.

 **Well, hope you enjoyed! Only slightly more normal than last chapter. Please review! (And please review Legacy lol).**


	56. Chapter 55 (I HAVE RETURNED!)

**Hello my dear readers! I'm sorry about the wait. But hopefully this chapter will make up for it! (I say this every time... and it never does. Whoops.)**

 **Anyway, enjoy!**

 **unexpectedlove (ch 55): Of course!**

 **unexpectedlove (Ch 54): Yup!**

 **unexpectedlove (ch 48): XD.**

 **unexpectedlove (all other chapters): You know what I give up on responding to all of these. Thank you so much for all the reviews and I totally agree with everything you said.**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! Lol I should!**

 **Keephie-13: Yes of course. Thank you! Yes, poor Dex. YOU TOTALLY SHOULD OML I WOULD 100% READ IT!**

 **Keefex Fan 2: Sorry. It's alright.**

 **L: Yes, actually. Don't worry, I hadn't heard of it until pretty recently. Yes, I know! Thanks! CAN WE GET IT TO THIRD? (NO WE CAN'T!) *Realizes you were L***

 **MidnightBunny: NARROW IT DOWN. THREE OR LESS SPECIFIC SHIPS.**

 **BookLover3212019: I've asked GB23 to help me, she knows SFGAE better than I do. Hmm... they can discuss that. SEE YOU NEXT TIME!**

 **Country-Fangirl: WELL NOW YOU HAVE AND YOU LOVED IT! Looking for that at library, and YES I LOVE DEAR EVAN HANSEN! Thank you! Of course it is!**

Me: Hello!

Wylie: Oh, you're back.

Linh: Wylie, be nice! I hope you had a fun time at camp.

Me: Yeah, it was great! So... Fitz-free.

Fitz: HEY!

Me: Hey, you were glad to be away from me.

Fitz: Okay fair point.

Sophie: So what are we doing this chapter?

Me: Well I kinda am running out of ships-

Glitterbutt23: WHY DO YOU WRITE LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF SHIPS!

Me: Oh yeah, bad news guys! Glitterbutt23's back from Poland and annoying as ever! I randomly saw her at Target today! But anyway, I'm running out of ships, and Legacy is only 73 days away, so here is... LEGACY SHIP THEORIES! To ensure that no spoilers are spoiled, I am wiping their memory of everything that happened since Flashback. 3, 2, 1, *snaps fingers*

Sophie: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M UNMATCHABLE!

Fitz: YOU'RE WHAT?

Linh: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! TAM! NO!

Tam: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I WAS KIDNAPPED!

Keefe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! **(A line which basically describes Keefe at the end of Flashback.)**

Biana: NO! TAM!

Dex: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M LOSING SIGNIFICANCE!

Wylie: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! A. FAN IS HERE!

Glitterbutt23: Kotlc includes a lot of freaking out.

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 73 whole days until Legacy!

Me: Okay. I'm okay now. Kinda. But anyway... let's hear your ship theories!

Sophie: Ugh! Why is everything all about ships!

Me: bEcAuSe ThEy ArE tAkInG oVeR tHe SeRiEs! And also, this is a fanfiction devoted entirely to ships, Hamilton, and general weirdness. But it's supposed to be just ships. I have another fanfiction for my Legacy theories. You can go read it and assume it's canon, because until the real book comes out, MY VERSION IS CANON! Actually, you guys should read other theories (MOSTLY MINE!) and Shannon's instagram posts to help come up with your own. YOU HAVE ONE HOUR. GO! GO! GO!

 **ONE HOUR LATER:**

Sophie: Okay, I have basically the entire book planned out in my mind!

Me: Seriously? You did that in an HOUR? It's been MONTHS and I still don't know some of the details!

Sophie: Well I know the characters better than you do.

Me: Fair point.

Dex: I think I have a few theories.

Biana: Yeah, me too.

Tam and Linh: *Are discussing theories together and basically ignoring us*

Wylie: Okay, I've figured out how to make my version of the first 15 chapters the complete opposite of yours.

Fitz: What does "Low battery" mean? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! THE SCREEN WENT BLACK! Well, anyway, I have a few theories. What about you, Keefe?

Sophie: Keefe?

Me: KEEFE!

Keefe: *Has created the fanfiction account Lord_Hunkyhair_Foster and has favorited all the best Foster-Keefe stories, including mine, and is writing one.* What?

Glitterbutt23: We're discussing ship theories! Sophie, you start.

Sophie: Okay. So, I agree with A. Fan about the beginning, that Fitz and I will have a fight, and make up but not be a couple anymore. And I totally agree that I shouldn't think about boys until the Neverseen is gone.

Me: Yeah- WAIT, I HAVEN'T PUBLISHED THE CHAPTER WHERE YOU AND FITZ MAKE UP YET! SOPHIE! **(Sorry for the spoiler, guys! But I'm gonna publish it soon!)**

Sophie: Sorry. Anyway, as for other ships, because I am not the only person who can be shipped, I think Biana TOTALLY likes Tam-

Biana: What? No!

Tam: *Is excited, then disappointed.* Oh. Um. Okay. Whatever.

Biana: Wait, HE LIKES ME BACK! OMG TAM I ACTUALLY DO LIKE YOU!

Dex: ANYWAY, Sophie, what's next?

Sophie: But Tam is still with the Neverseen, so nothing's gonna happen with the ship in Legacy. I still don't have an opinion on Dex- Dexella is adorable, but I've read some pretty good arguments for FedEx, so I'm torn between the two.

Me: ATTENTION, READERS! Sophie's opinion on Dex ships is totally not based off of personal experience.

Sophie: Um, sure. And Linh and Wylie will totally become canon eventually, but idk about in Legacy because the age gap is (Sadly) still pretty significant. Even though I don't agree with A. Fan's theory that Linh will be kidnapped-

Wylie: WHAT! YOU MADE LINH BE KIDNAPPED IN YOUR STORY!? HOW DARE YOU!?

Me: Chill, she's alive. *Whispers* For now.

Wylie: WHAT?

Me: Um, nothing!

Sophie: Anyway, that's it! Actually, wait, no, based off of Shannon Messenger's latest instagram post, I believe Keefe and I will become even closer and I'll start developing/realizing feelings for him, but still have some for Fitz, and ignore them both. Okay, now I'm done.

Keefe: Wow that's detailed. Anyway, I say Sophitz will end, but Foster-Keefe will not yet begin. Also, Dexella. I basically just agree with Legacy: What is a Legacy?

Dex: I say Sophitz will barfingly continue, and the other ships will sadly be neglected as our queen Shannon basically only cares about the Sophie love triangle.

Glitterbutt23: Sadly that might be true

Wylie: Sophitz breakup, Foster-Keefe will get together and LYLIE FOR THE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNHHHHHHH!

Glitterbutt23: I would be okay with that.

Me: NO! Foster-Keefe can't get together with an ENTIRE BOOK LEFT! She'd probably go back to "her true love Fitz" or something! It's an actual Sophitz theory!

Glitterbutt23: Oh yeah fair point.

Fitz: I think that Sophie will become matchable and Sophitz will continue.

Me: And what if she doesn't become matchable?

Fitz: Don't worry. She will.

Glitterbutt23: But what if she doesn't?

Fitz: She will though.

Me: BUT SHE WON'T!

Fitz: That's ridiculous!

Glitterbutt23: It's true.

Fitz: No it isn't! Sophie and I could never be a bad match!

Me: Sure. I'll let you labor under your delusion. Any opinions on other ships?

Fitz: Keefiana!

Biana: DUDE, I'M OVER HIM!

Keefe: SHE'S LIKE A SISTER TO ME!

Glitterbutt23: And what do you think about the picture?

Fitz: What picture?

Me: *Shows him picture*

Fitz: Oh they're just talking as friends and I'm being a jealous idiot as always.

Glitterbutt23: Sounds about right. Linh?

Linh: Tam and I have come to the conclusion that Sophitz will continue throughout the book, the picture scene is towards the end, and the cliffhanger will be some big breakup, most likely over Keefe. Either Sophie will leave Fitz for Keefe, or Fitz will get jealous and overprotective and Sophie will be mad that he doesn't trust them.

Tam: I say option A, Linh says option B. I think I'll be with the Neverseen for most, if not all, of the book, but my exclusive POV will reveal that I am madly in love with Biana. Dexella will become a thing, and my sister will NOT BE DATING ANYONE.

Biana: Wait did you just say you loved me?

Tam: I said I was MADLY in love with you. Get it right.

Biana: *Blushes* Um, I had a theory, but I forgot it, so I'll just go with the twins', because it makes sense.

Me: Okay! I LOVE the theories, guys! I think Tam/Linh/Biana's theory is actually pretty possible. I like it. But I'm sure our queen Shannon will come up with some way to surprise us all.

 **Well I hope you enjoyed! Please share some of your theories in the reviews!**

 **In other words, please review!**


	57. Chapter 56: BONUS CHAPTER!

**What's this? A Very Obsessed Fangirl is updating... EARLY!? Only four days? Nonsense! It's almost NEVER less than a week! What is happening to this world?**

 **Yes, it's astonishing, but the great A Very Obsessed Fangirl IS UPDATING!**

 **S** **mellynelie9: Yay!**

 **Keephie-13: Yeah, that's pretty close to my theory. The only difference is that I just made Dexella official because wHy ThE hEcK nOt?**

 **Hii: No, because I personally have zero opinion, but I'm going to use it as a last resort (AND WE'RE CLOSE TO MY LAST RESORTS.)**

 **Yeah, I did too. It kinda seems more likely than my own lol. OF COURSE I'M RIGHT, I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! And YES YOU DO! Me too XD. Thank you! I couldn't come up with one for her... actually... so really she doesn't have one.**

 **Thanks! I really just wanted to freak Wylie out... they all have an equal chance of dying... sorry. Yeah... I know... *SIGH.***

 **Um, so, this chapter... I had the idea, and I liked it, so then I wrote it, but it's pretty short and not really a chapter... so I guess it's a bonus chapter! I hope you enjoy the bonus chapter. Here are some of the best (And only!) excerpts from _THE LAWS OF SHIPPING._**

 _Page one:_

 **"What is a ship?**

A ship, in fandoms, is a couple.

Also, if you don't know what a ship is, why are you reading the laws of shipping?"

* * *

 _Page 67:_

 **"LOVE TRIANGLES:**

1) A love triangle must never be resolved before the final book. Otherwise there's no way it's going to last.

2) Team Foster-Keefe will always be cooler.

3) DON'T LET SHIP WARS TAKE OVER THE FANDOM!

4) Whichever ship A very obsessed fangirl ships, is the right ship.

5) If A. Fan is not in the Fandom (Unlikely, but whatever) then the correct opinion on shipping goes (in this order) to Glitterbutt23, Magic Daydreamer, and a non-fanfiction user who we shall call... Mrs. Pencil.

6) If possible, BE NEUTRAL! (Or a multishipper.)

7) Don't form a concrete opinion until a few books into the series.

8) Killing off a character is NOT A WAY TO SOLVE THE TRIANGLE!

9) If your ship loses, write a ton of fanfiction for it. Never, EVER abandon your ship just because it sank. Never join a new ship JUST because it's canon.

10) It is absolutely hysterical if the two characters who are both in love with another person end up together. (Not Feefe though.)

11) Team Foster-Keefe will always be cooler.

12) Ship debates are fun if they don't get too intense.

13) Think long and hard about your ship. Don't just say "This one's cute i ship it" without any thought.

14) If you ship a ship outside the triangle, PREPARE FOR DISAPPOINTMENT. But still ship.

15) Squares are a bit overboard.

16) Team Foster-Keefe will always be cooler.

17) Make the character consider both options and give both a chance: Otherwise it's really not fair to one side, and they will be MAD.

18) While fun, ships are not the whole point of the series. If you're writing a love triangle, make sure it's not the main thing. **(COUGH, SHANNON, COUGH.)**

19) Be nice to the character who isn't chosen. But make it seem possible. (Ex: Don't make the character not chosen instantly move on from the center of the love triangle, but don't make them live the rest of their life in misery.)

20) Team Foster-Keefe will always be cooler!"

* * *

 _Page 532:_

 **"Multishipping :**

Multishipping is totally possible, and fun! Multishipping is not the same as being neutral. Neutral is when you just don't care, but multishipping means you love two+ ships that contradict each other. Multishipping does not mean you are less of a shipper for each ship, but you're just expanding your options! Multishippers do not have to choose one ship, because multishipping is awesome!"

* * *

 _Page 781:_

 **"OTPs:**

Many fangirls (or fanpeople, or fanpotatos) will call a ship their "OTP", which stands for One True Pairing, their one _favorite_ ship. Some fanpeople will then try to choose _one_ true pairing. However, contradictory to the name, most fanpeople will have many, MANY favorite ships, because they are indecisive like that. Here are some alternative names:

OTP: One Thousand Pairings.

OTP: One-Hundred/Thousand/Million+ True Pairings.

MTP: Many/Multiple True Pairings

ATP: A True Pairing"

* * *

 _Page 1,245:_

 **"Rarepairs:**

A rarepair is a ship that is not very commonly shipped within the fandom. However, rarepairs are totally fine to ship! The very concept of reading and shipping and writing fanfiction is quite rare, so why not be ever rarer? If ship-bashers bash your rarepair, that's their problem."

* * *

 _Back of book:_

 **"About the "author":**

Yeah, actually, there is no author! This book was magically brought into being by sheer fangirl willpower. However, the brilliant and most amazing fanperson A Very Obsessed Fangirl has decided to share the glorious book with all of you, because she is just generous and perfect like that. The great book also commands you to review for your hero A Very Obsessed Fangirl."


	58. Chapter 57

**Hello! I'm back! It took me a while to come up with an idea, but I finally have on, and a list of a few others.**

 **Country-Fangirl: Why thank you! Of course they are XD! Thanks!**

 **MidnightBunny: Okay, thanks! Reyna x Fitz (because ship name is RITZ!), Percy x Sophie (because she is a lot like Annabeth) and Leo x Keefe. Sound good?**

 **YES YES I'M VERY HAPPY.**

 **Kotlcfangirl: Thank you! And I wasn't going to ask, nobody here is okay. I'm also quite obsessed with KOTLC.**

 **#Iagreewithallyourhashtags**

 **Kotlcfangirl: Don't worry, I will never complain about reviews (as long as they aren't, like, flames). RIP Kenric! My friend was reading during lunch when he died and she started screaming at me. :( :( :(**

 **Kotlcfangirl: Thank you! I'll try.**

 **L: Of course you can't! I totally envy the multishippers. And everything I say/ the book says is true. Page 781: THAT'S BECAUSE I CAME UP WITH IT! The alternate acronyms, that is. And yeah, while a majority of fanpotatos are girls, there are some other non-female fanpotatos. And fanpotatos is totally the correct term XD. The amazing potato MagicDaydreamer came up with that.**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: Oh no! How could you?! Yay! All we've (I've) written are two extremely weird KOTLC reads KOTLC chapters, but yeah, check it out! Yeah, I'm impressed with myself for coming up with something that good XD. Six more weeks... but yeah I'm kinda nervous too. Ugh, I hate that theory. Pretty likely though :(. It's okay, I rant a lot too. Thank you! :D**

 **Keephie-13: Thank you. I've started writing some more, but not enough for a chapter. Indeed it will.**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! Indeed. I AM ALWAYS RIGHT! Yeah, I have a lot of fandoms, and I also have like 15 OTPs for KOTLC alone! Indecision rules!**

 **Okay, peeps, special announcement: You know Legacy, What is a Legacy? Well, I said I'd only update once I got 5 reviews. Sadly, I'm stuck at four. Please go review so I can be happy, and L, LunaLovegood397, Eva L, and Person can get their update... bEcAuSe ApPaReNtLy ThIeR tHe OnLy OnEs WhO cArE aBoUt LeGaCy AnYmOre...**

 **This chapter is... SOLOPHIE!**

Keefe: What the mallowmelt is Solophie?

Me: Solo. Sophie. Solosophie. Solophie. As in, single Sophie.

Sophie: Hmm...

Dex: Let's be realistic. Shannon would never allow that to happen.

Me: Let's be realistic. You guys don't exist, Dex will never be on a cover, the gay ships have next to no chance of happening. See? Fanpotatos' LIVES revolve around being unrealistic.

Linh: Okay that's actually a pretty good point. Anyway, as with all other ships, it should be Sophie and... um... singleness's choice. But I agree with Dex-

Dex: WHAT? Agreeing? With ME!? You know I exist? WEIRD!

Me: Don't worry Dex, this is a safe place for cinnamon rolls. You're appreciated here.

Dex: Cinnamon rolls?

Me: Fine. Poor underappreciated technopathic cinnamon rolls. BETTER?

Dex: Much better. Also, YEH LIED TO MEH! **(You lied to me, in Glitterbutt/Fangirl language.)**

Me: Excuse me? I never lie. Except for when I open my mouth and words come out.

Dex: Doesn't that mean everything you say is a lie?

Me: Yeah pretty much. But which lie were you referring to?

Dex: When you said I was appreciated here.

Me: But you are appreciated-

Dex: Lies. All lies. I've read KOTLC reads KOTLC.

Me: Wait, KOTLC read KOTLC reads KOTLC?

Dex: Yeah, whatever. AND I SAW HOW UNAPPRECIATED YOU MADE ME! YOU MONSTER!

Me: Oh, um, oops! I mean, that was Glitterbutt23! Not _me!_

Dex: You literally said in the fanfic that you were the one writing. **(At least, I think I did.)**

Me: OH ALICORN POO! Well, Dex, I've just given you a ton of dialogue, so...

Dex: Fine. I forgive you. As long as you don't do it again.

Me, thinking: Hmm... that's a _lot_ of Dex dialogue in later chapters here...

Dex: WAIT YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN!

Me: Hey, you aren't a telepath!

Dex: Sophie is, and she can transmit to me.

Me: SOPHIE! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!

Sophie: Oh yeah, um, right, friends, totally... sorry about that. Dex, please forgive her. She's just being brutally honest.

Me: Plus, I gave you like hundreds of words of us having a conversation while everyone else was irrelevant!

Dex: Even- even WONDERBOY!?

Me: Yep. He was _very_ irrelevant during our lovely talk.

Dex: Yay! I forgive you!

Me: Yay! Dex forgives me! Also, spellcheck, how is _yay_ not a word? Like seriously!

Dex: Um... okay...

Fitz: Can we be relevant now?

Me: NO! NOW YOU KNOW HOW DEX FEELS!

Tam: But it's the Solophie chapter! We can do Dex x relevance some other time.

Me: Ooh, good idea, thanks! Anyway, yeah, I guess we should react to Solophie. That's what I'm getting paid to do here.

Keefe: You get paid to do this?

Me: I wish. But at least I get paid in reviews! Which I don't get much of anymore.

Dex: Wait, are you becoming... IRRELEVANT!?

Me: No, I was always irrelevant. Then I became less irrelevant, and now I'm irrelevant again.

Dex: Oh.

Me: But anyway, ONTO THE REACT!

Linh: I think Solophie could prevent multiple injuries/deaths among boys, but whatever makes Sophie happy.

Biana: I'm happy either way, Solophie because FEMINISM and Sophie x *insert name of elf (KEEFE) here* because I like fangirling.

Sophie: Hmm... Solophie... obviously not my first choice, but I suppose it wouldn't be too bad.

Dex: YEAH! SOPHIE DOESN'T NEED A MAN TO MAKE HER HAPPY!

Me: *Glances between Sophie and Biana, giggling in fangirl*

Biana: Oh my mallowmelt she's doing it again.

Me: sOpHiAnA iS cUtE, oKaY!?

Sophie: Okay...

Me: Wait omg omg Sophie says Sophiana is cute omg *Dies in fangirl*

Tam: Well, she's dead. What a tragedy.

Linh: Let's finish the react, at least.

Tam: FINE. I 100% support Solophie. But I suppose Keephie's cute too.

Keefe: Obviously, I'd prefer Sophie date me than be single, but it's her choice and I really just want her to be happy.

Fitz: I honestly don't care anymore, Sophie's never going to choose me so I'll just stay out of her love life.

Sophie: Wow, really? That's really nice of you.

Fitz: OH MY MALLOWMELT SHE SAID I WAS NICE! IT'S WORKING! HAHAHAHAHA- Oh shoot, did I say that out loud?

Sophie: Yes.

Fitz: Darn. I'll... just... see myself out... bye!

Sophie: Well, A. Fan's dead, we have over a thousand words, and we've all reacted. I guess the chapter's over. THE END!

 **Hi, A. Fan's still dead, so I (Sophie) am doing the A/N for her. Um... what does she usually do... School sucks, I'll try to update soon and then fail, geometry is a torture method, do you guys want a Dex x Relevance chapter? I'm seriously running out of ideas, HELP! Anyway, remember to review Legacy, What is a Legacy, and PLEASE REVIEW!**

 **-Sophie impersonating A. Fan.**

 **PS: How'd I do?**

 **Me: Pretty well, actually.**

 **Sophie: Oh, you're back!**

 **Me: Yep!**

 **Sophie: Yay!**

 **Me: Hang on... that doesn't quite sound sincere...**

 **ANYWAY, PLEASE REVIEW!**


	59. Chapter 58

**Yay I finally wrote the chapter. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PROCRASTINATION!**

 **Anyway, go check Shannon's instagram (It's okay if you don't have instagram, neither do I!). She has some character portraits (Marella is super pretty btw) and some Legacy quotes (I am genuinely afraid for silveny's safety.**

 **Anyway, you did not come here for my ramblings! Well, actually you did, but rambling in the form of hilarious KOTLC characters.**

 **L: Thank you! Sadly, yes. RIP Solophie. And yay Dex x Relevance! Thanks!**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks!**

 **MidnightBunny: I mean I don't really like it as a pairing but as a react it might be fun. SCREW LOGIC! But I'm proud of you too :).**

 **BookLover3212019: Thank you! HAHAHHAHA I FAILED AT UPDATING JUST LIKE I FAIL AT EVERYTHING ELSE, LOL. I can try crossovers, I haven't read SFGAE but Divergent is excellent! Thanks for the suggestion!**

 **Country-Fangirl: *Shrieks in fangirl***

 **Enjoy the chapter... DEX X RELEVANCE!**

Dex: Relevance? Seriously?

Me: LoOk I'm RuNnInG oUt Of IdEaS oKaY dOn'T jUdGe!1!1!

Dex: Backing away from the crazy...

Me: We can do Dex x crazy next chapter.

Dex: Ew, no. I'd rather not be shipped with you.

Me: Honestly same. What about Glitterbutt23?

Dex: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Glitterbutt23: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Ha my "Ew" was longer than yours.

Me: Guys it's not a competit-

Dex: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Glitterbutt23: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Dex: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Glitterbutt23: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Dex: EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Me: Guys, please-

Tam: EW.

Me: YEAH OKAY TAM WINS CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP NOW?

Glitterbutt23: THE GREEK GOURDS!

Me: Yeah bye. *Snaps fingers*

Dex: YEAH I WIN!

Glitterbutt23 from like 34597923 miles away: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Quick question, why are we yelling "Ew" again?

Me: Because Dex was disgusted that I suggested shipping him with you, you like screaming, and both of you are oddly competitive.

Glitterbutt23: Yeah okay that makes sense. Anyway, what's the ship?

Me: Dex x- wait aren't you supposed to be 34597923 miles away?

Glitterbutt23: Oh yeah. You need to be more consistent with your writing.

Me: cOnSiStEnCy? WhAT's ThAt?

Dex: Yeah anyway back to the ship. Me x relevance... who's relevance? Never met them.

Me: That's right, I forgot, you've never known relevance.

Relevance, who I have characterized for reasons unknown: Hi, I'm relevance. Who are you?

Dex: I'm Dex.

Relevance: I don't believe I've ever met you.

Dex: Yeah, I don't really know you either.

Relevance: I mean I have been avoiding you since book four. I don't really like you.

Me: Hmm, I don't really like the enemies-to-lovers romance, but I DO like forbidden romance, if it's written well, so to ship or not to ship? That is the question.

Relevance: Weirdo.

Me: HeY! i Am ReLeVaNt! My story has fourth most reviews in KOTLC fanfiction on this site!

Relevance: Yeah yeah whatever.

Me: Forbidden love IS cute... I think I ship! And Dex TOTALLY has a crush on relevance!

Dex: You said I had a crush on Marella-

Me: And you do. You're DATING her.

Dex: You said I had a crush on Fitz.

Me: SHIP IT LIKE FEDEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXX!

Dex: You said I had a crush on the cover.

Me: #Dexonthecover2020!

Dex: And probably some others that I forget.

Me: True. I think I may have said something about Keefex at one point. It's cute, but I don't ship it. Also probably some other inanimate objects. And I did mention your crush on Sophie, but everyone knows you used to have one.

Dex: My POINT is, why on earth should I trust anything you say about my love life?

Me: BECAUSE THAT'S MY JOB!

Dex: You're getting paid?

Me: Hmm, now that you mention it... I should try to get a raise.

Dex: You actually get paid?

Me: No, I want my raise to be more than zero dollars per chapter. I think that's below minimum wage.

Dex: WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE PAY TO READ THIS TRASH?

Me: *Looks hopefully towards my crowd of fans* Those guys?

Crowd: *Boos*

Me: I seem to have misunderstood. I'm hearing boos, but I know you guys are cheering. Right?

Crowd: *Starts throwing rotten fruit at me*

Me: No, no, you're supposed to be throwing flowers!

Crowd: *Leaves*

Me: TRAITORS! I'M GOING TO UPDATE INFREQUENTLY AS PUNISHMENT!

Crowd: YOU ALREADY DO THAT!

Me: I'm guessing this means no more reviews?

Crowd: *Bombards me with flames*

Me: HEY! NO FLAMES ALLOWED! *Deletes all the reviews*

Crowd: *Attacks me with swarm of evil Iggies from chapter like thirty or something, I don't really remember*

Me: OH &%#&$# %!

Crowd: Is that supposed to be a curse word or just random symbols?

Me: Random symbols. Duh.

Crowd: Okay weirdo. *Leaves again*

Relevance: HA! YOU ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT ON , AND EVEN LESS RELEVANT IRL!

Me: So wait, was this all your doing?

Relevance: No, the crowd genuinely hates you.

Me: ##############!

Dex: That wasn't even a creative fake curse word. By the way you completely forget about me for a while. I feel so... _irrelevant._

Me: Well then, I guess the ship SINKS!

 **I forgot how much fun I had writing these! Sorry for the late update. Hopefully you guys don't really hate me as much as the crowd in the story. Please review!**

Me: OH ALICORN POO I FORGOT ABOUT THE IGGIES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


	60. Chapter 59

**This is, the-not-really-long-awaited chapter, PERCY JACKSON CROSSOVER SHIPS! Dedicated to Midnight Bunny because they've been asking for like FOREVER.**

 **HedwigIggyLover1214: hOw DaRe YoU?! Nah it's fine. You reviewed like a week after I posted the chapter... so I'm updating like two weeks later... WHOOPS! Thank you! I will take like literally any suggestions, I'm desperate. YES IT DOES! YAYYYYYY! Ooh pretty flowers! The Iggies are under control! Dex had to help me.**

 **SofiaTheCherry: Yeah and I apologize for that but thanks! Sokeefe forever!**

 **Cary Swirls: Thank you! I'm trying, lol, but it's getting really hard. I totally didn't come up with those, but Chandelitz is like LIFE.**

 **L: He better... *threatens Shannon with the Iggies* ReLeVaNcE wHy YoU nO LiKe DeX? Let's hope for that forbidden love story! Thanks!**

 **BookLover3212019: I'll try! Thanks! I'm doing Percy Jackson now. I've read both of those, I'll ask about it later (I don't want to do a crossover with a series only 0.01% of my readers have read.) They're both really good series, I love them. Again, I'll try!**

 **LunaLovegood397: XD. Thank you. Nothing I say even remotely makes sense. GO IGGY! I'll try! Aw, thanks! I will never go to the dark side AKA the Fitzphie side. What would I need to do for you to throw mallowmelt at me?**

 **Soohie Foster: Good question. I'm not sure. Sometimes my own logic confuses me.**

 **Soohie Foster: I really don't think he is, he's like the best character, but you're entitled to your opinion and all *shrugs* You forgot Councillor Alina btw.**

 **Country-Fangirl: YAY! THANK YOU! I will never delete your reviews! Unless they were rude. But your reviews are nice. :)**

 **GUYS WE ONLY HAVE LIKE TWO WEEKS UNTIL LEGACY AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ADGKGHDFMALLOWMELTHIEHTOIERHGDFIGHSDMXARGWARETOWUTEWOHTSDG! (If you look closely at the insane fangirl typing you can see my crush's name.)  
**

 **Anyway, enjoy the chapter!** **Again, it's a Percy Jackson crossover ship, so if you haven't read it you might not get the chapter. If you want to read this chapter anyway, the PJO character I'm using (Leo) is basically like a technopath pyrokinetic Keefe.**

Me: Hey guys I have someone for you to meet!

Sophie: Hey you forgot about us last chapter! I'm starting to feel like Dex here! No offense Dex.

Me: I forgot about you because it was a chapter ALL ABOUT DEX! And relevance! I was trying to make Dex relevant!

Fitz: That's kind of pointless. Reledeck sunk a looooooooooong time ago.

Me: DEX! ReleDEX! But anyway... I have someone for you to meet!

Tam: You said that already.

Me: Right, but no one was listening.

Linh: Good point.

Tam: Sorry, what'd Fangirl say?

Me: SEE! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I- Ohh, I get it. Anyway, time to meet my friend-

Wylie: Like you could ever be friends with anyone as cool as he is.

Me: Wait how did you even know who I was talking about?

Wylie: I read your A/N. And I read Heroes of Olympus.

Me: Oh yeah...

Leo: HEY GUYS! IT'S ME, LEO SUPERSIZED MCSHIZZLE BAD BOY SUPREME!

Keefe: Woah, awesome nickname! Mine is Lord Hunkyhair.

Sophie: Keefe no one calls you that.

Me: I do. Sometimes.

Keefe: Fine. You can call me... KEEFE GULON MASTER LORD HUNKYHAIR SUPREME!

Sophie: Oh gods no...

Leo: YES! I LOVE IT! High five! But wait... what's a gulon?

Me: And more importantly... what's the GREAT GULON INCIDENT!?

Keefe: Long story. _Leo,_ I'll tell you later.

Me: HEY! I HAVE BEEN ASKING SINCE DECEMBER AND I STILL DON'T KNOW! I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME WHAT THE GREAT GULON INCIDENT IS!

Keefe: Nope.

Me: kEeFe! i ThOuGhT wE wErE fRiEnDs!

Keefe: We are! But Shannon made me promise not to tell you!

Me: She'll never find out...

Keefe: She's a telepath.

Me: Alicorn poo. What happens if she finds out?

Keefe: Then she'll kill me off in book nine.

Me: That does sound like her.

Leo: Who's Shannon?

Me: Leo, are you familiar with what's known as the fourth wall?

Leo: Yeah...

Me: WELL I'M BREAKING IT. You're a fictional character. Your author is an evil man named Rick Riordan. Their *gestures to KOTLC crew* creator is an even eviler- which actually is a word, I didn't think it was- person named SHANNON MESSANGER.

Biana: Oh gods... what would happen if Rick Riordan and Shannon Messanger wrote a book together?

Me: The literal book itself would be dangling off of a cliff.

Wylie: Yeah sounds about right.

Leo: Okay, so what am I doing here?

Me: Well, do you know what ships are? And if you say the Argo II...

Leo: No, I totally know what ships are. Like Percabeth. And Solangelo! Solangelo is life!

Me: SOLANGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I LOVE SOLANGELO! IT'S SO CUTE ASDFGHJKL!

Leo: What was that noise you just made?

Me: Asdfghjkl?

Leo: Yeah.

Me: Oh it's the fangirl noise.

Leo: How is that like even pronounceable?

Me: I don't think it is. It's usually typed. I pronounce it As-de-fug-ji-kle. So anyway, I write a trashy fanfiction about characters from this book series reacting to different ships. And we're on like chapter sixty-

Dex: Fifty nine.

Me: Well if we count that one announcement chapter it's sixty. Anyway, I've written a lot of chapters and I'm kind of running out of ideas. So the amazing Midnight Bunny-

Leo: What kind of name is that?

Me: I don't know, there are a lot of weird names on here. I'm A very obsessed fangirl. My best friend is Glitterbutt23.

Leo: I actually kind of like those names. Midnight Bunny too. Although it can never compare with LEO SUPERSIZED MCSHIZZLE BAD BOY SUPREME!

Me: Right. So Midnight Bunny said I should ship KOTLC characters with Percy Jackson characters.

Leo: Why is the series named after _Percy?_

Me: Look I don't know. Ask Rick Riordan. Later. So I decided I would ship you with Keefe since you're like basically the same person.

Leo: Woah, really? That'd be so awesome! I'm like the awesomest person ever, so dating myself would be like incredible.

Me: I know, right? What do the rest of you guys think?

Keefe: I agree with Leo. But I like Sophie even more than I like myself.

Me: *Pterodactyl screeching*

Keefe: Weirdo.

Sophie: I totally ship Foster-Keefe but I think Keefe would be happy with Leo.

Fitz: Well Keefe sucks so he should have to be with someone as awful as he is! So I ship it! Plus then Foster would be available...

Sophie: Wait did you just call me Foster?

Fitz: Well apparently you like that? But don't worry, I'll be able to call you Vacker pretty soon.

Sophie: That's so sweet of you to support Sophiana! We'll let you be flower girl at our wedding.

Fitz: Wait what no I didn't I meant _me_ wait what?

Sophie: I know. It's so amazing that you're OTP is happening that you're speechless.

Me: WAIT SOPHIANA IS HAPPENING! OMG FANGIRLS SOPHIANA IS HAPPENING! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, SOPHIANA IS HAPPENING! SOPHIAAAAANNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 **Yay for Sophiana! Boo for geometry homework! I think those last two sentences pretty much sum up my life right now.**

 **How many of you have read either the Lunar Chronicles or Divergent, and more importantly, would you like reading a crossover ship with those?**

 **Please review!**


	61. Chapter 60

**No, I'm not dead. I just disappeared for like a month. Because I'm lazy. And I've been battling my eternal enemy... Writer's Block.**

 **Wylie: *Appears out of nowhere* I'm writer's block.**

 **Shut up, Wylie. Anyway, I'M BACK!**

 **Guest: 1) Indeed. 2) Indeed. 3) MY FATHER HAS NO SONS SO I'M THE ONE, WHO HAS TO SOCIAL CLIMB FOR ONE!**

 **Guest: Indeed. The world's cruelest torture method (Coming from a person who steps on legos regularly and has thought about trying to break the world record for walking on legos.)**

 **Guest: Yep.**

 **Guest: Cool! I used to ship Linh x Fitz but not anymore.**

 **Guest: Cool, a Diana peep! Based off of Legacy I think you have some hope.**

 **Guest: 1) Thank you, I agree with me too (and Keefe, of course). 2) Yeah, Diana wouldn't be too bad. There's some stuff in Legacy suggesting Diana but- BUT TIANAAAAA! 3) VERY TRUE!**

 **Hii: Kinda, a bit. Yeah, I can see that. Jacin x Tam? I'll think about it.**

 **Hii: I love all of those. Have you read Divergent?**

 **L: LEGACY CAME OOOOOUUUUUUUUT! IT'S SO GOOOOOOD- I'll stop, sorry. Leo's great! He's like a cross between Dex and Keefe, plus he has fire powers. Hope you read the others soon! Highly recommended. Thanks!**

 **MidnightBunnyy: Oops sorry. I guess Midnight Bunny is just a very common name.**

 **Midnight Bunny: YAAYYYY CRAZY PERSON MODE XD! You are awesome! And YAYYYYY I FINALLY DID SOMETHING I SAID I WAS GOING TO! SEE, I'M RELIABLE! TAKE THAT, LONG LIST OF PEOPLE I HAVE BROKEN PROMISES TO!**

 **Country-Fangirl: YES! Maybe, that sounds good! I've never read Wires and Nerve, sorry.**

 **The-Vegginonymous-Potato: Hi! Yeah, that makes sense. I'll think about it... yAy FaNpOtAtOeS! ! ! !**

 **Okay, I am just warning you, this chapter will contain Legacy spoilers. Although most people have read Legacy by now, not everyone has, so I'm a very nice person who decided to include a spoiler warning.**

 **Enjoy!**

Sophie: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Linh: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Keefe: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Wylie: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Marella: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Fitz: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Dex: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Biana: LEGACY SPOILERS!

Me: LEGACY SPOILERS! Also, _now_ I realize I could've used copy and paste. I'm not very smart.

Glitterbutt23: Very true!

Me: HEY!

Glitterbutt23: What? It's true! You _aren't_ very smart.

Me: What and you are?

Glitterbutt23: Actually, contrary to how the idiot A very obsessed fangirl typically portrays me one here, I am quite smart.

Me: Okay fair point. But I'm smart too!

Glitterbutt23: Sure. *Triumphantly rides off on pugicorn, which is a pug and a unicorn if you don't know.*

Me: Anyway where were we? LEGACY SPOILERS!

Tam: Honestly if they haven't read Legacy and still read your trash up to this point they deserve to have it spoiled.

Me: Okay fair point.

Biana: So, what are we doing this chapter?

Sophie: Other than yelling "LEGACY SPOILERS!"

Me: Okay first of all, I didn't add that many exclamation points. Second, we're reacting to the ship developments in Legacy! Which is why I put all those spoiler warnings, which, in retrospect, were probably a bit much.

Tam: *Coughing* A _bit._

Me: So anyway...

 _THREE, TWO, ONE, **REACT!**_

Biana: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP SOPHITZ BROKE UP ASDFGHJKL ASDFGHJKL PTERODACTYL SCREECH!

Fitz: Um, I'm pretty sure "pterodactyl screech" is supposed to have an asterisk. Unless you're actually saying the words "pterodactyl screech".

Biana: DON'T TELL ME HOW TO FANGIRL, PEASANT! Now where was I? Ah yes. ASDFGHJKL! PTERODACTYL SCREECH! KEYBOARD SMASHING! KEYBOARD SMASHING!

Dex: Wait... we're not supposed to know that everything occurring is really A very obsessed fangirl typing at a computer.

Sophie: OH NO THE FOURTH WALL!

Me: Chill, I break the fourth wall like twice per chapter. Anyway... SOPHITZ BROKE UP!

Sophie: ASDFGHJKL!

Keefe: TEAM FOSTER KEEFE WILL ALWAYS BE COOLER! ! ! ! ! ! !

Me: Glad you think so. Does anyone else have an opinion on the most glorious breakup of Sophitz?

Fitz: *Raises hand.* OOH! OOH! PICK ME!

Me: Hmm... no one? That's okay. How about we move on to-

Fitz: HEY I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING! THE SOPHITZ BREAKUP WAS THE WORST PART!

Rest of universe: I beg to differ.

Fitz: And it is most definitely not my fault for being a matchmaking-obsessed [Word removed because I rated this K+], it's Sophie's fault for having "morals" and "kindness" and being a "good person" and other dumb things like that. It's also Forkle's fault for making her unmatchable and Oralie's fault for keeping everything a secret, but it most definitely isn't the matchmaker's fault for having a stupid system.

Me: Ooooooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy. Sophie definitely made the right choice. Now is the time to talk about ALL THE KEEPHIE FLUFF IN THE STORY ASDFGHJKL HFDSAKFHDSKAFHWEORUEWISDHKSFWEISFDJSKLJDSKLJsLFJ! *Dies in fangirl*

Tam: *Sarcastically* Oh no, she died again. How tragic.

Linh: That's mean. Here, I know how to bring her back to life. *Loudly* WOW, LOOK AT THAT DELICIOUS MALLOWMELT. SINCE FANGIRL'S DEAD, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO EAT IT ALL-

Me: MALLOWMELT! MY MALLOWMELT! I WANT THE MALLOWMELT! Wait... THERE IS NO MALLOWMELT! Oh well, I can fix that. *Snaps fingers* Nom nom nom I love mallowmelt.

Wylie: I'm sorry but did you just say "Nom nom nom?"

Me: YES I DID, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

Wylie: Weirdo.

Me: Why yes, I am a weirdo. Thank you so much for that brilliantly unobservant observation. Now, who else want to say something about KEEPHIE FLUFF!

Keefe: It was beautiful!

Sophie: Indeed.

Biana: ASDFGHJKL!

Linh: It was really cute!

Tam: I guess it was okay...

Dex: It actually was pretty cute.

Marella: PTERODACTYL SCREECHING!

Wylie: Whatever.

Fitz: NO! I HATED IT! IT WAS SO BARFISH!

Me: Barfish isn't a word, you pansycake.

Fitz: Yeah because pansycake is totally a word.

Me: Okay first of all, I didn't make that up. The genius Veronica Roth did. Second, touche, but the word barfish just sounds so... barfesque.

Fitz: OH, BARFESQUE IS A WORD NOW?

Me: No, it's fake word. And it sounds better than barfish.

Dex: Okay what is HAPPENING?

Me: I have no idea, honestly. Shall we react to Diana?

Biana: Diana?

Me: I mean, after Legacy it really does seem likely...

Marella: Oh mallowmelt, are we going to have to go through the DIANA OR BAM process _again?_ Once was more than enough.

Tam: NO! BIANA IS MINE! ALL MINE! If she wants to be, of course.

Glitterbutt23: *Rides back in on pugicorn* But if you had to choose, if you had to choose!

Biana: I chose Tam.

Me: But if you had to choose, if you had to choose!

Biana: I CHOSE TAM!

Glitterbutt23 and I (Applause): BUT IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!

Biana: FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU PSYCHOPATHS, I CHOSE-

Glitterbutt23 and I: JEFFERSON OR BURR, JEFFERSON OR BURR?

Glitterbutt23: But if you had to choose.

Me: But I'm still on Team BAM! and I hope it wins. Even though it's less likely...

Glitterbutt23: I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHIP!

Me: I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHIP!

Glitterbutt23 and I: YO I'M JUST LIKE MY FANDOM I'M INSANE, DYING, AND OBSESSED!

Glitterbutt23: AND I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHIP!

Tam: I think now would be a good time to stop.

Wylie: Agreed. Quick, while she's distracted!

 **Hey guys! I'm Wylie impersonating A very stupid fangirl- er, obsessed fangirl! So, um... I am again very deeply sorry that I abandoned you like the terrible terrible writer I am, but really I was doing you guys a favor because this is TRASH! Like seriously! Why do people read this! Sorry, what? *Indistinct whispering* Tam says that I'm not doing a very good job because I'm letting my hatred of A very stupid- darn, obsessed- fangirl get in the way of doing an accurate impression. But whatever. School sucks because I am an idiot who is failing each and every one of my classes, and I'm going to claim to be drowning in homework even though I'm not because I'm just procrastinating it. I looked at A. Fan's notes and apparently she's considering a Dex x Iggy chapter, which I think is amazingly stupid but what do you guys think? Thankfully, I'm running out of ideas for this terrible terrible fanfiction and it might end soon, so PLEASE DON'T HELP ME! Remember, LYLIE FOR THE WIN! Please review!**

Me: Hey wait I don't seem to remember giving you permission to end this!

Wylie: Too bad.

Me: MAY YOU STEP ON A LEGO!

Glitterbutt23: Woah, Fangirl, don't you think that's a bit harsh?

Me: Yeah, I suppose so... hmm... what do you think an appropriate punishment is?

Glitterbutt23: Make him read Litz fanfictions.

Me: Great idea! Thanks Glitterbutt!

Glitterbutt23: You're very welcome.

Glitterbutt23 and I: *Ride away on pugicorn*

 **Please review!**


	62. Chapter 61 (Fanfics part 1)

**R (Ch. 31): Sorry! If it's any consolation, after Legacy I think Diana's a little more likely.**

 **R (Ch. 29): Yep. :)**

 **R (Ch. 13): Thanks! So do I!**

 **R (Ch. 11): Ikr?**

 **Guest (Ch. 10): Indeediness.**

 **Guest (Ch. 9): Thanks!**

 **Guest (Ch. 3): Sorry.**

 **Guest (Ch. 1): Indeediness.**

 **Harryscuzin: I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR FANDOM BRAIN CELLS! THE YELLING IS FINE BECAUSE I YELL A LOT TOOOOOO! THANKS!**

 **Harryscuzin: Ikr thanks.**

 **Guest (Ch. 11): Thanks!**

 **LunaLovegood397: Thanks! OOF NO WRITERS BLOCK. YAY SOPHITZ BREAKUP! Thank you for the mallowmelt. I very much enjoyed it nom nom nom.**

 **MidnightBunnyy: WHY THE HECK NOT INDEED.**

 **Country-Fangirl: LFHDSIFKJLSFJSDKFJDSKDSJFKDLSJYESKEYBOARDSMASHINGLDSJFDSKL! Thanks!**

 **Okay so um...**

 **I'm a creative child.**

 **So I couldn't come up with any ideas for this chapter because Dex x Iggy (Diggy) didn't really work out because of writers block...**

 **So I kinda came up with this?**

 **Enjoy!**

Me: Hello childs today we are going to be doing something very fun.

Wylie: Define fun.

Me: Fun. Adjective. Informal. Adjective: fun; comparative adjective: funner; superlative adjective: funnest. Amusing, entertaining, or enjoyable. "It was a fun evening."

Wylie: I didn't mean the dictionary definition you idiot.

Me: Idiot. Noun. Noun: idiot; plural noun: idiots. INFORMAL. A stupid person. Example: ALL THOSE WHO DARE OPPOSE ME.

Linh: I'm like 98% sure that last bit isn't actually in the dictionary.

Me: By the way, did you know that 82% of statistics are made up on the spot?

Tam: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

Me: Shut up Tam. Anyway, today we are going to write fanfictions! And by me, I mean you guys. I'm going to sit here, read the Death Cure, **(Man, I _wish_ I had a copy of the Death cure) **and laugh at your struggles with writers block.

Keefe: *Has already written five pages* Writers block? What's that?

Me: I literally cannot decide whether to hate you or worship you.

Keefe: I'd go with worship.

Me: Anyway, you shouldn't've written that! I didn't explain all the rules yet! So anyway, you are going to write a oneshot for your OTP- which can _not_ include you in it! That means Keefe, I'd love to read your Sokeefe fanfiction, but not this chapter. At the end, we are going to read them all. Got it? Good.

Dex: I never said I-

Me: GET TO WORK! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!

 **~~~~timeskip~~~~~~**

Me: Okay Tam is presenting first! Mr. Salty Dude, you have the floor, sir.

Tam: LIFE LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS- I mean. Um. Um. Um.

Me: OMG TAM IS A HAMILFAN! WE HAVE CORRUPTED HIM! YAYYYYY! Anyway, read your story!

Tam: Okay so this is a Diana fanfiction... it's pretty short, but I think it's sweet.

Me: Ooh, Diana. Let me see!

Tam: " _'I_ _choose Dex,' Biana said. Dex exploded things in joy while Tam stalked off to eat salty tamtams and punch things. 'Dex has always been my true love, and I'm sorry it took me a while to realize that. Tam, you're very... salty, but it's just... I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED CINNAMON!'_

 _Dex smirked. Of course cinnamon would reign superior over salt. **(Tam's AN: Lies. All lies.)**_ _He then laughed at Tam's pain, proving that he wasn't nearly as nice and cinnamon-y as the fandom had been led to believe. Sadly, Biana did not notice Dex's evil and simply smiled as he cupped her face in his hands. They drew closer... closer... closer..._

 _Suddenly, a meteor fell from the sky and killed Dex. Biana was fine though. Well, physically anyway._

 _At Dex's funeral, Biana cried for her lost love. But then she realized something- they had been dating for approximately thirty seconds. She had loved him for about two minutes. She could easily find a new guy and move on from this loser._

 _So Biana went on to live a happy life with a salty emo boy who shall remain nameless because that is not the point of the story. And although she loved the salty emo boy with all her heart, she would never forget her first cinnamon-y love. Dexter I-don't-know-your-middle-name Dizznee._

Dex: It's Alvin.

Tam: What?

Dex: My middle name is Alvin.

Biana: Okay I'm sorry but THAT'S what you're focusing on?

Dex: I'm being nice and ignoring the fact that Tam killed me off in the story as an attempt to calm myself and not murder him in real life.

Tam: *Snorts* Please, Technonerd. I could crush you like a bug.

Dex: Oh really? What if I got technology to TURN YOU INTO A BUG!?

Tam: Yeah that's not possible.

Me: Or is it?

Sophie: It's really n-

Me: I SHALL ASK SHANNON! *Snaps fingers*

Shannon Messenger **(Okay if you ever read this I am genuinely really sorry for destroying your beautiful work of art and then dragging you into this mess.)** : Hello? Where am I?

Me: Good question. The short answer is, you are briefly part of this monstrosity I am typing on a chromebook. This is because I wanted to know whether Dex could turn Tam into a bug with some sort of gadget.

Shannon: Okay, let me ask you something.

Me: Okay.

Shannon: You have author powers, correct?

Me: YES! I AM VERY GOOD AT MY AUTHOR POWERS! HERE WATCH THIS! *Snaps fingers* *Something explodes in the distance.*

Shannon: Now, do you think that since you are so powerful in a fanfiction about Keepers, the actual author of KOTLC would have even stronger author powers in your fanfiction?

Me: ... probably.

Shannon: *Disappears*

Me: Honestly that was probably a smart decision. Anyway... Dex, you're next.

Dex: Well... I had one for Tiana, but I don't want to read it after what TAM DID TO ME!

Me: Fine, I'll read it. _"How do I look?" Tam asked._

 _"You look fine." Linh sighed._

 _"Do I look too emo?"_

 _"She loves your emo-ness."_

 _"Do you think she'll like the ring?" Tam said, starting to pace._

Me: HEY WAIT! I WROTE THIS! THIS IS A TIANA ONESHOT, CHAPTER TWO! PLAGIARISM!

Dex: Okay, here, I'll fix it. IMPROV! _"~~~~timeskip~~~~~~ Tam nervously fingered the ring in his pocket. Biana happily chatted about... well, something. Tam was too panicked to listen. Which was why Biana had to say his name four times to get his attention._

 _'Tam!'_

 _'Hmm? Sorry.' Tam replied._

 _'Are you okay? You look like you may be coming down with something...'_

 _'I'm fine.' Tam assured her. He gulped. 'Biana,_ _I love you so, so much. And I have no idea why someone as perfect as you ended up with me, but hey, I'm not complaining. I love literally everything about you, even your annoying tendency to spend five hours shopping for one dress and then you end up buying like fifty. You are the person I want to be with for the rest of eternity...' he knelt down and took out the ring. Biana gasped. '...so will you marry me, Biana?'_

Me: HEY YOU STOLE MY PROPOSAL SPEECH TOO!

Dex: Sorry. _"Biana twisted her hair around her fingers. 'Um... I don't know what to say...'_

 _'Yes?' Tam prompted._

 _'Hmm... I don't think... no!_ No _is the answer I was looking for! I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU TAM!' Laughing, Biana light leaped away, leaving Tam to die alone in a hole."_

Dex: There. That's what Tam deserves.

Biana: BOYS! STOP FIGHTING!

Tam, Dex: Sorry ma'am.

Marella: DEAR LORD NOT THIS AGAIN!

Dex, Tam: Sorry ma'am.

Biana: Anyway, my turn! My oneshot is about the obvious OTP... KEEPHIE!

Sophie, Keefe, Me: *Applaud*

Biana: Thank you, thank you. This is about how the waking-up-from-the-coma scene should go in book nine. Probably won't, but... _"Sophie stared at Keefe's unconscious form. Weeks and weeks had passed, and still... nothing. He was still asleep. And Sophie was slowly turning back into a zombie. What's worse was, the only person who could get her out of zombie mode last time was the one in a coma. So it seemed like the only way she would ever feel better is if Keefe woke up._

 _But that was becoming increasingly less likely._

 _To give herself something to do other than reflect on her miserable life, Sophie stretched her mind out to Keefe so she could check on his dreams. He was dreaming of gold-flecked brown eyes that Sophie recognized as her own._ But why would he be dreaming about my eyes? _she wondered. Sophie shook that thought away._

Keefe? _Sophie transmitted._ Can you hear me? _she added, knowing for sure it wouldn't work._

Mmm... Foster... _Keefe's mind mumbled. Sophie sat up in shock, feeling more alive than she had in weeks._

Keefe?

I'm tired... _Keefe thought._

I know you are, _Sophie replied._ But can you wake up? I need you to wake up.

Mmm... five more minutes. _Keefe thought. Sophie assumed this was how every morning started for him. Knowing Keefe, this was possible. He really did_ not _seem like a morning person._

No. Wake up now. _Sophie ordered._

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. _Keefe's mind groaned. Painfully slowly, his eyes started to open. As Sophie's eyes fell upon that beautiful shade of ice blue she feared she would never see again, her heart fluttered."_ Yes, I know, it was great. Thank you, thank you.

Sophie: Wow, that actually was really good. I loved it.

Marella: Ooh! My turn! I have a Kam fanfiction!

Keefe: Ew, Kam.

Me: WRONG! KAM IS BEAUTIFUL AND GLORIOUS AND PERFECT! KAM IS NOT _EW._

Keefe: But _BANGS BOY-_

Me: Is perfect with you! Kam forever! Go ahead Marella.

Marella: _" 'You know, I was thinking,' Keefe said._

 _'Really? This is a really rare. We should celebrate!' Tam declared in true salty fashion._

 _'Hahaha, very funny. Anyway, I was thinking that I hate your last name.' Keefe said._

 _'Keefe, we're already engaged.' Tam informed him._

Keefe, Tam: WHAT!?

Me: YES YOU ARE ENGAGED NOW KISS!

Sophie, Biana: Um?

Me: You two can kiss too.

Sophie, Biana, Keefe, Tam: NO!

Me: I hate you all. Marella, continue.

Marella: _"_ _'I know,' Keefe said. 'But we haven't discussed who's last name we're taking. You know, we both hate our families. So which one should we go with? The obvious solution is neither. We should make one up.'_

Sophie: This actually does sound like Keefe.

Marella: I know right? _" 'That's a really stupid idea.' Tam replied. 'Do you have any suggestions? Also, on a scale of one to ten, how much am I going to laugh in your face?'_

 _'Zero!' Keefe declared. 'Because this isn't a stupid idea! My suggestion is going to be the best last name ever!'_

 _Tam rolled his eyes. 'Go ahead.'_

 _'We shall become...' Keefe paused for dramatic effect... 'KEEFE AND TAM MCGULON!'_

 _Tam gave Keefe an_ Are you serious? _look. 'McGulon. Seriously?'_

 _'Yes!'_

 _'No.' Tam rolled his eyes again. 'You're such an idiot. Why am I dating such an idiot?'_

 _'You love me.' Keefe laughed._

 _Tam sighed. 'Unfortunately, I do.'_

Me: Beautiful. I loved it. Now, we've already exceeded my general chapter length so we're going to split this into two parts! Part two coming soon... ish...

Wylie: Hahahahaha what a lie.

Me: Shut up Wylie.

 **Hope you enjoyed! Whoo, longest chapter! Anyway, I have a very special announcement.**

 **You guys know my terrible book eight prediction? Legacy, What is a Legacy? Of course you do. Well, I'm writing a book nine prediction called Swan Song! GO READ IT NOW!**

 **And please review!**


	63. Chapter 62 (Fanfics part 2)

**Hey guys! I'm back with fanfics part two! *Holds up applause sign***

 ***No one applauds***

 **Okay, I'm not doing this again like in Swan Song. TIME TO RESPOND TO REVIEWS!**

 **R: I mean... that's _fair..._ Stalin is amazing. Have I done that one yet? Ahh, the perils of not knowing what the mallowmelt you are doing. Also shut up spellcheck mallowmelt IS a word it is the name of my TRUE LOVE!**

 **Harryscuzin: Yes, I _am_ a huge fan of Kam bromance... but I'm _also_ a huge fan of Kam romance even though I'm hardcore Sokeefe... AHHHHHHHHHHH MULTISHIPPINGGGGGGGG!**

 **Kiki858love: Yes indeedyness.**

 **RamenG: Thanks!**

 **Country-Fangirl: Good point.**

 **Cary Swirls: Aww, thank you! TAM AND KEEFE MCGULON FOREVER! Um... does three weeks qualify as ASAP? Lol I'm such an inconsistent procrastinatory updater. But thank you so much!**

 **Anyway, time for fanfics part two! Enjoy!**

Me: Guess what guys?

Wylie: You're letting us leave?

Me: HAHAHAHAHA NO. Just for that, Wylie, you can go first!

Wylie: Go first with what?

Me: Wylie, Wylie, Wylie. How could you forget? Today we're continuing with... KOTLC WRITES KOTLC FANFICTION!

Wylie: Oh yes that. How on _earth_ could I forget? Oh yes, because I was trying to block out painful memories. MY BAD.

Me: Yes. You're bad.

Tam: OH MY DSLUTOWESJFDSOKJFEWOSDFJDSOFJDS A. FAN USED THE WRONG "YOUR!"

Me: No no no that was intentional. If I used the wrong your I would probably delete my accoun- DEX STOP HACKING INTO MY COMPUTER AND CHANGING ALL THE "YOUR"S! THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!

Dex: What? ...I didn't do anything! I'M INNOCENT!

Me: Hmm... you know what I'm _really_ craving right now?

Dex: No. How the mallowmelt would I know that?

Me: I'm craving CINNAMON!

Dex: Pfft you'd never eat me. I'm one of your favorite characters and I'm your "precious Dexy bean who should be on a cover" or something like that.

Me: True true true very true. Anyway... WYLIE, GO AHEAD AND READ YOUR FANFICTION THAT'S EVEN CRAPPIER THAN MINE!

Wylie: Trust me, that's not possible.

Me: Actually, considering I'm writing your fanfiction as you since really you are all figment of mine and Shannon's imagination...

Marella: Aaaaaaaaand that's fourth wall break number 4958734985734895743!

Biana: I'm pretty sure it's way more than that.

Marella: Well I rounded to the nearest 4958734985734895743, okay?

Biana: ...okay?

Linh: Anyway, go ahead Wylie! I'm sure it'll be great.

Me: COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK HACK YEAH RIGHT COUGH WHEEZE.

Linh: *Disapproving look*

Me: Sorry Linh.

Wylie: *CLEARS THROAT* This fanfiction is about the obvious OTP...

Linh: Lylie?

Tam: Tiana?

Dex: Dexella?

Keefe: Sokeefe?

Fitz: Fitzph- fine. No.

Me: OOH! I KNOW! Is it... Sokeefe-Tiana-Dexella-Lylie-Marellinh-Marelliana-Sophiana-Linhiana-Solinh-FedEx-Kam-Kam-Kam-Keefex-Solinhiana-Dover-Chandelitz-Sophockets-Sokeefe?

Dex: Um. Did you just name every single ship?

Me: No. Only the good ones.

Linh: So what's the real ship?

Wylie: ...A. Fan x trash.

Me: Um. This is outrageous! Trash is one of my best friends! That's all we'll ever be!

Friend: Um, A. Fan? I'm actually a trash _can._ Honestly, your ignorance about my species disgusts me. And HA I GOT A TWENTY OUT OF TWENTY ON THE GEOGRAPHY QUIZ! *Disappears*

Me: *Sobs* I only got a nineteen out of twenty... I'm a failure...

Wylie: Okay, I'd love to point out who you intended to make me start in the first few sentences and now we're 400 words into the chapter.

Me: Fine, fine, just get on with it!

Wylie: *Clears throat* _"Everyone thought A. Fan, a truly terrible name by the way_ _, would be single forever. After all, who would want to date_ her? _Like, seriously. She had no social life because she was always on this terrible-"_

Me: You misspelled glorious.

Wylie: I'm just gonna ignore you from now on. _"This terrible site called fanfiction, where she wrote completely crappy stories and people pretended to like them out of pity."_

Me: HEY! MY FANS ON THIS SITE ARE REAL! Right guys?

*Silence*

Dex: Oh no, she's doing this again. Should we- *lowers voice* _Should we tell her no one likes her work?_

Keefe: Dude, let her labor under her delusions a bit longer.

Wylie: _"She was also really ugly and awkward. Plus she was a_ total _geek, and had like two friends."_

Linh: Actually, she has three friends. And Wylie, that's mean.

Wylie: Sorry Linh. But she's been mean to us for sixty one chapters. It's time for a little payback.

Linh: ...okay. But I still think it's mean. But okay.

Wylie: _"In short, she was quite unpopular, and her love life was doomed. Or so she thought. One day, she actually managed to catch someone's eye. Well, metaphorical eye."_ Sorry, was metaphorical too big a word for you?

Me: HEY! YOU JUST WROTE ABOUT HOW NERDY I AM, AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WORD _METAPHORICAL!?_ MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DUDE!

Wylie: Fine, you know the word. _"For years, he had been searching-"_

Biana: I'm sorry, did you just assume trash's gender? That's not nice. We should ask them their preferred pronouns.

Tam: Garbage truck just left.

Fitz: Nah, that's fine. Just assume trash is a guy.

Keefe: No. It is 2020. We don't assume genders. For all we know, trash identifies as an attack helicopter.

Wylie: Will you guys just shut up? _"For years,_ they _had been searching for someone as disgusting and pathetic as they were. As..._ trashy, _if you will. Although A. Fan was actually far more disgustingly pathetic and trashy, the trash liked being the superior one in a relationship. And they knew they would never find a person more terrible than A. Fan. So, it was like love at first sight."_

Tam: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS A MYTH! Like, COME ON! There's no way you could fall in love with someone the second you see them! What are you basing it on anyway? Looks? That's so _shallow!_ No, you need to get to know one another before you fall in love. You need to start trusting each other and let your feelings slowly develop based on their _personality._ Love. At. First. Sight. Does. Not. EXIST!

Me: That is the most beautiful paragraph I have ever heard/read/written. It's all true.

Fitz: B-but SOPHITZ was love at first sight!

Wylie: I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT DEBATE! _"One day, trash worked up the courage to ask A. Fan out. Rationally, they knew A. Fan was bound to say yes- it wasn't like she'd ever get a better offer, or even another offer for that matter. But A. Fan was so amazingly_ ugly _that flies were floating in trash's nonexistent stomach. Still, trash swallowed hard and said_

 _'A. Fan, for years I have searched for someone like you. Everyone said no one could ever love a trash can, so I knew I needed to find someone even more disgusting and pathetic and trashy than me. And you, you want below and beyond my standards. I know I'll never find another as disgusting, pathetic, and trashy as you, so please, A. Fan. Will you marry me?"_

 _A. Fan was shocked. She thought it was impossible for_ anyone, _even trash, to love a vile creature like her. Slowly, a smile spread across her face. Finally, she had found someone who would accept her for the mess she was! Someone only_ slightly _better than her, like trash!_

 _'Yes.'_

Wylie: So, did you like it?

Tam: Oh yes! I thought it was very accurate!

Me: HEY! I HATED IT! That is _not_ art! It's... trash!

Wylie: Oh, so you love it?

Me: Shut up Wylie. Let's see if your girlfriend did any better.

Linh: So, um, I wrote a FedEx fanfiction. It's not quite my OTP, but it is cute. I like all the ships as long as the people are happy.

Me: You are precious and sweet and nie. Why can't your boyfriend follow your example?

Wylie: Because I hate you. Go ahead sweetheart.

Me + Lylie Fans: SPDRUEWSODFNSDLFJEWPOSDJGDFSLFJDSLFJDSLFJLFJWEORIUODMFVCSXFOEWSUTJEFMOGFSDSWEETHEART!

Linh: *Blushing* Um. _"I don't hate you. A FedEx fanfiction by Linh Song._

 _Dex laughed at Fitz's joke. The smile stayed on his face, and he continued looking at Fitz even as the topic of conversation changed._

 _Sophie nudged him. 'Hey, it looks like you're actually enjoying the company of Wonderboy. Thought you hated him.'_

 _Dex blushed furiously, immediately ripping his gaze away from the handsome teal eyed elf he was-_ handsome?! What?! _Was Dex's brain dying? Was he coming down with something? He was so shocked it took him a second to remember Sophie's question. 'What? I do! Wonderboy_ infuriates _me!'_

 _Sophie smiled. 'I'm not as oblivious as you think.'_

 _'What's that supposed to mean?'_

 _'Looks like_ you _are, though.' Sophie added._

 _'Oblivious about what?'_

 _Sophie laughed. 'Come on Dex. It's not exactly a secret.' She lowered her voice, throwing a glance at Fitz who was deep in conversation with Keefe. 'Everyone knows you_ liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike _Fitz.'_

 _Dex sputtered indignantly. 'What the- what? No! Wonderboy? What-_ I DO NOT LIKE HIM!' _His face was the color of a tomato._

 _'Sure.' Sophie's imparter buzzed, and she checked it. 'Grady and Edaline want me home.'_

 _'Good.' Dex grumbled._

 _She smirked. Just before she left, she whispered 'By the way- I think Fitz likes you too.'_

 _Dex rolled his eyes and ignored her._

 _That night, as Dex was tossing and turning, Sophie's words kept echoing in his head- 'Everyone knows you_ liiiiiiiiiiiike _Fitz.' Of course he didn't! What the mallowmelt was she-_

 _Honestly, though..._

 _She might have a point._

 _Dex groaned. Was he, the sworn enemy of the Vackers, falling for Wonderboy?_ Yes. _A voice in his head answered. Dex buried his face in the pillow._

 _Then he remembered what else Sophie said-_ 'I think Fitz likes you too.' _A smile came to Dex's face as he drifted off to sleep._

 _The next day, he decided to see if Sophie was right. Mallowmelt, if she wasn't he'd murder her for this insane humiliation he was about to suffer. Every move was like a nightmare as he tapped Fitz on the shoulder and they walked to a more private area._

 _Dex took a deep breath. 'Wonderboy, I... I don't hate you.' He managed, finishing lamely._ Great job, Dizznee. Keep going. _'In fact, I actually kind of... like-like you.'_ _He blushed harder than he ever had before._

 _Fitz flashed a movie star smile and everything in Dex relaxed and melted. 'You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear that.'_

Me: WHOOOOOOOO! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL! YEAH GO LINH!

Dex: Hate the ship, but that was actually pretty good.

Sophie: Are you kidding? "Pretty good?" That was INCREDIBLE!

Linh: *A tomato* Thanks guys!

Me: Well... Almost exceeded personal word limit, so we're gonna stop here. Next time is part three! Check out Swan Song and please review!


	64. Chapter 63 (Fanfics part 3)

**Guest: Cool, me too!**

 **The-Vegginonymous-Potato: I mean... that's all true, but... is there a reason you reviewed that?**

 **Harryscuzin: I ship FedEx too, but not Drarry.** **L: Aw, that's sad. Hopefully you come back soon!**

 **Country-Fangirl: Yeah you tell him!**

 **MidnightBunnyy: Wellllll thank you then. And YASSSSS FEDEX!**

 **Well, hope you guys enjoy! This update isn't... _as_ late as it could be! In fact, by my standards-**

 **Wylie: Blah, blah, blah. No one cares.**

 **Me: Oh, so now you're tormenting me in my A/N's too?**

 **Wylie: I mean, you _could_ just let me leave...**

 **Me: Lollllll good joke Wylie.**

 **Anyway, guys, enjoy the chapter!**

Me: Hmm... who do we have left? Let's see... *goes back and reads other fanfic chapters because I'm just an inconsistent forgetful author like that* Fitz, Keefe, and Sophie! This is going to be _interesting!_ Now, who should be my first victim- I MEAN, READER! Sorry, I tend to say crazy things when I'm sleep deprived-

Wylie: And when you're not sleep deprived.

Tam: And when you're sleeping.

Wylie: Basically, anything that comes out of your mouth is crazy.

Me: Even this?

Wylie: Even wha-

Me: "LYLIE FOR THE WINH!"

Wylie: Well, except that.

Me: Ooh, and "Bam! It's Tiana, because it's all about the ***Bangs™***!"

Tam: Hmm, and that. But otherwise-

Me: "WYLIE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE IN THIS FANFICTION!"

Wylie: Fine, fine, you've made your point.

Me: "Tam is salty."

Tam: Will you just shut up and get on with the story?

Me: Fine. So, as I was _saying,_ who should my next vic- _reader-_ be? Hmm... *Creepily stares at Keefe, Sophie, and Fitz* Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head! You shall read your fanfiction!

Fitz: Do I have to?

Me: Yes. Because I am writing a book nine prediction. I could easily kill you off. And then at your funeral Sophie will say "Oh, good! He's finally gone!" and proceed to make out with Keefe. So, in conclusion, never annoy an author because she will get her revenge. Did I make myself clear?

Fitz: Yes... please don't kill me in Swan Song... but... I really don't want to-

Me: You wanna know how you'd die? You'd get stuck in a chandelier again, and then the chandelier would fall- and land right on top of you! RIP Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head!

Fitz: Okay. Okay. So I wrote a fanfiction for Solophie.

Sophie: Does that count as a ship?

Me: Hmm, good question. Better ask the book of shipping.

Book of shipping: Hey, haven't seen you guys in a while! How are you?

Me: Dying. You?

Book of shipping: Fanpotatoing. So, anyway, what do you need advice on? Is it on whether or not it's okay to ignore a character death in order to keep shipping your OTP? The answer is YES! WHOO! KENRALIE FOREVER!

Me: Good, 'cause I do that. But that's not why I called you here. I need to know: Does a Solophie fanfiction count as a ship oneshot?

Book of shipping: I mean, not _really,_ but Solophie's great so I would support you making an exception.

Me: Great, thanks!

Book of shipping: Anytime!

Me: So, Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head-

Fitz: Could you not call me that?

Me: *Takes out notepad* Fitz... caught... chandelier... creaking noise...

Fitz: Call me whatever you'd like!

Me: Good, good. Fitzipoo Wonderboy Chandelier Head, proceed with the Solophie fanfiction.

Fitz: _"Sophie walked up to Everglen for the Black Swan reunion. 'Wow, it's been a while since I saw you!' she said to her EBWSATBJFWBMSLSNS, or Fitz._ _Staring into his gorgeous teal eyes made her heart flutter, as it did so many years ago, when she loved him more than anything else in the world."_

Tam: Wow, egotistical much?

Fitz: Uh... big word!

Tam: *Salty eyeroll* Just continue.

Fitz: _"Sadly, they were broken up years ago by Lord Uglyhair-"_

Keefe: EXCUSE ME, WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! KILL HIM, FANGIRL, KILL HIM!

Me: *Takes notepad back out* ...Fitz... _WANNA SWING... CHANDELIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEER..._ another creak...

Fitz: Sorry! Typo!

Keefe: Good.

Sophie: Also, Keefe isn't what broke us up. I realized my feelings for him _way_ after we finished dating. We broke up because of your stupid matchmaking obsession. Duh.

Fitz: LET ME TELL THE STORY MY WAY. _"Even though Fitz resented Lord Ug-Hunkyhair for stealing the beautiful Sophie, he was still sad when Hunkyhair was killed by his psycho mother. Nowhere near as sad as Sophie, though. She was heartbroken. But then, after living in zombie-mode for months, she realized- Yes, it was sad that Keefe died, but she didn't need a guy to be happy! Or a girl, so don't look so excited, A. Fan. She could move on and live a perfectly happy life as SINGLE SOPHIE! However, her friends were not so happy about this decision._

 _'Sophie, I really like you, would you consider-' said Deck._

 _'No.'_

 _'Sophie, will you marry-' said Salty Boy._

 _'No.'_

 _'Sophie, guess what, I'm gay, do you like me ba-' said Linh._

 _'No.'_

 _But then, the most attractive one of all, the one Sophie fell for so many years ago looked at her with his beautiful teal eyes. Ah, those beautiful teal eyes. Even as she told her heart to stop, it couldn't help but flutter. Those eyes... so breathtaking."_

Keefe: WE GET IT, FITZ, YOU LIKE YOUR EYES!

Biana: I HAVE THE SAME EYES!

Fitz: But- but Team Fitz! It's all about the ***EYES***!

Keefe: The ***HAIR*** is far better!

Dex: No, the ***DIMPLES***-

Tam: The ***BANGS***

Sophie: Boys! Stop arguing! Fitz, continue with your story!

Fitz: Thanks, Beautiful Sophie.

Sophie: Um-

Fitz: _"Truly, Fitz was... different... than the rest of these morons. Sophie prayed he wouldn't ask her out, for she had doubts about her willpower. But... would it really be the worst thing if she gave up her Solophie ideals and dated Wonderboy? She... wasn't sure. Oh, the indecision! How it plagued her! Before she had time to really think it through at weigh the pros and cons and ask for the opinions of experts, Fitz opened his mouth and asked that dreaded, yet amazing, question._

 _'Sophie, I... I know you want to be single, and I know we broke up years ago, but... no matter how much my head tells me to leave you alone, my heart just wants to be with you. Sophie, I'd understand if you say no, but it's impossible for me to not at least try- Sophie, would you be willing to give me another chance at being your boyfriend?'_

 _Sophie was only given a second to make her decision, and she hoped it was the right one. Before she could change her mind, Sophie opened her mouth and gave her answer."_

And it just ends there! Look at that, I pulled a Shannon, and it's not _technically_ a Sophitz story! I am _so_ talented.

Me: Fine, whatever. Keefe, your turn.

Keefe: Um, I think we all know which _obvious_ OTP I'm gonna write about- sadly, not Sokeefe, since Fangirl said I couldn't, but the other OTP- can anyone guess?

Fitz: Sophitz!

Sophie: Chandelitz!

Biana: Sparkana?

Tam: Bam! It's Tiana?

Wylie: Lylie?

Dex: Dover?

Marella: Dexella?

Linh: FedEx?

Me: Fangirlmelt?

Keefe: No! You're all wrong! The answer is, BO AND RO! I am going to recite the ballad!

 **Ad break! You can find this story as a fanfiction on A very obsessed fangirl's account. It is entitled The Ballad of Bo and Ro. Would you be so kind as to go and review it?**

Wylie: Fangirl, you're pathetic.

Me: Probably. Anyway, Keefe, go ahead!

Keefe: _"_ _Bo and Ro,_

 _And ogre couple._

 _Bo and Ro,_

 _They'll do an ogre snuggle._

 _Their names rhyme,_

 _Isn't that so cute?_

 _Ro's pointing a melder at me._

 _I better run before she shoots."_

Ro: *Has magically appeared to listen* *Takes out melder* Yes... you'd better. By the way, you might want to watch out for some flesh-eating bacteria...

Keefe: *Gulps* _"I don't really know their story,_

 _But I know I'll win the bet._

 _I win every time._

 _Ro is not a threat!_

Ro: *Aims melder* Wanna repeat that?

Keefe: Um... _no. "BoRo must be_

 _The best couple ever._

 _Well, except for Team Foster Keefe._

 _I know we're even better."_

Sophie: Well, that last bit is true.

Keefe: Obviously. _"Now Ro is looking at me,_

 _Like I'm going to die._

 _Um, running away now!_

 _Hope you liked it- BYE!"_

Ro: Smart decision, Funkyhair.

Sophie: But I really liked the ballad!

Biana: Yeah, it was really good!

Tam: Mallowmelt, Fangirl, you're pathetic.

Me: Yeah... yeah, that's true. Sophie, your turn!

Sophie: Okay, so I wrote a Keefitz fic. It's obviously not my OTP, since I'm _dating_ Keefe, but I don't feel like getting involved in any ship wars. So I'm just going to give a joke resolution to the ship war over me. Plus, it's funny and I know Fitz will hate it.

Me: Lol I like your reasoning.

Sophie: Thank you! _"Sophie hesitated. Both of the boys asking her out were so wonderful- how would she ever choose between them? The answer was, she couldn't. When she told them so, both boys sighed. Fitz was especially shocked later- when Sophie Foster chose his sister!"_

Me: OH YES SOPHIANA YES YES I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP THANK YOU SOPHIE YAYYYY SOPHIANAAAAA!

Biana: Um... she's insane.

Me: Fangirling and multishipping does that to you! *Maniacal laughing*

Sophie: Okay then. _"Keefe and Fitz were in Fitz's room at Everglen, sulking about how Sophie didn't choose them. At one point, Keefe had the brilliant idea- make her jealous by dating each other. Of course, he may have had a subconscious ulterior motive, but shh! He doesn't know that yet! Fitz agreed to the plan, and thus began the start of their fake-relationship._

 _As it turns out, the plan worked! Although really, it never does in real life. But this is a fanfiction. So the jealousy plan worked."_

Fourth wall: OH MALLOWMELT! OH THE AGONY, I'M DYING!

Me: Lol. I killed you a _while_ ago. Continue.

Sophie: _"Sophie tugged at an eyelash and said to Keefe 'Hey. Um. Biana and I broke up-'"_

Me: WHAAAAAAAAAT!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sophie: Chill. _"'So, um, Keefe... it's fine if you want to stay with Fitz, but I was... wondering if you would give me a second chance?'_

 _Keefe looked between his longtime crush and his fake boyfriend. This was the moment he had been dreaming of for years- so why did it feel so wrong to say yes? Was it... no, it couldn't be... but maybe..._

 _...because he came to actually_ like _Fitz...?_

 _The more Keefe thought about it, the more it made sense- especially all his jealousy over Fitzphie. Maybe he had really liked Fitz all along? Ugh, being an empath really didn't make him smarter about his own feelings. Either way, by now he was sure he had fallen in love with Wonderboy. And his empathy didn't fail him this time- he could tell that Fitz felt the same way._

 _Keefe smiled apologetically at Sophie. "Sorry, but... I guess I just chose Fitz, you know?"_

 _Fitz grinned and squeezed Keefe's hand, turning bright red._

 _Sophie sighed. It was sad that Keefe rejected her- but both ends of the love triangle fell for each other, how could that be considered anything less than pure gold?"_

Sophie: Did you like it?

Me: Yes very good. Now, speaking of things that are pure gold... I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE KOTLC WRITES KOTLC FANFICTION SERIES! *Confetti*

 **Well, hope you enjoyed! This was actually a lot of fun to write- both the fanfictions and the others' reactions. My personal favorite fanfiction was A. Fan x trash, lol.**

 **Longest chapter- exceeding 2,000 words! Remember when it used to be like 300 per chapter? *Sigh* fEeLs LiKe JuSt YeStErDaY!**

 **Anyway, I have an Iggy color poll up on my profile page- would you be so kind as to go vote on it? Thanks! Please review!**


	65. Chapter 64

**R (ch 1): Lol, it's fine.**

 **R (Fanpotatoing): Credit goes to the amazing MagicDaydreamer! It's the gender-neutral form of fangirling.**

 **R (Bo and Ro): Lol yes.**

 **R (A. fan x trash): Thank you! I am trash though, XD.**

 **R: Thanks for taking the time! It is my personal opinion that everybody needs a Glitterbutt23 in their life. Lol, the metal waterbottle.**

 **R (Ship requests): Yeah, I can do the two salty death boys! Even though solangelo is life.**

 **R (FedEx): FEDEX! FEDEX! FEDEX! SHIP IT LIKE FEDEEEEEXXXXXXX!**

 **Sarcasticsnark13: Thank you so much! I'll try not to. That really means a lot to me. Team Foster Keefe forever indeed!**

 **Country-Fangirl: Ah, laziness. I can relate. Lol, thanks!**

 **MidnightBunnyy: It's on my profile page... Idk if it shows up on phones. WHOO! KENRALIE!**

 **Cary Swirls: The book of shipping thesaurus section puts rant with review! XD. Yes, the ™s are very funny. I might be obsessed ™ with them! Thank you! (SOPHIANAAAAAAAA!) And also single Sophie! I love the rant, lol!**

 **~/~**

More excerpts from the book of shipping! With the Keepers crew reacting!

 **"Fanfiction terms:**

 _AU- Alternate universe. A setting of a fanfiction that differs from canon in some major way. EX: Human AU (A fanfiction for a fantasy fandom that makes characters live in an ordinary human world), Soulmate AU (See page ###), or Modern AU (A fanfiction for a novel/series which takes place in the past/future and puts in in modern times.)"_

Wylie: *Raises hand* Can we live in an AU where you don't exist?

Me: Shut up Wylie. And, no.

 _"OC: A fanfiction character created by the author, that does not canonically appear in the novel/series."_

Wylie: *Raises hand* Can we have an OC come and kill you?

Me: NO!

Nameless OC: *Right behind me holding a knife* Really? Darn.

Me: Oh, and Wylie, stop interrupting the book of shipping just to insult me. We want _intelligent_ comments on these.

Tam: Then why are you here?

Keefe: _Ooooooooooohhhh, BURRRRRNNNNNNNNNN!_

Me: I thought you liked me!

Keefe: That was still a roast.

Me: Fine. Keefe, your hair is ug- No! No, I can't say it! It's impossible!

Keefe: *Hair flip* Of course. Bangs Boy's, on the other hand, is _really_ ugl- ug- ug- why isn't it working!? The bangs-

Linh: Don't you mean the ****Bangs****?

Keefe: Oh yeah. The ****Bangs**** are so ug-u-unbelievably gorgeous! Wait, what? No! A. Fan, stop using your author powers on me!

Me: *Holding notepad and pen (Yes I'm aware that this is a chromebook but notepad/pen is more iconic for an author)* Kam Kam Kammy Kam Kam!

Sophie: But KEEPHIE!

Biana: But BAM!

Me: Sophiana! Sophiana! Sophiana!

Marella: But aren't you-

Me: MULTISHIPPIIIIIIIIIIING!

Sophie: Anyway, we're pretty off-topic, let's get back to the book.

 _"Canon: Events that actually take place in the fandom as written by the original author, not part of a fanfiction._

 _Headcannon/Headcanon: No one can agree on a spelling. An idea created by a fan that did not canonically happen._

 _Crossover: A fanfiction combining the characters and/or settings of two fandoms._

 _Feels: Intense fandom-triggered emotions._

 _POV: Point of view._

 _Ships: See page one. Also, seriously, if you don't know what that is, WHY ARE YOU HERE?"_

Me: See, we got through all that without any interruptions! I knew you could do it, Wylie!

Wylie: *With tape over his mouth* Mmph!

Me: Aw, thank you! Now let's continue!

 **"What to do if someone bashes your ship:"**

Me: Unless, of course, the ship is a notp discussed elsewhere in the book, then ship bashing isn't _necessarily_ a crime. Probably still rude, so try to avoid bashing notp's when shippers are around.

Linh: Bashing is never nice! All ships should be respected!

Me: FLINH! FLINH! FLINH!

Linh: Um... except that one.

Fitz: Hey! Why-

Me: ONTO THE BOOK EXCERPT!

 _"You can..._

 _1) Bash their ship. However, this is generally viewed as the WRONG response."_

Tam: *Writing 500-page essay on why Thalico sucks (which it DOES!) because someone bashed Solangelo, his OTP* What do you mean, it's totally the right response!

Linh: Tam? Are you... _a Solangelo fanpotato?_

Tam: *Shoves Solangelo merchandise behind him* *Panics* What? Nooooooooooo...

Linh: Oh my mallowmelt, he _is!_

Tam: SDFEJFDSLKFJEWORUEWJKD! NO!

Biana: It's okay, Tam. I think it's cute!

Tam: *Becomes a tomato* **(A Tam-ato! HAHAHAHA I'm funny)**

Me: Awwwwwwww, Bam!

Dex: Weren't you _just_ fangirling over Kam and Sophiana?

Me: Multishipping!

 _"2) Defend your ship politely."_

Linh: *Calmly writing an essay on Lams* That one's the right response!

Dex: Is this like a Song twins thing?

Me: *Reading essay* LAMS! ! ! ! ! ! !

Wylie: (In perfect Lauren's interlude voice) Tomorrow there'll be more of us!

Me: *Takes out dueling pistols* Why the mallowmelt would you even-

Wylie: CONTINUE WITH THE BOOK PLEASE!

 _"3) Ignore them._

 _4) Alert the other shippers and let them deal with the basher._

 _5) Probably some other response that I can't think of at the moment- WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T GO BACK AND CHANGE THIS!?"_

Wylie: Lol, A. Fan's life struggles.

Me: *Obsessively reading Lams fluff* HEY!

 **"Fanperson noises:**

 _Asdfghjkl: It's not entirely clear how this is pronounced, but I think it's AS-DUH-FUG-JI-KILL. This term is used to express excitement or as a response to extreme cuteness._

 _Pterodactyl screech: Screech like a pterodactyl. Also used as a response to excitement and/or cuteness. WARNING: MAY CAUSE HEARING LOSS TO THE SURROUNDING AREA._

 _Keyboard smash: Smashing the keyboard to express extreme feels. These keyboard smashes do not need to be understandable, legible, or pronounceable. Examples include DSKTHEWIDFSKJLHDSFDJSLDFJSF or KDSJFLKSJFSADJGDLFISA. The letters a, s, d, f, j, k, and l are most common in keyboard smashes because they're on the home row. Keyboard smashes can also sometimes contain a hidden message inside, like DKFHSDKFJSLDFMALLOWMELTADKHDSKFAMAZKDJGDSKFJS, which contains the name of my crush._

 _AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH: What do you think this means? It's screaming._

 _Hyperventilation/ gasping: Again- WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS MEANS?  
_

 _Idk if this counts as a noise but... CAPS LOCK. USED TO EXPRESS EMPHASIS, SCREAMING, OR SOMEONE WHO TURNED IT ON AND IS TOO LAZY/ FORGOT TO TURN IT OFF. (I AM VERY MUCH GUILTY OF THAT LAST ONE. LIKE RIGHT NOW XD.)"_

Me: *Making all the fangirl noises*

Everyone else: *Mildly deaf*

 **"Dictionary/Thesaurus of fangirls:**

 _Sane: (Adj.) Meaning: Insane. Synonyms: Obsessed, Fangirl/potato, (A very obsessed fangirl!), etc. Antonyms: Normal."_

Tam: Wow... I can't help but think that "sane" might be sarcasm.

Me: No! I'm genuinely sane... *Maniacal laughter*

Linh: *Slowly backing away* ...let's continue...

 _"Fine: (Adj.) Meaning: Probably having a mental breakdown due to the aforementioned sanity, but you know, it's all good. Synonyms: FREAKING OUT!, panicking, squealing, fangirl/potato-ing, etc. Antonyms: Okay, calm, etc._

 _One [True paring]: (Noun) Meaning: Many, many,_ many [ _favorite ships]. Synonyms: Plethora, myriad **(nice!)** , countless, abundant. Antonyms: Singular, No [tp]._

 _Fluff: (Noun) Meaning: Cute fanfiction, usually lighthearted and happy. Synonyms: Elixir of life, medicine, asdfghjkl, etc. Antonyms: Angst._

 _Angst: (Noun) Meaning: A method of self-torture, that is "probably" bad for your health and yet you're addicted. Sad fanfictions. Synonyms: Torture, pain, etc. Antonyms: Fluff, happiness, good life decisions."_

Wylie: I have an idea! Let's make A. Fan read lots of angst!

Me: Great idea- wait...

 _"Expression of opinion: (Noun) Meaning: Providing your opinion on a matter, in such a way that it was probably supposed to be a quick sentence or two but turned into a novel-length essay **(Partial credit to Cary Swirls!)** Synonyms: Essay, rant, book, etc. Antonyms: Sentence, short statement._

 _Homework: (Noun) Meaning: Writing fanfiction. Synonyms: Procrastination. Antonyms: Productivity."_

Sophie: A. Fan, aren't you supposed to be doing homework right now?

Me: *Covers her mouth* No.

 **Hope you enjoyed this beautiful combination of KOTLC reacts and the book of shipping!**


	66. Chapter 65 (Sorry)

**This is the point where I get truly desperate.**

 **...**

 **...**

 **...**

 **You'll see when I tell you what the ship is.**

 **Okay, I'm sorry I disappeared for two months. Truly.**

 **(It's not like you guys _really_ care anyway, XD.)**

 **But yeah, I don't really have much of an excuse.**

 **I don't know. I guess... I've just not really had any motivation.**

 **(Was that grammatically correct? I don't think so. But I'm too lazy to go fix it.)**

 **Anyway, I'll go respond to reviews.**

 **Sophitz Shipper: That's nice. Remind me why I should care?**

 **GIRL AUTHORity: No! You're not bothering me, I love the reviews! But thank you so much for all the compliments!**

 **Sokeefe54335: Lol, me too!**

 **Cary Swirls: Thank you! Ugh, muggles. *Eye roll* Hmm. "Sorry Mom, but since this independent fake-author online said that homework meant reading fanfiction, I'm off the hook!" That'd go over well, I'm sure. Lol, that's BASICALLY my life right now. Ah, the fangirl noises. My personal favorite right now is HHNNNNGGGGGHHHHHHHH! The problem with that one is... I have to write the book of shipping. But lol, thanks!**

 **Country-Fangirl: Of course, of course. Thanks!**

 **Enjoy!**

Me: Hey guys! It's been a while!

Wylie: Ugh, you're back.

Me: Yep!

Linh: Yay! You're back!

Me: Finally, SOMEONE appreciates me!

Dex: Please. You have a whole armada of fans/reviewers. Whereas _I_ am _truly_ underappreciated.

Me: Um... _have you not seen the Dex fangirls?_

Dex: D-Dex... DEX FANGIRLS!?

Me: Yeah, they exist.

Dex: HNGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH ASDFGHJKL I HAVE FANGIRLSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Marella: *Odd coughing noises*

Biana: Boyfriends, am I right?

Me: See, this is why you guys should just all be lesbians!

Sophie: You do realize we can't... like... _choose_ that, right?

Me: Yeah, but I control you, so I _can_ choose that!

Fitz: Okay, that's fair.

Keefe: *Holding notepad* So, that was fourth wall break number... 9348220389472984302788492083092449387483, or something like that.

Marella: Sounds about right.

Me: So, speaking of the LGBTQ+...

Tam: I'm curious to see where this goes.

Me: This is the terrible idea, that I in no way ship, but well...

Wylie: Should I be scared?

Fitz: Yes.

Me: Well, you know how there's an all out war about Sokeefe vs. Sophitz?

Sophie: (Visibly stressed) rEaLLy?! dIdN't KnOw ThAt! ! !

Me: What if the option was neither, but instead...

Linh: *Running through a mental list* Sotam, Wyphie, Solinh, Sophiana... what have we not done?

Me: SOKEEFITZ! A polyamorous relationship between Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz! Or, possibly, a reverse harem because apparently EVERY GUY (and some girls, probably) IN THE ENTIRE FREAKING LOST CITIES HAS A CRUSH ON HER!

Linh: Hey, since it's been a while since our Solinhiana chapter, would you mind defining polyamorous relationships for us - slash - your readers?

Me: Sure! A polyamorous relationship is when three (or more, actually, but Sokeefitz is a threesome) (Don't ask me how I'm using parenthesis in what is supposed to be an actual talking conversation) people are all in a relationship with each other. So it's not so much that Sophie is dating Keefe and separately dating Fitz, or, "cheating" on both of them, but instead Sophie is dating Fitz _and_ Keefe, and Keefe is dating Sophie _and_ Fitz, and Fitz is dating Sophie _and_ Keefe. Does that make sense? Oh, and by the way, I actually did _NOT_ use google for the definition this time! Aren't you guys so proud of me?

Dex: *Sarcastically, rolling eyes* Yes, A. Fan, we're very proud of you.

Me: REALLY!?

Dex: No.

Me: *Lengthy sigh* No on appreciates me.

Dex: I already told you, _I don't want to hear it._

Me: _I ALREADY TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DEX FANGIRLS!_

Dex: I won't believe that until I meet them!

Me: Fine! You also have a Dex fan _boy,_ by the way. *Snaps fingers*

Dex Fanpotato #1: OMG! It's... it's really Dex!

Dex Fanpotato #2: DEX ON THE COVER TWENTY TWENTY!

Dex Fanpotato #3: Oh my mallowmelt... the **** _DIMPLES!****_

Dex Fanpotato #4: DEXPHIE LIVES ONNNNNNNNNN!

Dex Fanpotato #5: Dex, can I have your autograph?

Dex Fanpotato #6: Dex, can I have a gadget that will turn fictional characters real and then into my boyfriends? The first person I'll use it on is you!

(Dex: Um...)

Dex Fanpotato #7: Dex, you are _so_ much better than Wonderboy!

Fitz: Hey!

All Dex Fanpotatos: DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION!

Me: Do you believe me now?

Dex: *Staring at fanpotatos in wonder* Oh my mallowmelt... I'm _appreciated!_

Me: Yes. You are. AND WE WILL GET YOU ON THE COVERRRRRRRR! DEX ON THE COVER 2020!

Linh: Um, should we maybe return to the actual topic of Sokeefitz?

Me: Oh. Yeah. Right. That.

Tam: Isn't that, like, why you dragged us here?

Me: *Sings* Isn't this why we came? Gotta get with you! Girls like girl liiiiiike boys do, nothing new! **(Anyone?)**

Wylie: What the-

Sophie: Oh mallowmelt.

Biana: I'm deaf.

Dex: Is there, like, a dying whale in here?

Me: But anyway, to answer your question, Sir Salty Shadows, I mostly dragged you here 'cause it's been a while and I missed torturing you! Sokeefitz is just because I needed to write my chapter about _something._

Linh: Okay. By the way, your singing isn't really as bad as they're making it seem.

Everyone else: YEAH IT IS.

Me: So, anyway, you guys understood my *** **100% NOT COPIED FROM GOOGLE** *** explanation?

Tam: I love how you so subtly included the "Not copied from Google" part.

Me: CAN WE JUST STAY ON TOPIC FOR MORE THAN LIKE THREE SECONDS!?

Biana: You are aware that you are the ones controlling the conversation-

Keefe: *Muttering* Number 9348220389472984302788492083092449387484...

Biana: -And you, A. Fan, cannot stay on one topic if your life depended on it.

Me: That's definitely true. Actually, you know, one time my friend was so annoyed with my inability to stay on topic that she actually did threaten to kill me. But, if you read Swan Song, you know about my Shady Black Belt Protection Squad ™. Speaking of Swan Song, there should be a new chapter coming soon! I won't spoil anything, but AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dex: That was so obviously fake that it was painful.

Me: Okay, the point is, I switch topics like Sophie switches her feelings for boys. **(Credit to thesirensong for that line! It was too genius not to use.)**

Me: (Yes I am aware that I have two lines in a row) So, anyway, with Sokeefitz, Sophie doesn't **(I typed dies... O.o foreshadowing?)** have to switch feelings! Instead, she can embrace both of them with a lovely polyamorous Sokeefitz ship!

Fitz: Right...

Keefe: ...And I see your point...

Fitz: ...But...

Keefe and Fitz: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SOKEEFITZ MEANS I HAVE TO DATE *Points at other one* **_HIM!?_**

Keefe: My sworn enemy!

Fitz: My rival!

Keefe: My nemesis!

Fitz: My foe!

Keefe: My adversary!

 **Meanwhile, with the girls...**

Sophie: Ugh, why are boys so stupidly competitive?

Biana: *Flashbacks to Diana or Bam?*

Me: *Grinning at them*

My brain: _Kiss, kiss, kiss!_

Sophie and Biana, simultaneously: NO.

My brain: _Wait, did she just read my mind?_

Sophie: Um... did you forget that I was a telepath?

Me: But aren't you not supposed to read other people's minds?

Sophie: Well, you're a human, so your thoughts just naturally invade my head.

Me: But I'm an elf!

Sophie: I hate to break it to you, but you're not.

Me: YES I AM! YES I AM! YES I AM! YES I AM!

Linh: I think now's a good time to stop.

Marella: Probably, yeah.

Me: WAIT!-

Tam: I strike him right between his ribs.

Biana: I walk towards him, but I am ushered away.

Sophie: They row him back across the Hudson.

Tam: I get a drink.

Me: Anyway, we have to do an in-depth discussion of the ship name!

Dex: *Muttering* Oh mallowmelt...

Me: Ship name! Go!

Fitz: I guess the official name is Sokeefitz?

Me: I came up with it, so... yeah! Official!

Keefe: It kind of makes sense though. Like, Sokeefe plus Fitz equals Sokeefitz!

Fitz: Right, but why should _Sokeefe_ come first and _I_ come after? Chronologically, Sophitz came before Sokeefe. So I think the polyamorous ship name should be Sophitzeefe. Agreed?

Sophie: No.

Fitz: Why?

Sophie: Because that sounds disgusting.

Fitz: *Pout*

Keefe: Is she wrong though?

Fitz: *Grumbles*

Keefe: If Sokeefitz really bothers you, we could do Wondersokeefe. Wonderboy plus Sophie plus Keefe.

Fitz: *Sigh* No.

Linh: What about Sokitz?

Marella: No. Sofeefe?

Dex: Maybe, but pronounced out loud it sounds just like Sopheefe, which is just Sophie and Keefe.

Tam: Ooh! I know! Fopheefe!

Me: Oh my mallowmelt, that's beautiful.

Me: Anyway, this concludes our chapter! Fun fact: According to wordcounter-dot-net, Dex's name is the most frequently used word in the chapter, at 41 mentions. This does not include the words "I" (only 42, actually) and "Me" (43) since they are so common in the English language. Dex's name makes up 8% of the chapter! And it is mentioned more than twice as many times as Fitz's. Just your Dex Appreciation Fact ™ of the day!

 **Okay, it's me again, out of the chapter! I hope you enjoyed- obviously it doesn't make up for the two-month hiatus, but hopefully you liked it. I'm not sure when next chapter will be coming, but definitely sooner! How about before my birthday (which is less than a month away)? And anyway, it will be a very special chapter!**

 **Also, my school has a 2+ week break because of coronavirus, so that's great. iT's CoRoNa TiMe!**

 **OH ALSO I TOTALLY FORGOT! HAPPY 25 FAVORITES! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!**

 **Please review!**


	67. Chapter 66

_**Hello, and welcome to this chapter of React to Ships! This is a very special chapter... it will give you a behind the scenes look at A. Fan trying to write!**_

 _ **Bold writing and/or writing in *asterisks* indicate a behind-the-scenes look at what A. Fan thinks she needs to include. For example:**_

Marella: *Blushing* Um... I think you're really great too.

 ***Insert fangirl moment here***

Me: ASDFGHJKL! SOKEEFE! *Pterodactyl screech*

 _ **Got it?**_

 **Great! Let's get started!**

 _ *****_ **Greeting** _ *****_ **Hello! It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry. Even with coronavirus, I haven't really had much motivation.**

 **Let's see... do I have anything interesting to put here? No? Okay. Time to respond to reviews!**

 _ **I copy and paste the reviews, type a response, then delete the original review.**_

 **R: Ouch indeed.**

 **Sarcasticsnark13: Ch. 64- Yes I am! That may be true, but online I can show only the good parts of myself. SO I WILL KEEP THINKING THE THOUGHTS! Thank you so much though. Ch. 65- Lol, yeah. You can? I don't think Shannon Messenger will include enough diversity to do (gasp) a PoLyAmOrUs ShIp! Yay! Obsession! Yay! Dover! Thanks again! ~A. Fan AKA Carrot!**

 **Marina: Whatever works! Lol thanks.**

 **Swiftheart1267: Um... thanks for sharing your opinion, I guess? Idk why this is relevant but OH WELL!**

 **Harryscuzin: Yay! Thanks! My break may be extended! O.o The song lyric is from Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko- you should check it out! Girls/Girls/Boys is good too!**

 **Country-Fangirl: It's not spring break. It's corona break. I'm in quarantine. i HaVe WaY tOo MuCh FrEe TiMe! That is true. Hey, did you know-**

 **Cary Swirls: Lol thanks! Don't worry, I think the big head award belongs to Fitz. (And Keefe, though Keefe only pretends to have a big head most of the time to cover up the fact that hE hAs So MaNy SeLf-DePrIcAtInG tHoUgHtS aNd He JuSt NeEdS LoVe (from Sophie)) Sorry, didn't mean to go on a rant. Yes. Cinnamon roll. Ooh! Yay! Swan Song! FOPHEEFE! XD. I have a lot of homework, sadly. yEaH, wHaT aM i GoInG tO fOrGeT! It's been two weeks and I still remember that 1 plus 1 equals 87! *Crickets* Okay bye! : )**

 **IStillHopeForSophex: I've actually never met any Dex fanboys (other than you). I actually don't know any KOTLC fanboys offline. Probably because there are only like three KOTLC fanpotatos in my school. Myself included. Thanks!**

 **FlowerGirl15: Lol. GO DEX! I hope he's on the cover of Unlocked but tbh that's unlikely. (Sobs).**

 **Great, that's it! Onto the chapter!**

 **Enjoy!**

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Me: Hey guys!

 **All of the characters have to "greet" me! How about we start with an insult from Wylie?**

Wylie: Back so soon? I was hoping you'd take another hiatus. Maybe for... I don't know... a few hundred years?

Me: You know my life expectancy is about 100 at most, right?

Wylie: Exactly.

Me: HEY! How about the rest of you? Are you glad to see me?

 **You know, Tam hates me too...**

Tam: No.

Me: HEY!

Tam: You _asked._

Me: How about someone who _doesn't_ hate me?

 **Time to bring in Chandelier Head!**

Fitz: Wait, people like that exist?

 **Demolish fourth wall.**

Me: It's not like you exist either.

Keefe: What number was that? Never mind, I can't count that high. Let's just go with infinity.

 **Make an obscure reference...**

Me: bUt SoMe InFinItIeS aRe BiGgEr ThAn OtHeR iNfInItIeS!

Dex: What?

 **Now, to promote the fandom of the obscure reference...**

Me: The Fault in Our Stars, you uncultured swine.

 **I need a Nice Linh comment!**

Linh, quietly: I don't hate her.

Me: SEE! I have fans!

Linh: I wouldn't say I'm a _fan,_ but I don't hate you.

Me: I- I do have fans though, right?

*Crickets*

 **Let's bring in the Swan Song crowd!**

Crowd: You really, really don't.

Me: OH GREAT, NOW YOU'RE IN MY OTHER STORIES!?

Crowd: Unfortunately.

 **Who do we have left? Um, how about Biana? And we do need to get on topic eventually.**

Biana: So, what's the ship?

Me: Glad you asked! We're doing another react to Sokeefe!

 **Are they seriously reacting to the react topic?**

Fitz: Ew! But wasn't that, like, chapter one?

 **Explain.**

Me: Yeah. But I'm doing a behind-the-scenes chapter, and I wanted an easy ship to react to! And it's not like we talk much about the ship anyway.

Tam: What's behind the scenes of KOTLC React to Ships?

 **Add another funny/offensive comment from Sir Salty Shadows.**

Tam: A bunch of monkeys typing at a keyboard, complete-works-of-Shakespeare style?

 **Wylie, naturally, would add on to the insult.**

Wylie: Nah, monkeys couldn't come up with stuff this stupid.

Tam and Wylie: *High five*

Sophie: Look at that bromance.

Linh: Well, they'll probably become brothers-in-law at some point.

 **Fangirling time!**

Me: *Eyes widening*

Marella: Linh!

Me: *Maniacal grinning*

Biana: Why would you say such a thing?

Me: *Hyperventilation*

Sophie: In front of _her?_

Me: *Inhales*...

ASDFGHJKLHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGLWORUEWILFADSKJFJADSOFSHILKJFASDLIKJASDFGHJKLOWEURSKJFDNLDOQ#$*# (RWUEIQJKEALDAFSVFOGLKTHERQ$JBNGFHYUJIO8765TYU21IO3PEWKLJJJJJJJFIUOWLQ90WIEKJLOIADPWFASDFGHJKLOIWUERSDKJFNMDPSKO-239UEIJKAS;LDFDGIRYEAWW9ERUFIDSKJAKWHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG _LYLIEFORTHEWINHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

Linh: Are... are you okay?

Me: NO! Do you know how hard that was to do in one breath? I miss having Glitterbutt23 around to fangirl with me.

 **Gotta keep it on topic somehow...**

Keefe: So, are we going to react to Sokeefe?

Me: Duh! Three, two, one, REACT!

 **I'm starting with Fitzipoo- to get the negativity out of the way.**

Fitz: Sokeefe? Blargh. Sophitz forever, definitely.

Me: Um... guess it's your opinion. But in this story, _Sokeefe is canon._

 **Sophie and Keefe need to react to their own ship!**

Sophie: Really? That's great! I'm so glad- in the real books, I have to do this "I still like Fitz" thing, and then the character development and realizing feelings and sorting out love triangles is _painfully_ slow!

Keefe: Well, since we're reacting... and I think actions speak louder than words...

*Keefe and Sophie kiss*

Fitz: EW!

Me: *Grabbing popcorn* _I SHIP._ Anyway, while they're making out, how about the rest of you react?

 **Yay! I get to rant about Sokeefe! Try to include all my reasons over here... well no, they wouldn't fit. Most of my reasons.**

Biana: Oh, I totally ship it! It's just... they're so _perfect_ for each other! Keefe's humor balances out Sophie's anxiety, and she can keep him from doing _exceptionally_ stupid stuff. Plus, with the head versus heart theory? How could they _not_ get together!

Linh: And the moments they have are seriously so sweet! I mean, like, the paintings? I think all the fangirls were screaming at that part. The window sleepovers? The The way they comfort each other? Plus, it's not just the heavy scenes- the cute fluffy teasing stuff is great too!

Marella: I'm sorry, Linh, did you forget the E. L. Fudges bit? Seriously?

Linh: Yeah, that was pretty great.

Dex: What about the Keefe short story? That was pretty good too.

Tam: I think the concept of shipping is kind of dumb, because you're so alone that you have to feed off of fictional people's love to survive, but if I had to choose something to ship, Sokeefe would be it.

Biana: Um, what about Bam?

 **Cute ship comment for Bam because Bam is cute**

Tam: I don't care if other people think I should be with you or if you should be with Dex or if one of us should be with Keefe or whatever. I don't care if people write fanfiction about us or draw fanart. I don't care if people yell "BAM! IT'S TIANA!" at random intervals. I don't give a sparkly alicorn poo what other people think about us dating, because the only important thing is that _I_ love you.

Biana: *Blushing* Oh my gosh... that was so sweet!

 **Ahh! I need something funny to save me from suffocating in fluff!**

Linh: *Filming Tam's speech* Heh. Look at that. Tam being sweet. Heh. Blackmail.

Dex: Wow, Linh has an evil side.

 **Hmm, evil Linh would be fun to add on to! A lot of humor in that!**

Linh: *Stroking Princess Purryfins like that obligatory cat for evil geniuses* Oh really?

Dex: I'm a little scared.

Linh: As you should be.

 **Hmm. It's been a while since I said something! I need to say something! It's _my_ fanfiction! **

Me: Hey, look at that! I managed to write an entire Sokeefe rant without saying anything negative about opposing ships! And then I added cute Bam stuff without bringing up the Diana/Bam ship war! Isn't that the kind of healthy, bashing free environment we want in our Keepers community? *Puts arm around nameless/faceless Sophitz shipper*

Nameless, faceless, Sophitz shipper: *Moves away from arm, shoves me into wall*

 **How would the group react to that?**

Tam: *Snickers*

Wylie: *Outright laughs*

Linh: Oh my gosh! A. Fan, are you okay?

Sophie: BAHAHAHAHA- I mean. Um. You good?

Me: Yeah, yeah. I'm a black belt. Takes more than that to hurt me!

 **What should they bring up that _will_ hurt me?**

Tam: I never meant to make it such a mess.

Wylie: I never thought that it would go this far.

(One sobbing mess later)

Me: All I ever do is run. So how do I step in? Step in to the sun... step in to the sun...

Linh: Is she okay?

Me: WORDS FAIL FROM **(don't forget to promote the musical!)** THE GLORY THAT IS DEAR EVAN HANSEN IS REALLY FREAKING SAD, OKAY!?

 **(Iconic/funny DEH line)**

Jared Kleinman: KiNkY!

Me: Wait what?

Me: Also I believe I rated this K+ so please don't mention that word!

 **At this point, it becomes clear that any sort of organization is gone at this point. Time to wrap it up!**

Me: Okay, hopefully you had fun reacting to Sokeefe!

 **Did they have fun?**

Sophie/Keefe: Yeah!

Biana/Linh/Marella: The fangirling was pretty great!

Dex: Sure, I guess. Beats homework.

Wylie: Not really.

Tam: Fun? What's fun?

Fitz: EW! NO! SOKEEFE IS DISGUSTING!

 **Closing line.**

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND, _CUT_!

 **Wow, I wrote a whole behind-the-scenes chapter! Hopefully you enjoyed seeing a little bit of what goes on in my head. I doubt anyone will ever know the full extent of what happens in there- even I don't- but this was fun to write!**

 _ **Any announcements?**_

 **I also may replace the initial Sokeefe chapter (Ch. 1) with an edited version of this. The first one is honestly just various versions of ASDFGHJKL. So... yeah. Let me know if you think I should do that.**

 **Also! I am writing my first and only love triangle for Swan Song. Sophie may end up making a pros/cons list, so please give me one or two pros and cons for each in the reviews!**

 **Please go vote on the kind-of-dead Iggy color poll!**

 _ **Did this fanfic reach any milestones recently? No? Darn. Well, time for my trademark closing line:**_

 **Please review!**


	68. Chapter 67

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEE!**

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEE!**

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR A. FAAAAAN!**

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEE!**

 **YAY! TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! I am now...**

 **A number higher than I was yesterday.**

 **Lol, like I'm revealing my age!**

 **Anyway...**

 **So many reviews to respond to! O.o**

 **Minute Diehard Fan: That's a popular debate. Their age gap is only four years, (16 and 20) so while it may be a bit weird right now, even if it's not completely messed up, if they waited a few years, it wouldn't really be significant. Plus, it's not illegal if they're close enough in age and they're just dating- doing things I cannot speak the name of is what's against the law. Thanks for bringing this up though!**

 **Guest: (Hopefully you're all the same person. If not, it's your fault for not including a name.): (Ch. 4) Thanks! (Ch. 6) Hamilton forever! (Pretty much all other guests) Thanks!**

 **DAT PERSON: Lol yes.**

 **Country-Fangirl: Lol. *Thinks of TFIOS* *Starts crying* Thanks a lot.**

 **Harryscuzin: Musicals are fun! I'm glad you liked seeing what goes on in my head. GIRLS LIKE GIRLS IS GLORIOUS! DID YOU LIKE IT?! YOU BETTER!**

 **R: Yeah, it's sad. But thank you! And XD I love it!**

 **KotlcForeverandever: Thank you so much for everything! :D**

 **Sarcasticsnark13: Thank you so much! But really, I have no idea. Team Foster-Keefe will always be cooler!**

 **Cary: Thanks! SOKEEFE! BAM! DARK LINH! AHHH! Good riddance for that Sophitz shipper. Thanks for all your help with Swan Song!**

 **MidnightBunnyy: Iggy poll closed, rainbow wins! Lol, true.**

 **FlowerGirl15: That's how all my chapters are written. KEEEEEEEEEFE! That's okay, we know Fitz has no shortage of cons! And eW cOgNaTeS! Lol. Thinking capacity in the negatives. Thanks!**

 **Okay, so, for this chapter, it's not a reaction- it's a song about being a fangirl entitled "Captain of the Ship!" It's to the tune of Master of the House from Les Miserables. If you don't know what that is... (1) Go watch Les Mis, and (2) You can probably still read it! The song should be on youtube if you'd rather listen to it first. On that note, enjoy!**

...

 **[ME]**

Website of fics, references no one gets,  
My cliffhangers, always earning me death threats.  
My fandom friends (no, no, no no writer's block!)  
Spend their lives in fiction  
New fanpotatos coming in  
We wait for the next book  
And for foreshadowing we look!

Welcome, Fangirl, please read my fic.  
And see the book I wrote to predict!  
As for the rest, all of them great:  
Driving me nuts until they update.  
Often do you see  
Obsessed fans like me  
A fan who always fangirls  
Who loves her OTP...

Captain of the ship, feeling all the feels.  
Ready with some feedback and a lot of squeals.  
Tells a fluffy tale, cries over some angst.  
Whenever someone reviews, she tells them "Thanks!"  
Glad to be a fanfic author  
Doesn't cost you to review.  
Reviewing gets you updates  
Cliffhangers are coming, thought you knew!

Captain of the ship, As-de-fug-ji-kle  
Ready to relieve you of the bad ships- dull!  
Writer's block attacks, postponing the update.  
Reading all the gay fluff when I can't see straight!  
Everybody loves the oneshots!  
Everybody loves the fluff!  
I read whatever's written,  
Seriously, I can never get enough

Captain of the ship, a million OTP's  
One? What a joke, a thousand at least!  
Writing with a plot, ALWAYS NEED A PLAN!  
Writing next book predictions, a lifelong fan!  
Everybody's favorite author,  
(Everybody but the Crowd...)  
This fanfictions amazing, read it-  
Wow! This fangirling is super loud!

Insane beyond compare  
Obsessed beyond belief  
Everyone's scared when they  
Hear us pterodactyl screech!  
Here's a crossover, wow this ship is nice,  
Fangirling over this is sure to be my demise!  
New fans are more than welcome  
Insane asylum occupied  
Unreasonable ship wars  
Come on, cheer for our ship with pride!

 **[Background singer]**

(Go, [Insert ship!])

 **[Me]**

Contrary to belief, my writing isn't bad.  
Come on, tell me you enjoyed it just a tad! (Please review.)  
Here a little cliff, hanging off the edge  
Don't kill me, you're my fans! Or so you said.  
When it comes to writing fanfics  
There are a lot of tricks I know,  
How it all increases, all those views and favorites  
Wow! It's amazing how it grows!

 **[Crowd (playing the wife)]**

I used to dream that fanfictions made sense,  
But Author Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?

Captain of the ship? Fics aren't worth my time!  
If she wrote a book it shouldn't cost a dime!  
Doesn't have brain, terrible grammar.  
Thinks she's quite an author but no talent there!  
What a cruel trick of fanfiction landed me in this trash,  
Who knows how I've lasted living with this author in those drafts!

 **[All except Crowd]**

Captain of the ship!

 **[Crowd]**

Captain of the trash!

 **[All except Crowd]**

Great fanfiction author-

 **[Crowd]**

Don't make me laugh!

 **[All except Crowd]**

Savior of the fans, author of the best!

 **[Crowd]**

Please, reading her writing makes me depressed!

 **[All except Crowd]**

Everybody praise the captain!

 **[Crowd]**

Everybody praise the Crowd!

 **[All except Crowd]**

Everybody pterodactyl screech!

 **[Crowd]**

Why are you fangirls so loud?

 **[All except Crowd]**

Everybody please review to the Captain of the ship!


	69. Chapter 68

**Quick huzzah for 600 reviews and 25 follows!**

 **I have been COMPLETELY ignoring this story, I'm sorry. :/ I've mostly been focusing on writing actual prose stories, with like, plots. Those will probably take priority, but this will always be the story that actually got me "famous" on FanFiction, and I love it too much to ever actually give it up, despite me running low on ideas. Again, I'm very sorry.**

 **Teamsokeefe4EVA: Sorry! She had like one line... I dexed her, lol. It's hard to include all of the "side characters" when I have a lot of them, sorry! She _is_ awesome, though.**

 **Harryscuzin: Cool! Glad you're reviewing this time! But anyway, thanks! Maybe!**

 **R: Aw, thank you! Do you want to know my secret? *Whispers* RhymeZone-dot-com! Lol. But thanks!**

 **Sarcasticsnark13: Thank you! (RhymeZone-dot-com), and you too!**

 **Swiftheart1267 (Ch 50): I can try! :)**

 **Swiftheart1267 (Ch 44): It's awesome, right! FITZ VACKER THE RITZ CRACKER! Lol. PS: Thank you so much! PPS: We don't talk to each other much, but if I get the chance to, I will! She totally is awesome though!**

 **Country-Fangirl: OMG DON'T DIE OKAY! Lol. But thank you so much!**

 **MakandCheese907: Thanks for the suggestion! In case you couldn't tell, I'm totally not running out of ideas for anything... hehehe... thanks!**

 **Bookie (Ch 15): Thanks!**

 **Bookie (Ch 14): Again, thanks, and Bam! IT'S TIANA!**

 **MidnightBunnyy: Thanks! You too, although it probably is quite late. *High fives for quarantined birthdays!***

 **KotlcForeverandever: Yay! Okay, but thank you so much!**

 **Here's a fun idea: Wylie x Crowd.**

Wylie: Okay, first of all, what the _mallowmelt?_

Me: Oh! Almost forgot! I have to make the crowd a character here. *Snaps fingers*

Crowd: Ugh! How dare you! I was just about to fight GT to the death over a piece of mallowmelt!

Me: Yeah, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until next chapter of The Abyss Of Author Hating to do that.

Keefe: Can someone please explain what's going on here?

Sophie: I never know what's going on here anymore.

Keefe: Touche.

Linh: Oh! A. Fan! You're back! I missed you.

Crowd: She _missed_ A. Fan? Who is this fool?

*Wylie and I both attack the Crowd with baseball bats. We look at each other for a second, like we can't believe we're on the same side*

Me: *Each word is a strike* LINH! IS! NOT! A! FOOL! SHE! IS! A! PRECIOUS! CINNAMON! ROLL!

Dex: I thought I was the cinnamon roll.

Me: *Still hitting Crowd* YOU! CAN! BOTH! BE! CINNAMON! ROLLS!

Wylie: LINH IS MY GIRLFRIEND! AND EVEN THOUGH SHE WANTS TO BE NICE TO A. FAN FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON, PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD, I STILL LOVE HER!

Crowd: Oh. In that case, my apologies. To Wylie and Linh. Not to A. Fan.

Crowd: Also, medic...

Elwin: Hello! I have been summoned! What happened? Did Sophie almost die again?

Biana: Surprisingly enough, n-

Sophie: *Trips over thin air, breaks leg*

Biana: Never mind then.

Tam: Everyone is shocked, I'm sure.

Elwin: *Gives Sophie elixir* Drink this.

Sophie: Thanks!

Elwin: Now, for the crowd... were you two hitting them with baseball bats again?

Me: *Makes attempt to hide bat behind self, which is funny because it's six feet long and I'm only 5'2"* NooooooOoooooooOooooOOOOOOO...

Wylie: *Holds it threateningly* YES! BECAUSE THEY INSULTED LINH! NO ONE INSULTS LINH AND SURVIVES!

Fitz: What if Linh insults herself?

Linh: Why would I do that?

Me: Yeah. Normal people don't insult themselves on a regular basis! Only insane people do.

Tam: Like you?

Me: Yes, exactly! And the insanest- most insane?- superlative-form-of-insane people create personified crowds to mock them mercilessly! Not that I would know anything about that, of course. *Nervous laughter*

Biana: Wait, you created the crowd?

Me: Yes! Unlike you guys, who come from Shannon Messenger's imagination, the crowd is 100% my own self deprecating thoughts! *Gets dreamy look in eyes* It all started in Swan Song's preface... where no one applauded the fact that I'd be writing a book nine prediction. When I continued begging for applause, someone threw rotten fruit at me. Then, in chapter two, the crowd reappeared to tell me to disappear again, with a name this time! I named them 'Crowd.' And that is how this crowd came into being... insulting me ever since December 13, 2019...

Tam: Who wants to bet that she had to go back and check that?

Me: ...shut up.

Wylie: A number of lusters equivalent to the number of fourth wall breaks in this fanfiction.

Me: Look, guys, I get that you have an unlimited birth fund and everything, but still, I don't think you have enough money to do that.

Dex: Um... but that's an infinite amount of money.

Me: sOmE iNfInItIeS aRe BiGgEr ThAn OtHeR iNfInItIeS! ! !

Sophie: Oh my mallowmelt! I love that book!

Biana: What book?

Me: Oh, I'm surprised you haven't read it. Sophie, shouldn't you be introducing the elves to human literature? I'm ashamed. At least we did show them Hamilton... Anyway, I think Wylie should also read The Fault In Our Stars!

Sophie: Okay, that's just mean.

Marella: Can you guys stop it with the obscure human references?

Me: No! The references will continue _FOR FOREVER!_ **(A/N: Anyone? Dear Evan Hansen? It's brilliant. Go listen to it right after you finish this chapter.)**

Sophie: A. Fan, really. Listen to Marella. We don't want to make her feel like she's _WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW._

Crowd: I wish you would _DISAPPEAR._

Me: ...nice contribution. _WORDS FAIL_ to describe how proud I am that you're a DEH fan!

Wylie: *Throws baseball glove at me*

Me: Another nice contribution. But did that even make a sound?

Tam: Okay, seriously. This is supposed to be a KOTLC fanfiction. Please stop making references to fandoms no one else is in.

Me: HEY! THE DEH FANDOM IS BIG! AND GLORIOUS!

Tam: Yeah, but it's not the KOTLC fandom. So stop singing it and continue with the react.

Biana: Wow, Tam, I've never heard you be _enthusiastic_ about these things before.

Tam: I just want to get it over with.

Linh: No you don't!

Tam: Um-

Linh: You secretly love these things!

Tam: Ew. No.

Linh: The reacts are fun for you!

Tam: Blargh!

Linh: You always come here secretly hoping that A. Fan will write a ton of Bam fluff!

Tam: N-

Keefe: That's a secret?

Biana: Awww! That's so sweet!

Me: *Holding notepad and pen* (Yes, once again, I am aware that this is a chromebook, but pen/paper is much more iconic for a writer) Does this count as my Bam fluff?

Marella: Yeah, probab-

Tam: Nope! Write more!

Linh: Awwwwww!

Tam: Biana, would you like to ditch the react and go on a date with me?

Me: Wait, what? I did not agree to th-

Biana: *Talking over me* I would love to! Can we go shopping?

Tam: I hate shopping.

Biana: Oh.

Tam: That being said, I will agree to this only if we can make a quick stop at the hair product store. I need to re-dye my bangs.

Biana: Yay! Oh my mallowmelt, the ***bangs*** are so hot!

Keefe: Pfft. Tam's bangs are honestly so ugly. I hate them.

Sophie: Keefe... are you... blushing...?

Keefe: NO!

Linh: His face is totally red.

Keefe: NO IT ISN'T!

Dex: Do you secretly like Tam's bangs?

Keefe: NO!

Tam: Of course you like them. The ***bangs*** are so much better than your ridiculous hair!

Biana: Tam... you're blushing too...

Me: *Visibly distraught* OH MY MALLOWMELT JUST KISS ALREADY!

Sophie and Biana, at the same time: But I'm dating-

Sophie: Keefe [same time] Biana: Tam.

Me: Meh, just date each other.

Marella: But-

Me: LOOK I READ A LOT OF KAM CONTENT YESTERDAY AND I'M IN A VERY KAMMY MOOD.

Wylie: YOU CHOSE SOKEEFE. YOU CHOSE BAM. NOW DEAL WITH IT.

Me: One- one Kam meme?

Entire universe: No.

Me: Great!

 _"Keefe: I noticed that we have slowly started to erase the 'B' out of 'Bromance'._

 _Tam: *Down on one knee, literally holding out the ring* Oh really? I hadn't rEALIZED THAT AT ALL."_

Me: Beautiful, beautiful. Thanks, miyuthefangirl! Alright, you two can go on your date now.

Wylie: Are you aware that this is nearly a thousand words and we haven't even reacted to me plus Crowd?

Me: Oh shoot, you're right. Tam and Biana, stay here for now. Um, ship name!

Marella: Wowd? Crylie? Wylowd? They all suck.

Wylie and Crowd, together: Just like A. Fan.

Me: OH MY MALLOWMELT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE!

Linh: But what about me?

Me: You can date Marella.

Dex: But what about-

Me: Fitz.

*All heads turn towards Fitz*

Me: Not in this universe. Ah, multishipping. Okay, three, two, one, react!

Wylie: Well, it's not a great ship, but by A. Fan standards, it's not bad. At least I'd have someone to insult you with for eternity. But of course I'd never want to leave Linh.

Linh: Well, I'm happy dating Wylie, but I think Wylie would be happy with the crowd, so if that's what he wanted, I'd be sad, but I'd ship it.

Tam: The ship is disgusting. Just like you.

Me: *Takes pen and paper* ...Threesome...

Marella: WOWDAM! Ew. Anyway, I think Wylie plus Crowd is a perfect match! They have so much in common.

Dex: Marella said it.

Keefe: They were meant to be! Quite literally. Both of them pretty much just exist in this story, or in others, to insult A. Fan.

Sophie: I'm still confused. Is the crowd, like, one person named "Crowd," or a group of people, and if they're a group of people, how exactly does that...

Me: ...

Sophie: A. Fan?

Me: LALALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Wylie: Very mature.

Tam: And intelligent.

Dex: Wait, where's the crowd?

Me: Um-

Dex: YOU DEXED THE CROWD!?

Fitz: That's a verb now?

Me: You dexed the dex verb. Anyway, the crowd's time was up, they had to return to the abyss.

Fitz: This seems like a pretty good place to end the chapter.

 **I always forget how much fun this is to write. See, this is why I could never abandon the story! Anyway, I'm working on a KOTLC song parody for them to react to. It's to the tune of the Ten Duel Commandments- and that's all I'm telling you! Again, I am very sorry about constantly neglecting this, but I will try to update at least once or twice a month. *Flashbacks to last year when I actually updated once a week* *Flashbacks to a year and a half ago when I updated nearly every day* Um...**

 **But most of my focus is on Swan Song, so be sure to check that out! And IStillHopeForSophex (go read his stuff!) and I have been working on a crossover story between the Crowd and his GT, who is a lot like the crowd. It's on his account, entitled "The Abyss of Author Hating."**

 **...I'm great at self promotion. Anyway, please review!**


	70. Chapter 69

**What's this? A decently fast update? Impossible!**

 **But the amazing MidnightBunnyy gave me a list of ships (actual ships!) that I haven't done yet, and for that, this chapter is dedicated to her. Thanks, MidnightBunnyy!**

 **27gutzwillriley (ch 27): No.**

 **27gutzwillriley (Ch 14): XD, indeed.**

 **27gutzwillriley (9): Read on, she might.**

 **27gutzwillriley (Ch 7): Thank you, I ship it too.**

 **27gutzwillriley (Ch 1): Yep!**

 **GIRL AUTHORity (ch 69): Thank you!**

 **GIRL AUTHORity (ch 6): Hamilton forever! All it takes is a ton of self obsession and enough apathy to depict yourself horribly!**

 **Bookhawks: Uh... sorry?**

 **Ilikethemsalty: Thanks! It is. And yes, Keefe better leave denial land! It is pretty great.**

 **Lucyyy: Thanks!**

 **MidnightBunyy: (Ch 66) Well, he did have five words. Yep, hopefully the intermission fixed it. Thanks! ARGH YES YOU STUPID PIXELATED WEBSITE!**

 **KotlcExpert521: Absolutely not- DUDE I'M PROUD OF YOU, JUST KEEP PUSHING THROUGH!**

 **Guest: (ch 3) :/**

 **Guest: (Ch 69) Yay! Great! That would be pretty funny, I think I actually wrote something like that!**

 **MidnightBunnyy (Ch 69): Very, very good. (Me too, honestly. Multishipping forever!) Defintely! (I do read Wanderling, actually). Hmm, that's what I thought, but I agree with you. Thanks!**

 **The-Vegginonymous-Potato: Amazing!**

 **KotlcForeverandever: Thanks! Good idea!**

 **And, without further ado, into the chapter!**

Me: Hi guys!

Wylie: Oh, you again. I was hoping for another six month hiatus.

Me: That wasn't even for this story! That was for KOTLC reads KOTLC- go read it, guys!

Tam: There's a line between pathetic and even more pathetic, and I'm afraid-

Me: I just crossed it?

Tam: No, you crossed it a while ago. Just now, you made it to "inhumanly pathetic."

Me: Oh... wow... thanks. Anyway, I have someone for you guys to meet! A longtime supporter of the story, and a writer of her own KOTLC (and PJO) react, you guys know her in another universe, please welcome... MidnightBunnyy!

MidnightBunnyy: Hello!

Fitz: What kind of name is MidnightBunnyy?

MidnightBunnyy: An awesome one, you undignified swine

Me: Besides, your name is Ritzroy.

Fitz: Um, don't you mean Fitzro-

Me: I know what I said, Ritzroy. Your name is Ritzroy Savory Cracker.

Fitz: It's FITZROY AVERY VACKER!

MidnightBunnyy: Hey, stop arguing with A. Fan. She knows your real name.

Ritzroy: But-

Dex: Hey, ever gonna stop dexing the rest of us?

Me: Well, Sophie could honestly do with a little dexing every now and then.

Keefe: Hey, that was rude!

Me: Well, she does dex everyone except Fitz and Keefe when in canon.

Marella: Yeah, but I'm already dexed enough in the real series!

Me: Okay, Marella, since you're underappreciated, I'll do all of the Marella ships from the list. Does that sound good?

Marella: Okay!

MidnightBunnyy: Disclaimer- the list might not be 100% accurate.

Me: And I'm too lazy to go back and check, so I'm just going with what MidnightBunnyy said-

MidnightBunnyy: -Because I am obviously a genius-

Me: First up, a personal favorite of mine... MARELLINH!Wylie: NO!

Me, MidnightBunnyy: YES!

Wylie: I THOUGHT YOU SHIPPED LYLIE!

Me: BUT I ALSO SHIP MARELLINH!

Wylie: ALSO, WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH CAPS LOCK?

Me: I DON'T KNOW! MY CHROMEBOOK DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A CAPS LOCK BUTTON! I'M JUST HOLDING DOWN SHIFT!

MidnightBunnyy: THAT IS TRUE DEDICATION TO THE WAYS OF CAPS LOCK!

Me: THANK YOU!

Linh: ARE WE GOING TO ACTUALLY REACT?

Biana: LINH WITH CAPS LOCK DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT.

Sophie: ALSO, WE PROBABLY SHOULD START REACTING.

Dex: AND STOP USING CAPS LOCK.

Me: FINE.

Dex: UM...

Me: Fine. Okay. Marellinh, react, go!

MidnightBunnyy: I love it! It's one of my ATPs.

Fitz: ATP?

MidnightBunnyy: OTP for people who have more than one, you undignified swine.

Fitz: Can you stop calling me that?

MidnightBunnyy: No, you undignified swine.

Me: Back to the react.

Wylie: I hate it!

Me: Yes, that's been established.

Wylie: I also hate you!

Me: That's been established as well.

Wylie: Right, but I hate you so much that I feel the need to keep repeating it!

Me: Wow, thanks.

Tam: You probably deserve that much hate, though.

Me: _Wow, thanks._ Anyway, what do you think of Marellinh?

Tam: Hmm. It does sort of make sense.

Me: High praise, coming from Tam.

Tam: Yeah, true. What does Biana think?

Marella: Do I sense Bam?

Biana: Probably! Anyway, I think Marellinh is totally cute- the fact that they both know what it's like to struggle with their abilities gives them the ability to connect in a really deep way!

Sophie: Plus, they're just cute.

Biana: Well, that too.

Dex: I actually kind of like their opposites attract dynamic- both with the fire and water, and with their personality.

Fitz: And with how much they've been training, there might even be a chance- a tiny chance, sure, but higher than all of the other gay ships.

MidnightBunnyy: I mean, yeah, but odds are Shannon isn't going to include any LGBTQ repre- Hey, wait a second-

Me: RITZROY, DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING INTELLIGENT? SUPPORTING A GOOD SHIP? I'm so confused... I thought you shippped all the bad ships... what?

Fitz: Maybe I got sick of all the bashing.

Me: Okay, less bashing. Though honestly, at this point, I bash myself more than I bash you.

Wylie: That's true, you brainless moron.

Me: mAYBE I'M BRAINLESS, MAYBE I'M WISE, BUT YOU'VE GOT ME SEEING THROUGH DIFFERENT EYES! SOMEHOW I'VE FALLEN UNDER YOUR SPELL, AND SOMEHOW I'M FEELING, IT'S UP THAT I FELLLLLLLLL!

Sophie: Wicked?

Me: Yep!

Marella: Also, are you singing "As long as you're mine" to mallowmelt?

Me: Look, mallowmelt is my one true love, okay? And speaking of one true loves, what do you think of Marellinh?

Marella: Well... I'm sort of with Dex, but since this is a multishipping story, Marellinh is definitely okay!

Linh: I agree, I love Wylie, but- provided he doesn't kill her- being with Marella would be pretty great too.

Me: Awww. All right, switching gears, how about Marelliana?

Biana: Me and Marella?

Me: Exactly.

Linh: Huh.

Wylie: I like it a lot better than the last one- it doesn't steal Linh away from me!

Me: It's a pretty underrated ship, but I think it's cute! Which is sad, because there's virtually no content. But oh well.

MidnightBunnyy: So, what makes you think that it would be a good ship?

Me: *Clears throat*

Wylie: MidnightBunnyy! You read this garbage, you should know not to get her started!

MidnightBunnyy: Hey, I was genuinely curious!

Me: As you should be. But, since I don't feel like saying all that-

Tam: A. Fan, you're typing.

Me: Fine, I don't want to Dex all the other characters, so I'll say it through them.

Dex: Um... you don't think that sounds a little... creepy?

Me: I'm an author, I'm very creepy. Now Dex, since you volunteered-

Dex: Wait, what?

Me: -how about you start?

Dex: I never agreed to- Okay, so, at the beginning of the series, Marella resents Biana similar to the way Dex hates Wonderboy. Why am I talking about myself in the third person?

A. Fan: Hey, talking about oneself in the third person is considered by A. Fan to be fun. It is Linh's turn to rant about Marelliana.

Linh: Sure. Marella calls Biana "Princess Prettypants" at the beginning, indicating that she definitely thinks Biana is pretty.

Keefe: Marella starts out very boy-crazy, which many intelligent fans believe to be a sign of her repressed lesbianism. And since she claims to like Fitz, there's a good chance that she could secretly have liked Biana instead.

Sophie: And A. Fan is way too lazy to check, but she's pretty sure that their friendship has developed since Nightfall and could easily progress into something more.

MidnightBunnyy: Okay, I think Marelliana is okay, but not ATP.

Me: Good enough! Now, Mareefe!

MidnightBunnyy: Ew!

Tam: Is that... Marella plus Keefe?

Me: Yes.

Fitz: What's the evidence for it?

Me: I'm not entirely sure, really. I think it might have something to do with Keefe being an Empath-

Stina: *Shows up* GUESS WHO'S ALSO AN EMPATH? AND NOT AS OVERRATED AS SOPHIE'S BOYFRIEND!

Me: Was that a confession of love for Marella?

Stina: What?

Me: Another small rant, done through other characters!

Tam: She thinks Stina really has opportunity for a lot of character development- A. Fan will be very disappointed if Shannon doesn't take it. If Stina is developed enough, A. Fan might consider actually liking her as a character, and if so, the ship Stina x Marella- Marina or Stinella- definitely has potential.

MidnightBunnyy: Wait, but I though we were talking about Mareefe, not Stinella.

Me: You've read this though, right?

MidnightBunnyy: Fair point. Continue with your regularly scheduled chapter.

Me: Actually, I was done.

Wylie: Well, if the only evidence is that Keefe's ability might help Marella's mom, I don't really think it's a great ship. No offense to any shippers.

Fitz: Any other Marella ships?

Me: No, I don't think so.

MidnightBunnyy: What about Wylie x Marella?

Dex: Wylella?

Keefe: I actually really like that ship name.

Dex: Thanks. It's not like I have a ton of practice with ship names from being a closeted fanboy or anything, haha, what a crazy idea-

Sophie: What fandom?

Dex: NONE-

Sophie: Dex, what fandom?

Dex: *mumbles* The Lunar Chronicles.

Me: Oh my mallowmelt! You're a fan of the Lunar Chronicles? They're amazing? Have you read Marrisa Meyer's other book, Heartless? IT'S SO GOOD AAAAHHHHHH!

MidnightBunnyy: Are you okay?

Me: No.

MidnightBunnyy: Okay then, back to Wylella.

Wylie: Um, no.

Marella: Nope!

Linh: Not really...

Dex: Nah.

Keefe: Yeah, no.

Sophie: Urgh.

Biana: How about no.

Tam: Definitely not.

Fitz: No.

Me: Okay, and that concludes the Marella ships! I think!

 **Okay, I hope you enjoyed! Please go check out the stories on my other account, Assassin (Dexella) and KOTLC reads KOTLC. And go check out MidnightBunnyy's account and read their stories!**

 **I have an intermission chapter replacing my "ANNOUNCEMENT! VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!" chapter. The reviews have been a little bit thrown off, but are mostly fixed by now.**

 **I think.**

 **Anyway, please review!**


	71. Chapter 70

**Hello! It only took me like two weeks, that's pretty good, right?**

 ***Sigh* Remember when I used to update like every other day? That was over a year ago, almost a year and a half. Wow. But HAHAHAHAHA, THOSE DAYS ARE GONE! NOW WE HAVE ENTERED THE TIME OF INFREQUENT UPDATES AND LONG HIATUSES! BAHAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Okay, quarantine is making me insane. So is stress. But you don't need to hear about my life problems, so I shall now respond to reviews!**

 **MidnightBunnyy: Yes, I imagine it would. It was even before Legacy and Diana/Bam! I first published it in December 2018! XD. So lame it's funny.**

 **JTareadingcat: It's okay, I've gotten death threats before- whining is nothing! Lol. I understand the addiction to fanfics. And I actually write pretty quickly, starting is my problem. I update maybe twice a month, so you were at about the right time to tell me! Thanks for liking my story! :)**

 **Guest (ch 19): Thank you! I understand the struggle. Bam! It's Sokeefe, Dexella, and Fitzelier for the Winh! Lol.**

 **Guest (ch 15): Thanks!**

 **Multishipping101: Yay! I usually say Sokeefe since it's easiest, but my favorite is either Keephie or Team Foster Keefe. :) Too many ship names! Ahh!**

 **Harryscuzin: Thanks! Yeah... I do that too. I think MidnightBunnyy has already done something like that with my help! And I can't wait to watch it! Ahh! And it's "As Long as You're Mine," a love song between Elphaba and Fiyero. I'll look into it! Currently, though, I am obsessed with Rent. _525,600 minutes!_**

 **Country-Fangirl: Thanks! Please do!**

Me: Forgive me, deities of gay KotLC, for I have sinned.

Tam: Who... is... she... talking... to?

Dex: Her fans, maybe?

Wylie: She doesn't have fans.

Sophie: Right, but she's always under the impression that she does.

Me: I AM TALKING TO THE DEITIES OF GAY KOTLC, YOU FOOLS!

Biana: Um... who?

Me: The deities of gay KotLC!

Marella: Yeah, but like... we don't know who they are.

Me: *Dramatic sigh* Fine, you uncultured swines. When reading alliseeissky's fanfiction "Rules, Rumors, and Royalty: A FedEx Story." When I reviewed, I said that Sky had pleased the deities of gay KotLC, and it escalated from there.

All: ...

Keefe: Okay, guys, really. _Nothing_ she says makes sense to us. Let's just ignore her, pretend we know what's going on, and call an insane asylum.

Tam: *Holding phone* *Or Imparter* Done.

Linh: That was fast.

Tam: Trust me, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.

Sophie: Ooookayyy... so why have you sinned to the "deities of gay KotLC"?

Wylie: Is it because all the fanfiction you write for them is crappy?

Me: HEY! MARELLINH IS CANON IN MY STORY "SWAN SONG"! AND SWAN SONG IS GOOD!

Wylie: Um... no it isn't.

Me: My fans agree with me! Ha!

Tam: ...A. Fan, your "fans" send you death threats.

Me: Well, that's only because they're emotionally invested in the story!

Sophie: Okay, anyway, let's get back to the question: How has A. Fan sinned against the deities of gay KotLC?

Me: Because... MidnightBunnyy tells me that... in this fic, I have dexed one of the greatest ships!

Tam: BAM!

Me: No. Well, kind of, because I think I forgot to label the chapter, but no.

Sophie: Um... well, Team Foster Keefe was chapter one, so it's not that.

Marella: Guys, it's obviously a gay ship if she's sinned to the deities of gay KotLC. And it can't have me in it, because that was last chapter.

Keefe: Was it- ergh- Kam?

Me: No, actually, I have done a Kam react! You both run away screaming because this was before I had seen the light of Kam. Maybe I should do another one...

Fitz: Focus, A. Fan!

Dex: Wow, is this Wonderboy's first line of dialogue?

Me: I think.

Biana: Man, you really dexed him.

Me: I did. Keep guessing!

Dex: Is it FedEx?

Me: No! Why do you guys forget all of these chapters! In the FedEx chapter I made a Deck joke, which I then turned into the Desk meme! You ignorant fools!

Linh: Um... Solinh?

Me: No, I think I've done that. It's not really one of my favorite ships, anyway.

*Everyone gasps*

Me: What? I don't care if it's the most popular gay Sophie ship, I WILL NEVER ABANDON MY TRUE SHIP!

Sophie: Which is...

Biana: Sophiana!

Me: YES! And that's the one I forgot the react to! So now I have to make a sacrifice to the deities of gay KotLC.

Fitz: Um... just out of curiosity... what do you have to sacrifice...?

Me: Don't worry, Chandelier Boy, I won't sacrifice you. Maybe I'll sacrifice the chandelier. Hmm...

Fitz: NO! NOT THE CHANDELIER!

Me: Okay, fine. I was actually going to sacrifice one of my own fanfictions.

Wylie: Ooh! Can you sacrifice this one?

Me: That would kill you all.

Linh: Then can you _not_ sacrifice this one?

Me: Sure!

Keefe: What about your terrible PJO oneshots? Can you sacrifice one of those?

Me: *Shakes head* Not gay. Or KotLC. And anyway, I phrased that wrong- I don't destroy a fanfiction in the sacrifice, I write a fanfiction- in this case, a Sophiana fanfiction, and _give_ it to the deities.

Sophie: Ohhhh. That makes... sense?

Keefe: Well...

Sophie: It makes more sense than she usually does.

Fitz: Amendment approved.

Tam: Are we going to talk about how A. Fan has no idea how to spell "amendment"?

Me: Shut up! Okay, we're 700 words in and no one's reacted yet, so GO!

Keefe: Honestly, we all know I am in love with Sophie-

Me: AHHHHHHH ALSDFDLSJFLNVALSDJFPWQURSOGJASDLFJOFUAGSOGJAL!

Keefe: A. Fan you have known this for eight books and I'm sure I've said it already in this fanfiction, so why are you fangirling?

Me: bECAUSE IT'S STILL CUTE!

Keefe: Oooookay... Well, I love Sophie, but if I can't have her, Sophiana is not a bad choice?

Me: (Has recovered) How so?

Keefe: Well, I kind of think the "Girl likes boy. Girl dates boy. Girl breaks up with boy. Girl falls for boy's sister," thing would be really funny, even better than both ends of a love triangle ending up together. Well, that's not funny when it's Feefe. But otherwise-

Biana: *Gasps* Diana or Bam?

Me: DAM! That was an unexpected outcome! Get it?

*Crickets*

Me: OH COME ON, THAT WAS FUNNY! PJO FANDOM, DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT WAS FUNNY?

*More crickets*

Me: *Sighs.* Anyway, Keefe, if you like that better than words can express story trope, you should read "Of Fire and Stars" by Audrey Coulthurst. I think I got her name right. It was amazing! I read it like a year ago and still love it so much! Tam, what do you think of Sophiana?

Tam: OH, COME ON! ANOTHER PERSON FIGHTING FOR BIANA?!

Me: The whole universe should fight for the chance to date Biana. Biana is a queen.

Tam, Dex: True.

Marella: Hey!

Sophie: Okay, but Tam, if you and Biana couldn't be together, or if you were gay for Keefe-

Me: What do you mean, _if?_

Entire universe: Shut up, A. Fan.

Sophie: Would you ship it?

Tam: Fine. If Sokeefe and Bam can't be canon, then I would accept Sophiana/Kam.

Me: WAS THAT A CONFESSION OF LOVE FOR KEEFE!? JSDKFJDSKFJDSAFKSJD!

Fitz: Weren't you fangirling over Team Foster Keefe, like, 300 words ago?

Me: IT'S CALLED MULTISHIPPING, WONDERBOY!

Tam: Anyway, A. Fan, to answer your question, it was not.

Me: Oh. Sophie? Biana? What do you guys think?

Biana: I kinda like it. I prefer being with Tam, but I wouldn't be completely against dating Sophie.

Sophie: Considering I'm shipped with basically everyone in the series, Biana is not anywhere near the worst option.

Me: KSDJFALHFSLAHFAJLJDF just kISS ALREADY!

Dex: Is she... okay...?

Me: *Cheerfully* Nope! Linh, how about you and Wylie react?

Wylie: I hate it. Mostly because you like it.

Linh: You shouldn't choose what you like based off of what someone else likes, especially if your goal is to annoy them! Anyway, I think they would be really cute together, but they should date whoever makes them happy.

Me: Aww, Linh's so nice. How about you, Dex?

Dex: I love it! Mostly because it'd be awesome to see Wonderboy get rejected in favor of his sister?

Me: Do I sense FedEx?

Dex: No... not really.

Me: That's disappointing. Marella?

Marella: YES! I SHIP IT! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Me: *High fives* I'm so glad there's one other intellectual in the group!

Everyone else: Hey!

Me: Okay, you cannot deny that everyone here is kind of a moron.

Wylie: Does that include you?

Me: Yes.

Wylie: Wait, no, you're not _kind of_ a moron- you're _definitely_ a moron!

Me: Aww, thank you! Anyway, I think I got everyone- wait! No! Fitz! Argh, my memory is so terrible!

All: Yes.

Me: Wait, who are you people? Anyway, Fitz, react, go.

Fitz: EW! SOPHIANA SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER _EVER_ HAPPEN!

Me: Okay, _now_ I've gotten everyone's reactions. Deities of gay KOTLC, I hope this chapter was enough to win your forgiveness!

 **Yay! I wrote a chapter! And it was good- okay, I won't go that far.**

 **My Bat Mitzvah is in about eighteen hours, which is terrifying, but oh well. But it will all be over in less than twenty four hours! Huzzah! I'm just trying to convince myself not to panic and survive the day. *Les Miserables starts playing* _One day more..._**

 **Okay, so after that, I'll have a lot of thank you notes- but hopefully, a lot more free time, which _hopefully_ means a lot more updates!**

 ***Crickets, because no one believes me***

 **Okay, maybe not.**

 **Please review!**


	72. Chapter 71

**Today is the first day of June! Can you believe it? I can't. And June is a very special month... but we'll get into that later in the chapter. For now, I must respond to reviews.**

 **ThatOneFangirl: Yay! Marellinh is totally adorable, so is FedEx. Multishipping forever!**

 **Wildcat: I shall! Lol, you're going to like this chapter then... :)**

 **Guest: Pretty sure I've done a Solinhiana chapter.**

 **Country-Fangirl: ? All that came through was a one and a few exclamation points. I blame Fanfiction-dot-net.**

 **JTareadingcat: No problem! I reply to every review I get! Though I wouldn't protest if you made me a shrine... hint hint hint. You are safe from the ninja squad. You don't need to buy tickets to the very expensive play just to be obsessed with it! Plus, it's coming out on Disney Plus next month! Eee! Oh. Sorry. Heh heh. Thank you, stay safe as well! :)**

 **Okay, enjoy!**

Me: HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

Rainbow confetti*

Me: I have something very very special planned... this is the Official Pride Chapter of this react story!

Wylie: Come on, you freak out about gay ships at least once every chapter.

Me: True. But this one especially! So, that means the new "official ships" are-

Dex: What do you mean, official ships?

Me: They'll be official for this chapter, but go back to normal next time.

Tam: Somehow, I'm not convinced that "normal" will ever really happen in this story.

Me: Okay, fair. But you know what I mean.

Sophie: Yeah. So what are our new ships?

Biana: She asks, like we cannot predict them.

Sophie: Biana! Biana, you made me realize that I... I fell for the wrong Vacker. Will you make me the happiest elf in the Lost Cities and be my girlfriend?

Biana: Yes! Of course!

Me: Hang on, quick announcement. I am officially declaring that, as a species, all elves are Pansexual. If you don't know what that means, it's attraction to a person regardless of gender, and you like all genders. Okay, continue with the ship stuff! Dex, it's your turn.

Biana: FedEx? Or Keefex?

Me: Keefex is okay, but...

Dex: You know... Fitz... I've never really hated you. I just pretended I did so that know one would know how much I like you.

Fitz: Well, since I have been officially un-jerk-ified by A. Fan for the sake of FedEx, I like you too.

Me: Awwwwwww. Two ships down, two to go!

Keefe: Um, Bangs Boy, my hatred for you was also to hide my feelings. And I really do like your bangs.

Tam: I did the same thing. And your Hair is _beautiful._

Marella: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Kam!

Biana: You're a fangirl too?

Marella: Yep!

Biana: High five!

Biana and Marella high five.*

Me: Okay, Marella, it's your turn!

Marella: Linh. I love you.

Linh: Aww, I love you too!

Wylie: Wait, what about me?

Me: Well some people ship you with Tam, but Kam. So, no one. I guess... *sigh* that means you can go.

Wylie: Wait, really?

Me: Yes! Now get out of here before I change my mind!

Wylie light leaps away faster than I thought was possible*

Me: Okay, so now we're going to talk about ships!

Tam: Wow, really? In a fanfiction entitled "KOTLC React to Ships"? _No one_ could have ever seen that coming.

Me: Shut up. So, everyone is going to choose their top three gay KOTLC ships. It can include them, but it can't be them and the person their already dating. Biana, go!

Biana: Oh mallowmelt, this is such a tough decision! Um... Kam, Marellinh, and FedEx. The three canon-in-this-fanfiction-for-one-chapter ships that don't include me.

Me: All excellent choices! Sophie, how about you?

Sophie: Well, Marellinh, obviously. And I kind of like Keefex. And Biana is my girlfriend, but if she wasn't, then Marelliana.

Me: Marelliana is very cute, but very _very_ underrated. And Keefex is okay. I don't really ship it, but I have read Keefex fanfics and liked them. Dex?

Dex: Sophiana, obviously. And I also really like Linhiana, so I'm going to do that A. Fan thing where I scream "mULTISHIPINGGGGGG!" And I don't know if I really _ship_ it, but Tam and I have a dam good ship name.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA WE HAVE CORRUPTED DEX TO THE WAYS OF THE RIORDAN NERDS! Okay, Fitz, it's your turn.

Fitz: Unpopular (to A. Fan, popular to everyone else) opinion, I ship Solinh. So I guess also Marelliana. But I do kind of like Marina- Marella plus Stina.

Marella: Huh. I guess it sort of makes sense.

Me: Kind of! Marella, your turn!

Marella: Well, Kam. Kam forever. And Sophiana. And I used to have a crush on Biana, so I guess Marelliana?

Linh: Hmm. I think Kam, FedEx, and I also kind of ship Wam? Wylie and Tam?

Tam: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Me: Let me go get Wylie!

Linh: *Flashbacks to like chapter ten or something.*

Me, returning: Wylie said it wasn't a terrible ship. He also refused to come.

Linh: Okay.

Me: Keefe! ''Tis your turn!

Tam: Okay, who says ' _Tis_ anyway?

Me: I DO.

Tam: Um, okay. Keefe, go ahead.

Keefe: So many ships! Um... Sophiana! Solinh! Keefitz! All perfectly acceptable endings to the love triangle.

Sophie: What about the Team Foster Keefe ending?

Me: Hey, we can't do that in the Pride month chapter! This is about the gay ships!

Sophie: Okay...

Me: Last but not least-

Tam: Right, because _you're_ least.

Me: Hey! Anyway, Tam, go.

Tam: Kam.

Me: But the rules were that you couldn't-

Tam: K A M.

Me: Okay. Fine. And what else?

Tam: **_KAM!_**

Me: Got it. Now, onto the next part of the Pride chapter!

Dex: And that is...?

Me: GAY KOTLC FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS!

Sophie: Um... okay.

Me: Now, everyone who knows me will know that I very frequently self promote my fanfictions. I am shameless in my self promotion.

Tam: True, but so?

Me: Once I finish up with Swan Song, I will be writing a new fanfiction!

Imaginary Fans: Huzzah! What will it be about?

Me: Well, I am only in the planning stage right now, but it will be a fanfiction for the ship of...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Me: ...MARELLINH!

Imaginary Fans: *Cheering*

Me: Thank you, thank you. Now on to other recommendations!

Sophie: Keeper Of The Lost Cities: LGBTQ+ Edition by WolfJade999 is amazing. It started exactly a year ago on the first of last year's pride month, and Jade is planning on ending it today! A. Fan has been obsessed with it from the very beginning and highly recommends it. Plus, if you start now, you won't have to do any waiting for the updates!

Keefe: There's also one called "Is This Supposed To Happen?" by Rain and Shadows. It's about Kam and also about LGBTQ in the Lost Cities. It's got a sequel, but the sequel's been on hiatus for almost a year. Still, the first one is great!

Tam: And another long oneshot called "You're Not More Broken Than Me" by Morpher87. It's also about Kam, because Kam is amazing.

Keefe: Indeed it is, Bangs Boy!

Tam: Don't call me that, Lord Funkyhair.

Marella: Awwwwwwww. Okay, while those two are being cute, I am going to recommend "Rumors, Rules, And Royalty" by alliseeissky. You may remember it from last chapter when I was talking about the deities of gay KOTLC. It's about FedEx! It's not yet finished, but updates are fairly frequent. And it's always worth the wait!

Biana: Teal Blossom by ilikethemsalty is an unfinished Sophiana story. Since there are barely any, this is like a gift to fangirlkind!

Linh: Touch by Mallowmelting is an AMAZING Solinh oneshot! Go read it! _Now_!

Dex: I don't have any recommendations. I'm always too busy reading Lams fanfiction.

Me: Good job.

Fitz: Oh! I have one! Anything by Abubble123!

Me: And that concludes the official Pride Chapter ™ of KOTLC React To Ships! I hope you guys liked it! If anyone has any other gay KOTLC recommendations, please put them in the reviews, and do consider checking out the ones I've recommended! Wait, I'm doing my closing A/N in the actual story. Shoot.

 **HAPPY PRIDE, EVERYONE! ! !**

 **Please review!**


	73. Chapter 72

**Helloooooooo! I'm kinda late but we're just gonna ignore that, great!**

 **Sarcasticsnark13: Thanks! I really hate it too. Like how does it hurt you if two girls like each other? Spoiler alert, IT DOESN'T. You can do what I do, and multiship! It is a dam good ship name, and you'll get more dam puns soon. Solangelo is amazing! Or should I say... amazhang!**

 **rxlinquish (72): Hmm, okay. I don't know what sleep is either...**

 **rxlinquish (19): Oh goodness. Quarantine does suck.**

 **AvengerAt221B: INDEED IT IS! Lams, on the other hand...**

 **Jem: Of course I do! Thanks!**

 **Harryscuzin: Huzzah! Good job! I also ship those other ships, but primarily Lams. Haha, it's a dam funny joke. Thanks!**

 **AvengerAt221B: That's a lot. Okay...  
** **Alden- there is never a reason to worry! How dare you say such a thing!  
** **Wylie- yes, we belong together and far away from this travesty!  
** **Sophie- b-but I have the freaky brown eyes! And no boys could ever want me! Sokeefe would be great, but Keefe doesn't like me in that way.  
** **Dex- not liking Sophex is fine as long as you appreciate me.  
** **Tam- I am indeed pretty cool. I would lay off Keefe if he stopped insulting my ***BANGS***.  
** **Linh- aww, thank you!  
** **Marella- yeah, fire is awesome! And I am totally bada**.  
** **Biana- I am pretty awesome! Thank you for realizing that just because I like makeup and clothes, doesn't make me weak.  
** **Keefe- indeed I am. I am very flattered, but again, my heart belongs to Sophie.  
** **Fitz- b-but Sophie loves me! Right? Who could resist the TEAL EYES!?  
** **Great song! -A. Fan.**

 **Okay, enjoy!**

Me: Hello everyone!

*Crickets*

Me: I said, _HELLO EVERYONE!_

*More crickets*

Me: I think I'm being dexed.

Dex: NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!

Me: Hey! I made you relevant in Swan Song, so why are you blaming me for Shannon's crimes?

Dex: Because I can't blame Shannon.

Me: Fair enough.

Wylie: Because even if she was legally allowed to read fanfiction, she would be too depressed by the terrible quality of this trash to come in it.

Me: That was uncalled for!

Wylie: These last seventy chapters have called for it!

Me: Seventy _one_!

Wylie: That's even worse!

Me: Shut up!

Sophie: I feel like a lot of conversations between Wylie and A. Fan end this way.

Me: Probably! Anyway, are you guys ready for the react?

*Crickets*

Me: OKAY, WHAT IS HAPPENING!? Fine, we're reacting regardless of whether you want to.

Tam: Isn't that what we always do?

Biana: Actually, yes.

Linh: What's the ship?

Me: Well, this chapter is a special chapter. We don't have a _ship_ we're reacting too...

Marella: But isn't this literally called "KOTLC React To Ships"?

Me: Yes, and if you read the description-

Keefe: Number I-can't-actually-count-that-high...

Me: If you read the description, it says "KOTLC React To Ships _and other ship related things._ " We're reacting to a ship related thing.

Sophie: And that is?

Me: Ship names!

*Crickets*

Me: Dam you guys!

Linh: *Gasps* A. Fan! Watch your language!

Me: No, I said "Dam," D-A-M. It's the ship name for Dex and Tam! A Dam good ship name, in my opinion. Now, react! Ignore the ship- all we're talking about is the ship name.

Sophie: Well, that name would make it a little weird in conversation. Like, "oh, I love Dam, Dam is my favorite ship..." that sounds really weird.

Me: *Shrugs* No weirder than when Percy Jackson fans converse.

Fitz: A. Fan, I hate to break it to you, but that's _really weird._

Me: You dam fool! How dare you insult the dam fandom!

Dex: Do you think you're going a little overboard with this Dam thing?

Me: Dam wrong! Now, the rest of you, do the Dam react!

Linh: Okay... um... I don't really like the ship name, because it sounds like you're cursing.

Tam: I love it, for the same reason.

Keefe: I just like the punssssss.

Me: Did you need to add all the s's after pun?

Keefe: Yessssssss.

Sophie: Isn't this a spoken conversation?

Me: Don't you mean a sssssssspoken converssssssation?

Marella: Please stop.

Me: Don't you mean- fine. Are we done reacting to the Dam ship name?

Wylie: I was done with this a long time ago.

Me: Is that a yes?

Wylie: Um, yes.

Me: "Dear Sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health, and in a prosperous enough position to put wealth, in the pockets of people like me, down on their luck. You see, that was my wife you decided to-"

Fitz: Whaaaaaaat?

Me: Hamilton thing, never mind. Okay, next ship name is... Beefe!

Biana: Blech! Is that me plus Keefe?

Me: Yeah, but we're not reacting to ships, just the names. So what do you think of the name?

Marella: Well, because elves are vegetarians and therefore don't eat beef, that means that they would reject Beefe as well, proving that it's not a good ship.

Me: That's more about the ship than the name, but okay.

Dex: Wait, Sophie, have you eaten beef?

Fitz: And has A. Fan?

Me: I've eaten it before, but I've given up red meat.

Sophie: I've... I've eaten it. And it tastes really good.

All: *DRAMATIC GASP*

Linh: But that's eating another animal!

Sophie: It could be way worse! At least I don't eat other humans or anything like that.

Biana: EWW! People do that?

Sophie: Yep, it's called cannibalism.

Me: And it would solve both world hunger and overpopulation!

*Silence*

Me: A guy in my math class said that once.

Dex: Okay, we're way off topic. Next ship name?

Me: Okay, the next ship name is for a ship that I really really like, but that's not important. However, I also happen to love the ship name, and that is... FedEx!

Fitz: I never really got that one, I mean, I don't have an E in my name.

Me: Technically, no, but if you say Fidex, which actually is your name, it sounds pretty similar.

Sophie: And FedEx is a truly amazing ship name because it's the name of an actual shipping company! How perfect is that?

Me: Super perfect! So we're willing to slightly change a letter of your name to achieve that sort of perfection.

Fitz: Ooooooo... kay...

Biana: I like the pun! You can get an E from Vacker?

Tam: Wait, wouldn't the other ship name for them be... Ditz?

Marella: I think it would be!

Dex: And also _Detz-_

Keefe: Ooh! What about Wonderdex?

Biana: Dexelier Head?

Wylie: Dex of the Snuggles?

Fitz: I have too many nicknames.

Me: Yep. This next one is a polyam ship that I'm pretty sure no one actually ships, but it _is_ a pretty great ship name... Wylie + Linh + Dex = WINDEX!

Sophie: Windex?

Me: Yep!

Linh: What is windex?

Sophie: It's a human cleaning product.

Dex: And I assume it cleans windows?

Me: Yeah, and if you feel yourself coming down with coronavirus, drink some windex and the virus will be dead! You will too, but that's not really important.

*Everyone who lives in the United States sighs, depressed with our leadership.*

Me: Okay, I couldn't resist. Any other reactions to the ship name?

Wylie: I think it probably took a lot of effort for a ship name that isn't even that funny.

Tam: Like, FedEx makes sense because it relates to shipping. But Windex is just kind of random.

Me: Fair. Okay, so Windex without the Dex-

Dex: Oh, sure, make me irrelevant.

Me: It's for the ship name! You'll be in the next one they react to. Windex without the Dex is Winh! Any thoughts on the ship name Winh?

Biana: I think it's pretty great, the Lylie for the Winh pun.

Marella: Yeah, that makes it pretty easy to cheer for your ship, if you ship it, which we're not going to get into because A. Fan would get mad at us, but if we _were_ going to discuss the actual ship-

Tam: Subtle.

Marella: Thanks.

Me: Does everyone else agree, they like the ship name Winh?

*Everyone nods*

Me: Great, last ship name! And I don't want to hear any comments on the actual ship, but the ship name is... Destina! Many fans of the ship, of which there aren't a whole lot, will declare that "Destina is destiny." Thoughts?

Fitz: Admittedly, that is a pretty good saying to support a ship.

Dex: Ooh! And my name is in it, unlike WINH WITHOUT THE WINDEX!

Sophie: Calm down, your name was in most of these.

Me: Any other thoughts?

Linh: I agree that the Destiny thing is pretty cool.

Me: Okay, that's it! I hope you enjoyed talking about these dam good ship names!

Wylie: Not again-

 **So many dam puns in this! Percy Jackson fandom, hope you enjoyed! :P**

 **Sorry for the late update, I'll try to get another one out by the end of the month. And for readers of Swan Song- ARGH I'M SORRY I HAVE SO MUCH WRITER'S BLOCK PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I HAVE A SHADY BLACK BELT PROTECTION SQUAD THAT'S IT BYE!**

 **Wait, that's not it. I have 664 reviews... I'm almost at 666... muahahaha.**

 **All right, that's it for real. Please review!**


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